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  1. #1
    Septislut Sexy Brigade
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    random jokes

    A woman went to a Debenhams service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,

    "PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!"

    The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager.

    In front a growing crowd of customers. The manager goes to the woman and asks,

    "Ma'am what's wrong?"

    She explained the problem with the toaster, and he tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming

    "PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!"

    And doing so draws and even bigger crowd! In shock, the store manager pleads

    "Ma'am, why are you saying that?"

    In a huff, the woman says,

    "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'm being SCREWED!!"

    The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded

  2. #2

    There once was a woman that couldn't get her husband to have sex with her. Frustrated she went to their family doctor and said

    "I can't het my husband to have sex with me anymore, what can I do?"

    The doctor looks at her and starts to write a prescription.

    "OK, give him 3 pills in his drink in the morning and he will have sex with you the same night"

    The next morning while making breakfast the woman puts 5 pills in his drink.

    That night he comes home and fucks the shit out of her like she has never been before.

    The next morning, barely able to walk and drunk on love she decides to put 10 pills in his drink.

    That night he comes home picks her up throws her against the wall and starts fucking her till she breaks through.

    Tired, and now in a wheelchair the woman decides fuck it. I am going to put 15 pills in his drink.

    The next morning their son is standing by the door crying uncontrolably. The mailman comes walking by and sees this. He says to the boy

    "What is wrong kid, why ya cryin?"

    The kid with tears running down his face and looks at the mailman and says

    "My mom is dead, my sister is pregnant, my butt hurts, and my dad is chasing the dog."

  3. #3
    New Spam Forum
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    that one made me cry in laughter

  4. #4

    One day in 1st Grade, Tommy sees his friend Mark with a new watch.
    He says "Hey, thats a nice watch, did you buy it?"
    Mark says "Nope"
    Tommy says "Did you steal it?"
    Mark says "No"
    Tommy says "Then how did you get it?!"
    Mark says "Well, most grown-ups have a dirty secret...I just went up to my dad and said 'I know the whole truth' and he gave me this watch and told me to keep quiet"

    Tommy thinks this is a good idea and decides to try it.

    Tommy goes home and tells his mom "I know the whole truth". His mom gives him 10 dollars and says "Ok, but don't say anything to daddy". His dad comes home and he says "I know the whole truth". His dad gives him 20 dollars and says "Ok, just don't say anything to mommy". The next morning, the mailman comes and Tommy tells him "I know the whole truth", and with that, the mailman drops to his knees, smiles and says "Then come give your daddy a big hug!"

    ----------------------------------

    A man with a 25-inch cock goes to the doctor asking for help, because he can't get any women. "Its too big" they say. The doctor says "Medically, there is nothing I can do, but Ill tell you what...I have a friend who is a witch doctor and maybe she can help you". So he gets the adress of the wtich doctor and goes to see her. The Witch is amazed at first but then says "Well....I know of a frog out in the pond in the woods, you are to go ask for her hand in marriage, everytime she declines your purposal, your dick will get 5 inches shorter." The man has nothing to loose, he decides, and goes out to the frog.

    "Frog! Will you marry me?" He shouts
    The frog looks back sadly and says "No!"
    The man feels a sudden and when he looks down, his cock is 5 inches shorter.
    "Wow! This is great!" he thinks "Needs to be just a bit shorter"
    The man shouts back "Oh Froggy! Will you marry me?"
    The frog rolls her eyes and says "No!"
    Again, the man's cock gets 5 inches shorter
    "Hmm....just one more time should be ideal" He thinks
    "Oh frog sweetie..." he calls out "Will you marry me?"
    The frog shouts back at the top of her lungs "How many times do I have to tell you? NO! NO! and for the last time, NO!"

  5. #5

    Short and simple Joke:

    Lets say I have a rooster, and you have a donkey.

    Your donkey eats my roosters feet.

    What do you have?
















    2 feet of my cock in your ass.

  6. #6
    Sea Torques
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    racist joke alert @[email protected]

    what's the difference between a pizza and a black guy?




    a pizza can feed a family of four

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