I don't like the name of this thread: giraffes

[Xno Kappa]

Don’t fucking do it unless it’s a genuine commitment.

[Salodin]

1. There is NO contextualizing. If you're not happy, you're not happy. If no woman makes you happy, then you shouldn't be with any woman.
2. If he were to be bullheaded about it and stick with her, despite not being into her/being happy with her, having a fucking kid is ABSOLUTELY not the thing to do.

What the fuck is wrong with you man?

It's not solving a problem by having a kid, it's recognizing that he just doesn't get excited about talking about his partner the way you do. Not everyone loves or cares the same way, and just cause he isn't doing a song or dance about his partner doesn't mean he needs to wait for that elation before settling down. It might never happen like that because he doesn't have that personality; that doesn't mean he deserves to be lonely or childless his entire life. Allegedly, because I don't know him well enough to know if he's just a reserved individual or someone who is genuinely just not that into her. I have never seen him post in extreme excitement about any woman, ever. Even the fit girls milk be posting doesn't get him super animated.

What is wrong with you, why are you allergic to context and nuance?

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[Demosthenes]

If you don't love your partner, what's the fucking point? This isn't ambivalence (which is also not ok), he's basically if not outright stated that sometimes he doesn't want to go home because that's where she is, so maybe you're the one allergic to context and nuance. He's also brought up depression, which can be a massive factor. I hope you and your partner continue to love the shit out of each other until you die, but holy fuck man, your relationships takes are fucking dumb.

[Salodin]

I'd rather not put words in his mouth, make poor assumptions, and just wait until he tells me how he feels. Because, again, I do not fear nuance and context. I have also never heard, from this man halfway through his life, of any prior relationship where he is super excited to share about his relationship. I guess he should just fuck off and be alone his entire life.

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[Tyrath]

Just settle. Always the best advice for life.

[Anoat]

Just settle. Always the best advice for life.

It’s what I’m counting on these broads to settle with me now that they are 40+ and I am in my glow up phase

[Demosthenes]

I actually pay attention to what he writes because I consider him a friend outside of the confines of the internet. While we don't talk much, I give two shits about how shit is going for him. That said, my perception is that your position on relationships is underdeveloped.
1. Being in a relationship and feeling alone is worse than actually just being alone.
2. There is nothing wrong with being alone.
3. Being alone doesn't mean the same thing as feeling alone.
4. You shouldn't rely on getting a partner being a/the solution to your problems, that's incel logic.

[Tyrath]

It’s what I’m counting on these broads to settle with me now that they are 40+ and I am in my glow up phase

You're in luck, women settle more than men.

[Anoat]

Also, when asked if he actually liked this woman his response was not a resounding yes or even a yes at all, it was this.

I mean, she's always been good to me.

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So I’m on the side of saying…yeah, probably having a kid with her is a bad idea.

[Demosthenes]

Also, when asked if he actually liked this woman his response was not a resounding yes or even a yes at all, it was this.



So I’m on the side of saying…yeah, probably having a kid with her is a bad idea.

Maybe he's a boomer at heart and just enjoys telling I hate my wife jokes?

[Zealot]

There was one girl I was really head over heels in love with and we did date for awhile on two occasions. The first time she ended it because she said she just didn't feel the same way I did, the second time I ended it because it was years later and we had just grown into different people.

There was one other woman I had made up my mind I was going to propose to. I was in law school about 5 hours away and we had been dating for 3 years at that point. There was another woman making her interest in me known and I decided "you know what, I'm not gonna pursue this, and if I'm not gonna do anything with a chick who's right here because of my relationship, then I feel strongly enough about this relationship to make it my last one." I found out about 2 weeks later she was cheating on me.

My girlfriend now is fine. Trying to separate my own personal irritations from how I feel about her has been a struggle. She was there for me during an incredibly difficult 2 years when I lost my job to restructuring and my home to a fire. I think it's reasonable for her to expect certain things in return.

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[Demosthenes]

She expects your love, not a facsimile of what it should look like.

[Anoat]

Maybe when you are in a better financial position (maybe you already are?) you can cut her a check for her support if you feel she is owed. Having a baby with a woman you by your own admission is “just fine” because you feel you owe her is a bad fucking idea, man. Babies are not transactional. It’s a fucking living person and lifetime commitment to the child and possible permanent entanglements with a woman you don’t love.

[Salodin]

Of course she should expect it, but that's irrelevant. We're worried about you homey, not her.

I get the inkling that you'd prefer to marry a woman that made you feel at least as good as, if not more than, how your ex made you feel that one time many years ago. And that's not an unreasonable ask. You can feel head over heels for a person, and you aren't now. That doesn't mean this woman isn't a match or is bad for you, you just have expectations and that's okay to have. Maybe she's the right person at the wrong time, idk. I wouldn't marry her in your shoes though.

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[Demosthenes]

You ought to have a frank discussion with her. There is a minute chance she'll go "yeah, that's ok, but I still wanna be fucking you, sleeping in the same bed and doing shit around you, if you want that without the emotional intensity, let's keep going." Doubtful, but you never know.

[kuronosan]

How does the idea of having children with her feel to you?

How does the idea of spending the rest of your life with her feel?

Would you be happy with both, one, or neither outcome?

Your answer to those questions will tell you what you want to do.

[Milkster]

There was one girl I was really head over heels in love with and we did date for awhile on two occasions. The first time she ended it because she said she just didn't feel the same way I did, the second time I ended it because it was years later and we had just grown into different people.

There was one other woman I had made up my mind I was going to propose to. I was in law school about 5 hours away and we had been dating for 3 years at that point. There was another woman making her interest in me known and I decided "you know what, I'm not gonna pursue this, and if I'm not gonna do anything with a chick who's right here because of my relationship, then I feel strongly enough about this relationship to make it my last one." I found out about 2 weeks later she was cheating on me.

My girlfriend now is fine. Trying to separate my own personal irritations from how I feel about her has been a struggle. She was there for me during an incredibly difficult 2 years when I lost my job to restructuring and my home to a fire. I think it's reasonable for her to expect certain things in return.

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When's the last time you did something for you? Something that you wanted? When's the last time you went on a vacation or traveled that wasn't for a family obligation or commitment. You're on the come up in life and you should embrace entering your daddy era single for awhile and finding out who you are at this point in life. Because honestly, it feels, from your posts, you're depressed and just letting life happen to you right now. You were excited about Meet Cute but haven't heard about that in a while.

[Salodin]

Because honestly, it feels, from your posts, your depressed and just letting life happen to you right now.

Facts. Sincerely zealot, love ya and you do you homey.

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[Milkster]

https://x.com/lporiginalg/status/200...9Wps1Hl11Rk-Sw

The scream I scrumpt

[Anoat]

Man you overhear a lot of neighboring conversations while standing in line at Disney World but this one from earlier might be my favorite ever. Two early 30s gals are dishing about one of their mutual friends. They are doing the thing where they are talking so fast that they are interrupting each other’s stories. They start talking about their mutual friend’s failed relationship with her ex. It’s become evident the second gal hasn’t spoken to the mutual in a while when the first one starts talking about how the ex became physically abusive, they reconciled and got back together for a time, but aren’t together anymore. Before gal 1 can explain why they are no longer together, gal 2 is still getting fired up about how she took him back briefly.

Gal 2: “Let me guess, oh he changed…no better yet, he found Jesus, right? So stereotypical.”

Gal 1: “Well, in a way, yes. He died.”