Open relationships - Your opinion.

[Creeps]

People make me fucking disgusted. Fuck open relationships and fuck anyone who thinks they are ok and a good idea.

Ya, that shit is totally dark sided http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...05634137914176.

You remind me of that lady.

sweet Jesus, that video was lol

[noblemountain]

it all depends on the type of people in the relationship. if you're just speaking of picking up a random 3rd person every so often...then no, that probably won't work. if you're talking about involving a 3rd person in the relationship permanently...then it can be an awesome and rewarding thing. i've been in an open relationship like that for 4 years now. my wife and i started out wanting to just experiment with another girl, then we didn't enjoy that because, as has been stated, sex is VERY emotional...whether you're just a "dude wanting to fuck" or not. we then decided to involve her best friend of 14 years and eventually moved her in. now i couldn't imagine life without them both. i do honestly love them both and trust them fully...as do they me.

[XxSlusherxx]

Gender didn't have anything to do with the posts you quoted, and I'm aware that women form emotional attachments much more readily than guys do....

You're right. I should have quoted the OP's 2nd and 4th posts, where he did specify that he meant heterosexual open relationships. Carry on then.

I guess I'll take the fall for this one. I'm straight, and I'm way to emotional about sex for this to work. I don't have strong religious beliefs about sex(anymorelol) but there are straight guys who are wired this way also. In this last year I was involved in the unknowing side of a one night stand, and I was really broken up about it for like 2 weeks/month. w/e all you manly men can make fun of me, but I just wanted to say not all straight guys are lazie faire about sex.

[Greenjade]

To me a relationship is between two people. Two people that love each other and get all their needs met with that person that they're with. And for me, love and sex come hand in hand. I know that some people have open relationships and if it works for them then sure let them have at it. But for me it is something I'm not open to do. If my boyfriend wants to see other people I wouldn't be cool with that and I know he wouldn't be cool with me if I did.

And it is true, women find it hard NOT to fall in love after having sex. Maybe we believe that sex = best way to express love and or feelings.

To the OP, if you are not comfortable with it tell her your not. And if she can't understand that or still insists on seeing other people then she isn't the one for you. Others have suggested to just go for it and play the field to find someone that can meet your needs both emotionally and sexually and leave your current/ex for that person. It may sound cold but I do kinda agree with it. Maybe you'll find a girl that isn't interested in playing games in your relationship.

[Scorp]

I think it is hard for some people to see there way to understanding open relationships as a concept. They require a very specific set of circumstances which most people will not find. Personally for me the main barrier would be jealousy, I get very attached to people that I am with and want them and them only.

I've known open relationships that have flourished and those that have ripped people apart (both as a couple and as individuals). It can be quite destructive for some people to be in love with someone who loves and wants them but also wants to share the relationship with other people.

As someone stated earlier it is all about communication, not just at the beginning but throughout the relationship including each "instance" of openness.

To the OP all the best, if your head isn't in it but your heart wants to be then I don't think it can work (which you seem to know).

[Kuya]

why do you feel the need to sleep around if you live with him? I don't understand that at all. If you love each other and care about each others needs, why are you not enough for each other? Why are you not worth the wait, and vice versa.

Because good sex does not equal good love. You can be in love with someone, but not be sexually satisfied, and vice versa.

I agree with what Tonko and Septimus have sead. Of course i might get jealous, but the key thing here is controlling your emotions just as you control everything, well to some extent. Lets not even get into the idea that it actually may be possible to love more than one person, i know, what a crazy concept. And as for women, not all women become emotionally attached after sex, most women who do, but still are able to differentiate, simply remind themselves that the reason they feel the sentimental attraction afterwards is because of hormones, and not by their own voilation,

[Gregorio]

I think Dr. Tobias Funke, the world's first analrapist, should be consulted.

Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters.

Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people?

Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but.... but it might work for us.

Damn you...the only reason I came into this thread was to post this.

[Fhqwghads]

I could have sworn there were some STDs that you can catch whether condoms are used or not. Might want to think about that before sleeping around with lots of people.

[Tonko]

hmmmmm, only one I can think of that qualify there is HPV (you touch someone who has it, and you have it.) Almost everyone has it, sexually active or not. Do try to backup your assumptions with some sources.... not sure which STDs you were referring too.

Big ones: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes, HIV, Hep B, Hep C. All blocked by condom use, unless yer goin all 2-girls-1-cup and catch yerself a nice case of Hepatitis.

Any I missed?

[Charla]

Yeah it's just HPV and herpes afaik. And there's a vaccine for HPV now.
evidence:

Herpes can be contracted through direct skin contact with an infected person

[Jerseyprophet]

Danger, will robinson.

You'll end up with:

1. Someone catching feelings and otherwise hurt (almost always a girl, if you got her off.)

2. An STD.

[Faris]

Imo, if you are in an open relationship and you got no strong emotions towards your partner, then carry on with it if it suits you. However, if you love your partner, and because of that you'd be jealous of having an open relationship (sharing her/him with someone else) then by god, you need to talk about it with your partner, it can go in 2 ways, either you end it, or your partner understands.

Don't ever accept it because you don't want to lose your partner. the heart will always heal. Personally, if i'm in a serious relationship, I find it extremely inappropriate to "share" myself or her with anyone.
Sorry if i missed the train, and im just talking out of my ass.

[Fhqwghads]

hmmmmm, only one I can think of that qualify there is HPV (you touch someone who has it, and you have it.) Almost everyone has it, sexually active or not. Do try to backup your assumptions with some sources.... not sure which STDs you were referring too.

Big ones: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes, HIV, Hep B, Hep C. All blocked by condom use, unless yer goin all 2-girls-1-cup and catch yerself a nice case of Hepatitis.

Any I missed?

http://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/latex.htm

Alrighty, here's a page that contains info. Basically to sum up, condoms are great vs. HIV, and reduce the risk of a lot of other STDs. Risk reduction isn't the same as 100% scott-free. Engaging in promiscuous behavior still exposes people to risks way beyond what monogamous couples experience. If having frequent sex with many partners is so important that someone is willing to catch a horrible disease over, more power to them. I'll go ahead and stick with no diseases, because it's not worth the gamble in my opinion.

[archibaldcrane]

I'll go ahead and stick with no diseases, because it's not worth the gamble in my opinion.

Do you have every girl you sleep with get a full STD check and wait 6 months after it (of course trusting her not to sleep with anyone in the meantime) before sleeping with her? Or do you just not have sex? Pretty much all sex carries risk that cannot be eliminated.

[Jefe]

"open relationships," = oxymoron, end of story.

[archibaldcrane]

"open relationships," = oxymoron, end of story.

Yeah, you're right, they don't exist.

...

[Jefe]

"open relationships," = oxymoron, end of story.

Yeah, you're right, they don't exist.

...

Playing with scarecrows too much?

[Tonko]

I'm so glad my relationship doesn't exist to you

[Sasarai]

Hey, I love you, but I made love with three other random people this week and its only Wednesday! Bow chicka bow wow.

[Faris]

I gotta mention this, do you consider marrying more than 1 wife an open relationship?
flames/jokes aside.