+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 17 of 17

Thread: Fortune Cookie     submit to reddit submit to twitter submit to tumblr

  1. #1
    Melee Summoner
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    48
    BG Level
    1

    Fortune Cookie

    Anyone ever read any good/funny/insightful fortune cookies? I got one earlier and thought it was pretty good.

    Society prepares the crime, the criminal commits it.

    (Yea, I included the smiley's)

    I'm not really sure what to make of it, but to a side of me it kinda makes but to the other it doesn't.

    Anyways...anyone else have any good ones?

  2. #2
    Saint Daahan Von Quitter the 1st
    Patron of Yin

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    4,717
    BG Level
    7

    a fortune cookie told me to beat up an old lady, so i did.

  3. #3
    Relic Shield
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    1,686
    BG Level
    6

    "You are an angel, beware of those who steal feathers"

    and also

    "You'd make a good lawyer" (I'm serious...)

  4. #4
    Relic Shield
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    1,553
    BG Level
    6
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    My friends and I used to say 'in bed' after every fortune cookie. Kinda lame, I know, but it made for some pretty hilarious phrases.

    Fun rule for the drinking game Waterfalls when you draw an Ace.

  5. #5
    Smells like Onions
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    6
    BG Level
    0

    "A Leader is Powerful to the degree he empowers others."

    Your lucky numbers 24, 37, 15, 42, 38, 8

    LEARN CHINESE-
    Bean Sprout

    Dou-Ya

  6. #6
    Hydra
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    123
    BG Level
    3
    FFXI Server
    Odin

    Quote Originally Posted by Totien
    My friends and I used to say 'in bed' after every fortune cookie. Kinda lame, I know, but it made for some pretty hilarious phrases.
    Damn, Totien beat me to it. I learned this from a favorite uncle of mine, although the phrasing was "between the sheets". For example:
    Quote Originally Posted by Ruse
    "A Leader is Powerful to the degree he empowers others between the sheets."
    I can't remember any off the top of my head, but sometimes they can be downright hilarious. It sure makes for interesting times whenver I'm out for Chinese food with my family/friends.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Totien
    My friends and I used to say 'in bed' after every fortune cookie. Kinda lame, I know, but it made for some pretty hilarious phrases.

    Fun rule for the drinking game Waterfalls when you draw an Ace.
    When you say friends do you mean an episode of Upright Citizen's Brigade that already did EXACTLY what you said? Not only have they done and probably created the joke, they also exhausted every possible facet of comedy out of it.

  8. #8

    "The strongest building can house the greatest evil."

    There can be several interpretations of this, I'm sure.

  9. #9
    Relic Shield
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    1,553
    BG Level
    6
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    Quote Originally Posted by Klever
    Quote Originally Posted by Totien
    My friends and I used to say 'in bed' after every fortune cookie. Kinda lame, I know, but it made for some pretty hilarious phrases.

    Fun rule for the drinking game Waterfalls when you draw an Ace.
    When you say friends do you mean an episode of Upright Citizen's Brigade that already did EXACTLY what you said? Not only have they done and probably created the joke, they also exhausted every possible facet of comedy out of it.
    Never seen the show, so no.

  10. #10
    Old Merits
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    1,006
    BG Level
    6

    "Your first and only love is self love"


  11. #11
    E. Body
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,242
    BG Level
    7
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    Quote Originally Posted by Totien
    Quote Originally Posted by Klever
    Quote Originally Posted by Totien
    My friends and I used to say 'in bed' after every fortune cookie. Kinda lame, I know, but it made for some pretty hilarious phrases.

    Fun rule for the drinking game Waterfalls when you draw an Ace.
    When you say friends do you mean an episode of Upright Citizen's Brigade that already did EXACTLY what you said? Not only have they done and probably created the joke, they also exhausted every possible facet of comedy out of it.
    Never seen the show, so no.
    Never seen the show myself and I've always said the same thing.

  12. #12
    Ridill
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    12,469
    BG Level
    9
    FFXIV Character
    Septimus Atumre
    FFXIV Server
    Gilgamesh
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    Quote Originally Posted by Klever
    Quote Originally Posted by Totien
    My friends and I used to say 'in bed' after every fortune cookie. Kinda lame, I know, but it made for some pretty hilarious phrases.

    Fun rule for the drinking game Waterfalls when you draw an Ace.
    When you say friends do you mean an episode of Upright Citizen's Brigade that already did EXACTLY what you said? Not only have they done and probably created the joke, they also exhausted every possible facet of comedy out of it.
    I heard about the "in bed" thing long before that show was on the air...

  13. #13

    I've gotten the same one twice.

    "You will accept the next proposition made to you"

    I made the mistake of telling my friends about it when I opened it and they told me to give them head.

    I just eat the fortunes whole now

  14. #14
    Sea Torques
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    657
    BG Level
    5

    did you get this from tucker max's forum?

  15. #15
    Yoshi P
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    5,120
    BG Level
    8
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    Quote Originally Posted by ½pint
    "Your first and only love is self love"
    ...in bed.

  16. #16
    New Spam Forum
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    165
    BG Level
    3

    Never take joy from another's misfortune.

  17. #17
    Relic Horn
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    3,143
    BG Level
    7
    FFXI Server
    Unicorn
    WoW Realm
    Shattered Hand

    Adding on to the "in bed" thing. My high school had an international day on wednesdays I think it was where they'd serve international food, asian, mexican etc. Well one week it was asian, and we got fortune cookies. Somehow, the food supplier made tailor-made cookies for schoolkids.

    "Good grades come to those who study" ...in bed
    "Pay attention, you just might learn something" ...in bed

    and so on.

    Then I opened mine, it read:

    "Your teacher thinks you're great!" ...in bed

    I laughed so hard that I couldn't read it out loud and had to pass it to my friend next to me.

Quick Reply Quick Reply

  • Decrease Size
    Increase Size
  • Remove Text Formatting
  • Insert Link Insert Image Insert Video
  • Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text
  • Insert NSFW Tag
  • Insert Spoiler Tag

Similar Threads

  1. "Lay off mah cookies" (Wii mote choking)
    By Senji in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 2009-02-07, 02:27
  2. Need help with finding a cookie cutter
    By arlania in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 2007-12-01, 03:19