Ridiculous ChaCha stories

[LinktheDeme]

Ok, I was thinking of starting a prank thread of people pranking ChaCha guides. I was thinking nothing to severe like goatse or stuff like that but funny things that arent offensive or just plain out retarded. Heres some of mine:

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Ring: ...
Ring: ...
Status: Connected to guide: Anna(57590)
You: Hello
You: I'm looking to buy a time machine
You: So i can go back into the past and win the lotto
Anna(57590): Welcome to ChaCha!
Anna(57590): Hello!
You: Hello
Anna(57590): I will certainly do my best to find you some informaiton.
Anna(57590): *information.
You: Could you find out where i can buy one?
You: Hello
You: ?
Anna(57590): I apologize. I am having connection issues.
Anna(57590): I will transfer you to another guide.
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Ring: ...
Status: Connected to guide: Eric(56251)
Eric(56251): Welcome to ChaCha!
Eric(56251): Hello
You: Hi
You: I'm looking to buy a time machine
Eric(56251): time machine, eh?
Eric(56251): like a clock?
You: Like so i can go back into the past
You: and win the lotto
You: because i know the numbers
You: Hello?
Eric(56251): OK
You:
Eric(56251): easy man these things are hard to find
Eric(56251): Listen.
You: Thats why I'm asking you :D
Eric(56251): If someone has invented a time machine EVER
Eric(56251): in the future or whenever
Eric(56251): it stands to reason
Eric(56251): that people have time traveled to this point in time
Eric(56251): probably thousands of times
Eric(56251): theres probably some here now
Eric(56251): so what you gotta do, see
Eric(56251): is find one
Eric(56251): and hit him on the head with a sock full of nickels
You: BUT WONT HE HAVE SUPER POWERS?
You: AND LAZERS?!
Eric(56251): possibly
You: SHOULD I FEAR THESE PEOPLEZ?
Eric(56251): listen
Eric(56251): lazers and super powers have nothing on a good sock full of nickels
Eric(56251): they wont know what it is they will be like
Eric(56251): whos that guy, whats in that sock he has?
Eric(56251): and then POW
Eric(56251): you have your own time machine
You: Ah!
Eric(56251): but first
Eric(56251): you have to lure them out
Eric(56251): to do this, you have to go to some event that time travelers would want to check out
You: But wouldnt I have to make him tell me where the time machine is?
Eric(56251): like if you were around youd want to go to like, woodstock
Eric(56251): or something thats a good place
Eric(56251): nah if you find him
Eric(56251): its almost definitely nearby, behind a bush or something
Eric(56251): or a rock
Eric(56251): thats how it always works
You: Ah!
You: Thats where they hide it
Eric(56251): obviously
You: WAIT A MINUTE?!
You: DOES THAT MEAN PEOPLE FROM THE FUTURE ARE ALIENS?!
Eric(56251): no
Eric(56251): what the hell are you talking about man
You: ALIENS HIDE THEIR SPACE SHIP IN BUSHES
You: SO IF TIME MACHINES ARE HIDDEN IN BUSHES TOO
You: THERE MUST BE A CONNECTION!
Eric(56251): Well
Eric(56251): IT STANDS TO REASON
Eric(56251): that
Eric(56251): if, sometime in the future
Eric(56251): we make contact with aliens
Eric(56251): that they may share the same technology
Eric(56251): and may also travel in time
Eric(56251): so thats cool
Eric(56251): I guess you could
You: So in other words
You: YOU COULD BE AN ALIEN FROM THE FUTURE?
Eric(56251): pretty much everyone is a time traveler
You: HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH
Eric(56251): thats what Im trying to say
Eric(56251): just hit the next guy you see in the face
You: Where do you live
Eric(56251): until he tells you where his time machine is
Eric(56251): REMULON 5
You: ONOZ
Eric(56251): HAHAHA IM AN ALIEON
Eric(56251): no man
You: YOUR GOING TO INVADE MY PLANET D:
Eric(56251): that was a test
You: IM SCARED NOW
Eric(56251): you fail
Eric(56251): nah im not an alien
You: THEN WHAT ARE YOU!?
You: YOU KNOW TOO MUCH !
Eric(56251): my advice is to go hit some random guy, a police officer, and yell "GIVE ME YOUR TIME MACHINE" at the top of your lungs
Eric(56251): ok?
Eric(56251): good
Eric(56251): Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended

[Jicent]

wtf is ChaCha? mexican food?

[LinktheDeme]

wtf is ChaCha? mexican food?

http://www.chacha.com its a user based search engine. . . You type in what you search for then click in search with guide and people will search for you. If you just hit search you'll just get results from their ChaCha search engine and it sucks pretty much. The guides go through buncha different search engines for you. Pretty much for people who phear the internetz

[Falconblade]

I would laugh if they went through google.

Id work for Chacha if all I had to do was fucking google for lazy people.

[Mala]

I would laugh if they went through google.

Id work for Chacha if all I had to do was fucking google for lazy people.

Thats all you have to do though...

[LinktheDeme]

I would laugh if they went through google.

Id work for Chacha if all I had to do was fucking google for lazy people.

Thats all you have to do though...

Yea basically sums it up, but theres a few other search engines they give you and related links helps out a bit sometimes. anyways MOAR STORIES ONRY PRZ

[Kiro]

Tempting.

[thetruepandagod]

deme how come u never train me on my searches

[Xeno]

im a master chacha porn searcher.

[LinktheDeme]

deme how come u never train me on my searches

Because you never do any searches and the odds of me training you is like 1:100?

[Seraphise]

someone ask to find some child pornography and see if /b/ pops up

[Nuketwig]

I can't believe how much he went along with it.

[Cletis]

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Ring: ...
Status: Connected to guide: Rebecca(17994)
Rebecca(17994): Welcome to ChaCha!
Rebecca(17994): Hi
You: hi
Rebecca(17994): What are you looking for on tv tonight?
You: something that would tell me how to make a flux capacitor
You: i need to make one
Rebecca(17994): On tv?
You: yes
Rebecca(17994): I do not know anything about that, I am sorry, you will have to start a new search with Flux Capacitor in the search
Rebecca(17994): Please
You: i cant
Rebecca(17994): I don't understand
You: i searched flux capacitor before and no one would help me D:
Rebecca(17994): Okay, try again and I will try to pick it up, okay?
You: i need to make the flux capacitor.. is the only component missing ; ;
You: ok
Rebecca(17994): Thank you
Rebecca(17994): Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.
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Status: Guide not located.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Ring: ...
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Status: Connected to guide: Kimberly(65658)
Kimberly(65658): Welcome to ChaCha!
Kimberly(65658): Hi there! Can you please clarify your search for me?
You: hello
You: yes
You: i need a book
You: that will tell me how to make a flux capacitor
You: its the only component left that is needed
Kimberly(65658): It has to be a book? Can it be a website?
You: if i dont make it then my friend wont live D:
You: yeah.. i guess
Kimberly(65658): Well then you should call a doctor or 911.
Kimberly(65658): I am unable to help you.
Kimberly(65658): Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

[LinktheDeme]

Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Ring: ...
Ring: ...
Status: Connected to guide: Robert(54478)
Robert(54478): Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hi
Robert(54478): Hello
Robert(54478): How can I help you?
You: I was wndering if you could help me find Carmen Sandiego
Robert(54478): Again?
You: I've been to Italy and France
You: She escaped me!
You: I think shes in Asia
Robert(54478): hmm, could be
You: OR YOU COULD BE HER?
You: DISGUISED AS A MAN
You: CLEVER!
Robert(54478): now that I can promise is nto true
You: Or you just want me to think that
Robert(54478): I'm really not that clever
You: Can you help me find her then? ; ;
Robert(54478): I will do my best.
Robert(54478): Why do you want to find her?
You: Call up the Chinese embassey!
You: Because shes a thief!
Robert(54478): how so?
You: STOLE ALL THE MONEYZ
You: WANTED FUGITIVE OF THE US OF A
Robert(54478): that thievin woman!
You: LETS GET HER
Robert(54478): I'm in
You: So did you find her yet?
Robert(54478): I'm thinking outer mongolia
You: can you find me webpages to back it up?
You: I dont wanna go on another wild goose chase
Robert(54478): Theya re all in on it
You: OR BETTER YET
You: WHERE SHE IS GOING NEXT!
You: BEAT HER TO THE PUNCH
Robert(54478): HMMM
Robert(54478): Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

Where's Waldo?

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Ring: ...
Status: Connected to guide: Lee(7911)
Lee(7911): Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hi
Lee(7911): Hello
Lee(7911): What can I find for you?
You: Can you help me find waldo please?
You: I've looked everywhere
Lee(7911): I can do my best
You: and havent been able to find him
Lee(7911): Little guy with a red hat, right?
You: Every white guy i see in a red striped shirt with glasses i point out WALDO
You: YES
You: HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
You: IVE LOOKED FOREVER
Lee(7911): Not today
You: ; ;
You: where did you see him last
You: IVE LOOKED EVERYWHERE
Lee(7911): Last time I saw him, he was in an oversized yellow book with about a million other little people
You: I COULD HAVE SWORN HE WAS OUTSIDE MY HOUSE THOUGH!
You: HES REAL
You: THE YELLOW BOOK IS JUST A BIOGRAPHY ON HIS LIFE!
Lee(7911): Man, he's lived quite a life
You: I know
Lee(7911): I'd like to meet the guy
You: Me too
You: Could you help me find him?
Lee(7911): I can try
You: :D
You: I REALLY NEED TO FIND WALDO
You: I THINK HES MY DAD
You: Did you find my dad yet?
Lee(7911): Whoa, that's a bad site
You: Doesnt say where my dad is
You: Shows a sexy picture of him though
Lee(7911): Well, I don't guess I can help you here. Would you like to be transferred to another guide who may be able to help you? : )
You: Thanks, I'm done.
Status: Session ended.
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Status: Looking for a guide ...
Ring: ...
Status: Connected to guide: Ben(57310)
Ben(57310): Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hi I was wondering if you could help me find waldo
Ben(57310): hmmm
You: IVE LOOKED EVERYWHERE
You: Every white guy i see in a red striped shirt i point out WALDO and he says nope try again
You: Are you waldo?
Ben(57310): haha
You: ARE YOU?!
Ben(57310): I have literally gotten this prank 10 times
You: THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER
Ben(57310): I lol'd a little
Ben(57310): but not rly
You: I THINK HES MY UNCLE
Ben(57310):
You: AND HIS LIFE IS IN GRAVE DANGERZ
Ben(57310): what forums do u post on
You: WE NEED TO GET HIM BEFORE THE NINJAZ DU
You: none im a guide
Ben(57310): srsly?
You: And im bored
You: YARLY
Ben(57310): how many searches?
Ben(57310): hahah
Ben(57310): O RLY!?!?!?/1/!?
You: NOWAI
You: I post on http://www.bluegartr.com though
You: its an FFXI forum
You: Because thats the best damn game ever
You: BUT ANYWAY
You: IT DOESNT SAY WHERE WALDO IZ
Ben(57310): haha
You: HALP ME FIND MY UNCLE
Ben(57310): I dont rly like FF
You: OR THE ATTORNY NINJAZ wiLL AREEST AND KILL HIM
You: FOR TREASPASSING WITHOUT A PASSPORT
You: YOU KNOW HOW MANY COUNTRIES HES SNEAKED INTO ?
You: HES WANTED IN OVER 10!
Ben(57310): interesting
You: AND HE HAS MEXICAN BABIES THAT HE NEEDS TO TAKE CARE OF
Ben(57310): lol
You: HALP!
You: Whats the last letter of your name?
You: err
You: first letter of last name
You: and picture
Ben(57310): haha
Ben(57310): Ben B
Ben(57310): how many searchs u have?
You: AND DID YOU FIND WALDOZ YET
You: ?!
Ben(57310): yea
You: ORL Y?
Ben(57310): hes on the back of your head
Ben(57310): see if u can see him back there
Ben(57310): Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

[LinktheDeme]

bump CMON YOU GUYS CAN HAVE FUN TOO YOU KNOW D:

[Senoska]

As stupid as it is to prank call these people I really couldn't resist this one

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Ring: ...
Ring: ...
Status: Connected to guide: Todd(25061)
Todd(25061): Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello Todd.
You: My name is George w Bush, I am looking for weapons of mass destruction. I have looked EVERYWERE but I can't find them I tryed finding them by searching Iraq but that only ended up with people getting hanged ; ; can yo u help me mr chacha guide?
You: Please, condi said I really need to find these, shes a mega bitch when she doesn't get it her way
Todd(25061): Welcome to ChaCha! Please wait a moment while I search for your results.
You: Ok.
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: debbie(18707)
debbie(18707): Welcome to ChaCha!
debbie(18707): hi there! what can I find for you!
You: :
You: This thing working D
You: Ah!
You: Okay Hi!
debbie(18707): hello
debbie(18707): what can I help you with?
You: My name is George w bush, I have been looking for weapons of mass destruction and I cant seem to find them I tryed looking in Iraq but those guys are good at hiding them : I'm thinking about going after Iran, but those guys are kinda mean, can you find me some so I dont have to go and ask Iran?
You: I need to find these, Condi is a jerk when she doesnt get it her way
debbie(18707): yeah...so ive heard
You: Can you help ms. ChaCha guide?
debbie(18707): but with all the new homeland security acts youve passed....i wont be able to help
debbie(18707): gotta watch that itch signature pen
You: Good responce
debbie(18707): lol
You: Hmmm
debbie(18707): did i stump you?
You: I'm stumped easly
debbie(18707): lol
You: I'm really a monkey in a suit, but dont tell anyone okay?
debbie(18707): its our little secret
You: Man, those Iran guys are really mean :
You: What do you think I should do?
You: Hey! You found my picture!
debbie(18707): yes
debbie(18707): unlimited resources when it comes to finding monkeys in suits
You: Indeed.
You: Man condi is going to release the inner bitch on me :*(
debbie(18707): i get the feeling shes rather upotight
debbie(18707): *uptight
You: She has special powers, Tooth gap of justice.
debbie(18707): lol
You: Well Debbie, I guess I will have to seek other help, you are a great guide keep up the good work
You: Congrats on your 50c or what ever you get from this call
debbie(18707): ok then! have fun mr persident
debbie(18707): lol something like that
debbie(18707): Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

This was the search result they gave me:
http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/7...keysuitlv5.jpg
Lmfao.

[Bwelch]

lmao, that was great.

[LinktheDeme]

MOONINITES

Status: Connected to guide: Stephen(52393)
Stephen(52393): Welcome to ChaCha!
Stephen(52393): Hey
Stephen(52393): What are looking for about Mooninites
You: Im looking for where they are
You: BEFORE THEY PLAN THEIR SECOND INVASION OF THE LITE BRITES ONOZ
Stephen(52393): Not in Chicago that's for sure
Stephen(52393): Haha
You: MAYBE THERE IN BOSTON?
You: LETS ASK THE BOMB SQUAD!
Stephen(52393): Ahhh, that's what I meant
Stephen(52393): I'm an idiot
You: You must live in boston
Stephen(52393): Boston is afraid of their own shadow
Stephen(52393): Nope
You: im scurred of lite brites now
You: i have lite brite phobia
Stephen(52393): Becareful I just heard they are planning their second invasion
You: ONOZ RUNAWAY
Stephen(52393): Hahaha silly earthlings
You: ARE YOU A MOONINTE?
Stephen(52393): I wish.
You: Don't invade our planet with your advanced lite brite technology
Stephen(52393): .........
You: FIND ME WAYS TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM THEIR TECHNOLOGY MR CHACHA GUIDE
Stephen(52393): These results say running off three story buildings seem to be the only method of protecting yourself
You: THATS GENIOUS
Stephen(52393): They can't invade our planet if were already dead,
You: BRB GOING TO JUMP OFF A THREE STORY BUILDING
Stephen(52393): Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

George Bush one was really good btw. I haven't found anyone like the first guy I got he was the coolest. Had to go through like 20 guides before I found a cool one to go along with this

[Slott]

I lol'd at the bush one looking for WMDs

[Senoska]

Why is Chacha suddenly highlighted in orange?