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  1. #1
    Melee Summoner
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    BG Level

    Rate my crap story!

    Ogrt48’s Day Out

    It’s a peaceful day in some random rundown neighborhood. Everybody is out walking around when all of the sudden, a door slammed open. Immediately, a swarm of bugs comes out and everybody within smelling radius start gagging and falling down. Then, a huge, 550 pound behemoth of a human being stomps outside, rashes developing where sunlight hit his filth and grime covered skin. He is wearing completely discolored torn jeans and a stretched Sonic the Hedgehog shirt underneath his huge fur coat that he put on but never bothered to take off. He has a long, filthy beard that is colored orange and red from all the pizza he consumes. His name is Ogrt48.

    He walks past the “insert pizza here” slot and around the corner to get into his car, a vomit green and rust colored 1974 AMC Gremlin, for the drive over to Electronics Boutique. He struggles in and turns the key only to hear “click click click” ad infinitum. He does this for a minute before he gets out of the car and pops open the bonnet. He looks inside to find... nothing. The only thing inside the bonnet was the ignition system. He then noticed that the car’s wheels were also stolen. In fact, the only things that weren’t stolen were the steering wheel, the frame, and the ignition system (he didn’t even realize he wasn’t sitting in a seat). He shrugs and starts walking off towards Electronic Boutique.

    On the way there, everybody that gets a whiff of him reacts violently. People start randomly gagging, falling over, vomiting, and some even have their heads explode from the smell. He walks on, not noticing the display of smell induced death around him. He walks into the local Jack In The Box to get some food. He walks up to the cashier, who through some miracle was unaffected by the smell. “Welcome to Jack In The Box, how may I serve you?” said the cashier.

    “I need food,” said Ogrt48.

    “Sorry, we don’t carry that here. If you wish, we can get you a Jack in the Box Surprise Combo,” the cashier responded.


    “That will be 2 bucks. What drink so you want?”


    “Sure enough. It will be here in a second.”

    After the ordering of his food (which was taxing on his verbal language skills), he sat down at the nearest booth, his stomach pushing the table away and his fat ass consuming the entire seat. Eventually, he is called up to get his Surprise Combo.

    After his refreshingly different meal from the pizzas he’s been having for the past several years, he goes off towards EB once again. He notices that there’s a huge traffic jam starting where he started walking away from his place, but doesn’t care much. He continues walking towards EB, a trail of people gagging to his smell in his wake. He does get to EB and walks inside. He grabs a shopping cart and starts browsing the aisles, grabbing all sorts of crap. He eventually finishes and gets to the front desk. This cashier saw him coming and put on a gas mask. “Hello, how may I help you?” said the cashier.

    “Warcraft III. Reserved under Ogrt48,” said Ogrt48.

    “We’re sorry, we don’t see you under the list,” said the cashier.

    “I called in back when first announced.”

    “You’re not on the list. Sir, just go get a copy off the shelf. There are plenty left.”

    Ogrt48 walks off and finds that there weren’t any left on the shelf. He then notices that one man who had gagged off his smell was lying on the ground clutching a copy of Warcraft III. He buys it along with 28,959 dollars of computer parts and games, and goes back outside. He then walks over to the car dealership next to the mall. After looking around for about ten minutes, a salesman gathers enough courage to approach him. “Hello, sir. What are you looking for today?” says the salesman.

    “How much is this one?” said Ogrt48, pointing towards the gleaming green car next to him.

    “That is a BMW 745Li. A beauty of a car, it features-”

    “HOW MUCH?”

    “75 thousand dollars.”

    “Gah, would require too much from computer game budget. Any used cars?”

    “Sure. What’s your budget?”

    “Umm... what can I get for a clicking thingy and steering wheel of a Gremlin?”

    “Let’s see... I know, how about a 1986 Yugo?”


    “In fact, you don’t have to pay us now, we’ll pick it up sometime. What’s your address?”

    After buying his “new” car, Ogrt48 drives off to his humble abode. He finally gets home and parks next to the Gremlin. He then walks inside of his home and slams the door shut, never to be seen again outside for another several months, until Metroid Prime comes out.

    The end.

  2. #2

    Bored the shit out of me.

  3. #3
    HABS SUCK!!!!!
    Sepukku is my Hero
    Therrien's Cum Dumpster

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    BG Level
    FFXI Server

    wheres the clickable link ?

  4. #4
    New Spam Forum
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    BG Level

    Re: Rate my crap story!

    Quote Originally Posted by Asswipe
    Ogrt48’s Day Out
    Yeah...stopped there.

  5. #5
    Yoshi P
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    BG Level
    WoW Realm

    If you want people to read your work, you shouldn't label it as crap in the title. I didn't read a word of this, but I just wanted to give you atleast that much advice.

  6. #6

  7. #7
    Relic Horn
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    BG Level
    FFXI Server

    Needs more green, hairy, female orc titty.

  8. #8
    You wouldn't know that though because you've demonstrably never picked up a book nor educated yourself on the matter. Let me guess, overweight housewife?
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    BG Level
    FFXIV Character
    Allyra Arianos
    FFXIV Server
    WoW Realm

    I give it a -1. Though I didn't bother to read it.

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