Teen Pregnancy; Parents Fault ?

[Octavious]

Even if they didn't have the talk, I can't imagine many kids grow up nowadays without knowing about this stuff. Whether it be in school, tv or from their friends.

If you flip the question around and ask if parents who never told their kids about the precautions and stuff, yet the kid decides to not do it, is it the parent's or the kid's correct-doing?

I appreciate the responses, heh, I'm a firm supporter of parents being their kids teachers not friends but like I said I can see the other side too. I posted to just get a general idea of the matter, so please don't get all upity thats why I allowed (least I thought) multiple poll choices, lol.

Shoot, I had sex ed in 5th grade and they taught safe sex (in a catholic school for christ sake) which was one of the most controversial things that ever happened in my grade school, lol.

Also, I had someone get so irritated talking about this at work she came out with, "Oh, look who's talking Mr Engineer, i bet you haven't even had sex." lol, Cause stating the obvious for an insult proves your point. :D

[Eaglestrike]

I voted all 3, but I actually say it's the parents fault the least. At that age a lot of kids are TRYING to do what their parents don't want them to and there's no really good way around that for a parent that I can think of. There's plenty of things I'd blame parents on, but this is actually one they may get off with.

[Dantrag]

As a parent there is only 100% way to stop a teen from getting knocked up. Lock them in their room for 7 years of their life.

[Isiolia]

Little of everything. If the parent's didn't teach their kid properly, obviously the focus on sex in society will influence them a lot.

However, it's personal responsibility. It's up to the kid to listen to their parents and have some self control. A teen can resist good parenting and find some way to get pregnant/get someone pregnant unless they're chained to a parent 24/7. Likewise, they can use their brain despite poor parenting. I mean, teenagers, like college kids, know everything anyway, right? ;P

Short of someone holding a gun to their head, it comes down to personal choice. Maybe poorly guided, heavily influenced by society choice, but still.

[layoneil]

didn't notice you can vote for more than one and it's definitely not a single choice. obviously things are situational.

most of the time though it has to be the kids fault, they have the most direct control of the situation and they allow it to happen. even if parents teach them everything in a spur of the moment situation they can still "forget". it's unrealistic to think that parents can raise perfect children.

i don't really see how society can be a major factor, are we talking about some kids being so poor they can't afford condoms regularly and schools should be giving them out for free all the time?

[ferigor]

I can't believe that anyone could think there's a cut and dry answer to this, its completely situational. Let's comlpetely forget about things like broken condoms, or a girl not knowing that antibiotics cancel out birth control, or just that no form of birth control (aside from abstinence) is 100% safe. Where are the options for Blaming Durex for faulty production, or blaming god for just bad luck?

[Shuemue]

It's the parents job to teach good morals to their children up to late teens

If only it were that simple. I have always known right from wrong. I haven't always chosen to do the right thing. This isn't my parents' fault, they provided me with a solid education, but I didn't give a fuck.

[Shuemue]

i don't really see how society can be a major factor, are we talking about some kids being so poor they can't afford condoms regularly and schools should be giving them out for free all the time?

You're right, society is a minor factor, aside from when the teens in question are in care, then society becomes the parent.

[Octavious]

You're right, society is a minor factor, aside from when the teens in question are in care, then society becomes the parent.

You hit it on the head (no pun intended). I put society on there because when parents aren't involved they immediatly blame society next as a result of uncensored radio, tv, or video games and to a lesser extent hollywood.

[Shuemue]

As a parent there is only 100% way to stop a teen from getting knocked up. Lock them in their room for 7 years of their life.

My first child, a girl, is due 1st Dec

Seriously considering building a tower and locking her away until she's 21.

[Woozie]

Everything is societies fault. Where have you guys been for the last 10 years?

[Izzy]

I blame it on the teenager. If you honestly don't know what the fuck is going to happen when you allow your 16 year old boyfriend to play "just the tip", then you deserve to be pregnant.

[Lbelle]

I don't see how it could be my parent's fault if I got pregnant. My mom (who raised me for most of my life) has always told me to use protection and went with me to get BC pills, but I mean that's about it. She never told me not to have sex, like ever. If I get pregnant it's my fault, and I'd never even think of blaming my parents. First I'd blame myself, then my boyfriend, and that's about where the blame train ends for me.

I think society has more of a part on people WANTING to have sex, but I don't think it's their fault if people don't use protection and have a baby, because that's entirely up to the teen.

[Octavious]

Everything is societies fault. Where have you guys been for the last 10 years?

Well, 10 years ago I would have been 11 so...probably not having sex or experimenting with drugs, or drinking, or ... damn college is awesome.

[Shuemue]

It's like fat people.

I'm fat. I'm 6'1" and roughly 280lbs. It's my fault. I eat too much and don't exercise enough.

It is not glandular. It is not because I was bullied. It's my own fault.

People need to fucking take responsibility for their own actions. We live in a blame culture and it really annoys me. 99% of the time, it's our own fucking fault.

[Octavious]

It's like fat people.

I'm fat. I'm 6'1" and roughly 280lbs. It's my fault. I eat too much and don't exercise enough.

It is not glandular. It is not because I was bullied. It's my own fault.

People need to fucking take responsibility for their own actions. We live in a blame culture and it really annoys me. 99% of the time, it's our own fucking fault.

See, this is where I have conflicting beliefs. I see your point and I do agree that society uses the blame game on incessantly stupid behavior. IE: We blame Radio, TV, and Video Games for my 12 yr old being violent or being ADD etc etc.

I never personally understood why uncensored radio bothers parents. If you don't want your kid hearing it, turn the damned channel or station, christ I didn't know that someone was forcing you to listen to Howard Stern.

Along with that, the conflict comes in that I do believe the teen is responsible for his or her own actions but without proper parenting I don't believe it's the teens fault. I guess my point of view after thinking this over has slightly changed, If a parent does everything they can then I can admit it is the teens fault. However if nothing is taught or done to show safe practice, I believe it falls to the parents for their bad choices.

[Dantrag]

Someone please explain to me in detail how this could even remotely be the parents fault? Especially in this day and age when this stuff is force fed upon us. Even MTV has commercials for safe sex almost every hour. It's EVERYWHERE now a days. Including in schools. Sex ed in 5th grade. Fkn had to look at some of the sickest shit i've ever seen in 9th grade(i still remember joking about the coral penises that we saw - i swear they looked like coral reefs!)... trust me the info is out there. It's up to the child to make the right choice. Like someone said people need to take responsibility into their own hands. Also, society would also be peer pressure?

[Tyche]

it's the fault of the company you keep. If you hang out with the nerdy kids on the left side of the cafeteria, you'd never get laid. Joking aside, I don't think anyone brought up the company you keep and the friends you have. I think that's huge.

[Woozie]

See, this is where I have conflicting beliefs. I see your point and I do agree that society uses the blame game on incessantly stupid behavior. IE: We blame Radio, TV, and Video Games for my 12 yr old being violent or being ADD etc etc.

I never personally understood why uncensored radio bothers parents. If you don't want your kid hearing it, turn the damned channel or station, christ I didn't know that someone was forcing you to listen to Howard Stern.

Along with that, the conflict comes in that I do believe the teen is responsible for his or her own actions but without proper parenting I don't believe it's the teens fault. I guess my point of view after thinking this over has slightly changed, If a parent does everything they can then I can admit it is the teens fault. However if nothing is taught or done to show safe practice, I believe it falls to the parents for their bad choices.

It's not that easy to stop a kid from watching what they want to watch or listening to what they want to listen to.

When a child becomes a teenager, it's less about controling them and more about hoping that what you've done to them and taught them while they were younger and the way you raised them in general was enough so that they'll make the right decisions (and that they'll respect you and actually listen to you at least some of the time when you tell them what to and what not to do). For example, the whole intimidation thing can (but isn't guaranteed to) work if your teen actually loves and respects you. Otherwise, threatening to kick them out the house or to punish them for their actions wont be enough to make them listen to you.

And since you can't control the teen, then the "fault" would be primarily on the teen herself. As other people have mentioned, it's personal responsibility. I don't blame my grandmother for any of the mistakes I've made even though she was a horrible parent. But if you were a bad parent, your actions did make a decent contribution to the fact that the teen eventually ended up pregnant. If my grandmother had been a better parent, I wouldn't have made as many mistakes when I was younger (but as I mentioned, I still say it's my fault, not my grandmother's).

In the case of my sister, sure, it's her fault that she kept having kids. But there's no way my grandmother can completely detach herself from that. There's no way she can truly believe that being very emotionally (and somewhat physically) abusive didn't contribute to the fact that nearly every single child she's raised ended up on the streets/in jail/on drugs/selling drugs/in gangs, etc. Not trying to put all the blame on her or anything, but she definitely played a role.

[Woozie]

it's the fault of the company you keep. If you hang out with the nerdy kids on the left side of the cafeteria, you'd never get laid. Joking aside, I don't think anyone brought up the company you keep and the friends you have. I think that's huge.

I *kinda* brought that up in mentioninig that teen pregnancy is the norm around here and in mentioning other enviromental apsects. But I think most people just include that in "society".