Do you need a hug?

[Kaelan]

217251308

I never played an internet game before, but I got FFXI for a present because my friend wanted me to play it too. After hooking it up I found this gay area.

At first I was scared but over time, I came to love my gay japanese friends. Now i'm saving money to take an anal field trip to Japan.



lol this site is awesome

[Gares]

346619540

i stole my grandfathers tv and blamed it on the black neigbhor

EDIT: This one's not too shabby either

415241840

I saw some pieces of chocolate lying on the floor in the bus today.
I sat in the back, and no one was around. I really considered picking it up and eating it.
But I didn't, not because it's gross that they were lying on the floor and stuff, but because I promised myself not to eat stuff like that for a while.

And now I regret not taking it.

[Btight]

468744303

when i was about 5 i offered my mum a crisp, and she went to take one, but the packet was empty. i thought i'd be really funny but i've felt guilty for the past 15 years

------------
wins

[deivi]

198499133

I live in a small town in Kansas. I've always been the artsy type..painting, photography...while most other guys around here were more jocky. Tons of guys joined the millitary after high school and now almost all of them are in Iraq. They send letters home saying how proud they are of their wives and how it must be hard for them to deal with their husbands being away.

Well do you know how they deal with it?

They fuck me.

Thats right. While you are away getting your ass hot off I'm shooting myself off in your wifes ass. Thank God for George Bush. I have about 4 wives I'm currently fucking because of his great leadership. I voted republican this year and then promptly went to a shipped off wives's home and came in her mouth.

Fact of life #768: If you're in the Army, your gf/fiancee/wife ~WILL~ cheat on you while you're away. No exceptions

[Nayr]

Hi i am a 34 year old latino male and i have a fetish for slightly molded cheese, that just gets me off.... oh boy does it. OH and another fetish of mine are the recently deceased. Sorry its just been on my mind for a while...




I lol'd[/u]

[Malaquist]

Whenever I'm in a bar, and I see a group of girls cruising, I always go straight for the fat, ugly girl they brought along to make themselves look better.

Everyone wins. The slim pretty girls win because they learn a valuable lesson in humility, the fat girl wins because she gets her ego stroked because I picked her up, and I win because nine times out of ten, the girl is so thankful to finally be getting laid that she'll happily do all sorts of *very* pleasurable things to me all night.

And I have to admit, I get a real kick out of seeing the other girl's faces when they realise they just lost a really hot guy to the ugly fattie they brought along as a decoy.

Oh snap.

Every day I stay on the computer from the time I wake up, until about 8 a.m. the next morning. But that's not what's important here, what's important is that this stupid chair I have sucks. It hurts my back more than anything ever and I think it will probably cause irreversible damage someday. I wish my mom hadn't thrown out my good computer chair and given me this metal can of a seat.

Good to have priorities!

[mikazuki]

how obvious is it that i made this up? i think it fits the general character of that site, perhaps not enough sex in it, anyway i hope it shows up on the main page soon.

lately i've been having these weird dreams about my coworkers, there's this one guy who has huge eyes and i see them coming out of his eye-sockets and falling on to a plate, then the fat woman with really bad teeth eats them like pickled onions, she uses one of those little cocktail sticks to just pick them up and pop them in her mouth, her teeth are so bad she doesn't even chew, just swallows.
there's another guy i work with who shuffles around like a cripple, he usually tries to leave the office with me and always wants to hang out or something (no way dude!) he walks too slowly to keep up with me, but what i keep dreaming about pushing him down the stairs, like a conveyer belt he takes the first step and i flick his ankle with my foot and he just goes flying down... then that dream starts again, somedays when i go to work i wonder why he doesn't have bruises and broken bones, i wish he just wouldn't try to be friends, i have my own life ya know?
then there's a really messed up dream i get at weekends when i haven't seen my boss in a while, it starts like a normal meeting but nobody is talking, we all just sit there until my boss says 'ok xxxxxxxx, your turn this week', i don't know what i'm expected to do and for a moment i sit there sweating (i usually wake up and take the sheets off because they're all covered in sweat), then i see on a projection some huge image of naked people dancing, and i realise i'm meant to get on the table and dance naked for all my coworkers. i guess it's because about a year back we all went to this strip club for an office party, i didn't want to go but my apartment didn't have heating at that time and i figured at least it would be warm in the club.
i fell asleep on the bus a few days ago, well i take the bus because i fall asleep, i tried driving to work once and i got into traffic and must have dozed off because i missed about 3 minutes on the clock and some guy was tapping on my window when i woke up. so yeah i was on the bus having this dream and rosa parks comes on and wants my seat, there are loads of others but she wants mine, so i let her have it of course, i don't even know what she looked like but i guess in a dream that doesn't matter. so i take another seat and some small guy with a baseball cap and some facial hair problem wants that seat, so i just stand up and head butt him, i must have been moving around while i was sleeping because a few people were looking at me as i got off the bus, it's not my fault i work long hours and don't get much sleep at home!
i've been having dreams about staples lately, i once stapled the hand of another child when i was in school, he screamed a little and i guess i must feel guilty in my dreams because i'm always using this high-power stapler to gun people down, i can't stop myself i just walk around in the supermarket that i actually shop in when i'm awake or in the mall i go to and people scream and hold their hands or faces and i just keep firing my stapler.
the other dream i have is one i can't get enough of, i have this fantasy (it's quite dirty) about the girl who serves me at the place i get lunch and sometimes breakfast, usually i won't even eat what i get, i just go there to see her, i know her name because it's on a pin directly over her left nipple... sometimes i wonder if she'd have her nipple pierced and wear the name-badge in it.

[Dezzimal]

871711360


Sometimes I fantasize my girlfriend would wear a strap on and fuck me in the asshole and make me her bitch. I'm too afraid of what she'll say if I ask her.

Apparently someone has the same fantasy as me.

That fantasy has a name, its called pegging.

[Fero]

has anyone looked at the forums? It's ridiculous. With inserts such as:

Theres the 'weirdset place you've ever had sex' discussion, so i thought it might be fun to list odd places you've masturbated. I'll start off. I jacked off atleast 3 times while in the psychiatric ward for help with my depression, i did about 8 inches away from one of my two best friends because we can watch porn together because we're just cool like that (she found out a couple days later). Me and my friend did while we were right next to eachother because we were both hard. And i have an addiction, so I have at every hotel/friends house I've slept at since 7th grade

...

[Vinen]

gotta try this

"I sit on my hand till it falls asleep, then masturbate with it. It feels like it's someone is jerking me off "

[Tajin]

328931947: my blind friend wanted me to hook him up with a girl and as a joke i got a gay guy to act as a girl. they've been dating for 3 months now. i don't know if i should tell him or not.




Holy fuck...

[Nightbreed]

311784419

I love my husband with all my being. I wouldn't be alive without him and I feel so low for what I've done. While my husband was deployed overseas I got drunk at a party and had a one-night-stand with an old flame who we'll call Gray. Shortly afterwards I found out I was pregnant. There are genetic similarities for both men and I haven't the heart to request a paternity test though I'm fairly certain she is my husband's. I don't want to hurt my husband (a little late for that, I know) but Gray wants a child so badly and I want to give him one but that would be all I could give. I love Gray but I've always been in love with my husband and could never imagine being with anyone else.
I just want the people in my world to be happy. I confess that I end up doing stupid things in order to make sure they are happy.

[Eaglestrike]

328931947: my blind friend wanted me to hook him up with a girl and as a joke i got a gay guy to act as a girl. they've been dating for 3 months now. i don't know if i should tell him or not.




Holy fuck...

That sounds really fake, unless you're like 10 you should be able to tell the difference in voice levels, I don't care what the gay stereotype is about it, even if you talk with the "gay lisp" and all you still don't sound like a female.

I lol'd at this:

879389660


I turned 18 recently and I have just recently stepped back and looked at my life.

How pathetic.

I play video games, alot, I mean way too much. I'm addicted to this one called FFXI.

On top of that, I remain a virgin. Never have I even dated, let alone kissed a girl. I'm not ugly, i'm just, way to quiet and shy.

This fucking sucks because I swear I would be the best partner for a women. I can get hard every 30 minutes and I am constantly beating off.

[Thevaultdweller]

328931947: my blind friend wanted me to hook him up with a girl and as a joke i got a gay guy to act as a girl. they've been dating for 3 months now. i don't know if i should tell him or not.




Holy fuck...

That sounds really fake, unless you're like 10 you should be able to tell the difference in voice levels, I don't care what the gay stereotype is about it, even if you talk with the "gay lisp" and all you still don't sound like a female.

I lol'd at this:

879389660


I turned 18 recently and I have just recently stepped back and looked at my life.

How pathetic.

I play video games, alot, I mean way too much. I'm addicted to this one called FFXI.

On top of that, I remain a virgin. Never have I even dated, let alone kissed a girl. I'm not ugly, i'm just, way to quiet and shy.

This fucking sucks because I swear I would be the best partner for a women. I can get hard every 30 minutes and I am constantly beating off.

So this is where all those "Wife/gf wants to fuck, BRB 2 min" messages come from while partying.

[RKenshin]

my ex-boyfriend was a loser. i was the best thing going for him, and i can say that modestly.
while we were still dating, i wanted to break up with him, but i felt bad, because then he would have nothing. so, every night, i sort of hope he would die so i wouldn't have to break his heart.

Ouch.

[Tajin]

328931947: my blind friend wanted me to hook him up with a girl and as a joke i got a gay guy to act as a girl. they've been dating for 3 months now. i don't know if i should tell him or not.

Holy fuck...

That sounds really fake, unless you're like 10 you should be able to tell the difference in voice levels, I don't care what the gay stereotype is about it, even if you talk with the "gay lisp" and all you still don't sound like a female.

It was more "Holy fuck as fake as it sounds, i can actually picture some guy trying to do it at least" (yes mankind fails -.-; )

[archibaldcrane]

198499133

I live in a small town in Kansas. I've always been the artsy type..painting, photography...while most other guys around here were more jocky. Tons of guys joined the millitary after high school and now almost all of them are in Iraq. They send letters home saying how proud they are of their wives and how it must be hard for them to deal with their husbands being away.

Well do you know how they deal with it?

They fuck me.

Thats right. While you are away getting your ass hot off I'm shooting myself off in your wifes ass. Thank God for George Bush. I have about 4 wives I'm currently fucking because of his great leadership. I voted republican this year and then promptly went to a shipped off wives's home and came in her mouth.

Fact of life #768: If you're in the Army, your gf/fiancee/wife ~WILL~ cheat on you while you're away. No exceptions

The inverse of this shit is true too yo. Fact of life #769: While your boyfriend/husband is away at war, worried about dying every day, he will find some female soldier or local girl to put it in. No exceptions.