Croco's Guide to getting Guru Status on Allakhazam

[ircgeek]

Xbobx is another interesting user to look out for. He was run out of GameFAQs for being a loldrg or something to that effect and because he worked at burger king. He is the only level 75 on Allakhazam. He is a dragoon, and he is fucking retarded. However, he is the only level 75 that posts on alla and they immediately respect him almost to the level of Xylia because of this, if he had clothcrafting leveled he would be higher than Xylia probably because he is a Dragoon that works at Burger King. It is incredibly tempting to reply to his posts with "i'd like a whopper hold the pickles, extra onions" BUT you must never do this, i did it once and i was rated down from a Guru to that my posts didnt show up on the forums.

Whenever Xbobx posts you should reply to his posts, sympothize him and the dragoon class, maybe throw something in about cloth crafting, that is always nice for a rate up. Do not ever mention Burger King with an Xbobx post even if you really really like Burger King, he freaks out if you mention Burger King. I heard one time he called like 50 gil sellers out from Davoi and Beadeaux and they Super Jumped a dude all at once because they mentioned Burger King.

Bobby works at Arby's, not Burger King. In addition, he's not really well-liked on Alla anymore either... Not really recommending anyone bother to read the thread (although the stuff abotu the child he took in is always precious), but it's proof:

http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?f ... =10;page=1

That guy's on my server lol

Didn't chili have you harass him or something at one point? I forget, but we found someone on his server at one point and got them to do the Arby's schtick.

Alright, editted the Xbobx section for arbys instead of burger king. I want some arbys now :/.

[Jeryhn]

Fuck Arbys. Taco Bell prease.

[Russta]

Xbobx is another interesting user to look out for. He was run out of GameFAQs for being a loldrg or something to that effect and because he worked at burger king. He is the only level 75 on Allakhazam. He is a dragoon, and he is fucking retarded. However, he is the only level 75 that posts on alla and they immediately respect him almost to the level of Xylia because of this, if he had clothcrafting leveled he would be higher than Xylia probably because he is a Dragoon that works at Burger King. It is incredibly tempting to reply to his posts with "i'd like a whopper hold the pickles, extra onions" BUT you must never do this, i did it once and i was rated down from a Guru to that my posts didnt show up on the forums.

Whenever Xbobx posts you should reply to his posts, sympothize him and the dragoon class, maybe throw something in about cloth crafting, that is always nice for a rate up. Do not ever mention Burger King with an Xbobx post even if you really really like Burger King, he freaks out if you mention Burger King. I heard one time he called like 50 gil sellers out from Davoi and Beadeaux and they Super Jumped a dude all at once because they mentioned Burger King.

Bobby works at Arby's, not Burger King. In addition, he's not really well-liked on Alla anymore either... Not really recommending anyone bother to read the thread (although the stuff abotu the child he took in is always precious), but it's proof:

http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?f ... =10;page=1

That guy's on my server lol

Didn't chili have you harass him or something at one point? I forget, but we found someone on his server at one point and got them to do the Arby's schtick.

He asked me some stuff about him but never actually got me to do anything.

I should come on irc more; is Moggy still banned?

[ircgeek]

I don't know. We actually moved to a new server, so possibly not. Dezzimal stops there now, too. I'll PM you about it if you want to drop by.

[Russta]

Yeah PM me the details, I may pop on again from time-to-time if I can actually figure out irc for once.

[ircgeek]

Alright, editted the Xbobx section for arbys instead of burger king. I want some arbys now :/.

Yeah, I know. Everytime we run into Bob, you just start craving some Arby Melts and those delicious curly fries.

[levish]

Topic Suggestions:

*TP/MP Burn PTs ruin the game
*I'm a princess job lalala
*Clothcrafting @55
*Warriors are elitest jerks
*Clothcrafting @55
*Gardening
*Gold Farmers steal all my crawlers
*Clothcrafting @55
*WHM or RDM AF6
*HNM Elitest Gamers
*BG Forums suck
*KI Forums Suck
*GameFAQs Forums suck
*PUP/DRG rule
*Clothcrafting @55
*Clothcrafting @25
*JPs are racists
*I <3 JPs
*JPs > Elitests NAs
*Clothcrafting @55


Remember: The General rule of allakhazam is clothcrafting is the main source of fun in FFXI

you forgot the obligatory
nerf nin
nerf /nin
nerf utsusemi
omg sihei is too $$$ i can't level nin to sub for xxx

[Byrd]

I disagree with the OP.

Rate down.

[Bununyunu]

I'm 90 clothcraft.
I'm a sage on allakhazam.


I can't argue with that

[Priran]

I bet I could get sage on Alla by posting a thread stating that, yes, Galkan SMNs can in fact Melee with Fenrir out 24/7!.



Edit:

Well, one night I decided to check out the Sanctuary of Zi'Tah because I heard it was a beautiful zone with great music. So, I go chocobo there, and they weren't joking -- it was beautiful. The music was good too. ^^ Then, I looked on the map and sure enough there was a zone called "Ro'Maeve" just north of where I was. I think "Hey, I'll go check that place out as well." So, I continue into the zone with my chocobo and I zone back because my chocobo doesn't want to go into that zone ! Uh oh, that means I have Sneak/Invis myself. I promptly get off my chocobo and zone into Ro'Maeve. It's a chalky-white, bone-like structure with a couple Killing Weapons in front of me. They weren't close enough for aggro, so I slapped on Sneak knowing they detect to sound, but forgetting they detect to magic also. The second I issued the Sneak command, the closest one turned around and ran towards me. I quickly turned back and zoned back to Zi'Tah. When I appeared I only had 31 HP left ( I started with 362 ). He must've hit me for 330+ dmg when I was zoning. So, wow, I knew I was in for a bit of fun. I Cure III'd myself and put on Regen ( even though I knew it wouldn't really do anything if I had got hit again ). I zoned back into Ro'Maeve and the Weapon was further out. I stood exactly where I zoned, not moving, for about 2 minutes waiting for him to walk far enough away so I could run down the right wall and past him and his [further down] buddy. Just as I was about to move, a PLD75/WAR37 zoned right beside me. He put on Sneak, and since he was doing so, I thought I had time so as well. Sure enough, Sneak went through without magic detect. I asked him if he could take me to the Hall of the Gods... he did a /shocked and said "Ok". Then, we were off. Passing countless numbers of Weapons, and meeting up with a few Cursed Puppets. About 40 seconds in, his Sneak wore off. So we found a -- rare -- safe spot and he re-cast... mine was still doing fine. We ran down a few corridors and we met with more Weapons and more Puppets ( they look like BIG robots ). We passed a Magic Flagon ( not sure of the name... could be wrong... it was a Magic Pot ) and I checked here... Lv70. Great. -_- Anyways, just soon after that, we got into an open courtyard with a targetable Spring point in it. He pointed up a set of a stairs. Gave him a /bow and I ran up. Just like all the screenshots and stories I have seen/heard, Hall of the Gods was beautiful. When you first zone it's this very long hallway up about 4-6 sets of stairs. Once you enter the main "room", that's when everything gets pretty. It was great to explore a place without being worried about aggro or getting your lights knocked out. The place is basically just a long bridge over water with light shining down on you and LOTS of statues. It evetually leads you to a targetable Grate. Once you've done enough missions, you're able to trade an item to it ( or something... ) and head on through to Tu'Lia ( the region with the La'Loff Amphitheatre... home of the Crystal Warriors ). An RDM in AF, Lv74 MNK, and Lv73 BLM did this as I was standing there in awe. Just above that was the large statue of Altana. Since the whole zone was rather simplistic ( but still very beautiful ), I turned around and was about to use my Scroll of Instant Warp when I noticed something... Promathia. The God was standing there in all his -- chained -- glory ( get it? Chains of Promathia? ). Snapped a few pics with him and headed into my Items list for my Warp Scroll when this idea popped into my head. Since I was going to be heading back to Yhoater anyways so I could get my RDM back to 30 ( de-lvl from Eco -_- ), why not challenge a Cursed Puppet to a little fight? I asked my LS and they said go for it. Sure enough, I zoned back to Ro'Maeve, and 5 were standing in front of me in the courtyard. I activated Chainspell, and cast Thunder on one of them. He turned around and hit me for 320. Ouch. 32 HP left. My Thunder did 31 dmg to him, and not even a pixel of health gone. Before I could hit my Thunder macro again he hit me once more for 426. Yep, I was dead within seconds. Told the LS, and ghetto warped back to Windurst. What an experience.

lol

[Sekkite]

This thread is OFN.

[Epical]

Don't be jealous, Priran. 8)

[Charla]

I'm 90 clothcraft and I feel dirty now...
At least I've never posted on Allakhazam. I remember back in the day it was actually useful for EQ.

[BRP]

In one of the threads you posted.

[quote:28bcf][quote:28bcf]cookie-cutter, TPburnin, Utsesumi using, rmt inflated society we call FFXI.

I stopped reading here.[/quote:28bcf]Why even post if you did'nt read it... [/quote:28bcf]

[Mifaco]

I bet I could get sage on Alla by posting a thread stating that, yes, Galkan SMNs can in fact Melee with Fenrir out 24/7!.



Edit:

Well, one night I decided to check out the Sanctuary of Zi'Tah because I heard it was a beautiful zone with great music. So, I go chocobo there, and they weren't joking -- it was beautiful. The music was good too. ^^ Then, I looked on the map and sure enough there was a zone called "Ro'Maeve" just north of where I was. I think "Hey, I'll go check that place out as well." So, I continue into the zone with my chocobo and I zone back because my chocobo doesn't want to go into that zone ! Uh oh, that means I have Sneak/Invis myself. I promptly get off my chocobo and zone into Ro'Maeve. It's a chalky-white, bone-like structure with a couple Killing Weapons in front of me. They weren't close enough for aggro, so I slapped on Sneak knowing they detect to sound, but forgetting they detect to magic also. The second I issued the Sneak command, the closest one turned around and ran towards me. I quickly turned back and zoned back to Zi'Tah. When I appeared I only had 31 HP left ( I started with 362 ). He must've hit me for 330+ dmg when I was zoning. So, wow, I knew I was in for a bit of fun. I Cure III'd myself and put on Regen ( even though I knew it wouldn't really do anything if I had got hit again ). I zoned back into Ro'Maeve and the Weapon was further out. I stood exactly where I zoned, not moving, for about 2 minutes waiting for him to walk far enough away so I could run down the right wall and past him and his [further down] buddy. Just as I was about to move, a PLD75/WAR37 zoned right beside me. He put on Sneak, and since he was doing so, I thought I had time so as well. Sure enough, Sneak went through without magic detect. I asked him if he could take me to the Hall of the Gods... he did a /shocked and said "Ok". Then, we were off. Passing countless numbers of Weapons, and meeting up with a few Cursed Puppets. About 40 seconds in, his Sneak wore off. So we found a -- rare -- safe spot and he re-cast... mine was still doing fine. We ran down a few corridors and we met with more Weapons and more Puppets ( they look like BIG robots ). We passed a Magic Flagon ( not sure of the name... could be wrong... it was a Magic Pot ) and I checked here... Lv70. Great. -_- Anyways, just soon after that, we got into an open courtyard with a targetable Spring point in it. He pointed up a set of a stairs. Gave him a /bow and I ran up. Just like all the screenshots and stories I have seen/heard, Hall of the Gods was beautiful. When you first zone it's this very long hallway up about 4-6 sets of stairs. Once you enter the main "room", that's when everything gets pretty. It was great to explore a place without being worried about aggro or getting your lights knocked out. The place is basically just a long bridge over water with light shining down on you and LOTS of statues. It evetually leads you to a targetable Grate. Once you've done enough missions, you're able to trade an item to it ( or something... ) and head on through to Tu'Lia ( the region with the La'Loff Amphitheatre... home of the Crystal Warriors ). An RDM in AF, Lv74 MNK, and Lv73 BLM did this as I was standing there in awe. Just above that was the large statue of Altana. Since the whole zone was rather simplistic ( but still very beautiful ), I turned around and was about to use my Scroll of Instant Warp when I noticed something... Promathia. The God was standing there in all his -- chained -- glory ( get it? Chains of Promathia? ). Snapped a few pics with him and headed into my Items list for my Warp Scroll when this idea popped into my head. Since I was going to be heading back to Yhoater anyways so I could get my RDM back to 30 ( de-lvl from Eco -_- ), why not challenge a Cursed Puppet to a little fight? I asked my LS and they said go for it. Sure enough, I zoned back to Ro'Maeve, and 5 were standing in front of me in the courtyard. I activated Chainspell, and cast Thunder on one of them. He turned around and hit me for 320. Ouch. 32 HP left. My Thunder did 31 dmg to him, and not even a pixel of health gone. Before I could hit my Thunder macro again he hit me once more for 426. Yep, I was dead within seconds. Told the LS, and ghetto warped back to Windurst. What an experience.

lol

While standing in Whitegate yesterday, debating my miserale existence as a Paladin in the new world, I was depressing myself with all of these thoughts...

"I'm so sick of never getting parties. I thought when I obtained Lufaise Meadows this would change. What am I going to do now?"

"Do I level Ninja? Yes, I should but I can't afford it. Ok... I will make gil then."

"Hmmm, I have 300 beastman seals. That is a perfect way to make gil. Now, which bcnms that people actually want to do because are a Paladin useful for... um... next thought."

"Maybe I could do an assault run. Yeah, great idea! I will just ask the Linkshell which assualt Paladins are good for. Oh really? None. Hmmm."

"Maybe I will just log out and forget my level 72 Paladin ever existed."

That is when I met somebody that really made me proud to be a lame duck in this cookie-cutter, TPburnin, Utsesumi using, rmt inflated society we call FFXI. He told me not to be discouraged because he had leveled his Monk for the past 4 months with only a THF sub. Right, sure you can get away with that at lower levels maybe, but he is probably stuck in the 40s like a lot of noobs. But then I realized he was level 75. Wow. Not that I ever doubted a MNK/THF could do it, but I knew people had to be nagging at him for using a WAR sub. You know you are thinking it right now... "but /WAR is more dot! More HP! A second voke! Berserk! Warcry! Double attack!! Even /NIN is better!!". He told me not to get down, he would make me a party. I thought- I'm just a level 72 PLD, I would just be a xp drain in a TPburn or an MP drain in just about anything else due to using cures to keep hate. He told me to keep quiet and he would show me how it worked...

First he invites a 75 BLM. Then a 75 WHM. The WHM notices his /THF sub and gives the run around about why he must suck. The MNK told him he undersood (but didn't change the sub, lol). Then he brough in another 75 BLM. That makes 72PLD, 75MNK/THF, 75WHM, 75BLM, 75BLM.

I seriously had my doubts. I mean I'm willing to try anything, but this setup seemed destined for failure. Then I opened my big mouth... {Refresh}{Do you need it?} The WHM immediately agreed. The MNK sent me a /tell and told me not to open my big mouth. (We were cool at this point, so there was no need for me to be angry... I told him I would give him my complete trust.) He had wanted another voker for his sata. Since there weren't any available, we went with a support job like everybody (except the MNK) wanted- a 75 COR. Then we pick a camp. Halvung Staging Point. I've never been there. He asks the BLM to escort me and the BLM very nicely agrees. We get to camp. Big scary trolls- I couldn't wait for these to tear through my level 72 AF wearing butt. We started off, things moved generally slow. We had plenty of MP, not near enough DD. 3 fights into the party, the COR starts pitching a fit. I knew it was coming. And I was sure this was the end of the party...

The COR uses his warp cudgel and ditches us. Now the MNK has his way. He invites a 2nd voker- no refresh. Another MNK comes, this one /WAR. (I should say that the MNK/THF did not sub his THF after we invited the COR as he decided /NIN was better for him to use if we didn't have a 2nd voker). The MNK/WAR came, and then my eyes opened.

The thought of being an underleveled PLD with a party full of level 75 DDs, is a disgusting feeling because you know you aren't going to keep hate without refresh. The WHM didn't have refresh. The 2 BLMs didn't have refresh. But as I'm sure you can guess what I'm about to say, that didn't matter...

I tanked the trolls old school. Full VIT/DEF gear. Not a single +acc on me. I ate tacos. One MNK did Asurian Fists. The 2nd did Dragon Kick. The 2 BLM magic bursted Thundaga IV. We had cooked trolls. Chain 5. Easy. I was getting over 200xp without my ring at level 72, so I know they were getting more. I had no problem keeping hate. The WHM kept me healed. We were a well oiled machine once everybody got on board.

I'm sure there are pts out there that can get 10k an hour. This one did about 6k. But from what I hear, BLMs don't get invites. The MNK/THF wouldn't have gotten an invite. Hell, he has a level 37 NIN without a WAR sub. I know I wouldn't have gotten an invite. This MNK took 4 jobs that these cookie cutter high level people scoff at and turned us into a valid xp party.

I'm sorry that this story is long, but it really made me feel good inside. I know now that old-school FFXI does really exist, it is just the players that don't want to open their minds to other possibilites- hopefully the term "what is old is new again" will someday be the saying in this game. There were 6 roaming parties in the Mire at the time, but everybody still would have went there if given the choice at the start. With that many people, you would not have made near 6k an hour. So to all of you misfits out there- Dragoons, Paladins, people with subs that would have worked just fine at the NA release- keep your chin up, there is still hope for us.

[Kuponut]

Ew, provoker for SATA

[Machazareel]

It's like two one-legged hobos holding eachother up while they try to hop along to the finish line. :') /tear

[Tilo]

This thread has some merit to it. I decided to check out alla's (I'm guilty of reading it on and off) general ffxi section, and the first post was by Xylia lol.

http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?f ... =44;page=1

after lol'ing at her post, I couldn't help but fall over nearly crying after reading her sig.

G5: O --- Leaping Boots: O
Dark Staff: O -- Emperor's Hairpin: O
Light Staff: O ---- THF60: X (48)
NIN37: X(28) ---- RNG40: X(25)
Raise II: O
WHM AF: All but Head
Noble's Tunic: 0

-Xylia Silverwynd
Server: Fairy

CHRIST ALMIGHTY, SHE HAS LEAPING BOOTS!!!!!1

[Delsan]

EDIT: The like... one post I've ever made on Alla was just a little over two years ago when I was level 30 and I found my way to Ro'Maeve (the big wall'o'text near the bottom). I posted my experience and people rated me up to 5.00, and my name became yellow, and has been since. I was so proud.

i scrolled into your wall-o-txt too hard and split my head open into a million pieces of corn