Help me understand women...

[TacoTaru]

My question would be what does she want to put the money towards the family room for? As most people have said it's flat out rude to just say "nah give me the money for something else, though;" however, like Shue said, you could just ask him to hang onto the money for a little while until it's something that actually does need done.

As for the stove, is it gas or electric (the one you have now). If it's gas, I think I'd actually bribe my parents NOT to buy me a new stove (Unless you got gas, but can you even buy these anymore). I absolutely hate electric stoves with a fucking passion.

[kuronosan]

Nor, this is the best solution for all parties involved.

Fact 1: Put your wife in her place.

There's no reason for your wife to be acting this way when your parents are the ones paying for the gift. They're offering it to you, and it's extremely rude to reject a gift and ask for something else instead. Tell your wife that you need her to understand that you don't want to offend your parents and that at some point your stove will need to be replaced, and that you always have the option of selling it or the old one since it works great.

Fact 2: You can sell your old stove on craigslist!

If your stove works that great, sell it! Someone will buy it, believe me! I work as an appliance salesman and people are ALWAYS looking for a good deal on appliances. If you're going to get a brand new stove from your parents, do the smart thing and accept it then sell your old one. This will avoid you offending them and at the same time your wife gets extra money to do her remodeling!

Fact 3: Your wife is being irrational.

Seriously. These are your parents. They are choosing (albeit thoughtlessly) to buy you this gift out of their own pocket. She should understand that and if she loves you enough she will get over it. Stand your ground and command respect! You also have to understand that to most women it's more important to improve the appearance of a house than it is to replace things that don't need to be replaced. She's trying to make her house look presentable so a stove isn't a priority to her. You have to explain to her that this is a gift, not a personal expense!

Fact 4: Your parents are being thoughtless? Maybe...

Unfortunately, as generous as your parents are being, they're also not thinking things through. A good gift-giver will either know what their recipient wants or will ask them ahead of time. You also have to remember that to receive a gift (especially an expensive one such as an appliance) should be considered an honor and you should honor your parents. Don't be picky!

Fact 5: Don't be afraid to disagree and argue with your wife.

Women are just like men. They want things their way sometimes. Unfortunately, you can't always do that or they won't respect you.

Finally, my final advice is a combination of the above statements. Just take the stove from your parents, but ask them if you and your wife can be there to choose it. Get that old stove out and put it up for sale so you can get some money. You now have a brand new stove, and extra money.

Edit: Yes Taco, you can buy gas stoves.

[Shuemue]

Yeah, like Taco said, what exactly would your wife spend it on? Is it something large and useful like a stove, that your dad can get air miles from? Or does she want cash for soft furnishings etc?

[Norelco]

Old stove is gas, new stove is gas.

[Stiker]

Doesn't matter if the stove isn't a the gift you "need" at the moment. You have already suggested for your parents to possibly consider something else. Your dad refused, it is stove or nothing.

I fail to see the problem other than your wife is being stubborn as hell and just wants to "win" against your parents.

If you are trying to satisfy both parties, talk to your wife and tell her you get exactly where she is coming from. You would rather not have the stove, but your father is going to take it as a direct slap in the face and it would be disrespectful to refuse something that is being given to you for free. Remind her that there was zero expectation of a gift (if I'm wrong on this, I totally missed it in here), and that you two are doing nothing but benefiting (especially if you sell the old one). Then take the stove from your dad and thank him for the help.

Like I said, I've seen this before with girls (and I'm not even married). Yeah it is irrational, but she is just going to stick to her guns and not budge because she expected a different reaction from your parents.

Get the stove, it will blow over. First meal she cooks in it, make a joke about it.

[Shuemue]

Could just divorce her and your parents, move to Israel and live on a Kibbutz?

[Jujubie]

My first thought would be that your wife wants a different stove? Maybe not the one your parents have in mind--maybe one more $ and she doesn't want to ask them to pay more?

Probably need to have a conversation with the wife (tying to not blame or raise voices cuz then it will turn into a huge fight...) to find out exactly why she has an adversion to your Dad buying a new stove for you.

[Isiolia]

Break your stove, have her try to use it and see it fail. Then she'll want the new one.

Honestly, I had the same sort of issue. My parents were all set to buy a new stove for me when they were visiting last year...and I declined it. I wasn't trying to get money instead though, it was more than I'm single, I don't use the stove extensively (and can't cook for shit either way), and I hadn't tried simpler solutions to fix the (minor) issues they'd seen (new burner coil(s) basically).

Your dad probably sees it as something that's a major, all-at-once expense that he can help with. Remodeling a room adds up, but you can do it over time as you can afford it. Maybe if you have another major expense thing as an alternative you could offer that as a suggestion.
Also, since it's gas, a crappy stove that has a gas leak is a lot more hazardous to your health than crappy carpet in your family room. Perhaps that's an angle for it as wel.

[Cletis]

Kindly tell your parents to reconsider their gift choice. Your wife is correct.

A stove is a tool, not a fashion statement.

what is new carpet and paint?




tools upgrade before wall and floor color. this isn't the sims

[archibaldcrane]

If your dad is saying either "stove or nothing", then that's what you say to your wife. Period. You can't control what your dad is willing to buy - ask her if she'd rather have a new stove than nothing.

If she feels like Darus Grey (which is perfectly reasonable) that the current stove is fine and should last a long time and she doesn't mind if it looks outdated compared to the rest of the kitchen and buying a new one is just a waste of your parents' money...I mean, do you really care? (your stove isn't going to break dude, gas stoves....just don't)

She's going to pick new stove - just dispel the notion from her head that there are alternatives. There aren't.

[Norelco]

Doesn't matter if the stove isn't a the gift you "need" at the moment. You have already suggested for your parents to possibly consider something else. Your dad refused, it is stove or nothing.

I fail to see the problem other than your wife is being stubborn as hell and just wants to "win" against your parents.

If you are trying to satisfy both parties, talk to your wife and tell her you get exactly where she is coming from. You would rather not have the stove, but your father is going to take it as a direct slap in the face and it would be disrespectful to refuse something that is being given to you for free. Remind her that there was zero expectation of a gift (if I'm wrong on this, I totally missed it in here), and that you two are doing nothing but benefiting (especially if you sell the old one). Then take the stove from your dad and thank him for the help.

Like I said, I've seen this before with girls (and I'm not even married). Yeah it is irrational, but she is just going to stick to her guns and not budge because she expected a different reaction from your parents.

Get the stove, it will blow over. First meal she cooks in it, make a joke about it.

You pretty much hit the nail on the head. And no, we weren't expecting any sort of gift, so it was a nice surprise that my wife tarnished.

[Norelco]

Also, since it's gas, a crappy stove that has a gas leak is a lot more hazardous to your health than crappy carpet in your family room. Perhaps that's an angle for it as wel.

My dad actually mentioned this.

Man, you BG'ers are on the fucking ball today. Thank you.

[archibaldcrane]

You pretty much hit the nail on the head. And no, we weren't expecting any sort of gift, so it was a nice surprise that my wife tarnished.

Melodramatic much?

This isn't the end of the world, everything will be ok Norelco.

[Day]

Also keep in mind future gifts... I know if someone turned me down on buying something as expensive as a stove, I'd be hard pressed to offer again :X

[Norelco]

Melodramatic much?

This isn't the end of the world, everything will be ok Norelco.

LOL, good call. I'm gonna have something to drink. I'm being an idiot.

[Andri]

My dad actually mentioned this.

Yeah that seals it. Your dad bringing this up really shows he's just trying to provide something safe for you.

So while we are on understanding women.... I have one, in reverse....

My boyfriend helped me out this morning and at my request, dropped me off at work and took my car to the tire place because the front tire was leaking air, they sealed it etc. (although he did it, he did protest loudly at having to help me and asked why couldnt i just do it tomorrow etc.)

But then he surprised me and took my really dirty car to the car wash and washed it himself. He showed back up at my work in freshly washed car for lunch, which we had planned on. And he showed me a new office chair he bought for himself so we can put one of my dining chairs back in the dining room and not destroy it. This too helps me out and was very nice of him.

At lunch (chinese) he gets a fortune cookie that says: "This is your day! Your hard work will pay off."

Now he's walking around with it like it's a coupon for a blow job. In fact he thinks it IS a coupon for a blow job. ...

[Norelco]

Now he's walking around with it like it's a coupon for a blow job. In fact he thinks it IS a coupon for a blow job. ...

LOL, good story.

[pohibaba]

Honestly, it sounds to me like the Chinese gave him a coupon for a blow job. Not much you can do except suck it up. (Pun intended).

[Day]

Just let him use it as a coupon for a BJ then. Sounds like he deserves it =)

Durp, worded much better by phoibaba

[Shuemue]

Now he's walking around with it like it's a coupon for a blow job. In fact he thinks it IS a coupon for a blow job. ...

I don't think he's being unreasonable