Teen Pregnancy; Parents Fault ?

[Octavious]

OK, some background on this. Where I work there was an on-going discussion this morning about whether or not a teen becoming pregnant (likewise, we can say a male teen getting someone pregnant) reflects the parents parenting, or lack there of. I understand that you can only control your child so much before it is too much. Also, I understand that your child still makes his or her own decisions.

However, with that being said it is my understanding that it is still the parents fault when their teen, be it male or female, has this happen. My reasoning is generated from the fact that growing up in both school and at home it was always taught that while abstinence is the best form of prevention so is safe sex. I believe that if a teen gets pregnant (or gets someone pregnant) that it is either a result of poor parenting, or lack of teaching in schools. It is the parent’s responsibility to teach their child safe practices to keep them both healthy and out of these kind of situations.

I figured I would make a seperate post since while this is part of the political campaign as of recent, I don't want to clutter up that topic. I really can't stand when parents use the excuse that, "Oh, my child will do whatever regardless of what I say," because it's apathetic and lazy. Get off your ass and be the parent your child needs, not their friend.

[Abraxas]

I lean towards it's more the kid's fault. Even if you were not taught at home enough about this stuff, by the time you grow up to even know what sex is, you should have at least a simple idea of how to practice safe sex.

and you got the two paragraphs copied twice

[Shuemue]

There is no yes or no answer, it depends totally on the family involved.

Take me as an example. My parents are both well educated, they are two of the people I (now) look up to the most. However, when I was 14, they had basically no say in my life at all. I simply decided I knew best, and the only way they could have controlled me would have been through having me sectioned under the mental health act. At one point they did try, but I basically intimidated them into calling it off.

So, if I'd got a girl pregnant at that age, I'm absolutely certain that it would have been my own fault.

[Woozie]

I wish this was spam so I could make fun of you accidently posting the same text twice.

But since this is general, I have to be serious.

I don't think all of the blame can go to one person. It would be wrong to say that it's the parents fault if a teen gets pregnant, but it would usually also be wrong to say the parent has nothing to do with it. I do think that parents these days aren't doing enough in most of the areas of their childrens lives, or at least that's how it is where I grew up. There is a lot that I would want to see change about parents in the community I grew up in.

[JigglyJam]

I voted all three.

Society blows, parents too lazy to raise their kids and the teenager for being a dumbass.

[Octavious]

I wish this was spam so I could make fun of you accidently posting the same text twice.

But since this is general, I have to be serious.

I don't think all of the blame can go to one person. It would be wrong to say that it's the parents fault if a teen gets pregnant, but it would usually also be wrong to say the parent has nothing to do with it. I do think that parents these days aren't doing enough in most of the areas of their childrens lives, or at least that's how it is where I grew up. There is a lot that I would want to see change about parents in the community I grew up in.

I wrote my post in notepad++ since I'm doing coding at the same time, then when it's done I just copy it over. For some reason firefox lagged and I ctrl-v'd twice. XD Keeping 10-15 tabs open owns my cheap work laptop it seems.

On topic, I understand the parent can't physically control the teen. It was always assumed in my house had I ever got a girl pregnant I would be out on my ass faster than anything. I don't know if intimidation can be used as valid parenting, but thats always a nice addition.

[Souj]

sometimes it's the parents fault, sometimes it's the teens fault, sometimes its societies fault, and sometimes it's the fault of tiny green men from neptune.
it's not always the fault of 1 specific group. why do people always try to say it's always the fault of just one of the group, and not on the situations?
Some kids probably would do w/e they wanted even if their parents took every precaution. Others might learn from what their parents taught, some kids know better even if their parents didnt teach them a single thing.

[Obev]

It depends. If the parents gave the kids "the talk," told 'em to use rubbers, and generally did the right thing, and the dumb little breeders still went out and made a baby, then it's not really the parents' fault. Sometimes people are just dumb and horny and their screaming brat will soon be forked over to their parents to take care of.

[Olo401]

I would absolutely say all of the above.

It's is indirectly society's fault if a society does not fully educate a young adult about sexuality, how the human reproductive cycle works, and all the ways to prevent an unwanted pregnancy (INCLUDING abstinence AND copulative protection & prevention). I say indirectly because it is the direct responsibility of the parents to teach such things to their children. If all this is done, and the teenager still gets pregnant because they didn't listen to such advice, it is their own fault and their ultimate responsibility.

[Shuemue]

On topic, I understand the parent can't physically control the teen. It was always assumed in my house had I ever got a girl pregnant I would be out on my ass faster than anything. I don't know if intimidation can be used as valid parenting, but thats always a nice addition.

Can't mentally control some teens either. Also, good luck intimidating some teens. At 14 I was basically a man. I could fight like a man, I was smarter than most adults, I was not to be taken lightly.

[Woozie]

Also, I would like to add that my own little sister had her fifth child before she turned 20. There was really no way my grandmother could control any of our behaviors. But that's not to say it wasn't her fault in any way whatsoever. The reason our grandmother couldn't control us is because she was a horrible parent when we were younger so we grew up not liking or respecting her. And her being a bad parent made us more likely to end up in these type of situations (and indeed, nearly every single child my grandmother has raised is selling or using drugs, in a gang, in jail, or somewhere on welfare with a bunch of kids). Also, our enviroment had a large impact on our behavior as well. In the inner city, having kids at a young age is pretty much the norm. It's possible that even if my grandmother had been a good parent, my sister would have still ended up with kids at a young age.

In the case of my sister, I'd say it was largely a result of bad parenting. But in other cases, it can be very different.

[Atlasion]

It's situational. Usually a mix of both the teenager and the teenagers upbringing. I'd say it's more of the teenagers fault than the parents though.

Here you get taught about contraception and stuff at school, so lack of knowledge is no excuse. Some teenagers seem to be under the impression that it's normal to be having kids. There was even a programme on here a little while ago about grandparents at 30, so that does show that, sometimes, if you were a teen pregnancy, then you are more likely to become pregnant as a teen. I remember seeing on the news about a 13 year old girl who had one of those thingies (peice of metal type thing, completly forgot the name) inside her to stop her becoming pregnant. I think those things usually last 5 years before needing to be renewed. Anyway, she wanted this thing removed so she could have a kid. If I remember correctly, she didn't even have a boyfriend. Who's fault is that? I'd say its more of the kids fault for being such a moron.

[Abraxas]

Even if they didn't have the talk, I can't imagine many kids grow up nowadays without knowing about this stuff. Whether it be in school, tv or from their friends.

If you flip the question around and ask if parents who never told their kids about the precautions and stuff, yet the kid decides to not do it, is it the parent's or the kid's correct-doing?

[Raiko]

It could be something like people wanting to experiment with sex, accidental pregnancy resulting from this. People being drunk at parties would probably make up for a large number of teenage pregnancies...

How the hell can you be so naive as to blame it on these things? Do you think teenagers actually go out with intent of getting pregnant from the result of poor parenting or not paying attention in sex ed? What has society got to do with it? Do you ever hear of people promoting teenage pregnancies in everyday life? There are waaaaaaaay to many scenarios to narrow it down to these 3 things...

edit: meant to say also; if you get someone pregnant by not using contraception in this day and age as a teenager, can you really say my mum never told me that would happen, or my teacher, or society egged me on? What teenager in this generation doesn't know that sex without protection will most likely end up with a child. It's the teens fault really.

As shue said, when you're a teen, no matter how much of a good parent you have you'll still rebel, it's a part of life. Some people make less serious mistakes than others, others end up with babies.

[Abraxas]

There are waaaaaaaay to many scenarios to narrow it down to these 3 things...

There are, but whether or not it happens will ultimately be decided by the persons involved. In this case, the teens.

[Obev]

Even if they didn't have the talk, I can't imagine many kids grow up nowadays without knowing about this stuff. Whether it be in school, tv or from their friends.

If you flip the question around and ask if parents who never told their kids about the precautions and stuff, yet the kid decides to not do it, is it the parent's or the kid's correct-doing?

What you mean, like if the parents never told their kid about the myriad wonderful uses of condoms, but they end up using the things for more than expensive water balloons? Kid's doing it right, parents're doing it wrong.

[SephYuyX]

It is the parents fault mainly, followed by the teen, it's not societies fault at all.

It's the parents job to teach good morals to their children up to late teens, if you think anyone under the age of 18 has the whole world figured out, youre dead wrong. Even over 18, theyre just getting the hang of it. Teens then have to take those morals they learned and apply them, if the parents did a good job, the teens wont even question those morals, and follow them. Granted after a certain time, everyone questions how they were raised, and the morals they learned, but that usually comes after 18 or so, and then after that 18 mark, it's the teens decisions. You just hope as a parent that you taught them properly.

Society doesnt play a role at all, society only affects those that were brought up wrong, or have a week mind. Sure I know people who have had sex at a young age, but society didnt play a role, they were also smart enough to use protection on both ends.

[Abraxas]

What you mean, like if the parents never told their kid about the myriad wonderful uses of condoms, but they end up using the things for more than expensive water balloons? Kid's doing it right, parents're doing it wrong.

that's what I'm saying. If the teen made the right choice to avoid getting pregnant, I think it's their responsibility if they do get pregnant.

[Dantrag]

Trust me on this... from having to deal with it from the kind of mom i had... It's usually the child's fault. I'd say 8/10 times. At that age you know what you're doing. You know you're not using protection of any kind. You know the risk. But in the end they'll say something like "i never thought it could happen to me". Risk/Reward system somewhat applies here. To say that the child had no idea what they were doing(having sex) without protection in this day and age is pretty damn dumb.

[Abraxas]

It is the parents fault mainly, followed by the teen, it's not societies fault at all.

It's the parents job to teach good morals to their children up to late teens, if you think anyone under the age of 18 has the whole world figured out, youre dead wrong. Even over 18, theyre just getting the hang of it. Teens then have to take those morals they learned and apply them, if the parents did a good job, the teens wont even question those morals, and follow them. Granted after a certain time, everyone questions how they were raised, and the morals they learned, but that usually comes after 18 or so, and then after that 18 mark, it's the teens decisions. You just hope as a parent that you taught them properly.

Society doesnt play a role at all, society only affects those that were brought up wrong, or have a week mind. Sure I know people who have had sex at a young age, but society didnt play a role, they were also smart enough to use protection on both ends.

The parent do play a major role. However, teaching good morals does not ensure they will be practiced. The parents who taught good morals to their kids, yet still had them get knocked up... Is that the parents fault? I really don't think it can be.