Random Fail III: I Can't Come Up With A Title Right Now: Cantih Title Credit Edition

[Melena]

Got three tickets for disturbed in Vegas. Due to finances, astylla and her friend couldn't go.

Went to resell, and due to an EDM festival and Katy Perry both performing tonight, tickets sold like shit and they massively dropped prices to sell out.

Only problem is they won't let you resell for less than what you paid.

AXS can eat a bag of dicks

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[Tyche]

My wife (Chemotherapy nurse) has had two patients getting treatment that she graduated with and she has not handled it well. I would imagine when you hit the age where your peers/siblings start dying off regularly, it has to feel like continuous devastation.

I got a two-fer today. Friday night, my ex-wife's parents got wiped out by a tornado. Lost their house, a massive farm shop with a lot of old specialized equipment and custom tooling that cannot be repurchased, and a horse barn (horses were not home). They live against a large WMA (wildlife management area). You can see in the photos that it literally cleared a forest. It's devastating, I've known my ex-inlaws longer than my ex-wife. They're genuinely good people who I was around A LOT as a child...before I married their daughter.

Which brings me to my current in-law. I fucking HATE this bitch. We had my son's 2nd birthday party today and we had two families worth of people there. My MILs other daughters drove in from across the state. I was blowing up a giant mickey mouse balloon, and it had a very unfortunate location for the air valve....between the legs, looked like a penis. I made a dick joke because it's mandatory. She says "just tape it back like the trannies". I have a transgender son, and she knows that. She's also a ride or die conservative and conspiracy theorist, despite not having an education and working at JC Penny's her whole life. Chemtrails, vaccines cause autism (the birthday boy likely has autism, but official workup next month), etc. She didn't mean it in anyway other than to demean. I have a really bad temper when it comes to shitting on those that are different for no other reason than that fact. It's especially bad when it involves children. It's blood red rage when it involves my children. I tried to stay cool, I pulled my wife outside and told her she needs to tell her mom to leave and not come back, while in front of her other daughters and my family who were all clueless because they were not in the room. Her mom had no idea what she did either. Had to be reminded of the hateful shit she has said because it's so fucking natural for her. Thankfully, she left without incident or argument.

[Salodin]

Got three tickets for disturbed in Vegas. Due to finances, astylla and her friend couldn't go.

Went to resell, and due to an EDM festival and Katy Perry both performing tonight, tickets sold like shit and they massively dropped prices to sell out.

Only problem is they won't let you resell for less than what you paid.

AXS can eat a bag of dicks

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I went to this concert last month. Was a blast!

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[kuronosan]

Good God Tyche, I'm sorry.

[Tyche]

Yeah, it's bad. So much lost history. So much stuff that had little monetary value, but impossible to replace. My ex's dad and stepmom were def top 5 of all my inlaws I've had in 2 marriages.

The worst, well, that's current MIL. Like, everyone has known for literally years that it was just a matter of time. She's an embarrassment to her family. She managed to raise 3 of the most impressive women Ive ever had the pleasure of knowing. I don't get it. They tell me this all began after Obama and she was a generic boomer pro-union liberal before that. But anyway, been a long time coming. We have an INCREDIBLY diverse family, in such ways that MAGA Republicans fucking hate. A lesbian, FtM son, autistic toddler, another son with long hair to midway down his neck and getting longer.

The kid she does like us my very basic whiteboy middle school son who had friends that turned his Google algorithms into a fucking right wing circus before I figured out what was happening and slowly drag his ass back to the correct side of history. He's also probably my most intelligent child and his older sister is 100% going to be a pharmacist. Straight As, and he doesn't know it, but he's about to get student of the year for the second year in a row in a school he's been at for 2 years. Fuck this child is infuriating. What do you do with a golden child...who may have a little Nazi in him? I kid. Maybe.

[Byrthnoth]

Nazism is currently counterculture because parents hate this one weird trick

[kuronosan]

Should have just told her "Sorry, not taking advice on how to blow someone from a lady who couldn't get a cucumber off."

[arus2001]

A rabid conservative winding up with a bunch of children on the opposite end of the spectrum doesn't surprise me all that much. That sort of exposure, even if more subdued in the past, no doubt played an influence in their own perception of the world and they rightfully concluded they don't want to be like their parent(s). It's probably most visible in religious escapees, but yeah.

As for the son, it is unfortunately a demographic the right is aggressively targeting. Algorithmic bias, 4chan, twitter, other social media, people like Tate, Gamergate and general gaming incels, kiwifarms, numerous streamers/youtubers, meme culture, and more are all there 24/7 with the added bonus of outside forces escalating it all because it's working and the US has actively suppressed leftward messaging in counter. At they very least, though, you give me the vibe you're not ignorant about all that based on poopdeck observations. It's just a hard battle because you can't be with him all the time and it's likely his peers are also (unknowingly) feeding the propaganda. The best you can do is love with limits, but much like with your wife and her sisters, the inverse is true a family member could be pushed rightward under the proper conditions even without all of what's going on on the outside. It's frankly one of the reasons I have no inclination to reproduce with how blah the world feels today. So I can at least have empathy for the parents trying to do it right.

[Byrthnoth]

tbf when my wife and I found out we were having a daughter we were both pumped. She basically asked me if I was faking my enthusiasm later and I was like "no, it's a terrible time to be raising a boy." She brushed it off at the time like "girls have problems too" but came back six months later saying something like "oh yeah, actually it really is a terrible time to be raising a boy."

[Roranora]

a personal and social fail. fuckin' emails, man

A beloved friendship is seemingly over now, although I refer to her as a friend here. My friend is suffering in an abusive marriage; they have 2 kids, 7 & 3. Abusive, controlling, for 10-12 years now or more. However slowly or insidiously it happened, it's here now. She cannot even run errands without being location stalked, harassed, and ordered around like Cinderella. The digital control is perhaps fairly advanced with keylogging and other tracking she or we may not fully understand.

I don't presume to know the full breadth of the situation. Also he may be violent. And there's at least 1 gun in the house.

Realizing this info last week triggered a new defensiveness and caution around them I didn't have before last Friday afternoon. I don't need to take my kid or anyone else's kids over to their house ever again. I told her this in an email. [Email isn't often an effective form of communication, generally for me. Situationally great, sure. But still often poor.]

Using and immediately deleting emails is her preferred strategy to tip-toe around danger man, apparently. We would text and call but only rarely and briefly; it was implied he reads texts, call logs, etc. This man does not help caretake, does not help homemake, and does not help with pet care. He works; that's it. And largely from home.

Our relationship is totally benign and platonic in nature, and of course, he falsely accuses her of affairs and such. This might happen when he grants her an hour to take the young dog to the park in an evening. I'm often not even there. For fuller context, we only hug. We hang out during playdates with the kids, dogs, etc. And further context, I'm happily and lovingly boning again, an entirely different relationship with my girlfriend.

As a man and a generally good and caring person, I want to extend extra patience and special consideration to women suffering in abusive relationships. Maybe even that is spent. I'm exhausted by broken men breaking things. I'm in awe by the capacity and compassion present in workers and helpers who deal with this level of trauma and tragedy quite literally all of the time.

She responded poorly to my email this weekend, in which I admittedly responded poorly myself -- more from a place of hurt or fear, which, obviously, not great -- and it looks like now we may never talk again. I am certain that face-to-face communication would not have had this level of destruction.

To say nothing of whether or not she can get the help/resolve/any to get out of her marriage. It's a lot bad there, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable sharing more than I have. I get it ain't easy for women to escape, so very much of the time.

[Tyche]

As a male with predominantly female friends, I've been here. It can be difficult to maintain those friendships. Especially so if there's a husband. Impossible if the husband is a psychopath. If the friendship is going to involve secret messaging, it's time to step back. Without knowing the contents of the email, it sounds like you probably unknowingly overstepped your place. If she's not ready, she's going to choose the father of her kids, even if he's abusive, over a friend. You can put yourself in danger, and unless she wants to be saved, you probably aren't going to save her. It doesn't sound like she wants out. Pushing it could introduce a lot of risk and put an entire family in harms way.

The best relationships I have with female friends are ones where their own relationships are rock solid and the partner and I are close enough that we could bullshit around a dinner table. Real litmus test is if I'd feel comfortable loaning him tools. Everyone has to be comfortable around everyone or it just usually falls apart.

If I were in your shoes, I'd just offer to always be a call away when she needs an escape.

[Roranora]

She did say she wants a divorce in recent months, yeah, but they still cohabitate.

Thanks for your words, Tyche. I found them especially meaningful and helpful. I have offered exactly that.

[Salodin]

That's a shame man. Those situations are always rough to navigate.

I'd say sometimes not saying something is better than saying something, especially when your actions can speak louder than emails. Always rough to deal with in the moment though, and hope you don't lose a friend over it.

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[zoobernut]

My wife got her first mammogram and they found a mass or dense spot (I am not good at the terminology). Now we are waiting for the ultra sound to find out if they need to biopsy. She is high risk and has had two Aunts on either side of her family who have had breast cancer. This shit is terrifying and hard to process.

[Outlaw]

You are in my thoughts. Hopefully it is just a Fibroadenoma. A benign tissue growth that is very common in women.

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[kuronosan]

My wife got her first mammogram and they found a mass or dense spot (I am not good at the terminology). Now we are waiting for the ultra sound to find out if they need to biopsy. She is high risk and has had two Aunts on either side of her family who have had breast cancer. This shit is terrifying and hard to process.

Usually they'll find it's a fibrous adenoma, common in breast tissue. I hope the biopsy comes up clean for her!

[zoobernut]

Thanks. Really hoping it’s the fibrous thing. Her mom has one. But her aunt has been battling breast cancer for several years and a different aunt died when she was a kid from it so the nerves are on edge right now.


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[jelkwaz]

Thinking positive thoughts for your wife and your family.

[6souls]

Had a meeting with the boss this morning because something I said yesterday cause a fist fight to break out between two of my coworkers. I don't know what I said, my boss won't repeat what I said and to whom. I know who fought and I know they've been itching to find a reason to have it out between each other, but I had to sign an agreement to stop talking to them for the foreseeable future. I just wish I knew what I had said so I can better myself to not repeat it in the future.

[Yabby]

Unless you said, 'That guy slept with your wife,' I can't think of any reason two grown adults should be throwing hands at work.