BG : helps kill since 2008

[Nystul]

go to a home improvement store.

Buy a jug of roundup, a funnel, and a drill.

Drill hole in base of trunk.

Insert funnel. Pour in undiluted roundup.

Repeat as often as possible.

[Lauzian]

If I remember correctly from the previous topic, copper is a tree killer. Drive a copper nail into one of the roots. It promotes the growth of tree killing bacteria and acts as an infestation point for the bacteria.

[Khamsin]

just go cut the shit down in the middle of the night, your grandma cant down a fucking tree and unless the other old bitch has cameras there's absolutely no way anyone would be able to prove that in court, nothing they could do.

Just don't tell your grandma you're going to do it and establish an alibi.

Also, post from jail because you suck at crime.

How's this:

Wait until your grandma is out of the house, playing bingo or shopping or something, where she'll have either witnesses or receipts that can prove it. Give a friend you can trust your credit card and have him go someplace 30-60 minutes away and order coffee or something. Have him sign your name and keep the receipt.

Meanwhile, you put a chainsaw and some black clothes and ski mask in a large cylindrical bag like the kind that folding chairs for camping come in, or a large enough duffle bag. Then, go to a secluded area near her neighbor's house, and take the chainsaw and clothes out of the bag. Leave the bag. Put on the clothing and ski mask, and run up to her neighbor's yard with the chainsaw and run a line down the trees, sweeping a path with your chainsaw. Throw some of the pieces in the middle of the road and make a scene. Don't take too long, though, just one pass with the chainsaw and toss the branches into the road as you run out. Laugh maniacally if you must. Hopefully someone saw or heard everything that went on. Now run like hell to your hiding spot and put the black clothes and chainsaw back into the bag, and walk calmly away from there back to wherever you parked and drive away to meet your friend and get your credit card and receipt.

[HAcoreRD]

There's many ways to do this.

1.) Get smashed, then drive your car through the 'bush fence'

2.) release termites on it

3.) dig a trench then bury the 'fence'

4.) Gasoline will take any thing out, especially at $4 a gallon!

5.) fire, lots of it.

6.) Anal sex with your grand mother, by doing this, your grandmother's lawyer son and his mother will move away in disgust.

[Melena]

at least out here, we had a problem where the neighbor had a tree and it's roots were fucking up our yard. neighbor didn't want to remove tree. contacted city, city made neighbor remove tree. Also if the tree's are degrading the value of your grandmothers property, you may be able to legally sue to have the tree's removed and a real fence installed.

[Metah]

Piss on the roots every day. We cant live by drinking piss.... trees shouldn't as well.

Or call Hexxus from Fern Gully, he fucks trees up.

No, pissing on the the roots would actually help the trees.
urine has N
N grow stuff
Urine grow stuff ok

I'm going to start peeing on my nephew so he'll grow up to be big and strong ok

ok

[tonyg]

Thanks for all your answers, ill keep this thread bookmarked so I can come back and evaluate all your ideas (EVEN THE BUTTFUCKING GRANDMA FOR THE LULZ). I'll probably start with the bleach needle in the roots for a couple of weeks and see if it works. The only problem is that the tree has to be VISIBLY dead. I mean the branches falling off and shit, because that old hag knows the tree is worthless and fugly but she keeps it just to be right and piss off my grandma and ain't nobody gonna piss off my grandma.

PS: If the bleach shit doesn't work, i'll just fuckin cut down the motherfuckin tree and ram it into her window and run away. It's an old people area so they all sleep at 8PM so I'll never get caught by someone randomly peeking by the window (and I'll have a hat!)

Post more suggestions if u got em and thanks to everyone that did!

[Nystul]

The umm...the roundup actually kills the root system. You're far better off using that than bleach

[kyod]

My family had this same issue and we did this:

My suggestion would be to get a surveyor to clearly identify the property boundries.

Turns out their shittastic bushes were on OUR property so then we could cut that shit down freely without legal reprocussions.

I advise against removing them yourself, because they might retaliate much worse, and if her son is a lawyer I gurantee he'll haul your ass to court and say the "coincidence" of the bushes dying right after your grandmother complains about them is far too much of a coincidence and thus, your grandmother would get the blame.

[Apelila]

If its close to the property line, find the roots on your side and as someone else said drill into them and go go poison.

The 'install your own fence' option is the best one probably; there isn't shit her shitty neighbors can do.

If you really want to one up the old bitch, get some vine's (Honeysuckle if it will grow in that area, Ivy's) and plant some making your own natural fence just, but do it so that it will grow towards the dying tree thing. It will eventually grow over , and it's not your fault because it can establish a root system separate from the original, so to get rid of it they'd have to tear it off the tree's. And trust me from having done that before, it will either A: Accomplish your goal of getting them to trim the dead parts away or B: Make even MORE work for them while you laff and enjoy sweet smelling flowers.

[Olo401]

Roundup is the way to go man.. that stuff is brutal. I'd recommend straight herbicide if you can find some, but you have to be careful with it because it'll kill ANY grass & plants around the tree too and make the soil pretty much unplantable for a few years.

Another thing that works really well is wasp/hornet spray. One year there was this big ol' paper wasp nest over near my shed, so I sprayed the bitch down with some of this stuff. No hornets for the next three years, and the out-of-control ivy that was starting to cover the shed curled up dead within the next couple days.

[Ricker]

Copper kills trees as well, you can put copper nails into a tree and the tree will die but it's not an instant process it takes time I would assume.

[tonyg]

Alright I did my research on Roundup and it seems that if I inject it directly into the roots, it'll ease the effects on the plants surrounding it, so if I find some I'll do it this way. The problem with copper nails is that I don't want any proof of any outside effect that killed her plants. The old bitch won't do tests on her old trees but if she rips them out and sees copper nails in them she'll know it was foul play and she'll go apeshit. My grandma is too well...errr... a grandma? so she doesn't wanna kill the trees by herself she only complained and kinda winked when I said I'd kill em for her.

The fence thing is out of the question because her tree fence isn't something you'd wanna cross, but see it as a way to keep other people from entering your property without having a big metal thingy on the sides. We don't wanna put a fence either because my grandma's garden is a rock garden (idk what the word is in english but in french its a rocaille) which is basically 3 levels of rock with dirt on top and the plants grow on the dirt, it's way more beautiful than a normal ground-level garden and it kind of makes you think you're not in the city (it goes up to around 5ft).

I'll necrobump the thread in around a month with the results but I'm still open with your experiences and other techniques to pwn the old bitch.

THX BG :nikkei: :nikkei: :nikkei:

[Khamsin]

My family had this same issue and we did this:

My suggestion would be to get a surveyor to clearly identify the property boundries.

Turns out their shittastic bushes were on OUR property so then we could cut that shit down freely without legal reprocussions.

I advise against removing them yourself, because they might retaliate much worse, and if her son is a lawyer I gurantee he'll haul your ass to court and say the "coincidence" of the bushes dying right after your grandmother complains about them is far too much of a coincidence and thus, your grandmother would get the blame.

If the prosecutor were Miles Edgeworth, maybe. But in our legal system, they'll have to have proof.

[Norelco]

Listen, you said yourself your grandmother would pay for a new fence. Just cut that shit down and let them sue you. A dead or dying tree can't really cost all that much.

If you were willing to pay anyway, let them sue you.

[archibaldcrane]

Listen, you said yourself your grandmother would pay for a new fence. Just cut that shit down and let them sue you. A dead or dying tree can't really cost all that much.

If you were willing to pay anyway, let them sue you.

Stop spoiling the fun.

Roundup to the roots, post pictures in a month.

[Khamsin]

Listen, you said yourself your grandmother would pay for a new fence. Just cut that shit down and let them sue you. A dead or dying tree can't really cost all that much.

If you were willing to pay anyway, let them sue you.

Stop spoiling the fun.

Roundup to the roots, post pictures in a month.

Does the neighbor fertilize or water or otherwise take care of the trees? Put roundup in her watering can or fertilizer bottle.

[tonyg]

Listen, you said yourself your grandmother would pay for a new fence. Just cut that shit down and let them sue you. A dead or dying tree can't really cost all that much.

If you were willing to pay anyway, let them sue you.

Stop spoiling the fun.

Roundup to the roots, post pictures in a month.

Does the neighbor fertilize or water or otherwise take care of the trees? Put roundup in her watering can or fertilizer bottle.

She doesn't take care of the trees at all, they're basically bug nests that fuck up my grandma's top 1/3 of the garden and just pouring Roundup is out of the question because her trees are on the top of the garden so the water will go down and it'll just kill all the garden, that's why I wanted to inject the shit directly into the plant, to just do selective killing, and not a fuckin WWII genocide kind of killing

[Asy]

fuck the trees, get her worse

go vandalize her home/car/everything she loves