Definitely a tough decision. Personal question.

[Demosthenes11]

When you decide that your desire to eat out with the knowledge that there's a good chance your kid is going to start a screaming session, then how about you take your happy ass to a place that caters specifically to families with young children or babies.

places that don't wouldn't let them in. you're going to the wrong places.

I disagree. If I found myself surrounded by tables that had booster seats affixed to them, with child themes being prevalent, then yes I would agree I am going to the wrong places. The places I go to, child seating is optional and has to be asked for. For those of you with children, in my opinion that should be a sign that if you're too stupid to leave your kid in someone elses hands, then here's a backup plan if you insist on dragging them along.

I will concede that parents with exceptionally well-behaved children are perfectly OK in my book to bring their kids with them wherever they want to. From what I have seen, this is an incredibly rare occurrence though.

really surprised you don't like kids considering you are one yourself

[Dolmen]

From what you have seen, is most likely a placebo effect. I can pretty much assure you that I've been around ten times the children you will ever see in your lifetime. There's about 6 degrees/certifications hanging on my wall, 4 of which belong to my wife for various degrees and credentials in early childhood behavior and development, as well as certifications to run daycares (which she does). Generally, children are well behaved and a select few will have a condition that will put them in the "cry for no reason" category. This is not the majority of children. As I said, if a child is balling in a restaurant, the parents will almost always be able to cater to the child and keep them at bay. If this isn't the case, you likely have bad parenting.

In my area, roughly 5% of parents deal with their child in the correct manner when they start acting out of line. It is a complete rarity for me to see well behaved children. Could this be attributed to these children being a product of the area I live in? Probably. Could it also be attributed to the fact that 95% of the DC Metro area should be violently murdered? Probably. Also, I would not admit to having any kind of child-related credentials. These so called youth professionals are the ones flinging ritalin, the "it's never your fault" attitude, "disorders," etc..., etc... at the world's youth.

[Nirokun!]

"little podling" "droid"

I LOL'd

If I was straight, I'd want you as my wife :D (But i'd want the podlings and droids )

[Ansems]

Welp.. I think its smart to get a vasectomy at a young age if you know, you don't want kids. I would do it if I didn't want kids but I do. Some people aren't strong(mentally) enough to have kids. Yer opinion might change one day and then you can reverse the process.

Also, why would doctors reject giving you a vasectomy? I've never heard of that.

[Darus Grey]

If you're absolutely settled on it I say do it.

You can always bank your sperm for if you change your mind.

[Krye]

Tyche, quit pulling "facts" out of your ass while ignoring the opinions of others and asserting your own.

I'm sorry, I forgot, you have a kid, it is Jesus and that makes you God and you must be right all the time.

[Correction]

Yeah get out of here with your 'facts' and your 'personal experience' and your 'breadth of exposure to dozens of children over the years' and your 'years of parenting experience' in a discussion about whether or not it's worthwhile to get snipped at 19.

Wait, what?

Seriously, a child is going to ruin your life and take away all of your freedom, just like a woman will. Relationships are stupid and fucking pointless too, I don't see how women can't see that the only reason guys want them is for a place to stick their dick. You're a stupid fucking jackass if you're going to "fall in love" with some bitch and cast all your friends aside and be miserable all the time, but "omg we love each other so much even though she's a controlling bitch and I hate my life now and want to kill myself because of her" but whatever, that's an argument for another time.

OH RIGHT KRYE WOULD RATHER DO IT THIS WAY.

[Tyche]

From what you have seen, is most likely a placebo effect. I can pretty much assure you that I've been around ten times the children you will ever see in your lifetime. There's about 6 degrees/certifications hanging on my wall, 4 of which belong to my wife for various degrees and credentials in early childhood behavior and development, as well as certifications to run daycares (which she does). Generally, children are well behaved and a select few will have a condition that will put them in the "cry for no reason" category. This is not the majority of children. As I said, if a child is balling in a restaurant, the parents will almost always be able to cater to the child and keep them at bay. If this isn't the case, you likely have bad parenting.

In my area, roughly 5% of parents deal with their child in the correct manner when they start acting out of line. It is a complete rarity for me to see well behaved children. Could this be attributed to these children being a product of the area I live in? Probably. Could it also be attributed to the fact that 95% of the DC Metro area should be violently murdered? Probably. Also, I would not admit to having any kind of child-related credentials. These so called youth professionals are the ones flinging ritalin, the "it's never your fault" attitude, "disorders," etc..., etc... at the world's youth.

Ok, so I'd never defend bad parenting, and I know you pulled "roughly 5%" rihgt out of your ass, so I'll try to explain the reasoning here...you live in a fairly career-oriented city where there is an overwhelming amount of parents are so tied to their career, there is less time for children.

As far as the child professional comment, again, out of your ass. "Early childhood development" first off isn't a doctoral degree. She's not prescribing medicine. Not that anyone would precribe behavior meds to a 1-2 year old, which is about the latest an early childhood degree will cover. Also, if you think it's just "youth" doctors that have such a cavalier attitude to behavior and emotional issues, you are sadly mistaken. there are hundreds of "youth professional" careers (what a sweeping generalization) that do great with children. Holding them all responsible for a problem that doesn't even apply to the early childhood field just makes you look silly.

[SilverBreeze]

Hey Tyche / Mizango, my PM box is still empty!

I kinda have the same problem you do Elphaba. I've known most of my life that I want kids, being a mother is something that I've known was for me for a very long time. I've worked with children my whole life, and even now I take care of kids nearly every day of my life. In the same way I have a lot of problem with the pain that pretty much cripples a woman for several days on end, and I have enough problems to the point where I won't be able to have kids. It's kinda fucked up how things work out, you hear a lot of women who are perfectly capable of having children and don't want them, however there's many women out there who would love to have them, but the ability to was taken away from them long before they even could make the decision. You'd be surprised how many doctors are willing dig around in your "plumbing" when they decide that you don't need it anymore, because you won't be able to reproduce. It just sucks to hear that they won't even give you the time of day when it's such a problem, and you've made up your mind that you don't want children. /sigh

Seeing as how I made my mind up so early in my life that I want to be a mother, It's one of the reasons I say that if the OP wants it done, and he's 100% sure he'll never want kids, then he should consider doing it. The only reason I would be wary to, is because it's a lot easier to go from Do want, to Don't want, than vice versa. It would be weird for me to say otherwise though, because I've known I wanted kids for years now, even when I was a teenager, and I still haven't, and won't change my mind, so it may be the case with the OP that he has his mind dead set on never having children, and that's his choice. There are plenty of women out there who don't want to have children, so that's fine. My only gripe would be getting a vasectomy because you want to sleep around easier, and you may find yourself in a position that you wish you hadn't made that choice.

Tyche, quit pulling "facts" out of your ass while ignoring the opinions of others and asserting your own.

I'm sorry, I forgot, you have a kid, it is Jesus and that makes you God and you must be right all the time.

He can state facts because he has a kid, while you can only base opinions on your poor experiences with children. I'm sure when you are out you are among children all day more than you know, the only difference is that you don't notice them because they're behaving themselves. If you have a bunch of eggs, and one of them is rotten, guess which one of them you're going to smell?

[Zoot]

Jeez, that's a terrible predicament. I had a friend who went through something a little similar.

Except she never wanted kids, and wad dead-set on never having them. Then on a routine check-up, her doctor broke the news that she could never carry children. When she told me about this, she said she had been so certain she never wanted them, but "It was like I had a good old friend's phone number. I could call them if I wanted to, but I never did. Now I lost it, and I'm sad because I realize now that I might have wanted to some day."

Strangely enough...a few weeks later she got pregnant. Ends up her diagnosis was wrong. And she loves kid, and is a great mom. You never really know what you've got or what you're going to get.

/end chickensoup post

[Tyche]

Am I the only one that finds krye (a guy who made his name showing off his 14 year old "exploits") posting in a thread with a child rearing debate absolutely hilarious? I value your thoughts as much as I value the opinion of my steering wheel.

@silver...I'm on the road right now. Driving and posting is bad plus, I have no pics on my phone.

[Nystul]

Ever think that perhaps the reason you only see obnoxious kids with bad parents is because the overwhelming majority of good parents with good kids are quiet and respectful and simply do not draw your attention? How exactly would you notice a well behaved kid? It's like in football- no one says anything about an offensive lineman unless he misses a block or gets called for holding. But that may happen on 5 plays total out of the 100 + that are run during the game, and that leads unobservant people to conclude that all he does is get penalized and miss blocks.

With few exceptions, kids are blank slates and their behavior hinges on the actions of the parents (excluding kids with mental disorders etc). Parents should be able to have lives. You shouldn't have to live in a cave. You should use some common sense, but a family dining establishment (Applebees, Olive Garden, Chilis, etc) is a suitable place to bring kids. If you go to a place that advertises as family dining, then expect to see...families. If you want an adult time, go to a sportsbar, or some kind of adult establishment. That is your responsibility. The parent's responsibility is to try to placate a crying child. It is not easy. There is no mute button. But you're out in public and you are responsible for dealing with your child. For me, a crying child gets a lot less annoying when the parent is actively trying to get them to stop. What really drives me nuts is when the kid is wailing away and the parents simply talk louder and ignore them. If you want to go out and you don't want to deal with the kids, either get a baby sitter or split it up and have the wife go out with her friends one night and the dad with his another and the other spouse stays home.

I really do, though, feel like I'm watching adults talk to little kids about the opposite sex- some of you are so absurdly myopic in your thinking. It's funny. I wish I could see you 10 years from now. I'm 30. I'm so much different from myself at 20 it's shocking. I don't think we'd even be able to hang out with eachother- not a whole lot to talk about.

RE: SilverBreeze- as an adopted child myself to parents that could not conceive, it's just as rewarding and the bond is just as strong.

[Krye]

He can state facts because he has a kid, while you can only base opinions on your poor experiences with children. I'm sure when you are out you are among children all day more than you know, the only difference is that you don't notice them because they're behaving themselves. If you have a bunch of eggs, and one of them is rotten, guess which one of them you're going to smell?

I can't even stand children for the few moments that they're around me, why the fuck would I want to be around them all day?

[Lbelle]

Eh, I think we get it Krye.

[Correction]

I can't even stand children for the few moments that they're around me, why the fuck would I want to be around them all day?

It might help the next time you want lambaste another for their opinions on children without looking like a troll without a leg of their own to stand on.

[Krye]

Cause my intense hatred for children isn't enough evidence that I hate children?

[layoneil]

Cause my intense hatred for children isn't enough evidence that I hate children?

no, cause your intense hatred for children make your opinion pretty much irrelevant for this topic.

[Draggy]

ok random post inc i am sleepy.
Wow some of you really need to grow up, you are behaving worse than these "horrid stinking screaming kids" or whatever you are complaining about.
I can see about the high-end posh restaurants, but no decent parent would take their little kids into a place like that anyway. i dont see what the big deal is about having children in the more "family friendly" places. We go for lunch at my local pub sometimes and they love having kids in there, they keep colouring books behind the bar, and toys in the garden etc for them.
Most children are quiet and well behaved, and imo even if they do cry, most parents will know the reason for it and it can be stopped without too much hassle. If there are kids left to run loose around a restaurant or w/e dont blame them, blame the parents that are meant to have control over them.

And as for getting snipped at 19, i dunno... i would leave it a couple years,. youre mind CAN change a lot even if you think it wont. And if its for having "easier sex" then that is just retarded.
I remember being really young, 16ish and i hated the thought of having kids, then i started working in a nursery, and realised there is more to life then going out every night and my thoughts changed really fast, i couldnt wait to have a bunch of kids. And now i have a 4 year old and i couldnt imagine any other life. (his school uniform for Septermber got delivered today, omgz so cute)

Anyways summary: Stop acting like children, then you have the right to complain about them, or something like that, idk really lol

[Krye]

Legit advice is legit advice, regardless of the reasoning behind it.

[Koyuki]

Legit advice is legit advice, regardless of the reasoning behind it.

Except for the fact that any advice you deem worthy to disclose will never in any way be considered legit.