Random Fail FWP Thread 2: Something, Something, Your Mother's a Whore.

[Salodin]

Tried to hand in my pink slip yesterday, but my boss insists that I only have 4 days of vacation left and wants to me to rescind my right to 4 days of pay next month and come into office three days a week, as opposed to my plans of two days a week and full pay.

Pointed out to her that, according to the law, I have a right to all remaining days of vacation for the year if I quit after June 31st and she insists I'm wrong and accuses me of having waited until now to quit for that reason because I obviously wouldn't have quit two months ago if that were the case (not to mention that she wanted me to stay so I could teach everyone how this office actually works). So now she wants to consult the lawyer first for something she could look up in a matter of two minutes.

Even bigger fail is that I'm alone in office today, so I tried to kill some time by sleeping, but there's a fly here that just won't leave me alone, so now I'm working anyway.

No she just doesn't want to pay her full time employees what they're worth. She sees you about to quit with a payout of vacation time as giving you free money to quit instead of her full time employee cashing out the vacation time he already earned but she never paid out. Fuck her, give your notice, and if she really wants you to stay come back as a consultant lmao.

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[Xno Kappa]

The wifey's birthday coming up here soon and I can't figure out what to buy her.

[Astylla]

The wifey's birthday coming up here soon and I can't figure out what to buy her.

You guys just had a kid right ? Offer to take care of the baby while she goes to a spa or something special she would like maybe to feel refreshed. I’m just going off of my facebook friends who are parents and how they are always saying things like this so take it with a grain of salt.
Or maybe plan a weekend away together in the future as well.

[dasva]

So finally got tired of cars trying to hit me and been trying to contact local traffic division on that. Takes them over a week to get back to me. Basically get told no citations or anything can be done unless a police officer sees it happen. My testimony means nothing even if I video taped it would likely wouldn't be sufficient. If I got witnesses maybe if they all showed up. Guess really am going to have to handle it myself

[BaneTheBrawler]

could always make a compilation video titled "unsafe drivers in X county, cops wont do anything" and await the media firestorm

[dasva]

So I was low key actually considering something like that. Though it seems like it's less the cops fault and more our legal system since people can get out of all kinds of shit

[Xno Kappa]

You guys just had a kid right ? Offer to take care of the baby while she goes to a spa or something special she would like maybe to feel refreshed.

Bam! Brilliant. Fucking thank you lol.

[zoobernut]

Bam! Brilliant. Fucking thank you lol.

Speaking from experience though don't be offended if she doesn't go for this idea and have a backup plan. Everyone is different and every new mother has different things that they are comfortable with. I know my wife wouldn't think of going out to do something by herself with either of our kids when they were less than a few months old. For the first few months she just wanted to be with them and would barely even leave me alone with them. Not in a negative way really but just a bonding sort of a way.

See if you can get some stuff to create a spa day for your wife at home so she can feel relaxed and pampered but also not be too far away from the baby as an alternative if she doesn't want to go out and be by herself.

[Xno Kappa]

Yeah if I do this I’ll have her go with her sister. I’m going to have to do some calling around Monday/Tuesday though to see if there’ll be any problems with her doing a spa day 5-6 weeks after a c-section.

[Anoat]

Yeah since it is so soon since birth she might not enjoy having time away from the baby. And it’s not something she can really help, I’ve seen it with a lot of new mothers. They are supposed to be having a night out with friends or even just dinner but they always get so anxious being away from the baby they rush home.

[Melena]

Had Taco Bell for dinner eight hours ago, my stomach is still punishing me for it

[Ksandra]

Yeah since it is so soon since birth she might not enjoy having time away from the baby. And it’s not something she can really help, I’ve seen it with a lot of new mothers. They are supposed to be having a night out with friends or even just dinner but they always get so anxious being away from the baby they rush home.

Agreed. Especially if she’s breastfeeding. Spa at home sounds great though. Maybe hire a maid service for the day to really clean up the place while you do all the cooking.

Depending on how soon it is, don’t plan a hot bath. I forget the waiting period, but her inner bits might still be going back into place and I remember the doctor telling me no spas/baths for X time.


You could be cutesy and get an at home facial kit and do it to her.

[Petitssk]

No she just doesn't want to pay her full time employees what they're worth. She sees you about to quit with a payout of vacation time as giving you free money to quit instead of her full time employee cashing out the vacation time he already earned but she never paid out. Fuck her, give your notice, and if she really wants you to stay come back as a consultant lmao.

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Hell, no, they did ask me several times to stay, but I just want to get out of there already. Either way, it's probably a bit of both, but I think she just genuinely didn't know about it. Fortunately, her lawyer knew better than her, so I'll be working two days a week until the end of the month at full pay.

[Boyiee]

Had Taco Bell for dinner eight hours ago, my stomach is still punishing me for it

I was eating really great for the last month planning to get blood work done, fell off in the last few days.

Decided on Taco Bell and Kombucha tonight to hit the reset button when my reheated salmon I meal prepped made me nauseous.

Bring it on. Gonna get one of those cleanse drinks for lunch tomorrow from that fruit bowl place, maybe some wheat grass. MY BODY IS READY.

[Cream Soda]

Lol had an interview and 2hrs later got rejected from mcdonalds; probably the most pathetic nigga on bg, xD

[Anoat]

The fuck dude, lol

You pretty much have to either piss hot on initial drug screening or murder someone on your way out from the interview for McDonald’s to turn you down, so which was it?

[Melena]

The fuck dude, lol

You pretty much have to either piss hot on initial drug screening or murder someone on your way out from the interview for McDonald’s to turn you down, so which was it?

McDonald's I used to work at when I was younger wouldn't hire anyone that had above an AA or finished school because they expected them to be gone within a month. Really amusing as that same one actually got raided by INS, and it was common to see kitchen staff take a week vacation then come back with a new name.

[Krazy]

Apparently I hate myself because I'm watching season 2 of Ozark even though the first was so fucking dumb. Glad to see this season follows the exact same formula the first did.

[Astylla]

Just had this bitch cut me off in a parking lot to get to the car wash literally 10 seconds before me. Out of state temporary plates at that driving a Fiat. I hate people.

[Krazy]

Parking lots are the worst, especially ones with yield signs. Cuz guess who's not stopping at that yield sign when I've got the right of way? All the assholes who almost t-bone me whenever I get groceries.