How much does an abortion cost?

[Eaglestrike]

I'm not quite sure how I'd reword it. No, it's certainly not the rape victims fault they got pregnant, but if they aren't able to get to a rape crisis center in a couple days it's their fault for not doing such.

This shows a severe lack of understanding of the shame, humiliation and fear that many rape victims feel, especially in the days following a rape. Many rape victims don't feel comfortable at all telling their closest friends or family members, much less complete strangers what happened to them for a long time following such a traumatic event. Expecting most rape victims to be able to "just snap out of it and do what needs to be done" in that time frame is exceptionally naive and foolish.

Maybe I should just watch some more Law and Order: SVU because I didn't think the majority of people just fell apart and were unable to think at all during a 72 hour period. I consider rape one of the worst experiences someone can have (short of maybe watching relatives brutally murdered) but I do think that people would be able to deal better. The information is given to them now that rape can happen to them, at least last I checked it was, reactions from people who have gone through this health classes should be at least a little better compared to when rape was taboo and women had little (no) rights.

But hey if we're just going to expect all women that get raped (which is some absurdly high statistic, isn't it?) to be unable to do anything I'm not quite sure how we as a society are going to do shit about finding rapists. For the record my ex-fiancee not long before I started dating her was raped and she told me about it (shortly after it happened) and it was a poor experience I'm quite aware of that, so I know this is serious stuff and I'm probably coming off a lot more cold than I mean. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I am coming off as trusting humans on this, I usually don't...

[Devek]

I'm not quite sure how I'd reword it. No, it's certainly not the rape victims fault they got pregnant, but if they aren't able to get to a rape crisis center in a couple days it's their fault for not doing such.

This shows a severe lack of understanding of the shame, humiliation and fear that many rape victims feel, especially in the days following a rape. Many rape victims don't feel comfortable at all telling their closest friends or family members, much less complete strangers what happened to them for a long time following such a traumatic event. Expecting most rape victims to be able to "just snap out of it and do what needs to be done" in that time frame is exceptionally naive and foolish.

That just proves my point.. education and information is the key. If a woman doesn't know to go to a rape crisis center pregnancy is the least of her concerns.

Kind of like when I break my arm I go to a doctor to get it fixed, the mental and emotional needs a rape victim require are extensive and if they don't know to get them they are shit out of luck.

Kind of hits against the pro-choice debate about "her body, her choice" because unless you are somewhat informed you have no ability to make good choices in the first place.

[archibaldcrane]

I'm not quite sure how I'd reword it. No, it's certainly not the rape victims fault they got pregnant, but if they aren't able to get to a rape crisis center in a couple days it's their fault for not doing such.

This shows a severe lack of understanding of the shame, humiliation and fear that many rape victims feel, especially in the days following a rape. Many rape victims don't feel comfortable at all telling their closest friends or family members, much less complete strangers what happened to them for a long time following such a traumatic event. Expecting most rape victims to be able to "just snap out of it and do what needs to be done" in that time frame is exceptionally naive and foolish.

Maybe I should just watch some more Law and Order: SVU because I didn't think the majority of people just fell apart and were unable to think at all during a 72 hour period. I consider rape one of the worst experiences someone can have (short of maybe watching relatives brutally murdered) but I do think that people would be able to deal better. The information is given to them now that rape can happen to them, at least last I checked it was, reactions from people who have gone through this health classes should be at least a little better compared to when rape was taboo and women had little (no) rights.

But hey if we're just going to expect all women that get raped (which is some absurdly high statistic, isn't it?) to be unable to do anything I'm not quite sure how we as a society are going to do shit about finding rapists. For the record my ex-fiancee not long before I started dating her was raped and she told me about it (shortly after it happened) and it was a poor experience I'm quite aware of that, so I know this is serious stuff and I'm probably coming off a lot more cold than I mean. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I am coming off as trusting humans on this, I usually don't...

Between working in TV and having a stretch there where I dated 3 girls in a row who had been raped, this passage is epic. Raped women in TV shows don't shut down, because that's not good for storytelling. The fact that SVU is even involved shows that she went to the police or told someone shortly thereafter = crappy statistical sample. The truth is that rape is the least reported serious crime, for all the reasons I mentioned earlier. For some women the process of prosecuting the rapist just isn't worth the effort they have to go through and the doubts, reliving the event, testifying, etc., especially if they don't report it immediately. If a girl who had just been raped, like an hour earlier came to me and told me it happened, it would be a hard sell for me to say "No, don't take a shower to rinse his come out of you, we'll need that for evidence!" I'd try, but jesus what an evil decision to have to make.

[Devek]

If you don't take her to get help immediately you just ruined her life.

[archibaldcrane]

If you don't take her to get help immediately you just ruined her life.

Yeah, you're right. Nevermind whatever she wants or needs at that moment, who is she to decide what is right for her?

[Devek]

Well, if she wants to just act like it never happened live a fucked up life with emotional scars that never heal that is her choice.

Real friends try not to support decisions like that, but you can't really force someone to do something they don't want to do I suppose.

Can lead a horse to water..

[archibaldcrane]

My issue is with your assertion of "immediately". Morning after pills, rape kits and counseling are the bread and butter of a post-rape path to recovery, and that is what I would help her do. However, immediately after something like this (i.e. the first few hours)...

nevermind. You're being one hell of an all-or-nothing melodramatic "you just ruined her life" type of discussion board poster.

Just nevermind.

[Kyreth]

I guess this is where I play the "It's different here because it's illegal" card. And it is. If someone wants an abortion here, it's usually the guy and well... one of the most common resources is the hanger.

And around here often the girl wants the abortion even more to have lots of sex without consequences.

So tell me. Would you rather have someone with that awful a sense of responsibility to have a child to raise in the first place? It's a frickin' surgical procedure, and not remotely pleasant for a woman to undergo to begin with- but the alternative can be far worse. Children born to parents who can't handle raising one to begin with, much less taking care of themselves.

I personally believe there are far worse fates than not being born for a kid. Like parents who didn't want them in the first place- and for people saying "adoption", there's not enough parents in the world as it is, much less good ones, to do so. Anyone who believes otherwise is welcome to go take a world tour of orphanages.

[Devek]

Took me almost jumping off a building to realize that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't my fault and I should get help.

5 months, a knee surgery, and an almost overdose on pain meds meaning I finally called a hotline and got help for it.... yeah.

Sorry if I seemed kind of insensitive in my earlier posts.. it wasn't that I didn't understand so much as I understand all too well.

Sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm glad you are alive and able to share you experience with others instead of going 6 feet under. I hope you find true peace, freedom, and happiness despite everything that happened.

[Damen]

Speaking of rape, I remember very vividly in middle school a woman came in and talked to everyone about safe sex. She also talked about rape and 'male-rape.' But she said the majority of male rape goes unreported. Honestly I don't know what she meant, and didn't elaborate to us on 'how' men got raped, but I definitely remember her bringing that topic up.

All i know is, if I'm fearing for my life, I doubt I'll have an erection. But I don't see why a woman would want to do anything anal. Maybe she meant male-to-male rape or something. I would google it, but i'm afraid of what might come up and this is a public computer.

[Exoduso]

lol...

[Ryko]

Speaking of rape, I remember very vividly in middle school a woman came in and talked to everyone about safe sex. She also talked about rape and 'male-rape.' But she said the majority of male rape goes unreported. Honestly I don't know what she meant, and didn't elaborate to us on 'how' men got raped, but I definitely remember her bringing that topic up.

All i know is, if I'm fearing for my life, I doubt I'll have an erection. But I don't see why a woman would want to do anything anal. Maybe she meant male-to-male rape or something. I would google it, but i'm afraid of what might come up and this is a public computer.

There you go