And now a random fact about Vin Diesel: Will never die.

[Ramor]

Vin Diesel has talent.
it's a joke, like the rest

[Olo401]

Vin Diesel isn't chuck norris. many people tried pushing a meme on an actor/talentless hack and failed.

Vin diesel is one of the 2. Oh shit. he's both

Vin Diesel would kick Chuck Norris' wrinkly old wannabe-John Wayne ass.

[Ksandra]

Vin Diesel isn't chuck norris. many people tried pushing a meme on an actor/talentless hack and failed.

Vin diesel is one of the 2. Oh shit. he's both

Vin Diesel would kick Chuck Norris' wrinkly old wannabe-John Wayne ass.

That and he's fucking hot. Much much hotter than chuck norris.

[Septimus]

Vin Diesel isn't chuck norris. many people tried pushing a meme on an actor/talentless hack and failed.

Vin diesel is one of the 2. Oh shit. he's both

The difference between Chuck Norris and Vin Diesel is that they are jokes when they are about Chuck. For Vin, they are irrefutable facts.

Some of my personal best.

The Ancient Greeks believed that when you yelled, an echo was Vin Diesel shouting back at you to shut the hell up.

+++++

Little Timmy Johnson of Miami, Florida was having a terrible tenth birthday. He got a B- on his spelling test, the cafeteria was out of pizza again, the neighbor's dog made a mess in the front yard and he had to clean it up, and the local bully Brad Holsteder pushed him down on the school bus. Even his beach-front birthday party was awful- his mom got a stupid Sponge Bob cake instead of Superman, and his dad's new secretary/wife forgot to bring the ice cream.

Then suddenly a killer whale beached itself next to the party and exploded showering the guests with blood, lard, and entrails. Vin Diesel stepped out of the carcass, looking as clean as if he had just stepped out of the shower, and said "Happy Birthday Timmy". He then gave Timmy a gold-plated Nintendo Wii, smacked Brad Holsteder with some whale blubber, and then rode off into the horizon on a pair of dolphins.

It was the best birthday that Timmy ever had.

+++++

For fun, Vin Diesel likes to pick up and throw gas tankers to see how many miles into a forest he can toss them. He then throws hand grenades in the direction of the tanker until it explodes, burning a bald eagle with his heat vision for each grenade that misses.. He refers to this sport as "Diesel rules Golf".

+++++

Vin Diesel once punched the universe so hard that it caused the timeline to rewrite itself. In the new continuity Jack Black is an actor/musician, not the tyrannical ruler of the Jack States of America.

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Every time you touch yourself, God kills a kitten. Every time God kills a kitten, Vin Diesel kills an Angel in retaliation. There aren't that many Angels left.

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The female orgasm was just a myth until Vin Diesel invented it for his 6th grade science fare project.

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When life hands Vin Diesel lemons, he puts them in a sock and beats the crap out of life with them so it doesn’t repeat that mistake.

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At age 5, while his freinds wore Superman and Spider-Man costumes, Vin Diesel went trick-or-treating dressed up as the Principle of Falsifiability. Although people didn't understand it, they knew it was the best damn costume they ever saw.

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In the early 90's, Vin Diesel was asked to star in the movie Encino Man. He said that while the film was below him he knew someone perfect for the part- he pulled down his pants and produced a talking bowl movement to play the role. The bowl movement later went on to star in such films as Son-In-Law, Jury Duty, and Bio Dome and now has a reality show on TBS.

+++++

When asked what he would do for a Klondike Bar, Vin Diesel unmade all of creation then remade it. He got a little bored when he got around to Australia, which is why the platypus has a bill and webbed feet.

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At Vin Diesel's 5th birthday party, an 8 year old bully popped one of the balloons. This enraged Vin so much that he flew around the Earth until it reversed the flow of time, then repeatedly kicked the bully's father in the crotch preventing his birth. No one has messed with Vin since.

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Vin Diesel once out MacGuyvered MacGuyver by stopping an active nuclear bomb from detonating by turning it into a half dozen paper clips, 3 rubber bands, 2 fluorescent light bulbs, 4 AAA batteries, a cardboard box, baking soda, peroxide, and a balloon. MacGuyver was so impressed with this feat that he shaved his mullet and changed his name to "Jack O'Neil".

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Not many people know that Vin Diesel never does laundry because clothes get cleaner by touching him.

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Vin Diesel laughs when he hears the phrase "make love not war", because he can make both simultaneously.

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Element #127 has been named Dieselium because it can kick the ass of every other element on the Periodic Table. That's right, even Manganese.

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When Vin Diesel reached the end of Final Fantasy 7, he became so enraged at Sephiroth that he climbed into his TV and beat the villain to death with his bare fists. When asked about the incident, Vin replied "that goth pansy got what he deserved."

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In the early 1990's, NBC pitched a show to Vin Diesel in which he would play a teacher who traveled through time to show his students history first hand. When he actually read the script for the first episode, he became so enraged that he killed the writers, producers, cast, and crew of the show, then in a single leap returned to his ice fortress in the Arctic. The network had to scramble to completely remake the show, and it enjoyed moderate success under its new title Sienfield.

+++++

Vin Diesel has been known to shoot beams made of gamma-rays out of his eyes that can kill every living thing in their path. Except for Kittens, Vin Diesel could never kill a kitten.

Viva la Vin Diesel thread!

[Guyverarmor]

your awsome sept! good quotes, from the book of Vin Diesel

[Andarvi]

The image of God touching Adam's hand on the cieling of the Sistine Chapel is actually Vin touching Vin's hand.

[Ksandra]

In light of the new Diesel movie (Babylon A.D.):

"If you had asked me back in grade school what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have said my first choice was an actor, but if I couldn't be that, I'd want to be a superhero."

-Vin Diesel

You are Vin, you are.

[Krandor]

Best thread ever.

I had forgotten how brilliant some of these were.

[Warudo Ecksu]

scun will be happy to see this shit revived

[Ksandra]

scun will be happy to see this shit revived

this thread is never allowed to die.

[Katlan]

This has to be the longest running thread I've seen on BG... started in '05.... necro'd back to the front in '07... and revived once again in '08!

Legendary thread?

[Byrd]

When life hands Vin Diesel lemons, he puts them in a sock and beats the crap out of life with them so it doesn’t repeat that mistake.

Still my favorite.

[Olo401]

How did I ever miss this thread?! owait it's before my time here..

"While there is technically more than one way to skin a cat, for most people it's somewhere in the neighborhood of three. For Vin Diesel, it's 3,895 and all but three of them use his genitals."

[Warudo Ecksu]

Vin Diesel has a go kart which runs off the hopes and dreams of orphans. It's very fast.

lolll found that one a few pages back

[Mizango]

WB Diesel thread, WB.

[Demosthenes11]

lol this thread never gets old

[ferigor]

In the september update, SE is set to release a video of Vin Diesel fighting Pandemonium Warden. After defeating the first 20 forms in less than 15 minutes, Vin encounters the only enemy capable of defeating him: Pandemonium Diesel.

I dunno, kind of lame. I thought I'd give it a go.

[Rocl]

Yeah that was terrible

[Andarvi]

The IOC has banned Vin Diesel from the 2012 Olympics after finding traces amounts of him in Michael Phelps' blood.

[Plow]

This has to be the longest running thread I've seen on BG... started in '05.... necro'd back to the front in '07... and revived once again in '08!

Legendary thread?

Legendary doesn't qualify for this thread, half the people with 05 join dates signed up to post in this thread.