Real Life is Serious Business

[dietvanillapepsi]

A lot of people seemed to be focused on the ex-gf. IMO, his biggest problem is his parents. You can choose your friends and gf but you can't choose your parents. Looks like you got stuck with some shitty parents. Not the worst I've heard but definitely below average.

As stated by others, just save your gil...err, money and wait until you graduate from HS. Find some roommates (responsible ones) and move in with them.

Thoughout it all, remind yourself you are responsible for yourself. Don't let your f'ed up childhood be an excuse as to why you can't do what you want to do in life. In other words, just because they said you are a retard and failure doesn't mean you have to act like it. You can still be successful in life.

[Tricen]

You're mom amlost sounds bipolar... Your dad is a douche.. You WILl have women problems, and they will be bad or good. If you feel like everything is moving past or away from you, it probably is. Try something new or don't let things fall apart.

[Miriamel]

IMO, stop worrying about the ex-girlfriend.
She didn't mean what she said about not liking you the whole time, bc otherwise she wouldn't have been with you especially not for months, cuz if she thought you were that bad she wanted have wanted to make herself look bad... It's my guess that she just wanted out of the relationship and figured that making you feel like utter shit would be the fastest route to getting you out of her life. And while it leaves you feeling like utter shit, it did serve her purpose of getting out. but even the biggest bitches in the world wouldn't drag you along for that long if they didn't like you.

I agree.

As for the parents, I've been in a similar situation. My dad's called me fat, lazy and ugly for as long as I can remember. That in essence caused my low self-esteem and led to various other problems I had in high school. It took for me to move country and then give myself a complete make over to get over it.

All the good advice has already been given, really. Stick it out for a while and as soon as you can get out, get out. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Heartbreak is the best time to give yourself a make over and get back in the market.

[Manako]

I'm not saying a psychologist or therapist are never good, I just mean that for the case at hand there isn't much that they can do to help. You would pretty much be paying them to listen, unless you got your whole family together to do a group session. In that case maybe depending on your family it might help.

I think anyone who posted here with the intention of being helpful has given you the best advice you will get.

[sheezow]

A lot of people seemed to be focused on the ex-gf. IMO, his biggest problem is his parents. You can choose your friends and gf but you can't choose your parents. Looks like you got stuck with some shitty parents. Not the worst I've heard but definitely below average.

As stated by others, just save your gil...err, money and wait until you graduate from HS. Find some roommates (responsible ones) and move in with them.

Thoughout it all, remind yourself you are responsible for yourself. Don't let your f'ed up childhood be an excuse as to why you can't do what you want to do in life. In other words, just because they said you are a retard and failure doesn't mean you have to act like it. You can still be successful in life.

his parents dont seem THAT bad, i mean could be a lot worse... to me it seems him being depressed over his friends and mainly girlfriend is now making his problems with his parents to affect him more... id say go out and be more active, gives you some time away from your parents and a chance to hang with friends, also invite your old friends who maybe drifted while u had a gf you spent a lot of time with. also lock your door w/e the fuck you want lol

[dietvanillapepsi]

A lot of people seemed to be focused on the ex-gf. IMO, his biggest problem is his parents. You can choose your friends and gf but you can't choose your parents. Looks like you got stuck with some shitty parents. Not the worst I've heard but definitely below average.

As stated by others, just save your gil...err, money and wait until you graduate from HS. Find some roommates (responsible ones) and move in with them.

Thoughout it all, remind yourself you are responsible for yourself. Don't let your f'ed up childhood be an excuse as to why you can't do what you want to do in life. In other words, just because they said you are a retard and failure doesn't mean you have to act like it. You can still be successful in life.

his parents dont seem THAT bad, i mean could be a lot worse... to me it seems him being depressed over his friends and mainly girlfriend is now making his problems with his parents to affect him more... id say go out and be more active, gives you some time away from your parents and a chance to hang with friends, also invite your old friends who maybe drifted while u had a gf you spent a lot of time with. also lock your door w/e the fuck you want lol

Did you miss this sentence from my post: "Looks like you got stuck with some shitty parents. Not the worst I've heard but definitely below average. "?

...

My mom, I don't know what to do. She yells at me for the smallest things, to the point where she's in tears sometimes; often about things like how I don't want to eat something like cooked mushrooms because I don't like them, or because I accidentally dropped a box on our new hardwood floor. They don't seem like a big deal, but she yells at me for them anyway and says things that are very hurtful and never apologizes. One time I was late for school and she called me a terrible person. When I asked why she said "because you never care about anyone's feelings but your own!!" and I was confused as fuck.

One time I was eating a bowl of cereal and she made a "tsk tsk tsk" sound at me. I asked her what was up and she said "don't put your head so close to the bowl you look like a retard". I was totally thrown back, it was completely unprovoked. I replied with "but... everyone bends over a little but to eat something like soup or cereal. Its just easier". She then compared me to a family of mentally challenged people "she saw on Oprah" who walk on their hands and knees because they don't know how to walk on two feet. I'm not sure if that's true or not but what the hell?

She's said many times that she hates me, or she doesn't love me. My own mother. How can she say that? I've never told my parents I hated them. Ever. Because I do love them.

Is it just me who thinks she's actually crazy? I don't do anything wrong, I don't do any drugs, I don't get into fights (more than once every three years at least), I don't get drunk more than once in a few weeks at least.

My Dad is no better either. All he does is condemn me for my lack of upper body strength. I'm not weak, I do have some muscle (most of my strength lies in my legs, I'm a runner, a biker as a hobby in the summer), but I can't fucking bench press my own weight. He always says how I never help him but he never asks, and when I offer he always refuses. You can't say I never help you when you won't accept it! He yells at me for locking my own door saying that it should never be locked to protect my privacy, and that people always knock. But no one in my family knocks. Ever. Only if the actual door is locked, they'll try to open it then knock, which makes it redundant.

Sometimes I like to look at naked women. Or I just want to be alone. Or I'm doing homework (I often surf BG at the same time). But I can never have this because I always have to be at the ready for when my sister (whos 23 mind you) bursts into my room and talks to me about Japanese shit that I don't know and usually don't care about. I don't hold it against her because she tells me she feels so alienated in this society so I try to listen and care but I can't listen to every time "Yamapi" or "Gackt" takes a shit or something. Or when my mom comes in to yell at me for no reason. Or when my Dad comes in to tell me I'm pathetic. Jesus Christ. I don't know what to do.

My ex-girlfriend is the last trouble that will lead to my own destruction. She led me on for five months then tells me she never actually was attracted to me. Jesus. Fine, whatever. Let's not talk anymore. I don't want to talk to you. It fucking hurts like hell.

...

I didn't have a Leave It to Beaver household but I didn't have my parents call me names or tell me they hate me. You might think his parents are not that bad but they seem pretty bad to me.

[Metah]

Thanks for all the advice... really. I didn't think there'd be this much response.

My parents take good care of me, but... I just wish they wouldn't act so harshly towards me. I mean, I'm not a perfect kid, but I don't think I deserve this. I wish my parents would treat me with some sort of respect since I do treat them with respect. I would never hit my own parents, or tell them I hate them. I just have no will to do so. My mom has said before she doesn't need to respect me.

I don't want to work out anymore than I already do (once or twice a week). I like myself for who I am; I don't think I should have to change myself to meet my father's standards.

And I guess that was the answer I was looking for; you will lose almost all your friends after high school. That's definately suck.

And my ex-girlfriend, when she told me she said she didn't want me to feel bad if she rejected me. It blows my mind, I'd rather have you tell me you weren't interested than lead me on for so long. Its really heartbreaking. I want to get over her, but even if she lied to me... I still find it hard, you know? I thought I had forgotten about her but some of my good friends have been pressing me to talk to her again because they say its sad and childish that I don't want to talk to her anymore. I still resist their efforts. But it seems to have unburied some emotions.

I have taken some advice though.

[Creeps]

Oh, and your friends in high school? Yeah, you won't have any of the same ones by the time the fall comes around and everyone is moving off. Better say goodbye to them now because you probably won't see most of them again. This is a good thing, it means you're moving onto a new stage of your life.

Ignore all the crap around you, focus on yourself. Also, I saw a therapist a few months ago and it really helped. Like Septimus said, they aren't there to fix your problems. They're there to listen when you don't feel like you can talk to anyone else and give some outside insight.

[dietvanillapepsi]

This is true. Of all those high school friends who promise each other that they will be best friends forever, about 90% of them stop keeping in touch within a couple years after graduation. Once you throw your cap in the air, you pretty much won't see them again until your reunion assuming you go to it.

However, the friends you make in college have a greater chance of lasting for years and years. Part of the reason is common interests since you are most likely to hang out with people that are looking to work in the same profession as you. But I think it mostly has to do with maturity.

The person you will be at 21 is going to be a lot different than the person you are now at 17. I think I read once that a person's personality is set around their early 30's.

"If I knew then what I know now" is a cliche but it is so true. Sometimes I wish I could do high school all over again. :wink:

[Septimus]

"If I knew then what I know now" is a cliche but it is so true. Sometimes I wish I could do high school all over again. :wink:

I don't. College on the other hand...

[Intense]

"If I knew then what I know now" is a cliche but it is so true. Sometimes I wish I could do high school all over again. :wink:

Sometimes I wish I could do YOUR MOM over again!!!! HEEEEEYYOOOOOO!!!!!!! :wink:

...

Hrmm..

[Siatdiat]

Ever hear the saying life isnt fair? Tell that to an infant born addicted to crack, or any of the numerous people with real problems. My basic advice is go buy a box of straws and suck it the fuck up. Youll discover when you get older and have to deal with real life that the planets dont allign just for you. Your a member of the human race, your going to have to work, your going to suffer. Thats life, growing up is getting used to that. If life didnt have these downs the ups wouldnt be so sweet.

[markasstrick]

people just get fucked up in the head cause they got no real problems

[Intense]

My basic advice is go buy a box of straws and suck it the fuck up.

WTF Get crazy straws ;3

[Pamelita]

I think a lot of people don't understand the role of a therapist/Psychiatrist. It is not their job to tell you what to do to change your life for the better, they are there to get you to the point where you can fix your own life. It's the whole "you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink" principle. Even if a therapist tells you how to fix your life in 10 minutes, most people will utterly ignore their advice and keep on with their same maladaptive patterns of behavior and wonder why things haven't changed.

/kneel indeed

It varies though, depending on the problems you had. I never thought I needed therapy (was sexually abused for several years by a relative, told my mom and grandma, they ignored me), but when I finally agreed to therapy, it helped me see everything from a different point of view. I now have a positive attitude about human emotion, and how people can react to something they're completely unfamiliar with (regarding the actions of my mom and grandma).

It seems kind of irrelevant to say "omgz your life is so much easier cmpared to starved kids in Somalia". Which is true...but that's not to say that Metah's feelings are not justified.

You've been given very good advice: fuck the world, and focus on yourself. Therapy may or may not help, so that is totally up to you. Focus on the positive things about yourself. Have fun, meet new people, and screw the lolex-girlfriend, sooner or later she will learn her lesson.

[dietvanillapepsi]

"If I knew then what I know now" is a cliche but it is so true. Sometimes I wish I could do high school all over again. :wink:

Sometimes I wish I could do YOUR MOM over again!!!! HEEEEEYYOOOOOO!!!!!!! :wink:

...

Hrmm..

Not if you saw my mom. Err, uh wait a minute...

[Zylo]

Hey man, sorry if this sounds stupid, but I'm posting from my own experience D:. I wasn't feeling so hot for quite awhile myself, then I started getting into lifting, and it really takes your mind off other stuff. You feel great when you reach a goal you've had set for quite awhile; I'm talking a serious mental high. Maybe lifting won't do it for you, but I think you should try to find something that you can set similar goals for yourself in. As I said, it really takes your mind off the bad shit, and you can meet new people that have alot in common with you through such hobbies. Bleh, sorry that was shittily written, I just got up from a sleepless night and am pretty hopped up on Nyquil, hahaha, but I think you know what I'm trying to say; best of luck dude.

[Intense]

"If I knew then what I know now" is a cliche but it is so true. Sometimes I wish I could do high school all over again. :wink:

Sometimes I wish I could do YOUR MOM over again!!!! HEEEEEYYOOOOOO!!!!!!! :wink:

...

Hrmm..

Not if you saw my mom. Err, uh wait a minute...

Dude thats your mom...