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  1. #1

    And now a random fact about Vin Diesel: Will never die.

    http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php

    Some of my favorites so far:

    Vin Diesel was the inspiration for Captain Planet.

    Vin Diesel is not made of flesh and blood like normal folk, but from thousands of tiny Vin Diesels. The tiny Vin Diesels are made from high carbon steel, marzipan, chocolate ice cream and a mysterious substance that defies chemical analysis.

    You cannot kill Vin Diesel, you can merely put him into stasis. You do this by chopping off his head and placing it in a bag made of raw silk. The silk bag prevents the head from growing legs and reuniting with the body. He shaves his head to prevent his enemies (which are numerous) from having hair to grab onto, making decapitation by sword more difficult.

    If Vin Diesel were to stare directly at the sun, the sun would get scared and go to a different part of the galaxy.

    Vin Diesel invented steak.

    Vin Diesel is the sound of one handed clapping.

  2. #2

    Vin Diesel hates it when he takes a shit, and toilet water spashes back up on his heiny; that ever happen to you?

    Best website ever.

  3. #3
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    Vin Diesel was in India one day 2500 years ago and found some guy meditating under his favorite tree. Vin explained the nature of reality, karma and reincarnation to the man, who gained total enlightenment as a result. Then Vin said "Now get the Fuck away from my tree."

    Classic

  4. #4
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    Vin Diesel cannot have children because after sex he gets hungry and devours his sexual partners whole.

    So that's what happened to all the girls when he visited my town!

  5. #5

    Vin Diesel single-handedly cured Lance Armstrong of cancer. He was especially proud of his work with the testicles.


    Vin Diesel does not own a washer or dryer, but rather swallows his laundry load, and chases it with detergent. Then, he shits clean clothes, and burps bubbles. :D


    Every Friday at midnight he tapes cheese graters to his forearms and pretends that he's Master Shreder. He then proceeds to play "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" in his front yard until dawn.


    I just spent an hour learning about Vin Diesel, the God >.>

  6. #6

    Vin Diesel shot the sheriff, but he did not shoot the deputy; he ate him alive instead.
    Vin Diesel is the Walrus, coo coo ca choo.

    ROFL

    /em mashes refresh buttom :D


    Diesel got his wife pregnant.. and she gave birth to a delicious 16 oz. steak. The afterbirth was sauteed Mushrooms.
    only to get that and make me want to puke.

  7. #7
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    If the words "Autobots Transform!" are ever spoken in Vin Diesel's presence, his body will fold in and out of itself, forming a 1998 Dodge Neon. If he hears the words "Deceptacons Attack!", he emits an atomic blast out of his urethra.
    AHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Vin Diesel is the only man to run around the Earth at the equator and kill a wolverine on the same day.
    If you whisper Vin Diesel's name to a newborn penguin, he will attempt to suckle your teat.
    "Vin Diesel" is an anagram of "Devil Sin". This is not a coincidence - Vin Diesel is in fact the fallen angel Lucifer.

  8. #8
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    All your base are belong to Vin Diesel.

  9. #9

    Vin Diesel has had sex with two of the three Powerpuff Girls. He has not had sex with Bubbles because exposure to light blue fabric turns him into a female for 24 hours.
    That's... interesting.
    This is something I didn't find from the history books:

    Both Lee Harvey Oswald and Vin Diesel killed JFK. Oswald fired Vin Diesel out of his rifle. Vin penetrated JFK's head then exploded.

  10. #10
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    Holy omg....ok last one, what the hell are these guys smoking
    Vin Diesel's uvula is an eleven on The Mohs Scale of hardness for minerals. Frederich Mohs refused to adjust his scale above 10, arguing that technically Vin's uvula wasn't a mineral. For this slight Vin Diesel killed him in 1839.

  11. #11

    Vin Diesel ate my house, merely to prove that he could.
    Vin Diesel is the only man to have safely fallen from 20,000 feet without a parachute - the Hand of God appeared to catch him before he hit the ground, afterwards God appologised for leaving it so late, but Vin forgave him anyway.
    Vin Diesel often travels to the center of the earth in order to heat up his breakfast burritos.
    Vin Diesel dissolved the infamous Star Chamber court in 1641 because he disagreed with its use as a political weapon for bringing actions against opponents to the decrees and edicts of Henry VIII.
    If you utter the phrase "klaatu barada nikto", Vin Diesel will fellate a monkey in your living room for $4.99.

    hahahahaha

  12. #12
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    Vin Diesel invented sex, and then, to make it more interesting, invented the orgasm.

    On the third day God actually said, "Let there be France!" So Vin Diesel killed him, became God, and uttered the now famous, "Let there be Light!"

    Vin Diesel once saw Napoleon Dynamite and merely commented, "I could do everything that kid did but better".

    The greatest trick Vin Diesel ever pulled was to convince the world the devil didn't exist.

  13. #13
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    Fidel Castro has actually been dead for years. Vin Diesel has been impersonating him to ensure the survival of Communism.

    In a straight fight between Muhammed Ali and Bruce Lee - Vin Diesel would win.

    Vin Diesel's X-ray vision causes cancer. He uses this fact to comedic effect at parties.

    Elvis is not dead, he is living happily inside Vin Diesel's scrotum.

    If Vin Diesel was a D&D character his statistics would be so high that they would be partially fused with infinity.

    When Vin Diesel was four years old, a homeless man approached him and asked him for some spare change. Vin was so outraged at the homeless man's audacity, that he went back in time and beat the homeless man's ancestors to death in reverse sequence until he got back to Adam and Eve, where he took on the form of a serpent and tempted Eve to eat the forbidden fruit.

    Vin Diesel can take digital photos by blinking

    Vin Diesel was the one who let the dogs out

    Jim Croce's hit song "Don't mess around with Jim", was originally titled, "Holy Shit, its Vin Deisel!".

    When Vin Diesel smokes his lungs get stronger

    Vin Diesel is responsible for the musical careers of the Beatles, the Ramones, Run DMC, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and Pink Floyd. Nirvana's success can be attributed to archrival Bruce Willis, while the Doors are purely machines, bred of Satan and fed with only the purest virgin blood.

    Vin Diesel wrote the Necronomicon, loosely based on a drunken three-day binge he had in Tijuana.

    While in the Arabian Desert, Vin Diesel came upon a Genie. When he heard that he was only allowed three wishes, Vin Diesel kicked the Genie in the groin and swallowed the lamp.

    Vin Diesel once ate 5 turkeys in one sitting. The following massive bowel movement spawned into the band Yes.

  14. #14

    Vin Diesels tongue is coated with spores; once these enter the body of a person they will become, he who is known as "I Am".

  15. #15
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    Vin Diesel killed the Dead Sea.

  16. #16
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    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

  17. #17

    Pick any two consecutive digits of the number pi. Added up, they will always equal Vin Diesel's age.

    There was a time when the forests of Europe were so dense and omnipresent that Vin Diesel could travel from one extreme of the continent to the other jumping from treetop to treetop, never touching ground. Now he is forced to rely on his trusty flying dragon sidekick, Fujur.

    The dinosaurs went extinct after Vin Diesel told God he thought the dinosaurs were "a motherfucking stupid idea...dumbass." God was embarrased and killed off all the dinosaurs. Then, Vin Diesel gave back God's bong.

    Vin Diesel used to be on the Pro Bowlers Tour, he was later kicked off for bowling a 400 game.

    After completing a hard-fought game of Risk against, well, himself, Vin Diesel likes nothing better than to pick up a skipping rope and work himself up to a light pace of 5,378 skips per second. He can also slow down his heart rate to one heart beat every February 28th – that’s slower than it takes Jeff Goldblum to complete a sentence.


    Vin Diesel once sat on a Cactus plant. When asked how it felt he replied "Like the souls of a thousand men all suffered for my indulgence." He then shit out tiny 6 ATVs.

    Despite rumors, Vin Diesel is not gay, but his presence often causes lesser men to spontaneously transform into sexy women who forget everything about their former lives, which he then has sex with.

  18. #18

    Vin Diesel wrote all of Iggy Pop's songs and gave him tips on stage presence.

    It is not laughter that is the best medicine, but Vin Diesel.

    Vin Diesel once had cancer, but he coughed it out and used the tumor to butter his bread.

    Adolf Hitler killed himself not because of fear of the advancing Allies, but because Vin Diesel was right around the corner and about to kick his ass


    and last, but not at all the least:
    Vin Diesel has the secret to Cold Fusion but refuses to share until Saved By The Bell is put back on television.

    Focker, OUT.

  19. #19
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    My favorite:

    Vin Diesel once scaled Mt Everest using only his half-erect penis and a coat hanger.

    Something:

    Vin Diesel is a wise and benevolent giant, endlessly traveling the world to help the less fortunate. However, this wisdom comes at a terrible price. A gypsy's curse has kept him moving without respite for the past 400 years, and he can never sleep or stay in one place longer than seven days until he has learned the true secret of the Unicorns, received a kiss from a Goddess Queen (or Kim Deal), and finally discovered and finished off the man destined to destroy him - Jack Black. This is doubly difficult because Sam Neill is hunting Vin Diesel down to remove his own curse, which can only be removed by ramming The Unicorn's Horn through Vin Diesel's huge heart. With the help of his faithful steed - the black dragon Leseid - Vin Diesel hopes to complete his quest ... or die trying.

  20. #20

    In 1972 Vin Diesel was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. He promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire.... Vin Diesel.
    . . . . . . . . . . H0LY $H!T THE V-TEAM!

    Vin Diesel can communicate with fruit, he says apples scream the loudest
    Vin Diesel will flip you. He'll flip you for real.
    There were originally only 23 letters in the alphabet but Vin does not like that number so he invented G, P, and W. He also changed the way the letter Y was first pronounced.
    The U.S. actually dropped Vin Diesel onto Hiroshima, and that one can speak for itself.
    Wafflez

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