Random Fail FWP Thread 2: Something, Something, Your Mother's a Whore.

[Mayareira]

Sounds like a good excuse for a surprise road trip with some great music! OK maybe for some that doesn't sound fun but I love doing something like this every once in awhile. I'm always checking Micro Center in Madison Heights to see if I can make an excuse to have a drive....





I appreciate the sentiments from you both. I'll be the first to admit that I am more sensitive than the average person and I'll always admit my faults and own any mistakes or wrongdoings. I had decided at this place I wasn't going to just lay down tho when issues happen like at the old place because I wasn't going thru years of misery again. And just as Anoat mentioned before, if I didn't confront them about her stealing leads/sales it would continue and it indeed happened.

To add a little more since I posted a bit out of emotion yesterday, the manager stated he gave the bad coworker the go ahead to go after the lead after she text him. So the question would be, what exactly did she text him? Going off of her history and actions she probably left out the fact I had numerous conversations with this guy and had already talked with our manager (same mgr in this conversation) about it because it's a complex situation. She probably said we both had a lead for the same vehicle in the same name because he said he told her whoever sets the appointment first gets the commission. However, he exposed the fact that he basically created a cutthroat environment and encourages such actions. So really, this is a blessing because shit was going to explode eventually and I'd rather get out early.

Now to figure out what I'm going to do. I'd really like something that is task oriented and not "performance" ie numbers on a board. Or just service related. Transactions if you will. One position I'll be applying for is warehouse lending service work for a local bank. Other than that I'll have to cruise indeed and others.

Regardless of what you do you’ll have to deal with office politics of some sort. Being sensitive will, unfortunately make you feel miserable everywhere. You will fuck up your mental stability, it’ll affect your relationships, it’ll affect the joy you get from life. It is important that you admit it, it is now time for you to build up your resilience and mental toughness muscle.

First thing I suggest is that never, ever take anything at work personal..even the most pathetic attack. Don’t give a fuck, indifference is the most powerful weapon in these situations. It took me a while to develop this mentality but the payoff has been tremendous. Especially after promotions or victories I’ve had people talking crap, and I regret every time I showed my achilles heel. Consider it as a tax of success, and brush it off. Attribute anything of this sort to the instability of others and navigation through this crapstrom to your stability, this will create you a virtuous cycle. Be a fucking emotionless brick. Not a badass, or not a sensitive guy. A brick against this. Keep your friendly attitude towards everybody. Don’t be a dick to anybody. You’ll be surprised how they won’t be able to even attempt hitting you from the same place again. You’ll be surprised how such attitude eats them from inside. Show weakness and I assure you, you’ll get attacked from the same place, again and again.

Regarding stealing leads, etc... especially if it is your manager a direct confrontation will likely cost your long term future in the company unless said company is at an utopia-level idealism. You may go speak to your managers manager who might’ve done the same in the past, you’ll just receive some empty nods. Sad but true, it is an extremely annoying situation that I’ve also been into but if it happens in a company in the future that you don’t want to jeopardize your position at, just let them steal and market your talents strategically. You’ll look decent in the eyes of your sly manager (one less asshole to deal with); and in long term, the success will be back at you as others will know it as well; plus your ability to navigate from such a situation without complaining. Build relationships with clients, you’ll be invincible when you reach to the level where the client specifically states your name as the person in charge. This takes time. Hopefully this will make you find yourself in a better position in said company. Easier said than done, however. This situation is annoying, unfair as fuck.

Keep these in mind, you may someday find yourself investing a significant amount of time/resources at a job, getting promoted to a different task and facing the same situation again; except that time it may be much harder to say “gtfo”.

[Kalmado]

My doctor has suggested, pretty aggressively, that I speak with a counselor about my issues coping with bad coworkers and bad work environments. About two months ago I started being very depressed after the honeymoon ended at this place and people let their true colors show. It's not the work itself. Even though it's not fun to sometimes get bitched at or yelled at on the phone it doesn't bother me to the point I cannot do the work. But if the environment and the people I spend more time with than my wife are terrible I just crumble.

I've always had issues wearing my thoughts and feelings on my sleeve. I've said for quite some time now I'd give just about anything to be able to fix that. This is why I'm leaning towards finding work that is just task driven and not results/sales/numbers driven. I've decided my last day will be tomorrow because since I put my notice in the tension has been extremely high and my manager isn't even talking to me now. I'll finish this weeks schedule and Monday pound some pavement. My wife found a contractual job for doing PC OS/Windows install and hardware install that I've applied for. I'd love it get that. I think..!

[Moss]

"sensitive" or not, both of the jobs you've talked about here sound pretty toxic. Of course we'd all like to have impenetrably thick skin but I think you'll be fine as soon as you find a normal, professional work environment.

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[mallister]

those are not reasonable work environments.

[Astylla]

Coming from someone who had worked in every retail or customer service capacity imaginable, I do think you can overcome these issues but need the right type of job to flourish in. Sales and comission based is very cutthroat and I wanted to warn you about it because I saw it firsthand at dealerships I worked for but I also hoped maybe my second hand experience was misguided.

First so foremost I would figure out what environment you absolutely do not want to work in. That isn't to say you won't or can't but would avoid at all costs. Next you need to figure out what you need to do on your personal end to still be productive and yet maintain a balance of mental health.

I'm currently going through hell and back at my job and yeah it pays great and has amazing benefits but right now things are in absolute chaos, however the issues do not involve me personally but those around me so by doing my best job I'm staying in good graces of those that matter. I can't let it affect my mental state or I would go insane.
Just remember if you get a job it doesn't have to be forever, but try to have a plan in place so you don't feel trapped either.

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[Kalmado]

Thanks for the reply Astylla. This dealer is what my friend (parts manager for 20+ years) and I would refer to as "typical dealer attitude". However, the same attitude I'm sure is abundant in other fields. A lot of do as I say and not as I do. It's too bad because money wise there is good potential but not worth the toll it takes on me. I'm at work right now and while cleaning out my desk I grabbed the employee handbook and went thru leaving. Two week notice is expected unless they feel otherwise basically. So I don't feel bad leaving after today even tho I gave a two week notice. There is a part that made me laugh a little. "It is expected to have an exit interview with your department manager." Yeah OK.

We've found a few work from home gigs that I qualify for and I have some others on my list to visit. While it's risky to leave I'm not worried. Worst case I'll become a gil farmer.

[Moss]

Thanks for the reply Astylla. This dealer is what my friend (parts manager for 20+ years) and I would refer to as "typical dealer attitude". However, the same attitude I'm sure is abundant in other fields. A lot of do as I say and not as I do. It's too bad because money wise there is good potential but not worth the toll it takes on me. I'm at work right now and while cleaning out my desk I grabbed the employee handbook and went thru leaving. Two week notice is expected unless they feel otherwise basically. So I don't feel bad leaving after today even tho I gave a two week notice. There is a part that made me laugh a little. "It is expected to have an exit interview with your department manager." Yeah OK.

We've found a few work from home gigs that I qualify for and I have some others on my list to visit. While it's risky to leave I'm not worried. Worst case I'll become a gil farmer.

For future reference, you can give as much notice as you want. If they are 100% assholes, feel free to give them zero notice. They can fire you without notice and they could also tell you to kick rocks the day you turn in your two week notice.

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[Tokitoki]

We're trying to ween our daughter off of feedings overnight and it's terrible. Just screaming fits every couple hours. Last night was especially bad, but my wife wasn't helping. She was standing over her crib looking at her phone for some fucking reason. Then I took the baby, started walking around the room with her and calmed her down. Laid down on the bed to try to get her to sleep, but she started scratching me and pulling my chest hair. I sat her up and my wife, for some reason, reached out for her and hit her in the face.

She then proceeded to shine her phone in her face for several minutes as our daughter screamed. I wanted to tell her to stop using her phone, but decided starting a fight at 2:30 am when we're both tired and trying to get a screaming baby to sleep was not worth it.

[Salodin]

But honestly the blue light from what's undoubtably your wife's huge screen doesnt help. Should def have that talk.

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[dasva]

Last day at Disney actually flying back now and find out tonight smash mouth was gunna play

Get on plane apparently 30 empty seats. Get window near middle back no one on any row near me. A bit later there are people all around me with one of the last people to sit down deciding hey last seat on my row is perfect instead of all the other empties around and of course pretty large dude. also 2 little kids behind me and a smoking hot chick sat down next to the old dude in front of me. With kids behind me already being little kids I'd really like that old guys spot lol
Oh and apparently something weird going on so they have us waiting a good hour on the tarmac before starting our 4 hour or so flight... which I guess they had to change some peoples tickets who had tight connecting flights and mine I'll probably have to rush to and get crappy seat assignment even though I have what should be one of the earlier boardings. Seems the problem was some other people missed a flight or something so they shoved them on ours without really telling us they were holding us up and then after loading all those extra people and luggage realized it fucked with our weight so had to take even more time figuring out how to make it work

[zoobernut]

We're trying to ween our daughter off of feedings overnight and it's terrible. Just screaming fits every couple hours. Last night was especially bad, but my wife wasn't helping. She was standing over her crib looking at her phone for some fucking reason. Then I took the baby, started walking around the room with her and calmed her down. Laid down on the bed to try to get her to sleep, but she started scratching me and pulling my chest hair. I sat her up and my wife, for some reason, reached out for her and hit her in the face.

She then proceeded to shine her phone in her face for several minutes as our daughter screamed. I wanted to tell her to stop using her phone, but decided starting a fight at 2:30 am when we're both tired and trying to get a screaming baby to sleep was not worth it.

I wouldn't push to get your daughter off overnight feedings so quickly it isn't going to make things any easier. Also get a night light. Works much better when you have to do kid stuff in the middle of the night without triggering them to totally wake up. They get used to the gentle glow of it and it is more yellowish than a screen.

Also don't get on your wife about "not helping" she nurses and does so much. It isn't worth getting into that argument no matter how lopsided it feels for you sometimes. Just bite your tongue and do the best you can. People do weird things in zombie sleep mode.

I do the best I can to help out with the kids as much as possible during the day because my wife takes care of the majority of stuff that happens during the night. (at least during the nursing phase then I can help out more during the night.)

[Boyiee]

Baby's just kinda stop night feeding on their own. When the baby stops waking up you stop feeding them. She's only gonna wake if she's hungry, feed that kid.

[Ksandra]

Did the doctor recommend it? I've never heard of weaning a baby off of night feedings.

[Melena]

Order taco Bell via the app, have them confirm the order at the drive thru, and still made wrong. Then get home to confirm the wifi portion of my router went from 75% dead to 100% dead.

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[Tokitoki]

I never accused her of "not helping," the light from the phone was "not helping" the situation, but I would never accuse my wife of not doing anything.

She'll wake up because the dogs move around too much or something too and to get her back to sleep my wife would feed her, but she'd just start using the nipple as a comforting thing which is/was not comfortable for my wife.

Yes, the doctor said she should be able to sleep through the night at this point and that my wife can try to reduce the number of feedings. She was getting up every two hours when even during the day she only feeds every 3 or so. Half the time she isn't actually feeding, she's just using my wife to comfort herself back to sleep.

So we're trying to go from 4-5 "feedings" in a night to two.

[zoobernut]

I never accused her of "not helping," the light from the phone was "not helping" the situation, but I would never accuse my wife of not doing anything.

She'll wake up because the dogs move around too much or something too and to get her back to sleep my wife would feed her, but she'd just start using the nipple as a comforting thing which is/was not comfortable for my wife.

Yes, the doctor said she should be able to sleep through the night at this point and that my wife can try to reduce the number of feedings. She was getting up every two hours when even during the day she only feeds every 3 or so. Half the time she isn't actually feeding, she's just using my wife to comfort herself back to sleep.

So we're trying to go from 4-5 "feedings" in a night to two.

There isn't any "should be able to" with kids or at least very little. Unless there is actually something wrong it will cause you and your wife more headaches to try to wean her from night feedings early. Kids do that on their own. Some early and some later. Every kid is different and every situation is different though so it is hard for any of the BG parents to give you advice. What I know helped my wife is learning to nurse lying down on her side this meant that even if the kid was using the boob to soothe and fall back asleep it didn't have too great an effect on my wife and once the kid fell asleep I could pick him up and put him back in his own bed. Also it helps to make sure that your kid eats a largish meal or has a lot of boob right before bed. Fuller tummy means more sleeping and less waking in my experience.

Our first son was super sensitive to sounds and would wake up easily our second sleeps through vacuuming next to his head.

[Boyiee]

If they are just pacifying on the nipple give them a pacifier.

[Tokitoki]

She doesn't take a pacifier. We give her a teether, one of the soft ones (think they're silicone maybe?), but it doesn't have the same effect.

EDIT: It's a natural rubber. Haakkaa Natural Rubber Smiling Owl

[zoobernut]

She doesn't take a pacifier. We give her a teether, one of the soft ones (think they're silicone maybe?), but it doesn't have the same effect.

EDIT: It's a natural rubber. Haakkaa Natural Rubber Smiling Owl

Some kids will take pacifiers and some wont. First kid we had a hard time getting him off the pacifier had to hide them all when he was 4 or 5. Second kid won't take them at all never has.

[dasva]

Back and already getting fielded multiple questions why the computers/programs aren't working or doing something weird while being told they don't know what they did or even when/how they closed a program. Almost none of these things would come up if people just read the screen and paid attention to what they were clicking

Also this morning found a good 6-8 mistakes for todays run...just while trying to get up to speed and fix all the stuff for tomorrows run all without having anyone help me with it. Big stuff like stuff not making it to run sheets, invoices not printed, printed but never taken off of printer so a ton of shit not getting done today. Of course too late to do anything. More people not paying a damn bit of attention to what they are doing considering I found it easily while catching up on 2 weeks of vacation while playing games on my phone. and not getting home till like 1 am last night. And that doesn't count the couple of dozen fixes I got to barely fix before too late for next couple of days that I was told was done