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  1. #1
    Yoshi P
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    Weirdest person on myspace...ever...8 years later

    Ok, so out of the blue some random guy IMs me. I accept, and what ensued next was just...wow. What a weirdo. Have any of you other ladies with myspace ever had a similar experience?

    HumaneBriefcase: Hey, you're cute
    Spinn180: lol
    Spinn180: thanks
    HumaneBriefcase: no problem...just stating the obvious
    HumaneBriefcase: I'm Drew...I live here in gainesville...and I saw your page on myspace
    HumaneBriefcase: so...hello.
    Spinn180: hello!
    Spinn180: can I see you myspace?
    HumaneBriefcase: I just sent you an invite
    Spinn180: okay
    HumaneBriefcase: I think it's cool that you game....I'm a musician so I don't spend a lot of time gaming....you know, I'm usually dirnking or jamming....
    HumaneBriefcase: Everynow and then we sit down and play a game...
    HumaneBriefcase: last night I was watching eric play prey...
    Spinn180: lol that's all I do is play video games
    HumaneBriefcase: very cool
    HumaneBriefcase: I rock for a living.
    HumaneBriefcase: So, are you my new best friend?
    HumaneBriefcase: can we hang out and do activities together?
    HumaneBriefcase: DId you see my pictures
    HumaneBriefcase: do you think I'm cute?
    Spinn180: you aska ton of questions
    HumaneBriefcase: sorry...I just felt like being a little kid real quick
    HumaneBriefcase: somehow i end up asking all the wrong questions too...
    Spinn180: lol aww
    HumaneBriefcase: Would you mind if I ask a few about you?
    Spinn180: nope
    HumaneBriefcase: So, how did you end up in gainesville?
    Spinn180: college
    HumaneBriefcase: And where are you from?
    Spinn180: maryland
    HumaneBriefcase: Hey...some dude is telling me to stop talking to you
    HumaneBriefcase: can I tell him/her to get fuct?
    Spinn180: lol that's just my friend
    HumaneBriefcase: he seems to think he's more than a friend.
    Spinn180: well he's my bodyguard lol
    HumaneBriefcase: lol...i know about that
    HumaneBriefcase: I do the same duties for my female friends
    HumaneBriefcase: so I take it you ask him to brush me off for you??
    Spinn180: nope
    Spinn180: I showed him all your questions and he IMed you I guess lol
    HumaneBriefcase: lol and he told me to learn to spell...but I didn't make any errors.
    HumaneBriefcase: you might want to give your "bodyguard" an iq/drug test
    HumaneBriefcase: or maybe I did
    HumaneBriefcase: whatever...pride does not permit me to think I am wrong
    Spinn180: congraTulations
    Spinn180: with a t
    HumaneBriefcase: you say tomato
    HumaneBriefcase: i say firebird
    HumaneBriefcase: so now that I've met you and your friend
    HumaneBriefcase: and we all friends now?
    HumaneBriefcase: like best friends?
    HumaneBriefcase: can I hang at a coffee shop wit the 2 of ju.
    Spinn180: uh
    Spinn180: I dont knowwhere any are
    HumaneBriefcase: ever been to maude's? or do you not drink coffee?
    HumaneBriefcase: do you party?
    Spinn180: I EXP party
    HumaneBriefcase: I can hook you two up with all sorts of underground events.
    HumaneBriefcase: exp?
    HumaneBriefcase: I've partied with kevin keys.
    Spinn180: lol dont worry about it
    Spinn180: I dont know who that is
    HumaneBriefcase: skinny puppy keyboardist
    HumaneBriefcase: i'm a musician..i party with bands and models
    Spinn180: cool, I usually hang with wars, priests, and sometimes warlocks and druids if I'm into that sort of thing
    HumaneBriefcase: if you want...
    HumaneBriefcase: i'll wear a costume
    HumaneBriefcase: i was thinking..maybe shredder from the ninja turtles
    HumaneBriefcase: and i'll like..climb around the room
    HumaneBriefcase: and talk in a funny voice
    Spinn180: lol
    HumaneBriefcase: so...do you like gainesville better then...where-ever, maryland?
    Spinn180: no
    HumaneBriefcase: sorry
    HumaneBriefcase: gainesville is a kiddie pool
    HumaneBriefcase: I use it as home base because my parents live here
    HumaneBriefcase: and they have a kick ass house
    HumaneBriefcase: and a pool
    HumaneBriefcase: and my recording studio is in the back yard
    HumaneBriefcase: so...it's kind of like hell to me
    HumaneBriefcase: I'm going to school to become an EMT
    HumaneBriefcase: maybe one day paramedic....like 2 years down the road from now.
    Spinn180: that's cool
    HumaneBriefcase: yeah...my last job was as a biomedical technician
    Spinn180: mine was a waitress
    HumaneBriefcase: yay
    HumaneBriefcase: where at?
    Spinn180: don pablos
    HumaneBriefcase: woo hoo
    HumaneBriefcase: mexicans
    HumaneBriefcase: hey
    HumaneBriefcase: do you drink?
    Spinn180: sometimes
    HumaneBriefcase: ahh....steering clear of becoming a raging alcoholic I take it.
    HumaneBriefcase: oh wait...you're not 21 so, it's a good thing that you don't.
    Spinn180: lol
    HumaneBriefcase: hey
    HumaneBriefcase: your friend is shitty
    HumaneBriefcase: I offered to get him a happy meal if it would chill him out
    HumaneBriefcase: and he just shut up
    Spinn180: hhe went to work
    HumaneBriefcase: ahhh
    HumaneBriefcase: so are we best friends yet?
    HumaneBriefcase: get on my friend's list lady
    Spinn180: I alreadyhave a best friend
    HumaneBriefcase: well, I kick ass
    HumaneBriefcase: I'm the best.
    HumaneBriefcase: k
    HumaneBriefcase: anyway
    HumaneBriefcase: sense you don't have any room for me in your life
    Spinn180: lol aw
    HumaneBriefcase: and you don't want to be my friend
    HumaneBriefcase: even though I'm the shit
    Spinn180: o rly?
    HumaneBriefcase: idk....come to my shows...send me money. I am condom-head, I demand respect.
    HumaneBriefcase: I kick my juice
    Spinn180: what does that mean
    HumaneBriefcase: i don't even know
    HumaneBriefcase: but i fucking said it didn't i
    Spinn180: looks like it
    HumaneBriefcase: jjesus mother fucking boom boom christ
    HumaneBriefcase: Jesus lord almighty beenie weenie
    HumaneBriefcase: i am captain planet
    HumaneBriefcase: aight
    HumaneBriefcase: maybe I'll talk to you another time.
    HumaneBriefcase: thanks for laughing at me
    HumaneBriefcase: and saying I'm unfit to be human
    HumaneBriefcase: maybe one day I'll think of a way to make you feel inadequate
    HumaneBriefcase: and i'll im
    HumaneBriefcase: and say it to you
    Spinn180: how did I make you feel inadequate?
    Spinn180: Ithink you did that by yourself
    HumaneBriefcase: maybe i am inadequate
    HumaneBriefcase: idk, I took the time to say you were cute...even though you're not. j/k
    Spinn180: uh
    Spinn180: thanks?
    HumaneBriefcase: IDK, I thought maybe we had something in comment for a moment
    HumaneBriefcase: and maybe it would be fun gaming with you
    HumaneBriefcase: and of course I'm attracted to you, so I was looking for like..an automatic yes, and instant friend
    HumaneBriefcase: but no. so, I'll just go shopping for a new one.,.yay
    HumaneBriefcase: comment = common
    Spinn180: sorry to slash your dream or whatever
    HumaneBriefcase: dicks are for my friends
    HumaneBriefcase: when they come to my house
    Spinn180: ROFL
    HumaneBriefcase:
    HumaneBriefcase: don't make me call a 900 hundred number sex
    HumaneBriefcase: how do i even know i'm talking to a chick on those hotlines
    Spinn180: they usually sound like a chick I guess
    HumaneBriefcase: i know a girl named beth
    HumaneBriefcase: who does phone sex...she's my friend's aunt
    HumaneBriefcase: i swear i've never called
    HumaneBriefcase: anyway she always makes up the funniest shit
    HumaneBriefcase: like guys who have problems call sex lines and they're like....can you pretend you're fucking a dog
    HumaneBriefcase: so i can masturbate to the sound of you pretending to fuck a dog
    HumaneBriefcase: and so she has to do a lot of weird shit
    HumaneBriefcase: idk
    HumaneBriefcase: I think I'm trying to say give me crazy phone sex or.....don't
    Spinn180: are you a virgin?
    HumaneBriefcase: I've slept with...
    HumaneBriefcase: me and ash were trying to figure this out
    HumaneBriefcase: and she just said she slept with a lot more than I have,...
    HumaneBriefcase: I think I was about to settle on a number like 11
    HumaneBriefcase: and I lost my virginity when I was 17...I remember that
    HumaneBriefcase: so somewhere between 11 and 13 different girls....one of them was a one night stand...and I slept with a good friend of mine once...because she wanted to film a porn with me....
    HumaneBriefcase: idk..why do you only sleep with virgins?
    HumaneBriefcase: are you a virgin? I know the trick to painless defloweration
    Spinn180: no, I'm not
    HumaneBriefcase: oh....
    HumaneBriefcase: did it hurt?
    HumaneBriefcase: oh by the way...I'm clean
    HumaneBriefcase: I have my documents
    HumaneBriefcase: u there?
    Spinn180: yep
    HumaneBriefcase: k..what do you think of that"?
    Spinn180: that you're weird
    HumaneBriefcase: i'm socially ackward
    HumaneBriefcase: So, can I tell you what I think of you?
    Spinn180: okay
    HumaneBriefcase: That you're about to lose someone who is very worthwhile and decent at that.
    HumaneBriefcase: That maybe if you'd shown me more than indifference, I would think you have the capability to be sincere.
    HumaneBriefcase: XGlitterandgoreX: oh you no im not laughing at you to be mean
    HumaneBriefcase: so my stalker friend is throwing a party
    HumaneBriefcase: on the forth
    HumaneBriefcase: I think i'm gona show up
    HumaneBriefcase: and jerk off on the cake while laughing hysterically and then like..start crying...and then shut my eyes and fall down..hit the floor and play dead and if someone touches me
    HumaneBriefcase: I'll scream and then go back to masturbating and laughing hysterically
    HumaneBriefcase: I decided to claim myself as a decent human being, and then let you read what a deviant I am
    HumaneBriefcase: oh and hey, want to go to party?
    HumaneBriefcase: there will be cake
    HumaneBriefcase: and me
    HumaneBriefcase: masturbating while laughing/screaming/crying
    Spinn180: no thanks
    HumaneBriefcase: ok...i'll send you the video
    HumaneBriefcase: hey one time
    HumaneBriefcase: I paid a guy to eat cotton ballls and then throw up
    HumaneBriefcase: and then i drank his vomit
    HumaneBriefcase: while her laid on his back and tried to poop in his own mouth
    HumaneBriefcase: and while he was doing that I threw up on his anus and made it water fall into his mouth
    HumaneBriefcase: while he was eating his own poop
    HumaneBriefcase: ok...well you don't seem to be getting me laid.
    Spinn180: yeah, sorry
    HumaneBriefcase: i see i am useless
    HumaneBriefcase: well, it was almost entertaining to speak with you
    HumaneBriefcase: I hope you enjoy doing friend like activities with your friends
    HumaneBriefcase: and not me.
    Spinn180: I don't have any friends, but you seem a little too weird for me
    HumaneBriefcase: Well, I hope one day you open your mind
    HumaneBriefcase: and give to the world or fucking get out of it
    HumaneBriefcase: people with money lose creativity
    HumaneBriefcase: and that's all i am
    HumaneBriefcase: is creative
    HumaneBriefcase: and your not
    HumaneBriefcase: and if you can't apreciate that
    HumaneBriefcase: you have a small mind that i deem useless
    Spinn180: you're not creative, you're telling me stories about going to parties and masturbating to vomit and cake...
    Spinn180: that's weird
    Spinn180: not creative
    HumaneBriefcase: and you know damn well i get rich off my videos
    HumaneBriefcase: so you are a dumb bitch
    HumaneBriefcase: you think I travel to l.a., new york, germany off my own money
    HumaneBriefcase: no i do stupid shit and film it and make money
    HumaneBriefcase: it's called being creative
    HumaneBriefcase: didn't think of that did you?
    Previous message was not received by HumaneBriefcase because of error: User HumaneBriefcase is not available.
    fucking weirdo

  2. #2
    I Am, Who I Am.
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    Isnt myspace getting sued for 30m and closing down? I hope so.

  3. #3
    Yoshi P
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    Gorefiend

    Well some people on myspace are really awesome...just..the majority are so fucking weird/creepy.

  4. #4
    Melee Summoner
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    5215

  5. #5
    Yoshi P
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fooma
    5215
    HOLY SHIT ROFL I LOVE YOU.

    edit: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA <333333333333

  6. #6
    Saint Daahan Von Quitter the 1st
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    I never gave in to myspace. My best friend is obsessed with it and is always bugging me to make a page, but I'm satisfied with Facebook (PM me if I like you and want to facebook).

    There are a lot of aspects of myspace that are fucked up, so I really wouldn't care if the website got shut down.

  7. #7

  8. #8

    The dude from Skinny Puppy is named cEvin Key. This guy is a moron.

  9. #9
    Relic Horn
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daahan
    I never gave in to myspace. My best friend is obsessed with it and is always bugging me to make a page, but I'm satisfied with Facebook (PM me if I like you and want to facebook).

    There are a lot of aspects of myspace that are fucked up, so I really wouldn't care if the website got shut down.
    Yeah facebook is pretty cool thats what I use, Setsuko made me get a myspace just to harass me at random times. Speaking of which where do you go in Chicago Daahan?

    Oh and Lbelle......sandpaper. That should qualify as the wierdest.

  10. #10
    Old Merits
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    Damn the dude is in the same town as you.. haha if you knew his irl name you could get a restraining order. Good thing you didn't give him more personal info though.

  11. #11
    Yoshi P
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    Gorefiend

    editted the first post to show the entire conversation.

  12. #12
    Banned.

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    GOOD JOB MAKING HIM FEEL INADEQUATE, GOD!

  13. #13

    Facebook is less stalkerish, it seems.

  14. #14
    Melee Summoner
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    Girls get all the fun...

  15. #15

    are you cute?

  16. #16
    Banned.

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    Quote Originally Posted by beastmaster
    are you cute?
    Is this cute?

    http://myspace-924.vo.llnwd.net/0099...95380924_l.jpg

  17. #17
    Old Merits
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    Re: Weirdest person on myspace...ever.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lbelle
    HumaneBriefcase: hey one time
    HumaneBriefcase: I paid a guy to eat cotton ballls and then throw up
    HumaneBriefcase: and then i drank his vomit
    HumaneBriefcase: while her laid on his back and tried to poop in his own mouth
    HumaneBriefcase: and while he was doing that I threw up on his anus and made it water fall into his mouth
    HumaneBriefcase: while he was eating his own poop
    Fantastic.

  18. #18
    Saint Daahan Von Quitter the 1st
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heian
    Quote Originally Posted by Daahan
    I never gave in to myspace. My best friend is obsessed with it and is always bugging me to make a page, but I'm satisfied with Facebook (PM me if I like you and want to facebook).

    There are a lot of aspects of myspace that are fucked up, so I really wouldn't care if the website got shut down.
    Yeah facebook is pretty cool thats what I use, Setsuko made me get a myspace just to harass me at random times. Speaking of which where do you go in Chicago Daahan?

    Oh and Lbelle......sandpaper. That should qualify as the wierdest.
    Loyola Univ.

  19. #19
    Melee Summoner
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    omg ur from maryland too lets buttsex!

    i skipped a lot of it and than saw he drank someone else's vomit so i take ur word he's weird

  20. #20

    HumaneBriefcase: do you party?
    Spinn180: I EXP party

    Lol'd at this for a nice bit, Kudos 2 U~

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