BG Confessional

[Milkster]

Couple's counseling and if your partner is then unwilling to put in the effort, you can stay and hope it changes but it rarely does or being to leave.

Also rule out any medical reasons that could be causing a change or negatively affecting them.

[Fondue]

Dam rora
Getting a dog has been a huge strain on our relationship because the dog is extremely leash reactive and we live in a shitty spot. We can't find a house and I can't hardly get my wife to go out with the dog and I because he acts rabid if another dog triggers him. Im getting a little tired of taking him for hikes alone

[S N K]

looks like it was just an infraction from isla, dunno if that meant a suspension at the time too

Isa slapped me with one also for making fun of Toth years ago. Mind you I'm black but yeah using the N word even as a joke was ban worthy. lol

[Salodin]

man.. our relationship is falling (has fallen) apart and i'm having a hard time coping lately

i feel like the only one trying, always having to persuade participation just to talk about anything meaningful or difficult

There's plenty of things you can try, which I'm sure you're aware of and tired of hearing someone else say, so the only thing I'll add is don't ever forget that it takes two, and if you're putting forth all this effort but she refuses to, then maybe it's not you and it's just her. But that's okay! Sometimes these things happen and it's better to know what's what and where you stand versus being unsure, unhappy, and trying in vain for months or years.

Be honest with yourself, and once that's done try and get her to be honest with you. Don't spend time fixing something that half the party isn't interested in fixing.

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[Anoat]

Relationships are like farts

If you have to force it, then it’s probably shit

[Roranora]

you ever think about how you'd kill yourself? seems messy

even at worst, it seems perhaps preferable to live life hollowed out and empty. i do suppose there could be joy again but it feels so distant as to be nearly unimaginable

i can't even begin to think about how we could split up. like it's not just the relationship, we'd lose the home--basically all that i work for for 60 hours and 6 days a week--our family's stability, and a safe home for our 2-year old son

i couldn't afford another home, and right now she probably couldn't even afford an apartment

[Andalusian girls]

oh Rora my sweet tropical sunfish

couple's therapy is prolly the road to hoe if she's willing. if she's not able or not willing to change you, i think, already know what should be done.

starting over is a daunting prospect, a daunting reality, but speaking as a child of an unhappy marriage that went into divorce you are doing your son no favors staying together in a broken husk of a relationship where the parents are incapable of even feeling joy.

financials are obviously important, a house is nice, but they are not a life. you can't offer up your future, well-being, and happiness at the altar of keeping a house my friend. starting over indeed sucks, but trite or not sometimes it is the only way to get someplace better. you deserve better than hypothesizing about suicide on a Final Fantasy forum because your marriage makes you so unhappy.

[Day]

Couple's counseling and if your partner is then unwilling to put in the effort, you can stay and hope it changes but it rarely does or being to leave.

Also rule out any medical reasons that could be causing a change or negatively affecting them.

worst person you know meme

love you rora

[Salodin]

you ever think about how you'd kill yourself? seems messy

even at worst, it seems perhaps preferable to live life hollowed out and empty. i do suppose there could be joy again but it feels so distant as to be nearly unimaginable

i can't even begin to think about how we could split up. like it's not just the relationship, we'd lose the home--basically all that i work for for 60 hours and 6 days a week--our family's stability, and a safe home for our 2-year old son

i couldn't afford another home, and right now she probably couldn't even afford an apartment

After reading this I think I'd try the counseling, even if it's something neither of you have done before or know about. First child? Overworked to provide for your family? The story sounds ripe for life stresses to ruin your relationship even if the love is still there, do try and seek some help if both of you still love each other but are operating at different wavelengths. Maybe you're both just stressed out parents and are neglecting things both of you didn't realize you were. I wish you the best homey

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[Salodin]

Also yeah I've "thought" of suicide before, but it never lasted longer than a moment no matter how bad the situation was. More like a "this is so bad I could kill myself" and a moment later I realize that no actually, it's not that bad and I shouldn't harm myself.

Idk if that's normal, bad, or how far along those thoughts someone who is actually suicidal gets before they decide not to do it, or how far along in thoughts they get before they actually do it. I've never cut myself or done any type of self harm, so I assume I shouldn't be concerned at the occasional stray thought

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[Zealot]

I've thought about other people committing suicide.

This sounds really tough Rora, I hope there's a way to work through it.

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[Milkster]

you ever think about how you'd kill yourself? seems messy

even at worst, it seems perhaps preferable to live life hollowed out and empty. i do suppose there could be joy again but it feels so distant as to be nearly unimaginable

i can't even begin to think about how we could split up. like it's not just the relationship, we'd lose the home--basically all that i work for for 60 hours and 6 days a week--our family's stability, and a safe home for our 2-year old son

i couldn't afford another home, and right now she probably couldn't even afford an apartment

I think about it every day from passive suicidal ideation to actively attempting suicide. Sounds like you're depressed and over worked and she's probably feeling neglected or some effects of post partum. When was your last date night or vacation (vacations are not family trips)

[Roranora]

thanks dudes, i love you all

we're trying therapy starting next week. this god damn portal has declined three appt times after showing them available for request. hopefully this one gets confirmed here soon

[Milkster]

You both should also do individual therapy as well.

[NynJa]

Have you tried having sex with someone elses wife?

[NynJa]

Oh wait, something tells me I didnt read the room properly here.

[Roranora]

at least i'm pretty isolated working on my own and outside all day. it makes the periodic weeping less shameful

[Salodin]

Don't use d2r to hide from your problems either! Were too old for that shit unlike the ffxi days lol

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[Roranora]

oh don't worry about that part at least, i have gamed for 0 hours many days the last few years ensuring i keep all the bills paid and our credit scores excellent and other times to ensure we have some time together

i'll never again be as unencumbered as a single college student to no-show a finals week and hit pause on that engineering degree in order to focus on my black mage. and even that had to conclude before too much life damage happened

[Xno Kappa]

You know got us here for you rora. Sorry about your situation bro.