Thoughts on this predicament

[Mizango]

If she leaves him for you, she'll leave you for someone else.

I was thinking along the same lines. A Tiger never changes its stripes.

[Charla]

So basically you're saying the same thing as the rest of the thread, but still telling us we're using terrible logic by making logical conclusions.

[Aerin]

He didn't ask us to tell him what kind of person she is. What he did ask was what he should do.

Those kind of go hand-in-hand though. But I agree with most of what you said.

[Maguspk]

Saying she'd leave him for another guy is kind of a bit of a stretch. Things tend to work out that way not because the person is predisposed to this behavior but because they found someone better who they can gain more from. Women are in relationships for social advantages among other things (financial, emotional, etc.) they will usually jump ship if they can get all that and more from someone else, despite what you want to believe. However, to assume they do this just for the hell of doing it or will always do it, is wrong.

For all we know, the OP could be the highest value guy in her life(although it's of doubt obviously since he has to post a thread like this) and he could potentially satisfy her needs for the rest of his life.

Taking a purely evolutionarily driven viewpoint, she simply wants to be with the guy that offers her the most potential to survive longer in our society. Obviously, by you not being with her that alone signals that you aren't the best potential for her to be with. Her flirtation is simple a gauge of your value and she is simply putting her toes in the water to see if it's more pleasant than the pool she's already in; that simple. It isn't a question of predisposition but a question of situational value of the man, in this case the OP, whether she stays, goes or decides to give him a shot.

Overall, just by falling into the trap of not realizing what she's doing you aren't likely to win her over or display you're worth her time, like others have said before, it's not worth your time, you are already at a disadvantage and there's plenty of women out there who aren't with someone who are most likely better than this chick. Women tend to think themselves a prize when you treat them that way, but if you realize vaginas are everywhere you will quickly realize they hold no power over you and when you realize this, things become much easier in terms of "getting the girl".

[arlania]

Age range is 22-25. As for the whole, her leaving me for another guy, yeah ive thought about that a lot. But then again, she tells me what she's seeking for in a serious relationship and its dead on with who I am and what im seeking as well. The only problem is showing her i'm not like the others she's been with and not lying to her. I don't plan to take this any further then it is now, ive told her how I feel about her, that im willing to begin a relationship with her but that it's not going to happen. Her BF is suspicious as hell right now, she's told me he's asked about what's been going on between us, so she's been kind of cold to me for the past few days since he's always looking over her shoulder. And yeah, I could take him so no problems with that lol. I appreciate the advice about just giving up on it, but yeah, like someone people have said, I think it's worth the risk to see what becomes of it if she's willing to end her current relationship.

[Mizango]

Just be careful, alot of us here are speaking from pure unadulterated experience. The choice is ultimately yours when it is all said and done. But keep in mind that a relationship that began with infidelity will often end as such. Either from the actual act or just the constant wondering will eventually gnaw and consume one of you.

Oh and for the record I am not speaking to about "you" per se, my "you" is a generalized term for my example in these sorts of cases. Fucking and romancing someone else's' woman is always very nice, because despite what you think there are no strings attached in the beginning. Kind of like how test driving a car or breaking in a new game is fucking awesome.

Time will erode at that feeling and then the true test will then begin. Seeing someone every few days for a booty call or a phone call here and there is simple to manage around. But when shes moved in, walking around bitching because she is on the rag, the one time she goes "out" with her friends and is late, that ugly little infidelity seed that was planted months earlier will slowly begin to sprout and rear its ugly head.

Just consider every possible outcome and look before you leap. This really could turn ugly in more ways than one. I hope you are as emotionally strong as you are now when you are chasing something that isnt technically "yours". I look down on that in every conceivable way, but that is a discussion for another day.

I wish you the best of luck in your conquest nonetheless.

[arlania]

Yeah I hear you, I was hesitant about the whole thing from the get go when I saw it turning into something more then harmless flirting between friends. Honestly I don't want to be that guy, but the more I got to know the person she's with right now the more I said "fuck it" and went for it. He treats her like she's an object, has to ask to do anything, disregards everything she says and puts her down all the time. That's something I despise.

[kuronosan]

Well, regardless of what you do it's important that you not push into a relationship until her head is cleared out and she's over it all. It doesn't matter if he's suspicious or if it's what you want - you never rush into a relationship totally blind.

Think about each move before you make it, whether you follow our advice or not.

[Takiwaki]

If you think this girl is really worth it you need to look at alot more in terms of her situation.

if she is saying shes got burnt alot you need to ask yourself are you ready to accept that baggage.
why is she still with this other guy? does she still have feelings for him?
whats her feeling for you?
can you handle if shit goes wrong . can you support her. maybe her life there is cus she needs to be there? if she drops everything and come running to you can you handle it?

some women need stability if you cant provide that dont bother. if you can, you can be the biggest asshole, she will stay with you. (yea its kinda foolish but its reality).

You need to realize that if by now she has not done anything that hints to her moving on then dont expect anything from her. move on.

dont be the knight in shining armor. too many of us do this and regret it later on. especially in that situation.

oh and if you are seeing this girl as a trophy. .. DONT do it.

always remember what you get from her and what he gets from her are totally different things. you might end up becoming that guy..

have all the times you guys hung out been just u 2? if so thats not good.

[archibaldcrane]

He treats her like she's an object, has to ask to do anything, disregards everything she says and puts her down all the time. That's something I despise.

I despise people who bitch about relationships to gain sympathy and play the victim all the time, yet refuse to leave said relationship.

I despise this woman you like. Just think about that for a minute.

[Takiwaki]

Are you sure you really like this girl? or the thought of you being the "better" guy for her making you see more that there is?

Careful

[Deftscythe]

He treats her like she's an object, has to ask to do anything, disregards everything she says and puts her down all the time. That's something I despise.

You may despise it, but the responsibility for ending that situation still lies with her, not you.

[Mizango]

He treats her like she's an object, has to ask to do anything, disregards everything she says and puts her down all the time. That's something I despise.

You may despise it, but the responsibility for ending that situation still lies with her, not you.

He treats her like she's an object, has to ask to do anything, disregards everything she says and puts her down all the time. That's something I despise.

I despise people who bitch about relationships to gain sympathy and play the victim all the time, yet refuse to leave said relationship.

I despise this woman you like. Just think about that for a minute.

Exactly the point(s) I was attempting to make.

[Plow]

I was going to do the whole chessy oh it'll be perfect now that's what you wanted to hear right thing but sep beat me to it.

Once she gets away from that ogre of a man and moves in with you (you paying the expenses of course),

Sadly, this is most likely the simple fact of what it comes down to. From someone that's been there and done that, I'm telling you either listen to the sensible advice or enjoy being broke and heartbroken when she moves on to the next guy.

Love is really not as crazy as you might think, it just makes people act that way.


p.s. Just to give you one last chance if you ignore everyone, remember this when she says (or hell even you decide to offer) "maybe I can stay with you while I find a place near there?"

[Aerin]

He treats her like she's an object, has to ask to do anything, disregards everything she says and puts her down all the time. That's something I despise.

You may despise it, but the responsibility for ending that situation still lies with her, not you.

He treats her like she's an object, has to ask to do anything, disregards everything she says and puts her down all the time. That's something I despise.

I despise people who bitch about relationships to gain sympathy and play the victim all the time, yet refuse to leave said relationship.

I despise this woman you like. Just think about that for a minute.

Exactly the point(s) I was attempting to make.

Quoted again to emphasize the point being made.

Even if the relationship really is that terrible, she shouldn't need another guy to latch onto in order to break off the relationship.

[Viq]

This girl's an easier duck than 90% of Krye's lady friends.

[guartz]

Do you really wanna be the "Other guy/girl?"


If yes, then you know what to do.

[wyrmtung]

All of this sound advice goes out the window if the chick is amazingly hot and a freak in the sack, right?

[Aerin]

Only if you're under 18. At that point in your life you still need a few good ass kickings to learn from.

[Plow]

All of this sound advice goes out the window if the chick is amazingly hot and a freak in the sack, right?

that was what I thought too, sadly, still not worth it