Most Embarrassing Moment during Sex (NSFW)

[AkashiXI]

I actually have one (just found out about this thread). My ex was out in Ohio for a weekend because of a family reunion, and we'd call each other at night to talk about our day. Well she called me while I was looking up porn and I told her it was distracting me, and she asked if she could help. Now I never done phone sex before, but I was already turned on so I thought why not. It was awkward at first but we were just moaning and saying stuff we'd do to each other when she got home, and then I heard a click noise. We both went silent, and I asked her if she called on that home phone number (instead of her cell). She said yes... and when she came back she said her little sister (who is like 12 years old) heard us<_<

[Mansin]

A few years ago a girl invited me to her house once and snuck me into her basement when her parents were asleep. She kept the lights off in case they got suspicious. Eventually I go down on her and it tastes kind of weird but I just go with it, at the time i had only done that with one other girl. I go home later at 3 or so in the morning, and go to bed.
When I woke up the next day I had dried blood on my face and hands.

[Eruantalon]

Long pre-story short, I had one of the worst room mates for a semester in college. He would have his horse-faced g/f over a lot, and one night they decided they'd get it on with me in the room. I'm a pretty passive guy considering I didn't kill him before the semester ended, but ya know those moments where you plan on whispering, and it doesn't come out as a whisper, but something everyone can hear? I'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep, and I hear from his g/f "You keep falling out." Like I said, pretty passive guy so it took all I could not to sit up, turn on my light, point at them and laugh whole heartedly and question whether he was too small, or she was too gaping wide to hold him inside.

In the end he got his comeuppance.

[AkashiXI]

Long pre-story short, I had one of the worst room mates for a semester in college. He would have his horse-faced g/f over a lot, and one night they decided they'd get it on with me in the room. I'm a pretty passive guy considering I didn't kill him before the semester ended, but ya know those moments where you plan on whispering, and it doesn't come out as a whisper, but something everyone can hear? I'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep, and I hear from his g/f "You keep falling out." Like I said, pretty passive guy so it took all I could not to sit up, turn on my light, point at them and laugh whole heartedly and question whether he was too small, or she was too gaping wide to hold him inside.

In the end he got his comeuppance.

You're a lot like my brother, lol. Same thing happened to him when he had a bastard roommate that would ALWAYS do this (let alone they would have sex with hentai on so he'd hear BUKAKAE DESU DESU MEW in the background [from what my brother told me]). Karma's a bitch though, because soon after my brother was about to move out, the other roommate was caught jerking off to the douche's roommate's gf while she was sleeping. D:

[Mizango]

A few years ago a girl invited me to her house once and snuck me into her basement when her parents were asleep. She kept the lights off in case they got suspicious. Eventually I go down on her and it tastes kind of weird but I just go with it, at the time i had only done that with one other girl. I go home later at 3 or so in the morning, and go to bed.
When I woke up the next day I had dried blood on my face and hands.

oody snatch.

That fucking nasty lol.

[Hofofosho]

Its dark and we're in the middle of it and I wonder "Why does it smell like grapes?" hint: flavored condoms are also very powerfully scented sometimes.

hmmm... smells like cherries!
my fiancee seriously said that while we were having sex. i busted out laughing at him, and we kept going.

[Eruantalon]

So what do you do to prevent future partial collapsed lungs?

[Nystul]

Long pre-story short, I had one of the worst room mates for a semester in college. He would have his horse-faced g/f over a lot, and one night they decided they'd get it on with me in the room. I'm a pretty passive guy considering I didn't kill him before the semester ended, but ya know those moments where you plan on whispering, and it doesn't come out as a whisper, but something everyone can hear? I'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep, and I hear from his g/f "You keep falling out." Like I said, pretty passive guy so it took all I could not to sit up, turn on my light, point at them and laugh whole heartedly and question whether he was too small, or she was too gaping wide to hold him inside.

In the end he got his comeuppance.

In college I lived in my fraternity for 2 years. Everyone slept in a "dormer" which was basically a big room with rows of bunk beds. I have very sensitive hearing, I swear- I'm like a fucking bat or something. It's not just that I can hear things, it's that I can put the sound with what it represents. I'm laying in bed one night having trouble falling asleep when I hear squeak...squok...squeak...squok of the bed springs going up and down. I knew what it was. I could place it to where it was coming from and I knew who it was...not a pleasant mental picture. A bit later I heard a rustle followed by a scrape scrape sound. The sound of someone rolling out some toilet paper, wadding it up, and wiping themselves. It was just kind of creepy. I don't mind knowing someone is having sex in the next room but when you can make out like...when the girl is wiping up the cum drippings...it's ugh.

Another time I woke up in the morning, half sat up a bit, and the guy on the top bunk next to me looks at me, rolls his eyes and points down the end of the row. There's Tommy...hands behind his head, laying on his back, grinning like a douche, with a very large lump under the covers as some fat townie chick he hooked up with teh night before was giving him a little morning head. This girl had no shame either- people starting waking up, commenting, making jokes, cheering...and she didn't stop.

[Warudo Ecksu]

SILVERBREEZE HAS A STORY SHE WANTS TO SHARE INVOLVING EDIBLE PANTIES. GO AHEAD MADISON. TELL US.

[SilverBreeze]

Well I was thinking about telling it, but now my PM box is going to fill up if I don't, so thanks a lot

I've had a few experiences with edible panties, this one was actually one of the good ones, kinda.

Me and my best girl friend have always been close, and we do things that most people don't do with their best friends. Neither of us consider ourselves lesbians because she has had the same boyfriend for a long time, and I still like penis, but we have fooled around with each other a lot, especially when we've been drinking a little. Now, she's 5'0" and I'm 4'9, so our tolerance for alcohol is pretty fucking terrible, but I was over her house one night, watching movies on her parent's new big screen in the living room. Eventually we get bored of that and we go to her room and we're playing on her computer, and we see a Fleshlight ad, so of course we click it. After a while of fooling around on the site, we click one of the links on the site for sex toys and we eventually come along some edible panties, which of course she wants to try out "Just to see how they taste". So we order them, great, next weekend we're going to have some fun.

So the next weekend we're at her house and doing our usual routine, hanging out, eating dinner/drinking, then settling down on the couch to watch movies and goof around. It gets late pretty quickly and soon after her parents go to bed she feigns boredom with the movie and tells me we should go to her room. She pulls out this brown cardboard box and I'm like "what's that?" I had completely forgot about ordering those dumb underwear the week before. We're both a little drunk from earlier so we start fooling around a little bit, and she decides she's ready to give these things a try, so she grabs the box and runs to the bathroom and 5 minutes later she comes back with these skinny little cherry flavored underwear on...

After a while I eventually end up going down on her and I find out, contrary to what I've heard that the panties don't taste half bad, and she was getting a kick out of me trying to eat them off of her. The only problem with the ones we had were that after they got wet they started to get a little gooey and sticky, so I try and hurry up and finish before we make a big mess. She's always been kind of loud, and I'm constantly telling her to calm down while I'm going at it because her parents are DOWN THE FUCKING HALLWAY but she keeps it up, and she has her legs clamped around my face and she's moaning and squealing to the top of her lungs. Well I keep going and all of a sudden she stops, and I'm confused why because she's usually very loud when she gets off, and I look up from between her legs and her mom is standing in the doorway with her mouth gaping open. Now the worst part is, remember the cherry underwear? My face, my cheeks, and even the ends of my hair are covered in this gooey red substance as I look up at her mother from licking between her daughters legs, and I've never been so scared in my life. We just sat there for like 5 minutes staring at each other, and finally her mom just says "Good night" and closes the door and goes back to bed. We've never talked about it since..

[Warudo Ecksu]

roflrofl i kinda picture edible undies being like fruit roll ups slapped on a vagina. also it seems like everyones parents has walked in on them at some poiint. i remember when i was in high school my mom was doing laundry once and walked in with my ex's pants and undies around his ankle. she just gave me the nastiest look possible, put my socks in my drawer and walked out.

[SilverBreeze]

It's funny you say that because that's the best way I can describe them to anyone who hasn't had any experience with them. Fruit Rolls Ups cut into the shape of underwear :3

[AkashiXI]

Wow LOL, I've never tried edible panties before on any of my gfs but I seriously want to now. Pretty awesome story regardless

edit: I just met this chick at a party last night who's a total freak (huge cosplayer/likes to roleplay during sex) and I may try this out with her... D: Only drawback about her is last night she started moaning like a jps girl and talking in jps. I HATE how asians moan, I think it's a huge turnoff but eh, I doubt it will really phase me.

[Remyo]

Me and my best girl friend have always been close, and we do things that most people don't do with their best friends. Neither of us consider ourselves lesbians because she has had the same boyfriend for a long time, and I still like penis, but we have fooled around with each other a lot,

sounds like you're bi

[Elesirdur]

So what do you do to prevent future partial collapsed lungs?

I'm assuming this was directed at me from my story. Not much really. Don't smoke when I'm congested or have a cold, although quitting smoking altogether would probably be best, was the only advice my respirologist gave me. Other than that I now live with lifelong restrictions on going SCUBA or skindiving, as well as going over 10,000' MSL altitude without pressurization. The high/low pressure situations could cause my lung to detach from the pleura again causing another spontaneous pneumothorax. I've read that putting more muscle on your chest can help prevent them, though I'm not exactly sure how. I think that benefit probably comes from working out more and having generally better cardiovascular and respiratory health. However, I'm still at relativity hight risk for it happening again until I'm in my mid 30s, then the chances of it occurring again without some kind of specific cause are slim.

PS Re: SilverBreez's anecdote.

http://fotos.hondaclub.com.ar/data/5...ary-thread.jpg

[Brill Weave]

Akashi shut the fuck up and bang the shit out of her. Remember, you're not doing her just for you. You're doing her for all us other white guys who love asians!

I dated a Chinese girl for six months when I was back in college. She went to CMU in their engineering program(big shock there.) She was the arguably the most docile girl I've ever had in the sack, she would basically fall into bed with her legs spread. It also didn't help she was five foot nothing and weighed about 95 pounds soaking wet and I'm 6'3" and weigh two hundred pounds with larger than average junk.

I can amusingly enough say I've slept with quite a few women of different nationality. There was a chinese girl, a black girl, a german girl, a puerto rican girl(which I would never do again fuck puerto ricans they're fucking nuts), a mexican girl, a scottish girl, and a polish girl. It was kind of a running joke amongst my friends that I would never date a white american girl.

[Azkarin2]

I had just started having sex for the first time. And I never lasted as long as I wanted. So when I run out to buy more condoms at the store, I spy a pack that has a numbing lubricant to make you last longer. So I decide what the hell and buy them.

Later that night, halfway through a BJ I get the "Do you wanna have sex" look and reach for the new pack of condoms. I roll one on and we start going at it. Very quickly I begin to realize that it feels different... it doesn't feel as good as it did the other night. We keep going at it and I still can't feel anything. She looks at me and says "Is something wrong? Its not that hard anymore..." I tell her I don't know whats going on but maybe another BJ would help (I didn't want to share with her my secret condoms).

So I rip off the condom and fling it behind the bed as she starts going down on me. She's down there for about a minute and I know I can't feel a damn thing. She then looks up at me kind of panicky and mumbles "I cabn't feel mah libs". The lubricant that was on my dick numbed her entire mouth. I told her of my purchase and she laughed (as she drooled all over the place due to the numbness). I was shocked at how much it numbed your dick. I banged my dick against my desk and didn't feel a thing. I threw the condoms out pretty soon after.

[Dmitry]

^

Holy shit I lol'd.

[SilverBreeze]

Wow, that's hilarious :D

I don't realize what's the point in those if it numbs it that much, you can't even keep it up, so why buy them? :3

[Odon]

Benzocaine.... on your dick...

The people that thought that was a good idea are fucking stupid as hell.