Pray for your Team

[Xno Kappa]

You’re all just scared of Daniel Jones. You’re scared the league would be completely destroyed by him and his 2 foot dong. He would win every super bowl and never lose a game. So they keep him away from the spotlight and purposely lower his madden rating to make him look bad because they know what would happen if he was unleashed upon the whole league. He’d make Tom Brady look like Geno Smith. He’d make Aaron Rodgers look like a squirrel. He’d make Dak Prescott look like Dak Prescott. He would reign terror upon the whole league for decades upon decades. He would be dropping dimes on cornerbacks at age 70. It would never end. The league would die if they knew just how great Daniel Jones is and everyone knows it. Goodell and Jerry keep him under wraps. Dave Gettleman saw Jones during the senior bowl and instantly knew how good he is. Only Gettlegod with his 0/20 vision can see how good this man is. Do not sleep on Daniel Jones. He will fuck your mother. He will fuck your sister. He will fuck your girlfriend and your dad too. Your grandma? Just another night for Daniel. Be scared. Be very scared.

[Rhyis.]

[NynJa]

Explain this in hockey terms pls.

[Andalusian girls]

Spoiler: show

Is that Berrian? I think he’s triple-covered. You know what? Fuck it. I’m throwing it downfield.

Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I’m fucking Sexy Rexy Grossman. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can’t, I bet I’ll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.

What’s that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That’s gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can’t just expect wins to come to you. You can’t massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You’re a pussy. This ain’t John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Rexy’s got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.

Okay, I’m throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Pats cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

Oh shit. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to throw that shit. Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I’m gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I’m gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Rexy fastball. Why? Because I can.

This is Rex Grossman we’re talking about here. We’re talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it’s worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.

Tell me you’re not turned on right now. I am.

[Xno Kappa]

lmao

[NynJa]

Can someone explain 70-20 in hockey terms pls

[Rhyis.]

lmao

Can someone explain 70-20 in hockey terms pls

20-2 in two games? something like that except 2 games in the nfl is 10% of the season

[Xno Kappa]

Death, taxes, and the New York Football Giants making the commies their bitch. Name a more iconic duo.

[Zetanio]

i don't know a single player on the new york football giants but i hope they're doing ok.

[Krandor]

It's right there in the first post

[Zetanio]

i can't read fam

[Krandor]

No wonder you're unemployed

[Zetanio]

seriously. interviewing makes me say that same thing p much every day.

[Andalusian girls]

prayers have failed

[Koyangi]

he can't read but he can cook

[Xno Kappa]

https://youtu.be/oK9gLkXe0xw?si=8cI2ISzeiWzdkJDX

[Cail]

Go banana

[Xno Kappa]

[Andalusian girls]

https://twitter.com/MTFIII/status/1734369133549031906

[Rhyis.]

"this guy tested positive for marinara sauce" is officially my new favourite wop slander