Random Fail FWP Thread 2: Something, Something, Your Mother's a Whore.

[zoobernut]

A while back my wife told her place of work that they need to provide better benefits for paternity leave or she'll start looking for a new place to work. A couple weeks after that the owner told her that they are making some changes and that she hopes she is satisfied because they want to keep her on. A few weeks ago her supervisor talked to her and said they've implemented a flex spending account where you can deposit money into the account pre-tax to use for medical, baby, etc. stuff. Yesterday she learned that that was the change they were touting.

Wouldn't be so bad if she had more than 4 paychecks to pay into it before going on maternity. Their current policy only gives 50% of pay for 12 weeks, which is exactly what is covered by New York State under their Paid Family Leave legislation. Basically, they're not providing anything extra. Now we're both stressing the next few months as we try to tighten our belts further and the extra stress/anxiety isn't great for the baby either. I suggested that we cut back on going out with friends and got three texts in response that snapped at me. So the next 5 months are going to be great.

Yeah we went into scarcity mode for about a year with both of our kids. It is sucky but you can do it. Just cut way back on all the luxuries. In the end it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Now that our boys are 2 and almost 7 though our food bill is getting out of hand.

Edit: About the pregnant lady employee. It really sucks. It sucks that her performance was falling and she wasn't a good coworker to have for Kalmado. It sucks that pregnancy brain is a real thing so I am sure she feels super bad about it and is really stressed out. It sucks that she screwed up for everyone involved. I feel sympathy for her and I get that it was rough to work with her. I hope that she can improve her situation after having the baby. The good thing is that if she gets fired then she can collect unemployment.

[Kalmado]

She just text me. She's taking a break outside of the office. Not fired. Obviously not good though. I agree about pregnancy brain even if I don't have kids or my wife never has. I get it. You got a ton on your plate. Her last six or so months have been nuts too. I do not want to sound cruel but you gotta get it together at work. And if it's too much, go on rest. For what we do, we're dealing with making sure peoples stuff and really their lives are taken care of. There should be zero room for failure.

[zoobernut]

She just text me. She's taking a break outside of the office. Not fired. Obviously not good though. I agree about pregnancy brain even if I don't have kids or my wife never has. I get it. You got a ton on your plate. Her last six or so months have been nuts too. I do not want to sound cruel but you gotta get it together at work. And if it's too much, go on rest. For what we do, we're dealing with making sure peoples stuff and really their lives are taken care of. There should be zero room for failure.

Oh I absolutely agree with you. People need to know their limits and take a break when needed. In fact she could probably get a dr note related to this and go on paid medical leave (depending on the state) It sucks she is bad at her job. It sounds like she is a good person other than that.

[Tokitoki]

Yeah we went into scarcity mode for about a year with both of our kids. It is sucky but you can do it. Just cut way back on all the luxuries. In the end it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Now that our boys are 2 and almost 7 though our food bill is getting out of hand.

I know we can do it, but there are a number of things that need to be kept in perspective and I feel like some of that is lost between her and I because of what I cover. I tried explaining that I use a budget and track spending versus what I bring in every month, even with different categories, and it seems to come back to "well what else can you cut back" as if it's all on me. When I suggest one way to cut back I immediately got snapped at. Last night I suggested that I was going to see if one of the beer places or breweries nearby needed a part-timer on the weekends or evenings and she complained about that as well. I just can't win.

Anyway just a way for me to vent. Thanks for the encouragement.

Idk what your wife does but I feel like ultimatums like this are always doomed

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She has the pull to do it, but phrased it nicer than I did. The company as a whole is incredibly small and they really aren't competitive benefits-wise. A lot of companies in the NY area are now providing 80-100% pay for maternity leave since the state covers 50% as is. We want to have a second kid within the next few years which means she's likely to start looking for another job soon.

[zoobernut]

I know we can do it, but there are a number of things that need to be kept in perspective and I feel like some of that is lost between her and I because of what I cover. I tried explaining that I use a budget and track spending versus what I bring in every month, even with different categories, and it seems to come back to "well what else can you cut back" as if it's all on me. When I suggest one way to cut back I immediately got snapped at. Last night I suggested that I was going to see if one of the beer places or breweries nearby needed a part-timer on the weekends or evenings and she complained about that as well. I just can't win.

Anyway just a way for me to vent. Thanks for the encouragement.

If you can understand this is how it is and navigate through based on the bold you will do just fine. Hormones go crazy nuts and your wife will be jumping you horny one moment and screaming at you the next. Do your best to go with the flow and understand that explaining things in a rational way doesn't necessarily work. And yeah our wives make HUGE sacrifices to be pregnant and have kids so sometimes we have to shoulder the burden a little bit more in other areas. It is possible that you will have to do the majority of cutting back. I was right there with you. Though my wife is frugal as heck so really I was the only one who could cut back.

Also having you anywhere other than home will be like pulling teeth so if you do need to pick up a second job or take some alone time or anything like that tread lightly and be flexible.

Cheers to starting a family though! Welcome to the BG parents club. It is amazing how all of us young kids from when these forums started are growing up and having families now.

[Salodin]

Damn imagine getting off the hook for insurance fraud because of "pregnancy brain". Holy cow that company must love her or she knows where a couple skeletons are hidden.

Also, I've never heard of a story where an employee asking for more or they bounce ended up satisfactory for the employee. They either dont deliver on the promise they made and you wasted your time waiting for them, or they find your replacement on the dl and fire you on that persons first day. This is America baby.

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[Astylla]

Had to go to the doctor today because I’ve been sick as fuck since Sunday. Get antibiotics prescribed and was so out of it/exhausted didn’t pay attention much to the name. After taking first day’s dose realize this is one of two that makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. It’s so bad I would welcome my worst period cramps back and those made me nearly pass out.

Just emailed my doctor asking for something new , ugh. Being allergic to penicillin sucks

[Malithar]

Also, I've never heard of a story where an employee asking for more or they bounce ended up satisfactory for the employee. They either dont deliver on the promise they made and you wasted your time waiting for them, or they find your replacement on the dl and fire you on that persons first day. This is America baby.

I had an experience like this about 8 months ago. I was paid on the low end of the spectrum to dispatch for a local HVAC company. Another in the area was looking to expand and was making aggressive offers. Like any field, word spreads, and I heard from a friend about the place so I reached out. Had lunch with the owner and he seemed a little direct, but not too out there. I was offered 40% more annually, firmly getting over $50k, along with better vacation accrual rates. I liked where I currently worked and they were only a 5 minute drive from me, compared to the new place being 25~ minutes away. That said, a few weeks prior, a fellow employee raised a fuss that I wasn't politically correct towards her (I told her to stop with the attitude when I was doing a process correction with her). I got written up because I was "too direct and unforgiving." That instance along with the better offer made me feel like I'd be silly to not pursue it.

Told em I didn't think this was the place for me if they wanted everyone to be special butterflies and lose business to someone not wanting to be held accountable to a standard for work. Put in my two weeks, explained I had another offer, but was willing to discuss it if they'd like. I didn't prattle about. They gave it a week and had a sit down with me. End result was I got bumped to lead dispatch with a 37%~ increase in pay, my own office, and a discussion concerning further corrective processes and such. It's come up since then and they've held firm to their word. Obviously if you go over the edge and yell at someone, you're prolly fucked. But no more "he hurt my feelings with words because I'm not doing my job" write ups.

FML portion of staying today: Writing a process for generating call lists since our software is a potato and outputs some bullshit. I got with the CSR lead to see how clear the process was. It's fairly Excel intensive, but it's mostly baseline functions, sorting, filtering, removing duplicates at specific steps, etc. I thought I wrote it so someone with a minute knowledge could do it. The first question I got was "where's cell A2?" I've heard that before, so I explained it like Battleship. "Ohhh, I get it. So where's cell A2?"

Fucking hell.

[dasva]

That's a rather different situation though. It's not a do more or I leave it's your direct competitor is aggressively trying to get me away from you. Creates a much bigger risk of you actually following thru AND cost if you do. Not to mention basically no risk for you since either way you moving up. Like if you got the upperhand and backups lined up sure negotiate aggressively... but that's not the norm

[Kalmado]

Damn imagine getting off the hook for insurance fraud because of "pregnancy brain". Holy cow that company must love her or she knows where a couple skeletons are hidden.

If the company/corporate knew both of them would've been fired a long time ago. We're technically not employed by corporate but we have an agreement to sell and represent on their behalf. With these two open incidents it may very well lead to corporate getting involved because this could easily lead to an E&O suit. I'm going to message some people that work in claims and E&O to see what they think. To me, what she did wasn't fraudulent. It was misrepresentation and I know why. I'm not going to bother getting into the fine details but basically little bro didn't qualify on his own so that's where big bro came into play on the insurance side.

As far as skeletons, pregs and I have discussed that regarding the lazy one. Pregs has been the highest producer in this agency of 3 for the last seven years. She gets the "well she produces numbers" pass, which I feel is bullshit but that's another rant. The other one has been here for 18 years, has on average always been last in sales, and is absolutely terrible at customer service and interacting with the general public. We know she was kept on because about six years ago her ex husband and father to two 14 year old boys and a 9 year old daughter was killed in a car accident. But also, she's kind of been his charity case. That can only go so far when as a worker she has done 90% harm and 10% good in at least the 18 months I've been here. But now with this potential E&O claim she has created out of pure laziness, the chickens may finally come home to roost and if the boss doesn't get rid of her corporate will get rid of her or get rid of the agency as a whole.

[Salodin]

If the company/corporate knew both of them would've been fired a long time ago. We're technically not employed by corporate but we have an agreement to sell and represent on their behalf. With these two open incidents it may very well lead to corporate getting involved because this could easily lead to an E&O suit. I'm going to message some people that work in claims and E&O to see what they think. To me, what she did wasn't fraudulent. It was misrepresentation and I know why. I'm not going to bother getting into the fine details but basically little bro didn't qualify on his own so that's where big bro came into play on the insurance side.

As far as skeletons, pregs and I have discussed that regarding the lazy one. Pregs has been the highest producer in this agency of 3 for the last seven years. She gets the "well she produces numbers" pass, which I feel is bullshit but that's another rant. The other one has been here for 18 years, has on average always been last in sales, and is absolutely terrible at customer service and interacting with the general public. We know she was kept on because about six years ago her ex husband and father to two 14 year old boys and a 9 year old daughter was killed in a car accident. But also, she's kind of been his charity case. That can only go so far when as a worker she has done 90% harm and 10% good in at least the 18 months I've been here. But now with this potential E&O claim she has created out of pure laziness, the chickens may finally come home to roost and if the boss doesn't get rid of her corporate will get rid of her or get rid of the agency as a whole.

Do keep us updated!

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[Anoat]

Ultimatums at work don’t do you much good unless you already have a job offer in writing to counter with. Otherwise you need to be prepared mentally and financially when the company calls your bluff and tells you to walk if you aren’t happy or get back to work.

[Kalmado]

I haven't made any ultimatums with my boss. Last night after work we met for a half hour after the others left and I turned my filter mostly off. Said point blank the lazy one is terrible and shouldn't be near new biz or any sales. She couldn't sell a drowning man a life jacket. My point of letting loose is pregs is out the door this month at some point. She says she'll be back in four months. Doubt it. He needs to hire someone else but hasn't even interviewed anyone yet. Other coworker as mentioned is terrible. So he can either clean up his 18 year mess and start getting with the times or he'll need to look for two people to hire and have only himself and his 18 year mess who can't sell and oh yeah, constantly leaves work because of things like she has to take her 22 year old boys to the dentist or spend 5 hours at the Sprint store to be there when her parents bought phones.

[Yabby]

Ultimatums at work don’t do you much good unless you already have a job offer in writing to counter with. Otherwise you need to be prepared mentally and financially when the company calls your bluff and tells you to walk if you aren’t happy or get back to work.

This is just sad that it has to be like this. Every major raise I've gotten was because i was about to move on, or had an offer. Last time i left a job they offer to match the job i had lined up, plus 10%. I ended up turning it down because I felt a little insulted. I got a few raises before, but they were offering almost 40k raise to keep me. What pissed me off was that meant they knew i was worth a lot more, but would only pay if they had to.

[Salodin]

This is why managers dont want to be your friend, or owners hire help to do all this nitty gritty.

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[Abandon]

I haven't made any ultimatums with my boss. Last night after work we met for a half hour after the others left and I turned my filter mostly off. Said point blank the lazy one is terrible and shouldn't be near new biz or any sales. She couldn't sell a drowning man a life jacket. My point of letting loose is pregs is out the door this month at some point. She says she'll be back in four months. Doubt it. He needs to hire someone else but hasn't even interviewed anyone yet. Other coworker as mentioned is terrible. So he can either clean up his 18 year mess and start getting with the times or he'll need to look for two people to hire and have only himself and his 18 year mess who can't sell and oh yeah, constantly leaves work because of things like she has to take her 22 year old boys to the dentist or spend 5 hours at the Sprint store to be there when her parents bought phones.

jfc, hard pass on your situation

[Moss]

Ultimatums at work don’t do you much good unless you already have a job offer in writing to counter with. Otherwise you need to be prepared mentally and financially when the company calls your bluff and tells you to walk if you aren’t happy or get back to work.

That's the thing though - let's say they match or exceed your new offer and you don't leave. Are you confident they aren't immediately trying to find your replacement that's either cheaper or more "loyal."

To me, once you've planted that seed that you've looked elsewhere, your days are numbered.

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[Salodin]

That's the thing though - let's say they match or exceed your new offer and you don't leave. Are you confident they aren't immediately trying to find your replacement that's either cheaper or more "loyal."

To me, once you've planted that seed that you've looked elsewhere, your days are numbered.

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This right here.

Honestly in an America where you can be fired for any reason, and the market is filled with people looking to make ends meet, I see no reason why companies would go above and beyond in retaining people not satisfied with their current compensation. Unless you have a highly specialized skill or are the best in closing sales and saving money, you can be easily replaced. Theres no reason to try and make you happy with a raise when they can likely get the same results for less money if they hired new.

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[Kalmado]

jfc, hard pass on your situation

A lot of people say it and say to move on. I get it. I'm looking but am not pressing a new job because my wife and I have a plan. She'll be done with her RN in two years. At that point I'll either ask to be part time or outright quit and am going to school full time to finish my degree so I can move on from jobs like this. At this job I do make decent coin, bankers hours with all the holidays off, and even though my boss isn't involved in his business like he should be, he isn't a dick. He's not mean and he doesn't yell. That means a lot to me for right now.

I'm not sure if I want to continue my associates in computer programming or move to all business or finance. A lifetime ago I also wanted to look into being a paralegal. In two years I'll move on from this and be better off with anything I choose!

[Abandon]

A lot of people say it and say to move on. I get it. I'm looking but am not pressing a new job because my wife and I have a plan. She'll be done with her RN in two years. At that point I'll either ask to be part time or outright quit and am going to school full time to finish my degree so I can move on from jobs like this. At this job I do make decent coin, bankers hours with all the holidays off, and even though my boss isn't involved in his business like he should be, he isn't a dick. He's not mean and he doesn't yell. That means a lot to me for right now.

I'm not sure if I want to continue my associates in computer programming or move to all business or finance. A lifetime ago I also wanted to look into being a paralegal. In two years I'll move on from this and be better off with anything I choose!

that's not what i meant, my bad. i'm mostly saying "yeah fuck that, good luck"