Ann Coulter

[Kuya]

And let me guess, none of you have ever referred to any of your friends as gay or anything else in jest?

JESUS DEAR LORD OF MY TETA TREE

YOU ARE FUCKING CLUELESS

[Sylphet]

And let me guess, none of you have ever referred to any of your friends as gay or anything else in jest?

I don't think that's really the point.

As with any perjorative term, be it one used for race/gender/religion/sexual orientation or whatever it's a combination of 2 things that determine the effect:
1: The intent of the speaker (affectionately calling your gay friend a fag vs you actually being a known homophobe and calling someone a fag)
2: The mindset of the recipient.

In this context, Coulter is obviously using it with negative feelings and intent behind it. It was intended to be an insult. The reason that people are so touchy about insults that signal you out because of who you are is because they are different from general insults.
Anyone can be a jerk/asshole/etc, but using a word (like faggot or nigger) that denotes a negative meaning SOLELY based upon your sexual preference or race is particularly demeaning. It says nothing about their actions, only implying negativity based upon a superficial thing.

It's about being situationally appropriate, but always remember there will be someone out there who has a different idea than you about what exactly is "situationally appropriate".

and personally, I've never used the words "that's gay" to describe something negatively, however I am comfortable enough around my closer gay male friends to call them well whatever.. lol (the complexites of the gay community's labels is enough for a whole other thread).