Relationship Survey

[Obev]

afaik there are no legal restrictions on "dating", only when it comes to sex or taking a minor across state lines. I see 0 weirdness in a 20 yr old "dating" a 16 yr old, only when it would come to sex then it enters a new territory.

What is the point of "dating" anyway? So you guys can become life-long friends who play checkers and go to Arby's every Friday or so you can get to know her well enough to have sex?

can I not have arbys and sex?

You can't have your cake and eat it. Especially not at Arby's.

The answer is whatever feels right. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. If it feels right but isn't legal, wait a year then do it. If she's still not legal after a year's wait, give yourself up to the police.

[Correction]

Let's do this properly

1) Do you consider it "right" for a person between the ages of 18-20 to enter a relationship with a person between the ages of 16-17?

No, because I'm well over the age of 20 and have young relatives at the age of 16, and the idea that they'd date a 20 year old repulses me. If I were 20, the idea would repulse me less. Chalk it up to knowing how much more interesting it is at my age to date women closer to me in years. When you're stupid and 20 you're still in teenager, fuck-any-hole-that-opens mode, 9 times out of 10.

2) What, in your opinion, is the acceptable age difference between two peoples that are in a relationship?

3, because fuck knows if I'll find anything to talk about with a woman who didn't go through the same generational changes that I did. When I was 20 I'd have stretched that gap to 4, tops, because all my life I've found people excessively younger than me incredibly annoying, and people more than 5 years older than me extremely diffcult to talk to. That hasn't changed much.

[Isiolia]

1) Do you consider it "right" for a person between the ages of 18-20 to enter a relationship with a person between the ages of 16-17?

Depends on the situation. I wouldn't really be keen on the wider range there of 16-17 and 20, but 17/18 wouldn't be abnormal to me. It's a lot about maturity, and frankly, most teenagers are very far from mature. They think they are, but like most things about teenagers, they'll usually find out just how very wrong or misguided they were in a few years.

With societal norms, a 20 year old dating a 16 year old means what, that a college student is cruising high schools or something? Not really cool in my book.

I think partly this is also due to the staged ways of western society. One reason it's hard for people to see eye to eye within a reasonably small age range is due to the changing roles in that time. High school to working or college is a big jump in terms of personal responsibility.

2) What, in your opinion, is the acceptable age difference between two peoples that are in a relationship?

I would generally look at maybe around 10 years, possibly up to 15 or so. Past that I think it'd be harder to relate for most couples, and ulterior motives would creep up more. When people start getting a gap that would be a parent/child or even grandparent/child age difference, I just find it really odd.
Can't help but start having a junior/senior dynamic I think at that point. If you have a 35-40 year difference, to me, it's 99.9% due to money/power buying sex. Maybe not accurate, but that's how I see it.

For me personally I would say more like -maybe- 5-6 years, probably closer. I want an equal, someone I can relate to. A counterpart if you will. I simply don't see that happening with someone much older or younger than me. But then again I'm old fashioned, and not yet at an age where most women aren't too physically attractive =P

[Remyo]

With societal norms, a 20 year old dating a 16 year old means what, that a college student is cruising high schools or something? Not really cool in my book.

work? church? etc.

[arlania]

Age doesnt really matter with exceptions, obviously a 12yr old dating a 30yr old. I know people that dated when they were 13 and 23, or 16 and 24. They are completely fine and married with children and a great relationship. It all depends on the people in the relationship. Hell, two people can both be 22yrs old and the relationship can be asstastic. Question is wether your getting into the relationship just to get laid or actually for a commited long term relationship? Who gives a shit really what the law says about a 16yr old dating a 20yr old, there are laws in some states saying that sex out of marriage can carry a jail time of 10yrs min. The government should not tell you who you can and can not love.

[Faris]

I'm personally, against relationships. Most relationships end up in disasters, i know not all. but I go with "better safe than sorry" theory. Big relationships which are followed by big break ups cause alot of emotional despair. makes you look at things differently in a way, sometimes not in a positive way. It's just not worth the trouble to be honest, i'm talking from an experience from multiple relationships and also what i observed from friends, and people i know (being christian, muslim, or atheist).

[drg889]

i dont post much but..eh..w/e

1) Do you consider it "right" for a person between the ages of 18-20 to enter a relationship with a person between the ages of 16-17?

i dont believe an age gap thats that small really makes a difference...ill be 18 soon...and im dating a 16 year old girl. the age gap to me, whether legal or not, isn't big enough to get in the way of two people who love each other.

2) What, in your opinion, is the acceptable age difference between two peoples that are in a relationship?

anything thats obviously acceptable. like within a few years in the teens...and like 5-10 when u get in the late 30s and 40s n such.

[wyrmtung]

The original question is incomplete. How big are her boobs?

[Faris]

The original question is incomplete. How big are her boobs?

thats a lol-er

[archibaldcrane]

((Your Age)/2)+7 = Minimum age of someone you should be dating. Why? Because the formula says so.

Learn it, live it, love it. /thread

[Foustian]

To the guys who say 16-20 is alright, would you let your sophmore/junior in high school daughter date a sophmore/junior in college? Just curious.

I'd have no problem with it, if the guy was a decent guy. If he wasn't, I wouldn't want him dating her even if they were the same age.

[Dmitry]

My stepsister went out with someone who was 21 when she was 16, and the relationship didn't really work, partly because he was still in the teenage mentality, but mostly because she's a whore.

I think once a girl is 20+ the age of the partner shouldn't matter too much, but the main factor I take into account is what the guy wants out of the relationship with a younger girl. Granted, guys tend to be more immature than girls of the same age and they might just be trying to have a relationship with someone on their own level, but a lot more it's just trying to get some cheeks, which can seriously fuck with the girl's head and how she perceives relationships once shit hits the fan.

[Octavious]

Bout time someone said it. Unless you are dating while in high school and one graduates and goes off to college before the other, the two should not mix. A lot changes between a senior in high school and a freshman in college. You realize the petty things people make dramatic in high school become far less an issue when your peers are between the ages 18-22 instead of 15-18. In my opinion, in most cases, anytime a college guy pursues a high school girl he wants some pussy. Not saying this doesnt happen a lot in college as well, but many more relationships come out of high schooler to high schooler and college student to college student than the two crowds mixing.

To the guys who say 16-20 is alright, would you let your sophmore/junior in high school daughter date a sophmore/junior in college? Just curious.

I pretty much agree with EVERYTHING said here, lol. So much goes on in highschool...when you graduate just gtfo of highschool girls...there's insane amounts of girls down on 99% of College Campus's in america, why are you sticking to HighSchool girls? >.> Always seemed desperate to me when guys did that.

[Isiolia]

With societal norms, a 20 year old dating a 16 year old means what, that a college student is cruising high schools or something? Not really cool in my book.

work? church? etc.

Work possibly, especially since a 20 year old college kid is likely working similar jobs to a high school student. Even then, there are labor laws that would limit time that they could work together. High-school age typically are not legally allowed to work certain shifts because of the expectation that they have school.

Likewise, many church groups would move high school graduates to a young adult Bible study or whatnot rather than have them in the youth group.

I don't mean to say that there's no way people could ever hook up unless it was an intentional jump back...but that we have the tradition of 18/high school graduation as being a transition towards being an adult. It makes 16 and 20 a lot more different than the actual gap in years would suggest. In prior eras, things wouldn't necessarily have been that way. But right now that's the norm. We have stages of life defined by education.

[Nyanoh]

We have stages of life defined by education.

I can see truth in that. But what about those who are unable to be educated? There are a lot of people out there that cannot for whatever reasons be educated. They grow up working, learning off the streets and real life experience, and continue working until they die.

An uneducated person at the age of 23 who has 10+ years of real life experienced pitched against a 23 year old educated person in the workforce, where do they stand together? Equals or not? You'd be surprized how savvy and quick the 23 non educated person can do against the academic 23 year old.

[Isiolia]

There are different kinds of education. Someone who spent 18-23 on the streets is going to have a different set of knowledge than someone who went to college, or joined the military, or whatever.

Generally speaking though, in America, the normal situation is that until age 18 or so, an individual has for practical, and legal purposes, someone who is defined as their guardian. There are people who graduate high school early, and those that graduate later, or dropouts...but again on average, you're finishing high school around age 18. Which, perhaps not so coincidentally, is when they're legally responsible for themselves.

The overall system seems designed to ease people into being self-reliant. Even with choices they can (legally) make regarding what harmful products they can buy. Heck, can't even rent a lot of types of vehicles prior to 25 in many states...

While there are the uneducated of today to consider, I was thinking more of other countries or other time periods. For example, if you were a farmer hundreds years ago, without a formal education system, would you be looking at exact ages much? Likely not. Would it seem odd to have a 20-something year old man to marry a 15 year old? Probably not, if that's who was around. Parents might even arrange it. But you could also bet her mentality would be a bit different than a 15 year old American girl today.

[Nyanoh]

Isiolia, you're probably right for the most part. I agree with you about the age at which an average student graduates high school, etc. And I don't think it's coincidence at all that 18 is the tender legal age.

I think the legalities behind it, as you were saying, is a good system to group people together in by age. 16, 18, 19/21, 25 are ages that seem to step into more and more responsibility. I'd be more inclined to use the legal system as opposed to education system, since the education system is really just a bunch of authority in a smaller class, pun intended