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  1. #1

    critique my work please

    So here's the assignment, I have to come up with a "message" of some sort, and design a collage that represents this message, I just finished it and want some opinions, first I'll show you my original images, all of which are pictures I took, aside from the stock photography background... here they are:



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    I used these to put this together, the message is "Let go..." as you will see:



    [removed broken link]



    Does it convey the message?

    Is it done well?

    Do you like it?

    Anything else you want to say?


    Thanks, your input is appreciated, any smart ass comments are appreciated too.

  2. #2
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    wow thats alot of hair on your arms there, anyways, i didnt get the messege maybe cause it has different meanings behind it, i dunno other then that you did a great job on it.

  3. #3
    Yoshi P
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    Smart ass comment first. For a hot chik you sure got hairy arms.

    Your msg seems to convey: Fuck the romance, let's fuck in the woods. :D

  4. #4
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    his hair is gone in the final product

    anyways i think it would be better if you could convey the message without using type to help out. also, why that backround? did you like the dark nature of it or what?

    one design element that i think is important and needs to be fixed is the placement of the flower. it's too low in the picture. if it were higher, as if it had just been dropped, then the space below it would help increase the height that it needs to fall and thus the falling effect would be greater and easier to see. know what i'm sayin?

    i'd maybe play around with the background and maybe switch the dark feeling of the picture towards the front and the focus on the flower. photoshop the red of the flower black maybe and have that on top of a lively background. i don't know why yet so don't ask.

  5. #5

    I somehow knew people would comment on my hairy arm, but by smart ass comments I meant something clever...


    Anyway, my inspiration actually came from Cowboy Bebop and a song that says "Let go" in it, basically, what it means is, let go of whatever you're holding onto that is keeping you from living your life... the rose is supposed to be kind of weak and dying, which, I think, is shown through the fact that the air it is falling through is bending it and moving the leaves, because when flowers die, they are no longer strong in stem and leaves.

  6. #6
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    I like it a lot. I think it shows the message perfectly.

  7. #7

    Yummy: one of my requirements is to have the text there, but I agree with you, I don't think my teacher is very good... lol

    I wanted a dark background cause it's kind of a sad moment when you let go of something you've been holding onto for a long time, don't know why I thought of a forrest, just couldn;t think of anything else.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Almaa
    Anyway, my inspiration actually came from Cowboy Bebop and a song that says "Let go" in it, basically, what it means is, let go of whatever you're holding onto that is keeping you from living your life... the rose is supposed to be kind of weak and dying, which, I think, is shown through the fact that the air it is falling through is bending it and moving the leaves, because when flowers die, they are no longer strong in stem and leaves.
    now that you say that i do kinda like my last suggestion. if there were liviness in the background then that could represent the world that this person is stepping into after they "let go" of their demons or whatever.

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    like for example: quitting FFXI

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Almaa
    Yummy: one of my requirements is to have the text there, but I agree with you, I don't think my teacher is very good... lol
    i think the text is kinda cheesy and any piece would be 100x stronger if somebody could represent what they want without putting the words in there. with the text, the viewer has no chance to interpret shit, they look at it and then look away.

  11. #11

    Ok, gotta get it out of the way - yes, you have hairy ass arms, moving along.

    From my college background in Photography, it works, but it feels to be lacking just a bit. The transposing with the photoshop is good since it's not easily noticable (you get what I mean).

    For kicks, can you replace the forest background with just a plain black background? See my issue right now is that the whole arm/rose/forest thing looks funky. Obviously it's not real, and you said you're going for to convey a message, not realism. However, it is sometimes easier to the general public to understand a message when the message itself is easily conveyed.

    I guess the words I'm looking for are "too busy." Is the forest background cool? Yes. Does it work with this image? Not...entirely. It's not bad by any means, but doesn't seem to have a full effect. Sometimes simple is good :3

    EDIT: Also not sure about that glow around the rose. You see, "Let go" has two meanings - to let go of something good, or something bad. I guess what you first need to decide is which one it is then go from there. If you can't have a definitive one, then you'll be screwed over with ambiguity.

  12. #12

    Well, see, this is a photoshop class, and my teacher is an idiot... I have certain requirements to fullfill for the project. I have to have the type there, which I don't like, but I have no choice, like I said my teacher is an idiot. I was also supposed to use the replace color option, which I didn't because I didn't need to... I think it's pretty dumb to require I do something I don't need to do so fuck her. Plus, this is supposed to be a "collage" as she calls it so I have to combine and "cut and paste" images to create something so it's not going to look entirely real, especially since I'm not trying to edit something into a photo to make it believable.

    My inspiration came from Cowboy Bebop like I said, but there is some personal feeling behind it all which to me is kind of a sad and dark thing which is why I have the background in such a way... To me it's something you don't want to let go of, and doing so doesn't make me happy.

    The glow is there to make it a little more visible, tried to make it faint.

    Thanks for the comments so far btw.

  13. #13
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    What if you change the arm angle? Try with wrist pointing down, sorta dropping the rose.

  14. #14
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    i'm in photoshop class right now too... but the first 3 weeks are spent learning how to use photoshop. this is the third week so maybe after this week we can help critique each other.

    replace color option... make the flower black like i said :wink: well play around with it, i don't know how my suggestions would work unless i saw them.

  15. #15

    lol, I've been using Photoshop since version 4, so this class is more like something I'm required to take in order to graduate, I also forgot to mention this project was due last week on Thursday, and since class was cancelled due to Hurricane Rita until tomorrow, I didn't do my project, and I didn't start until 8pm tonight, I didn't even have any idea what I was going to do until I was driving to Chipotle for dinner and the song I was listening to said "Let go" so I went and bought a Rose on my way home cause I got my idea then. So this is quite last minute.

  16. #16
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    well i am new to photoshop, so maybe you will be a better critique than me and give me some lovely advice after i show you my first draft of whatever the hell i'll be doing

  17. #17

    I loved the misty-ness of the original forest picture, I like how it was vast and the trees were dark, but there was light at the end, kinda gave me the feeling even if there's something bad going on (walking through a dark forest) theres still hope/light at the end. I think the forest picture was really strong, but in the photoshop it seems to have lost it because you made it too dark.

    Personally I think the message is clear, it's obvious you're letting something go, but your hand looks too...rigid if you know what I mean, kinda like a forced position as apposed to a natural looking one.

    Edit: it kinda looks like you're throwing the rose away with your hand instead of letting go, need to relax your hand more so your fingers kinda droop down

    Lastly, the rose, while in a decent position need to be a bit higher, also I personally think the stem should be a bit higher then the leaves or head or whatever.

    I think it's great first impression was "wow that's awesome", but if I had to analyze it these are what would bug me. You're teacher is an idiot, but then again most teachers that are in graphics are weird to begin with.

  18. #18
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    The hairy arm is perfactly acceptable :D

    And i dont know anything about whatever you're doing so~ no comment

  19. #19

    imo, get a less unhappy background + something other than a rose. It seems a little too angsty and unhappy and faux-artsy. You obviously have skills, i see no reason to go cliche (other than maybe thats what gets the grade). Do something fun, get a picture of your gf's (or w/e some girl) hand and show your hand and hers slipping away from each other with a nice flowery backdrop. Not so much a goodbye as a see you again

  20. #20

    I think I already put too much effort into it anyway, it's not an art class either... I wish I had access to other people's work in my class so you could all laugh with me... some kid's message was "bassists are better than guitarists" and he painted with the paint tool "Luke Basswalker" fighting "Guitarth Vader" each fighting with their respective instruments rather than light sabers. I wanted to puke and laugh at the same time.

    Oh and get this, my idiot teacher... is missing... we don't know where she is and neither does her assistant, so class was cancelled and this isn't due for another week. I also got the pleasure of wasting over 2 hours driving to campus and finding out my only class was cancelled and driving back home. Fuck school, fuck it right in the ear.

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