Weirdest shit you done as a child

[Deejay]

I stole a Polly Pocket toy from my neighbor and hid it behind my refridgerator. Those things were for girls but god damn were they cool. http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1023/...19c2f6.jpg?v=0

[Mizango]

After one of the many verbal lashings from my parents for me doing something stupid (again) I decided that I had enough, I grabbed two duffel bags and a backpack and packed all my essentials (N64, Playstation, Calvin and Hobbes comics, my pouch full of Victoria Secret cutouts, beef jerky, Optimus Prime, Megazord, and underwear) to head to Canada (my reasons was that snow is cool, and probably Calvin and Hobbes live up there) So I go and call my friend and said that I was running away to canada and asked if he wanted to come, he basically agrees and meet up with me. Before I set off I yell "I'M OFF TO CANADA SUCKERS" to my parents and run out. My friend and I make it approximately 5 blocks before we see my parents car. If you seen "Old School" and recall how they got their recruits, that is basically how they pulled up to us:

"GET IN THE CAR"

"NEVER!!!! I'M GOING TO CHILL WITH CALVIN AND HOBBES IN CANANDA"

:friend goes into the car:

"WHAT THE HELL MAN?!"

"I'm tired, see ya"

"Now you have three choices: You can run away to canada where we will find you and beat your ass, You can walk home to where we will be your ass, or you can get into the car, where we will take you home... and beat your ass"

I run.






But I never really had a chance to get away. And thus ended my journey to Canada.

rofl, Nice one.

I love hearing about those "Running away" stories. I tried to run away and live in my backyard to stick it to my parents, later it got cold and I came back home in which they replied "Oh hey Son, back so soon? ".

[Ikith]

I have a great one that I just remembered...

Once upon a time in Ikiths lief. Ikith and his friends decided to skip the first day of fourth grade! Well we walked around what we knew of the Renton area. We ended up having to go to the bathroom (Number #2 what else?) so we found a place all scattered into a bushy area we wiped our ass with notebook paper. Then we ended up walking to the school before recess. Little had we known one of my friends parents friends had followed us around the Renton area in their van and soon asked us what we were doing. We said we went to renton park elementary and we had a half day so we were walking. Their intentions of what we thought of letting us off the hook was wrong! They took us to Renton park. Before we got to the office my friend admitted that we didn't go to that school and they took us back to Cascade Elementary and forces us into class. Later that day we all got grounded for 4 weeks.

Ah those were the days.

[Kaliden]

Sometimes late at night my mom would send me and my brother to the basement to get the clothes out of the dryer. He and I would bring toy weapons, I'd have one of those plastic katanas you could get from a carnival, and he'd have some Men In Black gun. Our logic was that if monsters would turn real, our weapons would also.

[Koyuki]

I stole a Polly Pocket toy from my neighbor and hid it behind my refridgerator. Those things were for girls but god damn were they cool. http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1023/...19c2f6.jpg?v=0

I had like 2 of them as a kid...fucking things were awesome.

[Avanarius]

Made composite bows in grade 7 and my friends used to shoot arrows with metal tips straight into the air then run away from them. If I remember correctly it would often taken 15-20 seconds for them to come back down. When the arrows hit the ground they were 9 inches dug in.

[Kaliden]

I had a childhood "girlfriend" back when I was like 7. We tried to do everything sexual under the sun. Well we found a medical encyclopedia one time and flipped to the section about sex. In the picture, the man was lying on top of the woman, missionary, but you couldnt see below the waist. So we got naked, I got on top of her, and we layed there. Waiting for something to happen. Something did happen, her mom walked in. Good times

LOL, how did I miss reading this?

[Norelco]

After one of the many verbal lashings from my parents for me doing something stupid (again) I decided that I had enough, I grabbed two duffel bags and a backpack and packed all my essentials (N64, Playstation, Calvin and Hobbes comics, my pouch full of Victoria Secret cutouts, beef jerky, Optimus Prime, Megazord, and underwear) to head to Canada (my reasons was that snow is cool, and probably Calvin and Hobbes live up there) So I go and call my friend and said that I was running away to canada and asked if he wanted to come, he basically agrees and meet up with me. Before I set off I yell "I'M OFF TO CANADA SUCKERS" to my parents and run out. My friend and I make it approximately 5 blocks before we see my parents car. If you seen "Old School" and recall how they got their recruits, that is basically how they pulled up to us:

"GET IN THE CAR"

"NEVER!!!! I'M GOING TO CHILL WITH CALVIN AND HOBBES IN CANANDA"

:friend goes into the car:

"WHAT THE HELL MAN?!"

"I'm tired, see ya"

"Now you have three choices: You can run away to canada where we will find you and beat your ass, You can walk home to where we will be your ass, or you can get into the car, where we will take you home... and beat your ass"

I run.

Psssh, happened as a child? This probably occurred last week.

[Elesirdur]

I had a childhood "girlfriend" back when I was like 7. We tried to do everything sexual under the sun. Well we found a medical encyclopedia one time and flipped to the section about sex. In the picture, the man was lying on top of the woman, missionary, but you couldnt see below the waist. So we got naked, I got on top of her, and we layed there. Waiting for something to happen. Something did happen, her mom walked in. Good times

That's so fucking hilarious.

Mrjingles has by far the most amazing childhood I've ever heard of.

Only really stupid thing I can recall doing as a kid was getting my head stuck at school in Kindergarten. I went to an all-boys private school that was located on a beach. Near the building with the primary grades, K and Grade 1, there was a boat house where the school's fleet of 6 sailing dinghies were kept. The buildings were all built up off the beach a bit and each beach had about a 3-5' cement retaining wall. So one day in kindergarten we're playing by the boat ramp that leads down from the top of the wall to the beach and we discover that there's a gap between the ramp structure and the wall that's just big enough to slid down inbetween - unless you're me. So these two other little kids go through no problem and I try it too. I was always the tallest and biggest kid until like 7th grade. So I slide down and I can get my body down but my head gets stuck. So my feet are dangling and I'm stuck between the boat ramp and the wall and I'm freaking out because I can't get out. So the kids I was playing with bail so they don't get in trouble, the recess bell rings and I'm left out there alone for like the next 5 minutes when the teacher comes to look for me since I'm not in class. They got me unstuck by lifting me up and out and then called my parents in to have a talk about their weird son.

Now that I think about it we did some strange stuff as kids at school on that beach. We used to fight over driftwood and kelp that would wash up on the beaches to make forts. I remember there being a pretty bitter war going on for a few days where my grade split off into these two warring factions where we would go and defend our bases at opposite ends of the beach from the other forces pilfering out stuff, we would whip each other with kelp.

The beach also had all sorts of little tiny sand crabs. We would find them under rocks and in the sand and try and cock fight them. Also, we had a game for a while where you tried to take crabs and stuff them down the backs of peoples shirts or pants if you could manage it. I remember one kid got a crab stuffed down his underpants in the back and he was freaking out that it was biting his ass so he sat down on a rock really hard and crushed the crab against his ass - his mom must have been so wtf when she found dead crab on his underpants lol.

I also remember the awesome playground games we used to play. One game, that was passed down from the older boys through probably decades was whip-war. Basically you took two four-square courts that were about 8' or 10' apart and used a regular playground ball about the size of a cantaloupe or big softball. Two players were on each ends of the four-squares and it played a bit like tennis. Server had to throw the ball into the square diagonally and closest to the middle of the court. Then the other player either received it and threw it back anyway you wanted but it had to bounce in your opponent's court somewhere. This continued until someone on the initially receiving team missed it. Then if you couldn't catch it then you were out and went back in line and it had a rotation a lot like volleyball. There were some cool special shots people named, I always had the best spin shot - I could get it to go like 60* off from it's thrown direction and seriously fuck people up on a serve. Then there was the High-Tower (named for the Police Academy guy lol) where you tried to bounce it really really high so the other person would get disoriented and couldn't catch it. Then there was my favourite, the kamikaze: pretty much all you did was throw it straight at one of your opponents. If it hit them and they couldn't catch it then they lost service or were out. I remember faking this one kid out and wailing him so hard in the face that he got a nose bleed lol

[Misterjingles]

After one of the many verbal lashings from my parents for me doing something stupid (again) I decided that I had enough, I grabbed two duffel bags and a backpack and packed all my essentials (N64, Playstation, Calvin and Hobbes comics, my pouch full of Victoria Secret cutouts, beef jerky, Optimus Prime, Megazord, and underwear) to head to Canada (my reasons was that snow is cool, and probably Calvin and Hobbes live up there) So I go and call my friend and said that I was running away to canada and asked if he wanted to come, he basically agrees and meet up with me. Before I set off I yell "I'M OFF TO CANADA SUCKERS" to my parents and run out. My friend and I make it approximately 5 blocks before we see my parents car. If you seen "Old School" and recall how they got their recruits, that is basically how they pulled up to us:

"GET IN THE CAR"

"NEVER!!!! I'M GOING TO CHILL WITH CALVIN AND HOBBES IN CANANDA"

:friend goes into the car:

"WHAT THE HELL MAN?!"

"I'm tired, see ya"

"Now you have three choices: You can run away to canada where we will find you and beat your ass, You can walk home to where we will be your ass, or you can get into the car, where we will take you home... and beat your ass"

I run.

Psssh, happened as a child? This probably occurred last week.

The fuck man, you said you keep it a secret!! :*( <--- emo tear of shame now.

::edit::

There was this one time where I woke up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason but I look towards my closet and I fucking see this shadow looking thing there... being the brave "SOLJA BOI" I grabbed every armament that I had into that closet, when I ran out of ammo to shoot, I threw my Donatello turtle at it, nothing. Then out of fucking no where my bed just shook for like a good 3 seconds, scared shitless I called out to my parents but their door was closed so here I am with my He-man sword and sheild (the chest piece was on the floor, and after the bed shook I wasn't letting my feet go near the floor) I put up my "ultimate defensive shield blanket" and prepared for my last stand. I realized that I also needed to take a piss really badly... but I wasn't going to go anywhere soon so I just fall asleep. Next day I wake up to a priest blessing our house with holy water, my parents asked for a blessing for me and right when that water hit me I asked

"It's good this stuff burns a little right?"

At least Buddhist have monks that fight this shit... right?

[Kaelia]

I slept with phone books instead of stuffed animals, and carried around bottles of household cleaner wrapped up in blankets instead of dolls. I also had a weird obsession with orange construction cones, and at my first opportunity I brought one home. I called it Cone Baby, and I don't have it anymore.

[Dmitry]

Misterjingles, if you wrote a book about all your childhood stories, I would buy one for everyone in my family. Seriously.

[Eckskalibur]

When I was younger I lived in Philadelphia. Directly behind my house was a fuel company that had a very large gated in area where we would ride our go karts. It was asphalt for the most part but it had a lot of rocky areas that had pebbles and cracked pavement and such back there..

Long story short.. I was riding the Go kart down the other end turned and was on my way back.. well it just so happens my sister was sweeping the rocks and such out of our "path". She goes to move left, I go to move right. She moves right. Bam. I hit my sister with the Go Kart. She flies up in the air and lands on the ground.. haha... Was so funny.

I know I have more.. I just have to think about this haha

[untouchable]

me and my friend did some stupid stuff when i still lived in the philippines

first we played with mud and caught dragonflies.. seemed normal
then we got bored and started playing with matches. we set random stuff on fire, including the interior of a car. we caught this trashy car in the street with a little creak in the window so we threw a couple of lit matches inside and set it on fire

after we got in trouble for that we started playing with spiders. my friend had an old storage shed with lots of old crap and spider webs so we played with spiders.. we knew they can bite but we never knew they had poison ahahaha

[Misterjingles]

When I slept in class, I always had dreams of me being in a video game, best ones were with Sonic the Hedgehog, the Mario Bros, and Captain N. Then when I woke up I would just tell everyone of the fucking crazy adventures we had in them. ::edit:: One of the adventures I can recall was all of them helping me break out of school, blowing it up death star style, and then us making a break for it when the EVIL Dr. Robotik fucking comes in with the feds.

I also thought that April from TNMT and Gaget from Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers was hot, and humped a sock/floor accordingly.

[Poopfacekilla]

I raped a penguin with an Etch-A-Sketch when I was 3.

[Foof]

I don't think I had that weird of a childhood. I think the worst I had done to someone else was bite them on the arm in elementary school for absolutely no reason. I was sent to the principal's office (scary thing as a child, I assure you) and she asked me why I did it and I was like "idk". I also had a younger kid ask me to push them down once, so I did. I then helped them up. Then a teacher came over and I got in trouble for pushing him.

On my school's playground, we always used to pretend that the ground was "lava" and someone was the "lava monster" and we had to run around without touching the ground or getting tagged. Not so weird though, I guess.

I also remember playing with bees. We had a lot of bees in our backyard on a certain day. I had recently dressed up as a bee for halloween and still had the costume leftover. I figured if I used my bee costume the bees wouldn't bother me, so I suited up and headed outside. I can't remember exactly what I did to the bees, but I did get stung. I was pretty sad that it didn't work.

No doctor/family games for me growing up. I was too hooked on legos, TMT figures, and sonic pinball for sega.

[Kiro]

On my school's playground, we always used to pretend that the ground was "lava" and someone was the "lava monster" and we had to run around without touching the ground or getting tagged. Not so weird though, I guess.

Fuck yeah~ That game was awesome.

[Castelak]

I also thought that April from TNMT and Gaget from Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers was hot, and humped a sock/floor accordingly.

Holy shit, you made me remember something messed up I did when I was like 5 as well.

Apparently, I thought Gadget (or w/e her name was,the mouse from Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers) was pretty hot or something. I remember getting a little figurine of her from my cereal box. So for some reason I brought it to bed that night, proceeded to take off my underwear, and have her climb around my dick...

Ok I lied it was like 2 days ago.

[Misterjingles]

When I was little, another way with flirting with the girls (besides humping their socks) was for me to push them off their bikes... well this one girl that lived across the street fucking told me some scary ass shit (as a 9-10 year old)after "flirting" with her. She tells me a story how any house that is colored green would consume your soul and the walls would drip with blood and if you ever went in you'd never come out and how if you go near it, it would drag you in. So for the longest fucking time I would freak out whenever we pass by a green house (back in the day, there was at least one green house per block)



She made me kiss her too... and drink my own blood. NOBODY MAKES ME DRINK MY OWN BLOOD D: (ok, so we liked the coppery taste of blood. Wut?)