The Genius of Larry Bernstein

[Elcura]

Foetal Attraction - The Power to Influence the Unborn.

Length: 4 hours

A revolutionary motivational programme for the unborn baby, dramatically improving gestation periods from nine to six months. The child is never to young to learn whilst developing limbs. Winners are not born - they're made and Bernstein has realised that saving for the kids college funds could be a thing of the past.

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This one's for Bert.

Power Napping - How To Fall Asleep On the Job.

How to achieve a wise and renewing balance between work and family in the midst of constant pressures and crises. Power - Napping was developed by Larry in the early nineties whilst working in Government buildings working as a Security Guard.

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Lie Your Ass Off!. - A guide to Writing your C.V.

Whether you're looking for your first job, taking the next step up the career ladder ( Also Check Out 'Lord Of The Rungs') or considering changing fields , Larry Bernstein's no nonsense approach to lying about exam results, manipulating previous job descriptions, being efficient with the truth, paraphrasing colleagues c.v.'s and claiming you took a major interest in after-school activities should land the job for YOU-

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My personal favourite.

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You're A Winner, Eat Your Dinner - Understanding Anorexia.

This was one of Larry's most successful books to date. After making a Keynote Speech at the Anorexic Societies Annual Dinner and Walk (dance), reaction was immediate and hurt.

[Romero]

HA, That is tits!!!

[Fira]

He's got a fucked up grill, those are some big teeth.

[Septimus]

He's got a fucked up grill, those are some big teeth.

I think those are fake teeth.

...

Oh how I hope that they are fake...

[macbain24]

look at his skin hes a fucking oompa loompa