Open relationships - Your opinion.

[Tyche]

Nothing better than unattached sex. Tell her "sure" and fuck her while playing the field for better ass, then kick her to the curb. Unless you think you will get emotionally attached, then it could get ugly.

I am emotionally attached to her which is why I'm not doing the open relationship thing.

In that case, focus on the bolded section.

[archibaldcrane]

I know one seemingly happily married couple that are "swingers", and it seems to work out just fine for them. I think two things are crucial for this to work - both people need to actually be the rare types that don't get emotionally attached from sex. They also both need to be emotionally attached to each other in other ways, and be able to truly enjoy the pleasure that their partner gets from swinging. Most people just aren't wired for this. Also, from an ethics standpoint, full disclosure (both to each other and to the 3rd parties) and obligatory condom usage should be the rule of law.

If it works for you however, and it's not just some deluded attempt to "cheat without cheating", then I'm not one to judge. As long as the emotional satisfaction comes from home, not from the "swinging" aspect of the relationship I think it can work fine.

Like most of you though, it would be very difficult for me to be ok with the idea of my girlfriend orgasming with another guy - but I definitely know that I like girls who -are- emotionally attached to sex. I want my cock to be home base.

[Mizango]

Like most of you though, it would be very difficult for me to be ok with the idea of my girlfriend orgasming with another guy - but I definitely know that I like girls who -are- emotionally attached to sex. I want my cock to be home base.

LoL

[Izzy]

Like most of you though, it would be very difficult for me to be ok with the idea of my girlfriend orgasming with another guy - but I definitely know that I like girls who -are- emotionally attached to sex. I want my cock to be home base.

LoL

rofl this post describes how I feel in perfect words.

[Day]

Generally speaking, a bad idea, and will more than likely end in failure and the destruction of your relationship... idk, why even be in the relationship in the first place?

[archibaldcrane]

Generally speaking, a bad idea, and will more than likely end in failure and the destruction of your relationship... idk, why even be in the relationship in the first place?

For swingers, it's because the relationship provides the emotional satisfaction that you need. Relationships serve more of a purpose than -just- providing a avenue for sex.

[Rigor]

Fuck buddies


Why would you have someone you call your girlfriend, that you sleep around on and they do the same? Cut the relationship thing, become friends with benefits until you find someone that you don't want to cheat on.

[Charla]

I know one seemingly happily married couple that are "swingers", and it seems to work out just fine for them. I think two things are crucial for this to work - both people need to actually be the rare types that don't get emotionally attached from sex. They also both need to be emotionally attached to each other in other ways, and be able to truly enjoy the pleasure that their partner gets from swinging.

According to Loveline, it only works if they're both sex addicts. Your explanation sounds plausable, but you could also just be describing what sex addicts seem like to a stranger. /agreed with the rest of the post.

edit: this is about swingers, not "open relationships". The difference is that swingers find other couples instead of acting like they're single half the time.

edit 2: I'm pretty sure Drew was only talking about straight relationships at the time as well. Gay guys are a completely different situation.

[Neosutra]

I kind of like both ends of the spectrum.

On one side, I can seperate sex and emotion and have no religious/societal blocks on swinging/open relationships.

On the other side I am very territorial (not jealous) and like being the central foundation in my wife's physical/emotional life, as I think it is an important part of our relationship and I love her.


Best advice I can give is have your GF/Wife have an open relationship.. with other woman. You dont have to worry about who they bring home because you can just have fun with them too. They still look to your wang as the wang of power. And there is no room for jealousy when your both enjoying the same person.

But good luck finding a nice bi female that is looking for a couple to please, few and far between .

[Charla]

I kind of like both ends of the spectrum.

On one side, I can seperate sex and emotion and have no religious/societal blocks on swinging/open relationships.

On the other side I am very territorial (not jealous) and like being the central foundation in my wife's physical/emotional life, as I think it is an important part of our relationship and I love her.


Best advice I can give is have your GF/Wife have an open relationship.. with other woman. You dont have to worry about who they bring home because you can just have fun with them too. They still look to your wang as the wang of power. And there is no room for jealousy when your both enjoying the same person.

But good luck finding a nice bi female that is looking for a couple to please, few and far between .

It would help if she isn't insane too. Cause that's the easiest way to find the girl you just described, and it gets bad really fast.

[archibaldcrane]

I know one seemingly happily married couple that are "swingers", and it seems to work out just fine for them. I think two things are crucial for this to work - both people need to actually be the rare types that don't get emotionally attached from sex. They also both need to be emotionally attached to each other in other ways, and be able to truly enjoy the pleasure that their partner gets from swinging.

According to Loveline, it only works if they're both sex addicts. Your explanation sounds plausable, but you could also just be describing what sex addicts seem like to a stranger. /agreed with the rest of the post.

Loveline, while occasionally being valuable for bringing "taboo" sexual subjects into the open, also does occasionally suffer from "shock-jock" syndrome, where they find the most outlandish explanation for things.

[Neosutra]

I kind of like both ends of the spectrum.

On one side, I can seperate sex and emotion and have no religious/societal blocks on swinging/open relationships.

On the other side I am very territorial (not jealous) and like being the central foundation in my wife's physical/emotional life, as I think it is an important part of our relationship and I love her.


Best advice I can give is have your GF/Wife have an open relationship.. with other woman. You dont have to worry about who they bring home because you can just have fun with them too. They still look to your wang as the wang of power. And there is no room for jealousy when your both enjoying the same person.

But good luck finding a nice bi female that is looking for a couple to please, few and far between .

It would help if she isn't insane too. Cause that's the easiest way to find the girl you just described, and it gets bad really fast.

Ya, a woman thats not crazy, gl with that one.

Have you ever seen a lesbian couple? Or watched that one show um.. the "L word" or something. Its the most epic drama filled crap pot of stupidity you have ever seen. That is why you have a man there to keep the crazy meter from reaching critical.

(Not to say that men arent fucked up in their own way as well)

[archibaldcrane]

Have you ever seen a lesbian couple? Or watched that one show um.. the "L word" or something.

/facepalm - please don't let television skew your opinions of lesbian relationships...

[layoneil]

What do you define as one?

having a committed relationship where both partners are allowed to have sex with other people and actually are having sex with other people.

What would you consider as rules to having one?

both partners should be doing it, not just one. if it's just one way it will inevitably end very badly. if it's just one person, that just means one partner is highly submissive and the other is a manipulative prick. i'd classify that more as an abusive relationship than an open relationship.

honesty, it should be something that's talked about, if either partner feels the need to start hiding it than it's already failing.

Do you think it's just a bullshit way to get ass?

not really. i think open relationships are possible given the right couple. it would never work for me and it would not work for anyone i know IRL, but i don't doubt it can work for a very small number of people that exist in this world.

and i'm sure that there are people who say they are in an open relationship as a cover to cheat, and that's bs.

if it bothers you in anyway to think about your partner screwing someone else than you're not fit to be in a real open relationship. (which presumably is 99.9% of people in existence today).

[sb]

It takes a lot of trust between the individuals as well as a lot of confidence. If you (or her/him) are the type that has even a remote amount of jealousy or insecurity, it's doomed.

I've been in open an relationship before. They can work fine, especially if you are from different perspectives. For example, I'm 30 years old, and (last year) I dated a woman who was 9 years younger than me. I don't want to, nor have the energy to go out every night and party anymore, but with her youth she did. Being in an open relation allowed us to enjoy some time together and opened the door to something more.

However, this could not have worked if had any doubts that I could trust her to be smart about her decisions (and vise versa).

I will say, such a commitment is not for everyone.

[Neosutra]

Have you ever seen a lesbian couple? Or watched that one show um.. the "L word" or something.

/facepalm - please don't let television skew your opinions of lesbian relationships...

I have been around many lesbian couples and the show is pretty much dead on >.>.

In-fucking-sane.

[Charla]

I know one seemingly happily married couple that are "swingers", and it seems to work out just fine for them. I think two things are crucial for this to work - both people need to actually be the rare types that don't get emotionally attached from sex. They also both need to be emotionally attached to each other in other ways, and be able to truly enjoy the pleasure that their partner gets from swinging.

According to Loveline, it only works if they're both sex addicts. Your explanation sounds plausable, but you could also just be describing what sex addicts seem like to a stranger. /agreed with the rest of the post.

Loveline, while occasionally being valuable for bringing "taboo" sexual subjects into the open, also does occasionally suffer from "shock-jock" syndrome, where they find the most outlandish explanation for things.

Personally I just think that because Dr. Drew specializes in addiction medicine and deals with addicts all day, he chalks 2/3 of stuff up to addiction. Most of the time he's right, given the kind of stuff he's talking about, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time. If the "shock-jock" effect is significant, it's probably unintentional. Adam got all his humor from his own personality (and still does), and Striker just tries to stay quiet until he sees a chance to make a throwaway one-liner. This is part of the reason I stopped listening last year.

[Tonko]

Loveline is a crock of shit on this particular topic. Wiki defines an addiction as "An addiction is a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to the individual's health, mental state or social life"

My open relationship has harmed none of these things, and I am not a sex addict.

[sb]

Agreed, just because you have a freedom, doesn't mean you have to take it. It was incredible to take an open relationship to one thats not open, in that the trust/honesty has been established (at least in my case).

[Kyreth]

Been there, do that.

1) Protection, protection, protection. Use condoms. Period.

2) Understand in advance that there are things each of you enjoy that the other one doesn't or is incapable of, and stop being a jealous prick when other people can ALSO make your partner happy in bed. My girlfriend also happens to like women. I have no problem with that, and if I have no problem with her being in bed with another person, then the sex of that person doesn't matter to me as well. As long as rule #1 is followed. If you have an "open" relationship with someone who's idea of extra sex is barebacking the local mandingo's club, you better be getting everybody tested weekly cause it's not an "open relationship", she's an amateur porn star.

3) I happen to enjoy having a partner that occasionally enjoys other people's company, yet also happens to blow my mind in bed. I happen to think that other people find her hot to be quite the turn-on, and that she finds ME that attractive too.

4) Not at all for everybody. Expect 90 percent of your potential open relationships become exclusive or ex-boy/girlfriends inside of six months. If not more. It really does take a mindset most folks don't get....and I was happily married and exclusive for six years beforehand. (Widower now.)

5) As always, YMMV.