BG Confessional

[Day]

hang in there brother dont let these hoes get you down

[Rhyis.]

if my little brother didn't move in at my apartment a year ago i'd probably be going nuts during this time frame. its amazing what an immensely stupid daily conversation can do for your mental health

[Andalusian girls]

have you considered not being depressed Mert

[Andalusian girls]

ps i like you we read the same books and sometimes you quote sad Hemingway

[Salodin]

I'll play apex, overwatch, or heroes of the storm with you mert

Also maybe overcooked, but that game is rough man

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[Salodin]

Please don't kill yourself mert you're one of the good ones

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[archibaldcrane]

it’s a catch 22, because i have gone out a couple times this past week after being a good little shut-in the last two months, but again, the entire time i am out i am convinced people hate me, which just makes it worse

I know it’s probably in my head, but I’m just fucked up right now

You're like the best poster on BG so if your depression means you do more of that then I'm team depression

[Boyiee]

You're like the best poster on BG so if your depression means you do more of that then I'm team depression

It's true, go team sad

[Xno Kappa]

Starting GoW right off the bat with GMGOW has hurt my pride.

[Andalusian girls]

outside of some of the boss fights / difficulty challenges the beginning of GMGOW is the hardest part, you are are just too weak to deal with swarms of Draugr. still have nightmares about that fucking pit.

[Salodin]

The beginning of that game is paced weird, or it was the directors intent to make it feel like a slow crawl until mid game when it suddenly feels very very different. Not saying it's bad though, but yeah those first few hours are rough even on lower difficulties until you get all your jazz

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[Dimmauk]

i have been having a miserable time of late

i never really think of myself as someone who suffers from depression, I just think life sucks sometimes and am sad. every now and then though it gets to the point of actually feeling ill and physically affecting me, and i am at that point now. my friends noted the other day that i look good and have lost weight/been working out, which is true, but it is mostly because i am down to one meal a day, which i only eat so i do not drop dead; i only eat out of habit

part of this is because of quarantine im sure. i feel like no one misses me or wants me around. ive always wondered why people bother with me anyway, as i feel like my group of friends only hang out with me sometimes out of habit, and I am not sure what i even contribute to the group sometimes. now basically sitting at home all day i feel completely invisible. sure we do zoom stuff sometimes, but not often (maybe like three times since this all started), but as soon as we are done i feel like I no longer exist to them

what has made matters worse is my closest friend had his dad pass away about two weeks ago (not rona related). a girl i used to date was in town for the funeral and asked me to hang out with her the other night (for the discord people that remember, this is the ex that was in town for xmas and stood me up). she was upset about the funeral and wanted to talk. it led to more, but then the next day she basically gave me the cold shoulder all morning, blew me off when i texted her that day to see if she was okay, and i bumped in to her at a gathering for Memorial Day where she refused to speak to me and then tried to throw herself at an acquaintance of mine (who has a girlfriend and had to push her away). this has not done wonders for my self esteem

i feel like i can’t bring this up with my close friend, who is one of the only people who knows about us (we kept our dating secret because we have a lot of mutual friends, or maybe she just wanted that because she’s ashamed of me), because his dad died and i will look like a bitch for complaining about it to someone who has actual problems. part of me is paranoid because at the gathering i kept convincing myself that people must have found out what happened because i felt like some people didn’t care that i was there (though as I said before, i feel like this a lot of the time anyway). the two times my friends have had small in-person gatherings i have left early because i feel like no one cares i am there anyway, and also because my chest hurts from the anxiety and sadness

Today is Memorial Day, so I drove down to see my family (i see my parents every so often since they’re close to my part time job; this was the first time i saw my sister’s family in two months). Along with not eating well, I have not been sleeping well either: last night i fell asleep at 11:30, woke up at 2:30, then laid in bed until noon to head out. i ate one burger, promptly felt nauseous and tired, laid on their couch for an hour in a pity coma, then told them i had to leave because i didn’t feel well

i feel completely terrible all the time, though i do feel slightly better typing this. but i feel like an absolute waste of a human being, am convinced that i suck and no one cares about me, that my life is a joke, and that everything about me is a complete failure

tldr: i am convinced that everyone i know hates me and it hurts

anyway back to shitposting

dak prescott sucks

I feel you man. This shutdown has fucked me up and it's not getting better. People are now out doing things I want to do. I've always felt a FOMO about most things, but now seeing people on beaches and at bars, is double frustrating. I generally dislike most of my family and getting together with them just a reminder of my shitty childhood and how shitty they still are. Its absolutely draining.

We all need things to get back to normal.

[Dimmauk]

Also, cowboys suck. And LOL at their new red headed clapper.

[Cail]

The Eagles won the Superb Owl

[Cail]

Also hopping on board team depression. Hurt my knee back in January. Turned out I tore my meniscus and need surgery. After 2 months of waiting for approval from workers comp, it finally got approved and it is in 2 weeks. At work, you get 120 days of light duty and that ran out on May 5th so I've been out of work for 3 weeks at home. I have like, 3 or 4 friends that text me. Thats it since then. And then last night, one of those friends texted me and asked if I was going to another mutual friends (of those 3 or 4 as well) house for a small party/gathering. I told her that the other friend hadnt texted me in a few days and got the reply back "oooooops" so yea that was fun.

I feel you on the feeling invisible part with the injury going on. Bored as shit, nothing to do, cant go do anything, and no one to talk to. Fucking sucks

[Rhyis.]

And LOL at their new red headed clapper.

jerry has a quota to fufill having a ginger on the team

[Zealot]

I love isolation and I don't want it to end.

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[Demosthenes]

i have been having a miserable time of late

i never really think of myself as someone who suffers from depression, I just think life sucks sometimes and am sad. every now and then though it gets to the point of actually feeling ill and physically affecting me, and i am at that point now. my friends noted the other day that i look good and have lost weight/been working out, which is true, but it is mostly because i am down to one meal a day, which i only eat so i do not drop dead; i only eat out of habit

part of this is because of quarantine im sure. i feel like no one misses me or wants me around. ive always wondered why people bother with me anyway, as i feel like my group of friends only hang out with me sometimes out of habit, and I am not sure what i even contribute to the group sometimes. now basically sitting at home all day i feel completely invisible. sure we do zoom stuff sometimes, but not often (maybe like three times since this all started), but as soon as we are done i feel like I no longer exist to them

what has made matters worse is my closest friend had his dad pass away about two weeks ago (not rona related). a girl i used to date was in town for the funeral and asked me to hang out with her the other night (for the discord people that remember, this is the ex that was in town for xmas and stood me up). she was upset about the funeral and wanted to talk. it led to more, but then the next day she basically gave me the cold shoulder all morning, blew me off when i texted her that day to see if she was okay, and i bumped in to her at a gathering for Memorial Day where she refused to speak to me and then tried to throw herself at an acquaintance of mine (who has a girlfriend and had to push her away). this has not done wonders for my self esteem

i feel like i can’t bring this up with my close friend, who is one of the only people who knows about us (we kept our dating secret because we have a lot of mutual friends, or maybe she just wanted that because she’s ashamed of me), because his dad died and i will look like a bitch for complaining about it to someone who has actual problems. part of me is paranoid because at the gathering i kept convincing myself that people must have found out what happened because i felt like some people didn’t care that i was there (though as I said before, i feel like this a lot of the time anyway). the two times my friends have had small in-person gatherings i have left early because i feel like no one cares i am there anyway, and also because my chest hurts from the anxiety and sadness

Today is Memorial Day, so I drove down to see my family (i see my parents every so often since they’re close to my part time job; this was the first time i saw my sister’s family in two months). Along with not eating well, I have not been sleeping well either: last night i fell asleep at 11:30, woke up at 2:30, then laid in bed until noon to head out. i ate one burger, promptly felt nauseous and tired, laid on their couch for an hour in a pity coma, then told them i had to leave because i didn’t feel well

i feel completely terrible all the time, though i do feel slightly better typing this. but i feel like an absolute waste of a human being, am convinced that i suck and no one cares about me, that my life is a joke, and that everything about me is a complete failure

tldr: i am convinced that everyone i know hates me and it hurts

anyway back to shitposting

dak prescott sucks

Talk to a professional. It will do you good.

[D44kpunk]

As an easily hateable person, I highly doubt anyone hates you mert. You seem like the type of person literally anyone could get along with / have fun with

[Milkster]

i have been having a miserable time of late

i never really think of myself as someone who suffers from depression, I just think life sucks sometimes and am sad. every now and then though it gets to the point of actually feeling ill and physically affecting me, and i am at that point now. my friends noted the other day that i look good and have lost weight/been working out, which is true, but it is mostly because i am down to one meal a day, which i only eat so i do not drop dead; i only eat out of habit

part of this is because of quarantine im sure. i feel like no one misses me or wants me around. ive always wondered why people bother with me anyway, as i feel like my group of friends only hang out with me sometimes out of habit, and I am not sure what i even contribute to the group sometimes. now basically sitting at home all day i feel completely invisible. sure we do zoom stuff sometimes, but not often (maybe like three times since this all started), but as soon as we are done i feel like I no longer exist to them

what has made matters worse is my closest friend had his dad pass away about two weeks ago (not rona related). a girl i used to date was in town for the funeral and asked me to hang out with her the other night (for the discord people that remember, this is the ex that was in town for xmas and stood me up). she was upset about the funeral and wanted to talk. it led to more, but then the next day she basically gave me the cold shoulder all morning, blew me off when i texted her that day to see if she was okay, and i bumped in to her at a gathering for Memorial Day where she refused to speak to me and then tried to throw herself at an acquaintance of mine (who has a girlfriend and had to push her away). this has not done wonders for my self esteem

i feel like i can’t bring this up with my close friend, who is one of the only people who knows about us (we kept our dating secret because we have a lot of mutual friends, or maybe she just wanted that because she’s ashamed of me), because his dad died and i will look like a bitch for complaining about it to someone who has actual problems. part of me is paranoid because at the gathering i kept convincing myself that people must have found out what happened because i felt like some people didn’t care that i was there (though as I said before, i feel like this a lot of the time anyway). the two times my friends have had small in-person gatherings i have left early because i feel like no one cares i am there anyway, and also because my chest hurts from the anxiety and sadness

Today is Memorial Day, so I drove down to see my family (i see my parents every so often since they’re close to my part time job; this was the first time i saw my sister’s family in two months). Along with not eating well, I have not been sleeping well either: last night i fell asleep at 11:30, woke up at 2:30, then laid in bed until noon to head out. i ate one burger, promptly felt nauseous and tired, laid on their couch for an hour in a pity coma, then told them i had to leave because i didn’t feel well

i feel completely terrible all the time, though i do feel slightly better typing this. but i feel like an absolute waste of a human being, am convinced that i suck and no one cares about me, that my life is a joke, and that everything about me is a complete failure

tldr: i am convinced that everyone i know hates me and it hurts

anyway back to shitposting

dak prescott sucks

You should a psychiatrist and talk with them about medication.

So Depression is the nagging voice of self doubt and worthlessness. It's always there the challenge is fighting it with logical thoughts because most of depression and anxiety stems from uncontrolled stream of consciousness and disordered thinking.

First off, if people are inviting you with them. They don't hate you. If people talk to you, they don't hate you. Letting one shitty person create the thought process that everyone hates you is just the mental illness and letting it take root is never good. Ask yourself if what you're thinking is true. Have I experienced things that reinforce the thoughts I'm having. Am I over exaggerating these things because I'm feeling lonely or because of my current mood.

We all have traumas and events in our lives we deal with. I'm sure your friend would want to know how you're doing and you're not a burden on a friend for telling them you're having a rough go of it. Downplaying the importance of your issues and problems is the depression and amplifying your feelings of worthlessness.