UW Chemistry Test: Hell Question.....

[Aerin]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well:


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As
for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has
to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Jennifer during my Freshman
year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Jennifer kept
shouting 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

[Correction]

That is at least 8 years old.

[Zanz L. Barre The 3rd]

This is fucking stupid, cheating bastard stole an excerpt from Deuteronomy, where it clearly explains that Hell is exothermic.

[archibaldcrane]

ohi-
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...e0c43ece9b.jpg
I was just riding this here dinosaur through this thread, when I happened to find this post engraved on a stone tablet. It's quite humorous.

[Aerin]

That is at least 8 years old.

My bad I didn't know it was that old. I was entering HS about 8 years ago ._. Still find it funny though.

[Minions]

Thats some good shit.

[Kiro]

GO UW WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Meh.

[Jefe]

S'coo, never read that shit before.

[skurlover]

ohi-
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...e0c43ece9b.jpg
I was just riding this here dinosaur through this thread, when I happened to find this post engraved on a stone tablet. It's quite humorous.

The thread ended here. That made me far out of my chair laughing.

[Aerin]

ohi-
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...e0c43ece9b.jpg
I was just riding this here dinosaur through this thread, when I happened to find this post engraved on a stone tablet. It's quite humorous.

The thread ended here. That made me far out of my chair laughing.

I must admit, I found something funny here too.

[Izzy]

Never saw that before today. Not bad lol.

[Tristam]

seen it before, but still makes me lol

[Ramor]

from bash (not sure how old this is):

<lib1790> so, at this college there was an extra credit question "Is hell endothermic or exothermic"
<lib1790> this is what one kid wrote:
<lib1790> First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
<lib1790>As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
<lib1790> Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
<lib1790>So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose (i.e.,Hell is exothermic).
<liv1790>Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over (i.e.,Hell is endothermic).
<lib1790>So which is it? If we accept the postulate given by Ms.Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in hell before I go out with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having a relationship with her, the second case cannot be true. Therefore, hell is exothermic.
<lib1790> the kid was the only one who got credit

[Skyylya]

i've never seen it before, i thought it was funny