Clarification on Sexual Harassment

[Deejay]

However, a victim of harassment need not always confront his/her harasser directly, so long as his/her conduct demonstrates that the harasser's behavior is unwelcome.

thanks for showing exactly what i just said.

nope, you dont.

yea thats clearly what you said. From what he's been posting he seems to go along with the conversation, if she doesn't know it is unwanted then how can she know it's sexual harassment?
It is important for the victim to communicate that the conduct is unwelcome, particularly when the alleged harasser may have some reason to believe that the advance may be welcomed.

He fucking said to you that he LEAVES right after she asks him those questions. I don't think he can make it any more obvious without hurting her feelings.

[izembo]

thats basically how it should be. sexually explicit things are private matters and not to be made public and making people uncomfortable at work. no one wants to hear it.

[BIGSTIC]

However, a victim of harassment need not always confront his/her harasser directly, so long as his/her conduct demonstrates that the harasser's behavior is unwelcome.

thanks for showing exactly what i just said.

nope, you dont.

yea thats clearly what you said. From what he's been posting he seems to go along with the conversation, if she doesn't know it is unwanted then how can she know it's sexual harassment?
It is important for the victim to communicate that the conduct is unwelcome, particularly when the alleged harasser may have some reason to believe that the advance may be welcomed.

Umm if going along means I was unloading my material from her truck while she was balabbing about how her husabnd was a lazy ass prick and her feet hurt from working three jobs and she wishes some strong man would just take her away for the weekend. On some occasions it would take upwards of 15 minute to unload her truck and of course because of her size she had a bad back and couldnt lift anything. So she could do alot of talking. The one time she asked if I could take her away I gave her a look of "no way in hell" and told her I had more important things to do. After that time I always sent my employees out to unload her truck.

Yes she makes me feel uncomfortabe, but half the people in the US piss me off. And no I am not "pressing charges" persay but they want me to give a writen statement about what happened. Yes they want her gone but its hard to fire someone when they show up early, leave late and actually dont really fail at there job. Her personality is why she is not really liked in the field I am in.

[Remyo]

However, a victim of harassment need not always confront his/her harasser directly, so long as his/her conduct demonstrates that the harasser's behavior is unwelcome.

thanks for showing exactly what i just said.

nope, you dont.

yea thats clearly what you said. From what he's been posting he seems to go along with the conversation, if she doesn't know it is unwanted then how can she know it's sexual harassment?
It is important for the victim to communicate that the conduct is unwelcome, particularly when the alleged harasser may have some reason to believe that the advance may be welcomed.

He fucking said to you that he LEAVES right after she asks him those questions. I don't think he can make it any more obvious without hurting her feelings.

he said he finds something so he can leave, if he has an excuse to leave she may not think it's because of what she's saying, people can be pretty oblivious to these things and think they're having a comfortable conversation. Don't get me wrong I don't think what she is doing is right, but I don't think it is full on sexual harassment.

[Remyo]

However, a victim of harassment need not always confront his/her harasser directly, so long as his/her conduct demonstrates that the harasser's behavior is unwelcome.

thanks for showing exactly what i just said.

nope, you dont.

yea thats clearly what you said. From what he's been posting he seems to go along with the conversation, if she doesn't know it is unwanted then how can she know it's sexual harassment?
It is important for the victim to communicate that the conduct is unwelcome, particularly when the alleged harasser may have some reason to believe that the advance may be welcomed.

Umm if going along means I was unloading my material from her truck while she was balabbing about how her husabnd was a lazy ass prick and her feet hurt from working three jobs and she wishes some strong man would just take her away for the weekend. On some occasions it would take upwards of 15 minute to unload her truck and of course because of her size she had a bad back and couldnt lift anything. So she could do alot of talking. The one time she asked if I could take her away I gave her a look of "no way in hell" and told her I had more important things to do. After that time I always sent my employees out to unload her truck.

Yes she makes me feel uncomfortabe, but half the people in the US piss me off. And no I am not "pressing charges" persay but they want me to give a writen statement about what happened. Yes they want her gone but its hard to fire someone when they show up early, leave late and actually dont really fail at there job. Her personality is why she is not really liked in the field I am in.

sounds like she thinks you two are decent acquaintances. I've heard plenty of those type conversations where I recently worked.

[BIGSTIC]

However, a victim of harassment need not always confront his/her harasser directly, so long as his/her conduct demonstrates that the harasser's behavior is unwelcome.

thanks for showing exactly what i just said.

nope, you dont.

yea thats clearly what you said. From what he's been posting he seems to go along with the conversation, if she doesn't know it is unwanted then how can she know it's sexual harassment?
It is important for the victim to communicate that the conduct is unwelcome, particularly when the alleged harasser may have some reason to believe that the advance may be welcomed.

Umm if going along means I was unloading my material from her truck while she was balabbing about how her husabnd was a lazy ass prick and her feet hurt from working three jobs and she wishes some strong man would just take her away for the weekend. On some occasions it would take upwards of 15 minute to unload her truck and of course because of her size she had a bad back and couldnt lift anything. So she could do alot of talking. The one time she asked if I could take her away I gave her a look of "no way in hell" and told her I had more important things to do. After that time I always sent my employees out to unload her truck.

Yes she makes me feel uncomfortabe, but half the people in the US piss me off. And no I am not "pressing charges" persay but they want me to give a writen statement about what happened. Yes they want her gone but its hard to fire someone when they show up early, leave late and actually dont really fail at there job. Her personality is why she is not really liked in the field I am in.

sounds like she thinks you two are decent acquaintances. I've heard plenty of those type conversations where I recently worked.

But this is the whole issue. I NEVER asked about her life. I never gave a shit. Had i seen her on the street outsid of work I probably would have made a rude comment and laughed. But due to WORK I really try to respect everyone. First time I met her she seemed nice and I made some comment along the lines of "guess I will be seeing you alot now" just because we get a delivery at least every other day. If she took this to mean "I wana fuck your brains out" how was I supposed to know. I mean it is a work situation. Not like you just come out and say STFU. And honestly like I said before I figured she did it to all the contractors. All I am asking is had the roles been reversed would I already be fired? Cause if thats really the case then fuck it she is gone.

God I hate this political correctness bull shit.

[Remyo]

However, a victim of harassment need not always confront his/her harasser directly, so long as his/her conduct demonstrates that the harasser's behavior is unwelcome.

thanks for showing exactly what i just said.

nope, you dont.

yea thats clearly what you said. From what he's been posting he seems to go along with the conversation, if she doesn't know it is unwanted then how can she know it's sexual harassment?
It is important for the victim to communicate that the conduct is unwelcome, particularly when the alleged harasser may have some reason to believe that the advance may be welcomed.

Umm if going along means I was unloading my material from her truck while she was balabbing about how her husabnd was a lazy ass prick and her feet hurt from working three jobs and she wishes some strong man would just take her away for the weekend. On some occasions it would take upwards of 15 minute to unload her truck and of course because of her size she had a bad back and couldnt lift anything. So she could do alot of talking. The one time she asked if I could take her away I gave her a look of "no way in hell" and told her I had more important things to do. After that time I always sent my employees out to unload her truck.

Yes she makes me feel uncomfortabe, but half the people in the US piss me off. And no I am not "pressing charges" persay but they want me to give a writen statement about what happened. Yes they want her gone but its hard to fire someone when they show up early, leave late and actually dont really fail at there job. Her personality is why she is not really liked in the field I am in.

sounds like she thinks you two are decent acquaintances. I've heard plenty of those type conversations where I recently worked.

But this is the whole issue. I NEVER asked about her life. I never gave a shit. Had i seen her on the street outsid of work I probably would have made a rude comment and laughed. But due to WORK I really try to respect everyone. First time I met her she seemed nice and I made some comment along the lines of "guess I will be seeing you alot now" just because we get a delivery at least every other day. If she took this to mean "I wana fuck your brains out" how was I supposed to know. I mean it is a work situation. Not like you just come out and say STFU. And honestly like I said before I figured she did it to all the contractors. All I am asking is had the roles been reversed would I already be fired? Cause if thats really the case then fuck it she is gone.

God I hate this political correctness bull shit.

I had a class about sexual harassment the other day and we discussed that this is how a lot of guys get trapped we tend to take a smile or some gesture from women as invitation to further something. I would just tell her to keep the conversations to a professional level and that you are uncomfortable with the topics or something like that.

[Septimus]

Honestly, I would stay out of it. Her company will make you into the bad guy and that her getting fired was 100%, totally, and fully your fault.

Don't be a patsy to the man.

[archibaldcrane]

If they are asking you to be honest, be honest. Don't exaggerate or diminish anything. You are not being asked to "get her fired" you're being asked to be honest. What they do with that is not your business or concern. Don't give them "what they want", just answer their questions honestly - you don't have to worry about P.C. bullshit, that's their deal.

[Bardicrune]

All you are being asked to do is to file a complaint against her with her boss. You have a right to file a complaint with her company for any reason. You aren't firing her. You are one of their customers and deserve to be treated with respect. I would personally file the complaint as "inappropriate comments" and request a new delivery person.

[wintersquall]

All I am asking is had the roles been reversed would I already be fired? Cause if thats really the case then fuck it she is gone.

if all you want is the answer to this question, the answer is probably yes if a female worker had mentioned that you had brought up these topics repeatedly.

don't screw around with harassment (sexual or racial), there's very few things that can get you fired quicker these days.

i have a lot of years in corporate environments. personally, i would let it go for now. if this other company approaches you again, get your own company's HR dept involved and explain the situation to them. let the suits hammer it out, and if you have to make a statement absolutely, positively INSIST that it be anonymous.

cya is the rule of teh day here.

[BIGSTIC]

Well just to give an update.

They transferd the lady into the warehouse so nobodey has too see her anymore. However her boss called me today and asked if I had thought about the situation anymore. I pretty much told him if they want to fire her then fire her. IF she turns into crazy bitch and throws legal action at them then I would consider helping them out. If they cant fire her on the sole reason of she single handedly got 4 other contractors to never call their supply house then this world is more fucked up than I originaly thought. Hell I fired a guy 2 weeks ago cause the owner of the house he was working on overherd him tell his co-worker that he would "bend that bitch over and shove his dry cock up her ass". I asked the worker and he fessed up sying he was just joking but still that shit dont fly with me. Work is were you go to be professional, leave your childish games at home.

[archibaldcrane]

He had to go with the dry cock didn't he. I'm sure you would've let him off with a warning if he'd said "lubricated cock".

[Norelco]

He had to go with the dry cock didn't he. I'm sure you would've let him off with a warning if he'd said "lubricated cock".

Haha.

[isladar]

So much of what I hear reported (anecdotally) regarding sexual harassment, as well as being in 'uncomfortable' situations myself, seem rarely to come down to actual malicious intent. I do not subscribe to the idea that there is a smoke-filled room where balding, overweight white men suffering from erectile disfunction sit around and plot to keep anything with a vagina from progressing the business world.

I think it has much more to do with a fundamental deficiency in people's capacity to translate their inner dialogues and interactions to an external playing field in a manner that is courteous of other participants. Not a courtesy of 'hold your fork this way', but the kind of courtesy that means you are factoring in the reactions, emotions, and presense of those you are with into your output.

Most times when simply appalling things come out of people's mouths it is from sheer social retardation -- they have not learned any kind of self-regulation or discipline with regards to their actions in public. And unfortunately, upon facing that, most people let the behavior continue, rather than directly confronting it.

The thing is, I hear a lot from people (both male and female) who express their discomfort or distress at someone else's actions, words, or tone. But I'm not the perpetrator, so why are they telling me? Because they are just as deficient in communicating as those who've offended them.

In a business situation, the point at which you engage the corporate machinery to deal with interpersonal issues is well after you have said "This [action/event/comment] makes me extremely uncomfortable. What can we do to rectify its occurance?" to the person engaging in it. The back-handed political manuevering, the "so-and-so is out to get me", the discomfort only lasts so long as both parties agree to not engage in any kind of direct interaction.