
Originally Posted by
Cesaria
Have been quit a few years now but I started smoking kind of late on (despite hanging around with the smoker crowd in school I never picked the habit up then - even when there were like 6 people huddled into a school toilet cubicle and 5 of them puffing away). Considering I hung around with the nicotine-fuelled metal heads - I never got any peer pressure to start from them which still surprises me these days.
I started because when I was back at uni doing my teacher training I was bullied quite badly by a clique of girls on the course who were fresh out of uni and I suppose felt threatened by the situation or something and wanted something to do to make themselves feel a bit more secure - so I was getting it in the neck from them a lot. On top of which it was a horrifically stressful course, coupled with the supreme horror of having to move back in and live with my mother for a year - so for a combination of those 3 factors: stress, wanting to piss my mother off big time, and wanting a way to get out of the bullying situation during lecture breaks etc... I joined the cloud of smoke outside the building on a breaktime puffing away.
I think there was also something with me needing something to do with my hands as well - until very recently I was a really bad nail biter, and smoking filled that needing something to do with my hands/mouth in situations while driving niche as well.
Quit because I never wanted to go into school stinking of smoke so couldn't have one on a morning before work, and once my commute to school died down, the car, which was the big place I smoked - wasn't as large a part of my life anymore. The one time I really miss a cig now is social situations where I feel uneasy and it's more of an emotional security blanket then - so I tend to wear a bracelet which I spin round and fiddle with as a substitute.