2023 NFL Week 18 Thread: I Don’t Care Who You Play

[Mertron]

i identify as eligible

annual jim mora post



steelers trying to sneak in, bills could be the 2 seed or out, afc south still up for grabs and 2 teams could make it, 7th seed clusterfuck in the nfc between the packers hawks and vikings (and they could all lose and let another nfc south team sneak in or something), teams that clinched are chilling, dolphins have to play for seeding, eagles have to play because they suck

for everyone else the season is mercifully over

[Mertron]

anyway the eagles should only play their starters for the first half, no need to sacrifice any players to the shittiest turf in the league. let the giants win and push their draft pick lower, winning streak against a shitty team be damned

[kuronosan]

Bills are cooking but might not beat the Dolphins. If they lose it would definitely be the season where everything falls into place sand they're eliminated from the playoffs. Maybe Diggs will get another picture taken of him watching other teams advance.

[Mertron]

heh

"I think we spent a lot of time, (Nick Sirianni) and I talk about this all the time, if we're going to be the same as everyone else, we're probably going to finish in the middle of the pack," Roseman said in 2022. "Sometimes you have to take risks and you have to stand out there and do something different than everyone else."

They did not apply this principle to their defensive coordinator hiring. They seemingly had their minds set on a Vic Fangio-style defense, and when Fangio himself slipped through their fingers they instead found Sean Desai, who was a branch on the Fangio tree. Some of the other branches on the Fangio tree include Joe Barry, Joe Woods, Ed Donatell, Sean Desai, Jonathan Gannon, and Brandon Staley.

Here's how those guys fared in defensive DVOA:

• Joe Woods, Saints: 16th
• Vic Fangio, Dolphins: 19th
• Ed Donatell, Vikings (2022): 24th
• Sean Desai, Eagles: 27th
• Joe Barry, Packers: 28th
• Brandon Staley, Chargers: 29th
• Jonathan Gannon, Cardinals: 32nd

Donatell and Staley are currently unemployed, Desai is stashed in "Storage Closet B" somewhere in the basement of the NovaCare Complex, and there's a good chance Barry will be fired when the Packers' season is over.

Offenses around the league have figured out how to beat Fangio's style of defense and they have punished it all season.

[Rhyis.]

no need to sacrifice any players to the shittiest turf in the league

i had this exact conversation with someone yesterday

unless howell pulls some week 18 magic for the second year in a row, it isn't worth it for the iggles

[Weltall]

Von Millers 2023 stat line

[Rhyis.]

always interesting to see who the players think the best coordinators are.
https://twitter.com/NFLPA/status/174...c-hiring-cycle
i'm shocked the panthers oc is on there considering how shit their offense is

[Cail]

always interesting to see who the players think the best coordinators are.
https://twitter.com/NFLPA/status/174...c-hiring-cycle
i'm shocked the panthers oc is on there considering how shit their offense is

and ST coach. And former DC/iHC

[Sepukku]

always interesting to see who the players think the best coordinators are.
https://twitter.com/NFLPA/status/174...c-hiring-cycle
i'm shocked the panthers oc is on there considering how shit their offense is

Do they rate HCs? I'd be curious to see Tomlin's spot

[Mertron]

things are good

https://twitter.com/awfulannouncing/...968889074?s=46

[Rhyis.]

Do they rate HCs? I'd be curious to see Tomlin's spot

welt: last

[Krandor]

Let's be real, probably second to last. Todd Bowles is still out there

[Rhyis.]

unless howell pulls some week 18 magic for the second year in a row, it isn't worth it for the iggles

skins putting their entire defense on ir
https://twitter.com/VoiceOfTheStar/s...7Ctwgr%5Etweet
daron payne is the last man standing

[Tyche]

Spending the morning learning what the fuck a Wong teaser is. I need a break, so here's a quick and dirty breakdown.

Saturday, Jan. 6 TIME(ET)

Pittsburgh at Baltimore +3 4:30 PM - Yes, Baltimore is resting a lot of starters. Yes, Pitt is playing for a playoff spot. Regardless, this Pitt team is dogshit and this line is carried by their performance the last couple weeks. Baltimore's backups are going to come out motivated to spoil and spoil they will.

Houston at Indianapolis +1.5 8:15 PM - Literally everyone and their mom is on Houston and on every Over they can find for CJ Stroud. Indi at home, Minshew Mania baby.

Sunday, Jan. 7
Cleveland at Cincinnati -7 1:00 PM - Bengals are eliminated. Browns have nothing to play for. Cinci should win this game, as I assume they'll at least continue to give meaningful reps to their starters.

Minnesota at Detroit -3.5 1:00 PM - Detroit has an outside shot at a 2 seed if Dallas loses to a crappy Washington team. That game doesn't start til this one ends, so Detroit are going to have to play their guys if they want to keep that chance. Give me Detroit and lay the points.

Jacksonville at Tennessee +3.5 1:00 PM - Tennessee put everyone on IR and effectively ended their season well before week 18. Jacksonville needs a win. Give me the Jags, lay the points.

NY Jets at New England -1.5 1:00 PM - This is potentially Bill's last game with the Patriots. He hasn't lost to them in like 3,000 days and he ain't fucking losing to Trevor Siemian. NE -30

Atlanta at New Orleans -3 1:00 PM - Alvin Kamara hasn't practiced all week. Flu is running through the Saints locker room. This is going to be a very close game. I guess I'll still take the Saints, but I think the line is about right.

Tampa Bay at Carolina +4.5 1:00 PM - TB is a win and in. Carolina sucks. Mayfield is dealing with a rib injury, but should still play. I think this game will be somewhat close. I'll take TB to win by 3. So, carolina and the points.

Chicago at Green Bay -3 4:25 PM - I ALMOST want to take Chicago here, but Jaylon Johnson is listed as doubtful. I think +3 for Chicago is probably about right. Christian Watson was a Friday DNP, so that could be concerning.

Denver at Las Vegas -3 4:25 PM - Meaningless game. No insight. Fuck Sean Payton. Gimme Vegas -3.

Philadelphia at NY Giants +5.5 4:25 PM - Eagles probably won't play anyone. Devonta Smith is def out. Wouldn't matter anyway, G-men gonna beat that ass.

Seattle at Arizona +3 4:25 PM - Cardinals aren't gonna play spoiler just to lose Marvin Harrison Jr.. Seattle, lay the points.

Kansas City at LA Chargers -3.5 4:25 PM - I guess I like the Chargers here. Keenan Allen will be, predictably, absent. But KC ain't playing any of their guys.

LA Rams at San Francisco -4 4:25 PM - Neither team is playing starters. Couldn't be more meaningless. I guess give me SF.

Dallas at Washington +13 4:25 PM - Washington has a shit secondary. Dak is gonna eat.

Buffalo at Miami +2.5 8:20 PM - Buffalo has all the motivation, none of the injuries, won 5 of their last 6, may be playing for their playoff life, and Josh Allen has historically destroyed Miami. Miami is reeling from 2 devastating defensive injuries, a crushing loss, and already have a playoff spot. Give me the Miami moneyline.

[kuronosan]

Saturday, Jan. 6 TIME(ET)

Steelers > Baltimore. They're the 1 seed. They care nothing for this game.

Colts > Texans. This could go either way but I don't see Indy giving it up with a spot on the line at home.

Sunday, Jan. 7

Browns > Cinci. Their defense stronk and Flacco is more likely to put points up than Browning. Another game that could go either way.

Lions > Vikings. Nuff said.

Jags > Titans. They're still hoping to stay in and contribute to eliminating Buffalo.

Patriots > Jets. No way the Jets perform at this point unless AR hits the field with a steel chair in hand.

Saints > Falcons.

Tampa > Panthers.

Packers > Bears. They want that playoff spot and this would rub it in AR's face.

Raiders > Denver. Payton is a moron who could have landed his team in a good spot but they'd rather business their way into mediocrity.

Giants > Eagles. If the Eagles were smart they'd rest folks since they're not getting the 1 seed. Mariota might make it difficult, who knows.

Seahawks > Cardinals.

Chiefs > Chargers. Pointless since the seeds won't change on this game. Gabbert is going to have a field day with the rest of the backups after getting Kelce 16 yards.

49ers > Rams. It'll be fun to see how this one could go since most playoff clinchers are resting.

Dallas > Commies. Who's ready to see the Cowboys look Super Bowl ready????

Miami > Buffalo. I actually think this depends on which Tua shows up and how Buffalo performs. This game means more to them but I think Miami would rather nip them here to hold on to the 2 seed than risk having to face them in the playoffs and lose again. This could go either way but a loss does more to Buffalo here.

[Krandor]

Flacco is more likely to put points up than Browning.

Flacco isn't playing.

Niners/Ravens/Chiefs/Rams/Browns are all locked into their respective seeds and have nothing to play for other than backups looking to get some tape out there.

[kuronosan]

Ah. Well then probably lean much more toward Cinci if Browns are locked in.

[Rhyis.]

technically the rams aren't locked into their seeding, they just don't care if they're playing the lions or boys (iggles) yet since none of those teams are locked up either

[Cail]

https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/sta...35087535452621

[Cail]

I forgot about this: One of the playoff games next weekend is only being streamed on Peacock.

Fucking dumb