Inc wall o' text.
Dear Draylo and friends. This thread is not about you. It's a fucking disgrace that this thread is being shitted up by all of this nonsense.
That applies to everyone trying to pile on. Cut. The. Shit. Out.
This is for something far more important than all the bickering going on in here.
So please, move to another thread, send private messages, SOMETHING.
It was mildly frustrating before, now I'm flat out angry. What changed? Well, bare with me here...
A couple of days ago I finally watched the ENTIRE video of Floyd's death. I had only watched a few minutes of it prior, enough to see how fucked up it was, or so I thought.
What I missed, was the part where he's crying for his momma. Now, it was disturbing to me before, but god damn this crushed my fucking soul. I always try to think about what it's like to be in someone's shoes. Given my privilege, I've never been able to fully understand the pain of those discriminated against. This was unique and forever changed me, because I had a distinct connection to that scenario.
As many of you are aware, I almost died this past November. It was from a simple medical emergency, not some racist piece of shit crushing my neck. I started to black out at the hospital and only remember 2 things at this point: calling for my mom and knowing I was going to die. I've never told a soul this because it's something you just can't articulate. It was absolutely the most terrifying moment of my life.
That part, I feel. I have literally felt that pain. But for it to be caused by a FUCKING POLICE OFFICER is a level of confusion and pain I absolutely can not fathom. For that man to know he was dying while people watched on.. while police held him there.. another human being slowly murdering him in plain sight. Christ. His mind had to be racing. Why? Why is this happening? Why isn't someone helping? My daughter..(I have a 6 year old daughter as well, another connection), my mother...help, someone please help.
I have broken down crying over half dozen times trying to imagine that. Not afraid to admit it. And I'm not the emotional type. I now have a seething rage and pain inside of me that I know can't even begin to touch on what minorities feel, and it's still overwhelming. I just can't comprehend living in so much fear, because I've never had to.
My ancestry is "black Irish," a recent slang term for Irish mixed with Scandinavian and iberian peninsula because we have very dark skin, but there's no doubt I'm white. My dad looks middle eastern, so he's dealt with stupid shit here and there, but nothing big.
The reason I bring this up is because I lied about quite a bit of that shit when I was trolling YCS. I understand I can still be banned for it, but this is more important. Guys, I fabricated so much shit during that time to troll, and while it was some next level shit that got eaten up, I think it's time I come clean on that, so that you know my true perspective, my privileged perspective.
Now, I have to DO more. My mother is babysitting for me tomorrow so I can join the protest in Raleigh. My wife thinks I'm crazy and doesn't want me to go because "it's too dangerous and you have a 6 year old daughter to worry about." Yeah, so did Floyd. It ain't much, but it's a start.
That's what we need here on the small scale, a start. Stop insulting each other and START a dialogue. A real one. If you can't handle it properly, get the fuck out. Seriously. Mods, do your fucking job. Clean the trash out of here.
That goes both ways. You want to attack people like Draylo? Do it somewhere else. You want to defend Draylo? Do it somewhere else.
Let's attack and defend issues, not people. That's a MASSIVE ask on these boards, I know, but someone has to say it. Now we all need to do it. Please.
Thanks if you actually read this entire post. It's the most honest and genuine thing I've ever dropped here. So please try to keep it civil if you disagree with anything I have to say here. I'm more than happy to discuss any of it. And mods, if you have to retro ban me for the trolling, I understand.
There's so much more I want to touch on, but this post is long enough as is and I'm still having difficulty gathering my thoughts.
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