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  1. #1
    Limecat
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    Looking for honest advice.

    So, as some of you might know, but for those that don't or don't care.

    Over the last year I was battling Stage 4 Cancer. I beat it. I've been in remission since Jan but I wanted to ask some people here some recovery questions. I actually asked Reddit first on several differentt Sub reddits but 99% of those people just telling me to take "All Natural" whatevers and wouldn't understand why I can't.(They'll kill me)

    So,I know a lot of people of BG have had encounters with Cancer, I'm looking for some honest to god honest advice on the subject of recovering from Cancer.

    And yes, I've brought all these up to my doctors and just got told "Nothing can be done until your body recoveries from the chemo.(Could take up to 2 years)

    The first question I have is pain related. Does anyone have any tips to help with the random bouts of pain I get. For example, a weird side effect from Chemo(Actually, most the questions are chemo related) where, randomly, about twice a day, either the tendon in the bottom of my foot, stretches and locks up, causing me horrible pain. It lasts for about 2-4 minutes, or it also happens on my Forearms, same thing, the tendon/muscle/whatever just goes super tight and hurts like hell for a few minutes, then stops.



    Any suggestions on that?

    This one is a tough one. Its the severe lack of Energy due to pain and not sleeping. Since I'm in remission and since there is always a drug crisis going on, my pain docs want me off painkillers as soon as possible so far that i'm on child doses of everything, which is really fucking annoying. I constantly use a heating pad/Ice pack but those don't seem to help. And another reason for the lack of sleep is the constant nightmares I keep having(I dream my cancer came back, I died, and left my wife a Widow, then the dream follows her story after I'm gone. Not your typical nightmares). I currently consider a good nights sleep when I can sleep for more than 3 hours in one session. An Example of just how bad this lack of energy is. Before Cancer, if I was up and working/not working/hanging with the wife, I'd be in my game room, either watching videos or playing Ps4. Energy is so bad that I can't even go chill in my game room. That's also worrying me some cause I WANT to get back to work. Any suggestions there?


    Now, the one the bothers me the most. This is called Chemo Brain. My doctors again, said this is something that should go away with time but right now, the further out I get from cancer, the worst the chemo brain is. For those that don't know, Chemo brain is like a heavy mental fog. I have extreme issues remembering the simplest of things. Like, the other day, I was at 711 buying some stuff. I pulled out my debit card to pay, I put it in the machine, blink, and suddenly I have no memory of where my debit card is. I'm patting and looking into every pocket, I'm running around the store, and I was about to leave thinking I had left it at home. Once the cashier got my attention, they told me pointed to where it was. I had not even started to pay for it. I feel like I'm losing myself.

    My doctors also believe i'm suffering heavily from PTSD due to how serious this was. I usually don't like to say that cause I always feel like a douche who throws that word around when they don't get their way. But having gone through this,this has been the most scary and horrifying thing i've ever done in my life. Going through CF and Transplant were a joke to Cancer. Hell, I'd rather go through 10 transplants, have my balls and reattached 1000 times, and deal with my mom on a daily basis than to ever go through this shit again.


    Again, anyone, any tips?

    I just want to get back to who/what I was before this whole ordeal.

    Edit; While, yes, I know the doctors say wait and I will, I was just curious if people have any personal experiences that helped them recover better/faster. Just getting frustrated.

    And I will say this, from the bottom of my heart. I apologize to everyone who I pissed off or annoyed. I had my head up my ass. For that, I am truly sorry.
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  2. #2
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    3-4 of those are to see a psychiatrist or pmhnp. This is complex and shouldn't be pawned off to just primary care or hem/onc. There's meds to help you sleep that should also alleviate nightmares. There's meds for the PTSD. Have you ever had a psych consult? Because you've seen some shit.
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  3. #3
    Limecat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyche View Post
    3-4 of those are to see a psychiatrist or pmhnp. This is complex and shouldn't be pawned off to just primary care or hem/onc. There's meds to help you sleep that should also alleviate nightmares. There's meds for the PTSD. Have you ever had a psych consult? Because you've seen some shit.
    Ive spoken to a few psych docs. Most have just said, basically “Man up”. Doctors aren’t really listening to me because of what went down at the start of Cancer(made a few blog posts about it). I’m kind of in a weird spot when it comes to being put on various meds that I probably should be on. Due to my medical history.

    I doubt there’s much anyone can really say to offer advice/help but I figured I’d ask. I did the same thing ten years ago for transplant and actually got some advice about it. If people aren’t feeling this thread or thinks it my old feel sorry for me posts, feel free to delete this. I am genuinely asking for advice but I realize how unlikely that is.
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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myrrh_Quetz View Post
    I doubt there’s much anyone can really say to offer advice/help but I figured I’d ask. I did the same thing ten years ago for transplant and actually got some advice about it. If people aren’t feeling this thread or thinks it my old feel sorry for me posts, feel free to delete this. I am genuinely asking for advice but I realize how unlikely that is.
    Honestly the best advice I can give you is find a professional. I don't think there's anything here that anyone (Maybe outside of 2-3 people at top) can give life defining advice.

    If there's one thing I can say.

    I just want to get back to who/what I was before this whole ordeal.
    I think a first step is going to be accepting that you won't become 100% percent yourself. But you should still strive to work towards it as far as you can. I'm going to hoping for the best for you and hopefully a couple rounds of Destiny 2 will help put you at ease even if the muscle memory hasn't kicked in. See if there's a local support group you can attend that might help out.
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  5. #5
    Limecat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiye View Post
    Honestly the best advice I can give you is find a professional. I don't think there's anything here that anyone (Maybe outside of 2-3 people at top) can give life defining advice.

    If there's one thing I can say.



    I think a first step is going to be accepting that you won't become 100% percent yourself. But you should still strive to work towards it as far as you can. I'm going to hoping for the best for you and hopefully a couple rounds of Destiny 2 will help put you at ease even if the muscle memory hasn't kicked in. See if there's a local support group you can attend that might help out.
    I looked into several cancer support groups but the ones in my city, for whatever reason, don’t allow spouses, friends, or family, and I was told they follow a STRICT topic guide and constantly stepping outside of the topic would result in removal from the group. I’m not even joking. I had asked about support groups at the start of all this because I had found the lung transplant support group very helpful. I’m just honestly scared. The more shit I go through, the less possible it is for me to find someone who understands or has been through something similar.

    And truthfully, at this point, if someone suggested that a spoonful of peanut butter up my ass would alleviate any one of my issues, I would try it. That’s kind of the advice I’m looking for.(not shoving stuff up my bum. Just something simple that I probably wouldn’t have thought of trying). I’m not asking if you guys have the cure for PTSD lol

    Thank you for suggesting it though.
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    I can't speak to your specific situation and cancer recovery, but a couple of the things you list (muscle locks, brain fog) sound an awful lot like an electrolyte imbalance: specifically low on sodium, magnesium and potassium. Is that something that can be safely explored? You mentioned some things can be specifically dangerous for you.
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    As far as the cramping, do you find that it happens if your arms/legs are left in a certain position for too long? Can you feel it coming and change positions?

    I know I can trigger a cramp by pointing my toes for too long, for instance. Eventually I figured out how to tell it was going to happen and now subconsciously avoid it.
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamison View Post
    I can't speak to your specific situation and cancer recovery, but a couple of the things you list (muscle locks, brain fog) sound an awful lot like an electrolyte imbalance: specifically low on sodium, magnesium and potassium. Is that something that can be safely explored? You mentioned some things can be specifically dangerous for you.
    That was an issue I had at the start but now that’s constantly monitored and my levels are fine now. Here’s a quick list of certain complications just so you have a slight understanding of why I’m “stuck” so to speak when it comes to various medications

    Cystic Fibrosis, double lung transplant, stage 4 Lymphoma


    Quote Originally Posted by Byrthnoth View Post
    As far as the cramping, do you find that it happens if your arms/legs are left in a certain position for too long? Can you feel it coming and change positions?

    I know I can trigger a cramp by pointing my toes for too long, for instance. Eventually I figured out how to tell it was going to happen and now subconsciously avoid it.

    The cramping thing happens randomly regardless of position or activity. I kind of have a theory that it might be some kind of damage done from the lymph nodes but I’m no doctor. I’ve told my doctors about it and they thought I might have suffered some brain damage that lead to nerve damage but after many tests that proved false(Brain damage is still there. We all know I’m fucking retarded lol)

    Oh and the chemo did cause some sort of actual brain damage. It started out during chemo where my left forearm down(to my fingers) would go completely limp for 10 minutes at a time. The limp thing is gone but I now have issues holding things. I constantly just drop things. Like if I have a grip on something, my hand just opens up on its own. It’s very hard to properly explain but docs told me that’s from the chemo and it’s not going away. They said the other stuff should be getting better but I’ve found it’s getting worse. So, I unno.

    Again, thank you both for the suggestions.
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  9. #9

    I get the cramping thing too on occasion. I think it's a pretty normal thing, as far as I can tell. From what I've seen its usually from stretching to far, causing the muscle to go "wtf no" and cramp up to stop it.

    And yeah, "going back to what you were " isn't the mindset to focus on. Every moment we are changing- you can't go back. That old temple has been razed - rather than trying to recreate it perfectly and be constantly unsatisfied with the results not being quite right, look at this as an opportunity to reassess yourself. Figure out what you want to get better at and work toward it. The goal isn't "I want to be as sharp a thinker as I was before ", it should be " I want to improve my memory and focus" with an end goal that's not tied to the past.

    Look to tomorrow, not to yesterday, last the past ensnare you.
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myrrh_Quetz View Post
    Ive spoken to a few psych docs. Most have just said, basically “Man up”. Doctors aren’t really listening to me because of what went down at the start of Cancer(made a few blog posts about it). I’m kind of in a weird spot when it comes to being put on various meds that I probably should be on. Due to my medical history.

    I doubt there’s much anyone can really say to offer advice/help but I figured I’d ask. I did the same thing ten years ago for transplant and actually got some advice about it. If people aren’t feeling this thread or thinks it my old feel sorry for me posts, feel free to delete this. I am genuinely asking for advice but I realize how unlikely that is.
    A psychiatric provider simply saying "be more mentally tough" is borderline malpractice. Did you see a psychiatrist/pmhnp or a psychotherapist? Psychdocs is a bit nonspecific. Psychotherapists, psychologists, therapists, etc cannot diagnose or prescribe. The things you are experiencing are not unique and are very treatable with an appropriate health history and diagnosis. Like I said, what you have going on is complex, but there's no reason it shouldn't be treatable. Hell, rispiradone is pretty much a 1st line treatment for nightmares associated with PTSD, which from the cursory history you provided, you would likely benefit from. Stimulants, while not a cure, could help with the chemobrain. Again, things you should discuss with a psychiatric provider.
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  11. #11
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    Agreeing with Tyche, if your mental health professionals are telling you to toughen up they should not be in practice. It's completely absurd to imagine my own therapist saying anything close to something of that effect.

    Have you discussed CBD with any of your providers? It may help the pain + sleep issues, at least it has for me (more sleep than pain, but it supposedly helps both). I'm as a rule very against "alternative" medicines but a sparse few do have benefits and CBD has been useful after discussing it with my doctor.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myrrh_Quetz View Post
    That was an issue I had at the start but now that’s constantly monitored and my levels are fine now. Here’s a quick list of certain complications just so you have a slight understanding of why I’m “stuck” so to speak when it comes to various medications
    So I've only researched this from a nutrition angle, and not a medical one. We're fast approaching "I'm speaking out of my ass" territory. I am curious what your normal diet is like though, as there are some groups that are advised to go over the normal recommended daily intake on electrolytes. If, by chance, you don't retain typical amounts of water in your body, and/or pee a good deal more frequently, it's still possible to not be absorbing enough despite the levels looking correct. I want to say that magnesium and potassium can't absorb correctly without the other present, and if you are supplementing, certain types of magnesium have very low actual absorption where others are significantly higher.

    I doubt I've got much more to offer other than best wishes and hopes that you find a way through all this.
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  13. #13
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    I recall your posts from your lung transplant days, what you’ve gone through is a real sign of resilience, I don’t think anyone can have balls to ask you to man up. I wish I could offer a solid advice other than “visit a good professional”. If you are not getting the help you think you should be getting, maybe try someone else. Or even overseas where doctors are much more attentive.

    My father in law went through the chemo process and beat lung cancer. It was a very difficult 2 years but he is ok now. By “ok” except for random lung related diseases that take longer to heal, he does almost everything he enjoyed to do pre-cancer days.This too shall pass.
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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guitarman View Post
    Agreeing with Tyche, if your mental health professionals are telling you to toughen up they should not be in practice. It's completely absurd to imagine my own therapist saying anything close to something of that effect.

    Have you discussed CBD with any of your providers? It may help the pain + sleep issues, at least it has for me (more sleep than pain, but it supposedly helps both). I'm as a rule very against "alternative" medicines but a sparse few do have benefits and CBD has been useful after discussing it with my doctor.
    I’ve tried various CBD and THC things. From edibles to “Phoenix Tears”, and even CBD bath bombs.

    I’ll be fully honest here. The best thing I had for pain and sleep was Ketamine. You might think I’m addicted or that sounds extreme but on the low dose I was on, it worked wonders. I would even go as far to say IT CURED MY PAIN. Sadly, though, with my city in a huge drug crisis that couldn’t keep me on it and it’s only covered if you’re palliative.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jamison View Post
    So I've only researched this from a nutrition angle, and not a medical one. We're fast approaching "I'm speaking out of my ass" territory. I am curious what your normal diet is like though, as there are some groups that are advised to go over the normal recommended daily intake on electrolytes. If, by chance, you don't retain typical amounts of water in your body, and/or pee a good deal more frequently, it's still possible to not be absorbing enough despite the levels looking correct. I want to say that magnesium and potassium can't absorb correctly without the other present, and if you are supplementing, certain types of magnesium have very low actual absorption where others are significantly higher.

    I doubt I've got much more to offer other than best wishes and hopes that you find a way through all this.
    I basically eat any and everything I can. Still a fun side effect of my Cystic Fibrosis. Ever since I’ve been in remission I actually gained over 60 pounds. For the first time in 30 years of my life, I weigh 200 pounds.



    Quote Originally Posted by Tyche View Post
    A psychiatric provider simply saying "be more mentally tough" is borderline malpractice. Did you see a psychiatrist/pmhnp or a psychotherapist? Psychdocs is a bit nonspecific. Psychotherapists, psychologists, therapists, etc cannot diagnose or prescribe. The things you are experiencing are not unique and are very treatable with an appropriate health history and diagnosis. Like I said, what you have going on is complex, but there's no reason it shouldn't be treatable. Hell, rispiradone is pretty much a 1st line treatment for nightmares associated with PTSD, which from the cursory history you provided, you would likely benefit from. Stimulants, while not a cure, could help with the chemobrain. Again, things you should discuss with a psychiatric provider.
    Okay, so a bit of a story time. So, I was sick for a little while before I got diagnosed. When I first finally realized something was wrong, I had called my transplant team and asked if I could come in ASAP, and possibly get a CT(I know my body. I know when something is very wrong). And when I’ve had other things go wrong, calling my team and going through them helps me skip the hell that is Emergency.

    Well, little did I know that my usual nurse got promoted to another province and our transplant program was now bare bones and just for check ups. The new Nurse, who I’ll her “Lowe”, was now my main point of contact. I called her up and informed her of the pain, the lumps, the constant vomiting, lack of sleep, and the loss of 45 pounds. I told her how important it was that I see them. She responds with “If you want to be seen in clinic, you’ll have to wait till your Aug 24th(I think. It was end of August for sure and the current date was start of July.

    Anyways, a bunch of shit happens(if interested, read my blog posts. It’s a fucked up story) and I’m finally in hospital. I had like 95% Kidney and liver failure, lost 50 pounds, and my body had lymph nodes growing and ripping my Apart. I was told that me being alive in my state was nothing short of a miracle. While in hospital, waiting for my first dose of chemo(took two weeks to stabilize me before they could give me chemo). During those two weeks, I told every mother fucker who listened about how poorly my transplant team treated me.

    A few days after my first chemo. Lowe walks into my room(I’m reverse isolation. She didn’t gown up or anything), walks across my room, sits in a chair and says “Now, Myrrh, do you know why I’m here?”

    Let me point out. I HAVE NEVER MET THIS BITCH BEFORE. So I have no clue who she is. Finally. She starts talking and telling me who is she and why she’s there. She showed up at my room because my complaining about her and how she nearly killed me made its way to every department in the entire hospital. She only showed up to TELL me to stop telling people about that and then tried to blame it on me not being right in the head. I told her that if I wasn’t right in the head, then if this was to ever happen again, I would need her help to prevent it from getting this far. To which she says id “Myrrh, if you aren’t right in the head, you’ll have to take a step back and examine your life and determine you aren’t right in the head”
    LADIES AND GENTLEMAN SHE JUST SOLVED MENTAL ILLNESS.

    Anyways. She leaves and the next day at 7am, I am rudely awoken to a group of 6 people from the normal psych team. I believe it was 2 Psychiatrist, and 4 psychotherapists, or the other way around. I don’t remember the order. I ended up getting a 5 hour psych evaluation done because my shitty lung nurse was trying to save face.

    After that I switched to Cancer Cares team and spoke to 1 of each. Talking with one really helped but she couldn’t prescribe me anything, the other one refused to prescribe me anything because I got screwed over at an Emerg 5 hours after my cancer diagnosis and have now been labeled an “extreme risk” and “a drug seeker”. Again. The blog posts reveal a lot about that shit. Thus the “man it up” talk
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  15. #15
    Limecat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psion View Post
    I get the cramping thing too on occasion. I think it's a pretty normal thing, as far as I can tell. From what I've seen its usually from stretching to far, causing the muscle to go "wtf no" and cramp up to stop it.

    And yeah, "going back to what you were " isn't the mindset to focus on. Every moment we are changing- you can't go back. That old temple has been razed - rather than trying to recreate it perfectly and be constantly unsatisfied with the results not being quite right, look at this as an opportunity to reassess yourself. Figure out what you want to get better at and work toward it. The goal isn't "I want to be as sharp a thinker as I was before ", it should be " I want to improve my memory and focus" with an end goal that's not tied to the past.

    Look to tomorrow, not to yesterday, last the past ensnare you.
    I appreciate what you’re trying to convey but I was just more talking about having energy and being back at work. I greatly miss my job and even though my bosses said “take as long as you need. You’ll always have a job here”. I just miss that, is all. Believe me, I know how fucked my body and I’ll never be what I once was(though I’ll always be an idiot so, yay for consistency)
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    I have no background in medical and just personal experience. What do you drink? Do you move for five-ten minutes every hour? For the sleep, I know Benadryl is a haggard sleeping pill for some people (but it adds to the foggy brain and has been linked to Alzheimer's disease, so I would say dire situations and not daily). There's a home remedy by Zarbee's Naturals that has dark honey and ivy leaf that causes drowsiness (we use it for our kid when they are really sick and they sleep soundly after taking it). It's like a tea syrup. Have you tried meditation? Both low-key (just positions) and full blown sounds/smells/chants? Or true yoga (with instructors who take you on a journey with fight or flight trances)? I'm always here to chat, too. I have Discord and PS4. I know you're getting back into D2.

    Edit: Thinking on this more, try white noise, nature sounds, or Alpha/Beta/Delta/Gamma/Theta waves while sleeping/meditating. Try brain games (they have been debunked as to actually improve but worth a shot). Read. Learn a new language. It sounds weird but Duolingo is a free app and worth a shot.
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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myrrh_Quetz View Post
    I’ve tried various CBD and THC things. From edibles to “Phoenix Tears”, and even CBD bath bombs.

    I’ll be fully honest here. The best thing I had for pain and sleep was Ketamine. You might think I’m addicted or that sounds extreme but on the low dose I was on, it worked wonders. I would even go as far to say IT CURED MY PAIN. Sadly, though, with my city in a huge drug crisis that couldn’t keep me on it and it’s only covered if you’re palliative.



    I basically eat any and everything I can. Still a fun side effect of my Cystic Fibrosis. Ever since I’ve been in remission I actually gained over 60 pounds. For the first time in 30 years of my life, I weigh 200 pounds.





    Okay, so a bit of a story time. So, I was sick for a little while before I got diagnosed. When I first finally realized something was wrong, I had called my transplant team and asked if I could come in ASAP, and possibly get a CT(I know my body. I know when something is very wrong). And when I’ve had other things go wrong, calling my team and going through them helps me skip the hell that is Emergency.

    Well, little did I know that my usual nurse got promoted to another province and our transplant program was now bare bones and just for check ups. The new Nurse, who I’ll her “Lowe”, was now my main point of contact. I called her up and informed her of the pain, the lumps, the constant vomiting, lack of sleep, and the loss of 45 pounds. I told her how important it was that I see them. She responds with “If you want to be seen in clinic, you’ll have to wait till your Aug 24th(I think. It was end of August for sure and the current date was start of July.

    Anyways, a bunch of shit happens(if interested, read my blog posts. It’s a fucked up story) and I’m finally in hospital. I had like 95% Kidney and liver failure, lost 50 pounds, and my body had lymph nodes growing and ripping my Apart. I was told that me being alive in my state was nothing short of a miracle. While in hospital, waiting for my first dose of chemo(took two weeks to stabilize me before they could give me chemo). During those two weeks, I told every mother fucker who listened about how poorly my transplant team treated me.

    A few days after my first chemo. Lowe walks into my room(I’m reverse isolation. She didn’t gown up or anything), walks across my room, sits in a chair and says “Now, Myrrh, do you know why I’m here?”

    Let me point out. I HAVE NEVER MET THIS BITCH BEFORE. So I have no clue who she is. Finally. She starts talking and telling me who is she and why she’s there. She showed up at my room because my complaining about her and how she nearly killed me made its way to every department in the entire hospital. She only showed up to TELL me to stop telling people about that and then tried to blame it on me not being right in the head. I told her that if I wasn’t right in the head, then if this was to ever happen again, I would need her help to prevent it from getting this far. To which she says id “Myrrh, if you aren’t right in the head, you’ll have to take a step back and examine your life and determine you aren’t right in the head”
    LADIES AND GENTLEMAN SHE JUST SOLVED MENTAL ILLNESS.

    Anyways. She leaves and the next day at 7am, I am rudely awoken to a group of 6 people from the normal psych team. I believe it was 2 Psychiatrist, and 4 psychotherapists, or the other way around. I don’t remember the order. I ended up getting a 5 hour psych evaluation done because my shitty lung nurse was trying to save face.

    After that I switched to Cancer Cares team and spoke to 1 of each. Talking with one really helped but she couldn’t prescribe me anything, the other one refused to prescribe me anything because I got screwed over at an Emerg 5 hours after my cancer diagnosis and have now been labeled an “extreme risk” and “a drug seeker”. Again. The blog posts reveal a lot about that shit. Thus the “man it up” talk
    So, a few things here.

    First, that transplant nurse was incredibly negligent and you should have immediately reported her conduct to the patient rep. They take these things very very seriously. Maybe nothing would've ultimately came of it, but they aren't going to risk multiple ethics, HIPAA, and harassment complaints from their point of contact for transplants patients. And if she has a history of this, it throws more logs onto the fire. If you feel your care is ever inappropriate, request a patient rep. Their job is to listen to you and address your concerns.

    Next. The psych providers you had seen in the hospital just treated your hospital condition. It doesn't sound like they were interested in following up, sothey must've have cleared you and signed off the case. So it's on you to ask for a psych referral from your primary care physician for outpatient visits. I would strongly suggest you do this.

    Lastly, the drug seeking behavior and high risk stuff. There's no real flag for this in medical charting. For obvious reasons. It would be really fucking stupid to chart someone is seeking drugs, as the fallout if lawsuit were to happen would be incredible to witness in a courtroom. So I wouldn't make much of this label you think you have. Providers can look at your narcotic usage history. If you have a lot of hospital visits requiring little medical care and lots of opioid orders, physicians can see that. But it's not blatantly spread across the chart and hard labeled.
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  18. #18
    Limecat
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    Two things.

    1: I absolutely fucking reported that Nurse, aswell as the Nurse and Doctor who kicked me out of emerg for "Drug seeking behavior". As I currently know it, the nurse named "Lowe" was fired from her position about 2 months after my "incident" with her. Also, I usually record all my interactions with medical professionals, but her showing up in my room, randomly, caught me off guard and I didn't get to record it. Had I done it, that would have been 100% perfect evidence for a law suit.

    2, I saw my medical chart. There is a huge red lettering thing that says "Drug Seeking Behavior" and i'm currently fighting with the emerg that put it on there to remove it.

    I'm also looking for a 3rd party Psych Doc but the problem comes down to days that I feel like shit and can barely move, outweigh the days I'm able to function. I'm trying to balance shit the best I can with what I have.

    oh and remember, I'm Canadian whose province is going with the logic of "Well, if we shut down all Emergency rooms, there won't be any wait times"


    Oh and just more proof about how the "Drug Seeking Behavior" thing fucked me. Before Cancer care took over for pain, every day I was in the hospital(It was two weeks before Cancer care took over), pain clinic would come to my room at 6-7am. Lecture me about my chart and then threaten to cut me off, cold turkey. Every day, for two weeks, they did this. If I didn't have such supportive nurses in the Hospital who fought very hard for me to have pain killers, Pain Clinic might have succeeded. Just hearing that pain clinic was on the ward would send me into panic attacks and crying fits. Even at the start, then the Doctors knew exactly what kind of cancer I had(High Grade, Stage 4, B-cell Non-Hodgkins, Lymphoma. And they were certain at the start that I had "Double hit" or something to that affect, they also thought it spread to my Spine and Brain so those were fun tests to get done.)
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  19. #19
    Limecat
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    Oh, a neat life hack that I learned.

    Spoiler: show
    Just don't get Cancer.
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  20. #20
    The Optimistic Asshole
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    Damn, Canada healthcare is weird as fuck. I didn't realize you lived there. I have no idea how that operates. And you're allowed to record medical staff? That's wild. Anyway, needing to see psych outpatient on a regular basis should be a priority. They should be able to help with the PTSD, sleep, nightmares, and chemobrain issues.
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