Most Embarrassing Moment during Sex (NSFW)

[Aemora]

I have a few too.

I start dating this girl, Rhianne, and times start getting a little rough in my family, so I decide to take a break and being British, opt for a classic "Caravan ['Motorhome'] getaway", it's my grandmothers and she just gave me the keys so the two of us go down and we decide to take the dog. This caravan is on a slightly small slope, with rocks and shit underneath with some wood blockers to stop the caravan rolling down the hill.

So we're there a few days and the gas runs out. So I call up the Maintenance guys to give us a new bottle, and the go get one and plug everything back up, everything is fine and dandy. Meanwhile, during the course of the week, we keep "unwinding" wherever and whenever we can - basically a week of sex away from everyone else, with the odd walk on the beach. Anyway...

One night, after a night in of playing various drinking games by ourselves, I leave the door open and the dog goes missing. I, loving my dog Peppie, go off wandering the camp site trying to find the Dog, calling it's name in a panic and frantic state. Eventually, when I give up and head back to wake Rhianne up and make her look for the Dog with me, I find Peppie in the bushes burying something. I give the dog a row, and we go back inside. I get naked, wake Rhianne up anyway, tell her my story, and she wants to "relieve" my stress.

So we're at it now, going like crazy, and she's not a light girl, and she wants to do it on the windowsil of a Caravan, so I agree, and she starts screaming and shit wants wants it harder and faster. So I give the girl what she wants. Then the dog starts howling.

Ignoring the dog, we keep going at it, but the dog doesn't stop howling and starts barking frantically. Then I hear a smash in the Kitchen area, we stop, and hear a constant creaking noise... Fearing someone broke in, I grab a towel, wrap it around me and armed with the dog's plastic ball-throwing stick, I investigate. Except, I'm a bit uneven on my feet, perhaps due to the amount of alcohol consumed.

I get to the kitchen, and the dog's on the front windowsil, curtains open, and the whole world is flashing by through the windows.

It turns out, the dog had been removing the stones and bits of wood from underneath the Caravan, burying them somewhere else, and when the Maintenance guys came and replaced the Gas, they didn't lock the thing securely in place, leaving important brackets not secured to the concrete base, and that night, our rhythmic motion set the Caravan literally moving down the hill and about a good 500 yards away from where it was meant to be. There were newspaper articles written up on it and everything. A lot of damage was done to the Caravan because the water line got ripped apart too <.<

Best time in my life, ever.

[archangelic]

One time i was getting intimate and then I got a BSOD. So i have to format my computer. So embarrased.

[InDaButt]

Ugh, brought back way too many memories.

One time, my Ex-GF was giving me head, I was just sitting on the couch and shit. She was really good at that, and this time she just wanted to finish me off, which I was cool with. I told her I was about to go and when she pulled her mouth off it little did she know she had it pointing right at my head and it... yeah.. I bet you can piece the rest of that together.

Never again will I question why most girls don't want a hot load on their face.

[Brill Weave]

Best time in my life, ever.

[archibaldcrane]

Never again will I question why most girls don't want a hot load on their face.

Pussy, it's not that big a deal. When I shot myself I was like "this is the thing girls complain about? Fuck them"

[InDaButt]

Yeah but just the feeling of that hitting your face, lol.

I sounded horridly gay at that moment right there.

[TacoTaru]

Great thread. Brill's stories are the best. =D>

[Skyylya]

I don't really have any embarassing stories that took place during sex but I guess the most embarassing sex related story was when I was in high school and dating this catholic schoolgirl who was really a big bitch but she fucked good.

Well we were at my house one day and went at it pretty hard, nothing bad about that. But later in the day I was out throwing a baseball with my brother and he overthrew me, so I turned around to go get the ball and had what I guess looked like pretty big claw marks all over my back.

Can't say I was embarassed he saw that but i was walking around my house all day w/o my shirt on and who knows who else saw it.


Also got caught by her parents a couple times, one of which was on a trip that they flew me to bermuda with them when they re-newed their wedding vows. Well me and her thought it was the 'romantic' thing to do it on the beach only to notice not to far into it that her parents were taking a casual stroll down the very same beach and we've both got sand up our cracks and nowhere really to hide.

[Skyylya]

oh wait, I remembered a few things.

Not embarassing for me but for the girl I was with. She was in a sorority I was good friends with and me and another kid on our baseball team brought her back to his dorm room for a little tag team action. Well he just got a blow job then went and passed out and I took her for the rest of the night, was fun. Well in the morning we're both in his roomates bed naked and about to get up and get dressed. Well she hop's out of bed naked and is standing in the middle of the room looking for her clothes when who walks in but my buddies roomate. Needless to say she's standing there in a panic as he closes the door hastily and leaves and she jumps onto the bed and throws her head in her hands and whispers to me...."That boy goes to my church back home". I got laughs outta that for a long time.


Another time, kinda embarassing for me. I was with another girl in the same sorority after a night at a bar and we went back to my room. Well we were both pretty drunk and fooling around having a good old time. For a little back-story I had a small ass twin size dorm room bed that was about 4 feet off the floor at the base, so pretty high up. We were going at it and I was on top, well we wanted to switch positions so we did a little roll over, only instead of rolling in place we actually rolled over sending me flying out of the bed onto my almost brand new guitar with my ear snapping it in two. That was the end of our session as I sat there buck ass naked holding two pieces of my guitar held together by nothing but the strings crying cause I had just broken my guitar.

Good times.

Oh yeah, one time after a solid night of drinking and partying with a girl I woke up wearing nothing but a tee-shirt with my legs through the arms holes and my junk hanging out the neck. Don't remember who she was or how that happened.

I think that's it for me.

[trinironnie]

Swear I read that someones first time getting head was by a Trans. I remember one time I was getting head by this Egyptian chick and her teeth was fucked up (Desperate), it was her first giving head so it was pretty bad, her teeth kept clipping my stuff so it was hurting a lot. The chick was scared of tasting cum or me loading in her mouth, so while she was doing it a tiny drip of cum went in her mouth and she tasted it little did I know my skin was caught in her fucked up teeth so she starts freaking out and jumps up to wash her mouth and cuts my dick which made me scream like a little girl. Few minutes of cleaning my dick I lied and said I got to pick up my nephew and left her, funny thing she tried to kiss me goodbye.

[trinironnie]

What else. Well, my first blowjob was from a transsexual I didn't know was born a man. But I digress.

ROFL found it >< may i ask what race was she?

[Remyo]

Ok now for the last story. Which isn't so much embarassing as it is an exercise in my own personal shame. We've all had the rebound girl. This is that story. I had just broken up with my girlfriend Mary(not the one with the broken arm, a different one) and I was looking for some ass. So I called up this girl Heather who I always kind of fucked around with but never actually DID anything with. She wasn't exactly anything to write home about. Snaggletooth and not real pretty, but a decent useable body.

So I give her a buzz and ask if she wants to come over and watch a movie. Of course the answer is yes, so I immiediately begin my meticulous planning. Grab two champagne glasses and a bottle with a bucket of ice, and I wait for my booty call to arrive.

Heather shows up and we start watching a movie for about twenty minutes before we start making out pretty heavily. So I'm taking her pants off as she's going down on me and I'm just thinking, alright not a bad day. Take the panties off as she's mumbling fuck me in my ear. But of course you know the routine. Before you dive in you test the waters. So I test the waters. And my hand comes back smelling like something died on it.

My brain starts racing. Had I finally met my match? Did I finally run into the dreaded stinky pussy? Yes, I had. But I'm a trooper. So I continue on and try to push my way through it.

I'm laying on my back as she's going down on me. And all my mind is thinking about is the stench coming from my hand. I'm literally on one side of the bed with my arm stretched out on the other side.

Whole time I'm trying to devise ways to avoid it. Do I put my arm under a pillow? No, because then my pillow will smell like a dead rodent. Do I lay on top of it? No, because I will smell like a dead rodent. So the whole time she's doing her thing, I'm slowly losing my hard on. And then finally I pull out a classic.

She looks up and asks if I'm ok. I respond with the following.

"I'm sorry, I'm not ready yet. It's not you, it's me."

And I promptly tell her to get dressed and basically kick her out. Story over? No, not quite.

I go downstairs into my basement and I get that heavy duty industrial soap out. You know the kind that smells overwhelmingly of oranges and has the little chunks of grit in it? I douse my hand in it and scrub the living fuck out of it.

It doesn't work. Nothing works. My hand smelled for four days afterwards. The really sad thing is that I still kept stringing her along for another year in the hopes the stinky pussy went away. But everytime we started going at it, I broke it off because I was afraid of the smelly puss.

ummm....where do you live? that name and description is...familiar.

[Grievear]

When I was a sophomore in high school I was dating a younger girl. I drove her home after school and she wanted to fool around. Things started going well for me and she took my pants off to give me head. She had never given head before but it wasn't bad.

I finished and she pulled back, open mouth full of cum, with a look of panic in her eyes. She tries to talk and it's all mumbling. She goes and gets a sheet of paper and writes a message "I can't close my mouth." I freak out and try and figure out what to do, I try and close her mouth and it just hurts her so I stop. She writes "take me to my dads office," mouth still open, I swear I can still see some cum in her mouth.

She writes down directions to her dad's office and I drive her there. I had never met the man. I go in and tell him that I was driving her home and she yawned and freaked out. I said bye and got the fuck out of there. As I was almost to my car his assistant came running out saying he was supposed to get her backpack and books. Shit. I just shrugged and got in the car and sped off.

Weirdest part of the story is that this was 6-7 years ago and I still occasionally run into the girl because we ended up going to the same college. Every time she introduces me as the guy who broke her jaw with his dick. I get looks of awe from her friends as they ask "this is that guy?!" I've had requests to see my dick on the bus. I mean who the hell tells all their friends 6-7 years later the story?

[Melena]

ehh, guess I'll post mine for shits and giggles.

Me and my x are in the back seat of the car, in a parking lot that was blocked by tree's, so hard to see into it at night. Well we were both a little kinky and eventually her hands were tied behind her and she was gagged. Well across the street behind the tree's was an apartment complex. Some lady while looking out the window was able to slightly see my car (was white) and so she got into her car and drove through the parking lot and promptly saw my car shaking. She then calls the police claiming there is a rape happening in the parking lot. During this time were both oblivious to the car driving through the parking lot. Next thing I know is the bright lights shining into the car, a knock on the window, and a gun pointed at my head. After a few minutes of explaining and id checking, the cop tells us that some dumb over reactive woman claimed a rape was going on and advised us to find a better spot next time and to have a good evening.

[Royal]

This was really awkward. My girlfriend wanted to give me head but she wanted to use a condom, a chocolate flavored condom. I didn't really care but I didn't think a condom would matter too much and I would still feel it. I was terribly wrong. It ended up taking me an hour and 45 minutes to finally come. She now blames herself for it and not the condom and hasn't done it sense.

[BIGSTIC]

Back in the day when I worked on the road doing construction I got wasted and met a little lady. Took her out to the back seat of the truck, laid her down and went to town. Passed out in the front seat and she caught a ride home with friends. Wake up in the morning to one of her girlfriends knocking on my window. She hands me $50 and says her friend was sorry for the previous night. I have no clue what is going on then all the sudden I notice that my truck stinks and look in the back seat. Fucking shit stains all down my back seat. God i never want to be that drunk again.

[Apelila]

^ Hell, some people don't even finish from head normally.

Now, this isn't embarrassing, at least not for me. Back when I was 19 I hadn't yet achieved being able to wait so I wasn't just laying there after finishing while my BF finished. He had other issues anyway, but like the last time this happened I was laying there bored for a good 5 minutes before my focus came back on the fact that I was indeed currently engaged in fortification.

Now, he was really ticklish. I mean, really really horribly I couldn't touch him sometimes ticklish. Which naturally meant that I knew all the ways to make him jump with one finger.

So, I'm laying there bored and thinking about how (No shit) I could be watching TV or finishing a game, and then I get the best idea I've ever had during sex.

"What happens if you tickle someone as they cum?"

The answer: the best face you will ever see your partner make, and no sex for 2 months. I think applies to that statement better than to any other statement ever.

[Denchi]

told this story before but I had testicular torsion(Thankfully by the time I got to the hospital my nuts untwisted) and got felt up by some hot asian bitch who was rubbing my nuts with hot liquid (for an ultrasound). Shockingly, my insurance apparently covers call girls. That was the only "strange" thing to ever happen to me, and it wasn't really sex... or at least to the other person it wasn't...

My nuts hurt really bad after a few intense sports situations so I got the nut-ultrasound like 2 months ago as well. Really a quite pleasant experience. They usually do ultrasounds for pregnant chicks so they had nice mood lighting and all that good stuff. Turns out I didn't have torsion, I just had to wait like another 2 weeks before my nuts stopped hurting. I guess I just banger them up real good (Ran down to the beach from the top of Catalina Island, lots of downhill bouncing and tossing).

Oh yeah I also spent the night at a buddies place after a night of drinking. Thing is, there were 2 more people in the bed with me. This guy and this other girl. It was the only bed available and it was huge so it was all good. We're all talking but then the other dude just conks out and starts snoring. The other girl and I kinda start touching and feeling and the grabs my dick and does this move where she puts her thumb on the tip and wiggles in around. I have NO idea if other guys enjoy this, but my dick started hurting like hell after a little while. My urethra was fucking in pain. We were both drunk, but I sobered up nice and quick after it started hurting and I had to TEAR this girls hand off my cock. I had her shirt off and was fingering her but that shit stopped after my wang was on fire. Honestly....... why the fuck would she tear the tip of my dick off with her thumb? Either she was just wasted and didn't know wtf she was doing, or the guys she's been with like it. Anyways..... that sucks. I also felt bad that the other dude was asleep on the other side of the bed lol.

The next day was awkward

[Mici]

Best one I have was in a doctors office, I was there to get a biopsy on my back. There is this old nurse, like 60+ Shes looking at the spot on my back and says "ohh ya, I can see where you have been scratching at it." The second she leaves the room my wife busts out laughing, well my mom came with us and is very confused. So my wife explains that she put the scratches on my back the night before.
I was not laughing and was just blushing.

Another one was one time switching positions with my wife when I went to get up and move to the side, I kneed her RIGHT in the cooch and it made a loud slapping sound, we laughed for a few min and went back at it.

Think I have one more but thats good for now.

[archibaldcrane]

What else. Well, my first blowjob was from a transsexual I didn't know was born a man. But I digress.

ROFL found it >< may i ask what race was she?

Heh, watch your quoting, I said that, not BrillCS - anyway she was white.