Teen Pregnancy; Parents Fault ?

[Correction]

Only the worst or completely absent parents fail to teach their children about consequences. And that one of the consequences of sex is pregnancy.

Even without parents you can't be completely shielded from similar scenarios in popular media, anybody with a reasoning brain will make the connection. Even a stupid teenager.

Given that it's almost always the fault of the teenager in America.

Boy that sure was easy!

[Kaylia]

I have my doubts that, from a strictly evolutionary standpoint, sex for pleasure is natural. I think you're mistaken in assuming that creatures (whether human or animal) don't have sex primarily for procreation. If you're an evolutionist (and I would imagine most people here are), humans are simply a more sophisticated evolution of an animal. I can't argue that humans mostly seek sex for pleasure (this much is obvious, even though sex isn't necessarily enjoyable for everyone, it's enjoyable for most), but I'm pretty sure we're alone in nature in that regard. No other animals seek out sex for pleasure, especially not female ones (I must admit the mental picture is rather humorous, though).

Anyway, not really relevant to the main discussion.

This come to mind.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=fbeiSgu52no

Anyway, pretty sure most animals seek out sex for pleasure. The "pleasure" part is why they mate.

All of the Above and here's a why/why not list on my thoughts on this issue/poll:
Parent A - It's not my fault because: I tried my best to teach my kids about sex, drugs, etc. I always supported him/her to do the best in whatever they did. I've tried very hard to keep talking and offering my advice and experience to him/her. I can only hope he/she makes the right choices but will support him/her whatever the outcome is.


Parent B - It's my fault, even though I will never recognize it because: Schools are teaching them what they need to know (it's redundant), I'm not going to impose my way of thinking on them (they wont listen to me anyway), I don't know how to relate to them (I'm not in the know/I'm not cool enough), I'm too busy with my life to deal with them (they say they're old/mature enough, let them deal with it), It's their lives they can live them however they want.


Teen A - It's not my fault beacuse: I didn't have sex, I had protected sex, I've seen what it does to some and I don't want to be another statistic, I listened to my parents but decided I have other more important things I want to do instead of getting (myself/someone) pregnant.


Teen B - It's my fault, but I'll conveniently blame someone else or act like it doesn't matter because: My parents/Goverment can always bail me out, I'm a product of a broken home, I was drunk/stoned, It just feels better without protection, I wanted to have this baby even when I didnt take into account what problems I might have, It's my life I'll live it however I want.


Society A - We're not guilty because: we've given out protection freely, we've added education to our schools on this, we've provided resources and people to deal with this, we've expected them to abide by their personal and moral values on this issue.


Society B - we are guilty, but you love us anyway because: we glorify sex without consecuences, we let you see the beauty of parenthood without the drawbacks, we need more people keep up our population and workforce supplied, we believe it's Your prerogative to live how You want (as long as you dont break our rules).

Agree 100% with this. Parent are responsible of their children's educations, and many of them fail at taking their responsabilities. Teens are stupids, and media (which is pretty much the "society") rarely do any good.

[Correction]

I have my doubts that, from a strictly evolutionary standpoint, sex for pleasure is natural. I think you're mistaken in assuming that creatures (whether human or animal) don't have sex primarily for procreation.

If sex didn't feel good it would never happen. Why would it be unnatural if it happened because it felt good? Why would evolution fail to select for those beings which took pleasure in the activities which best propagate the species? Do you think it's a complete fluke that peeing feels great and failing to pee hurts like a motherfucker?

[archibaldcrane]

It depends. If the parents gave the kids "the talk," told 'em to use rubbers, and generally did the right thing, and the dumb little breeders still went out and made a baby, then it's not really the parents' fault.

Basically this.

Parents need to talk to their kids about sex - even beyond "use a rubber". Tell your teenage girls that they don't need to have sex to prove their worth, build their self-esteem. Ask your kids about sex, about other kids in school, ask your teenager if she thinks it would be a good idea to start taking birth control.

Be non-judgemental and ask them to have an honest conversation with you, and not just once at 13 or whatever. Good parenting involves staying on top of what's going on in your kids' lives.

Then if they still get knocked up...yeah, they're just irresponsible or really unlucky. Very few parents really put forth the appropriate effort - sure it's uncomfortable but man the fuck up.

[Neosutra]

Fault always rests in the person commiting an offense. However the intelligent answer is to examine the social causes that encourage teen pregnancy. The most notable are:
1. Immaturaty (simple lack of understanding/responsibility).
2. Lack of proper sex education (yes everyone knows that babies come from sex, but most are not as influenced by their parent/education system that you need to use protection -every- time, no excuses).

This isnt really a debate, it is a clear case of oversimplification of a question and its answer.

The "fault" lies in teenager, whose actions are influenced by the society/parents that mentor them. Not a one way street.

[Kaylia]

Basically this.

Parents need to talk to their kids about sex - even beyond "use a rubber". Tell your teenage girls that they don't need to have sex to prove their worth, build their self-esteem. Ask your kids about sex, about other kids in school, ask your teenager if she thinks it would be a good idea to start taking birth control.

A simple warning isn't what I would call "education". The kid need to understand why it's his action are good or bad. If the parents never taught him how to respect other, how to plan his futur, how to be a "good" person, the kid won't listen, no matter how true the warning is..

[Dmitry]

I think the overglorification on having unprotected sex in the mainstream hip-hop community doesn't help, but when it comes down to it, I say the blame rests on the teens who decide to do it.

[Woozie]

I think the overglorification on having unprotected sex in the mainstream hip-hop community doesn't help, but when it comes down to it, I say the blame rests on the teens who decide to do it.

Uh........what kind of hip hop have you been listening to? They glorify sex, but not usually unprotected specifically. They occasionally say something to the contrary. Not to mention the general attitude in hip hop against having kids or being bound to a woman in any sort of way.

[Cletis]

my parents or society are not with me when i have sex.... so my fault.

[Dmitry]

Uh........what kind of hip hop have you been listening to? They glorify sex, but not usually unprotected specifically. They occasionally say something to the contrary. Not to mention the general attitude in hip hop against having kids or being bound to a woman in any sort of way.

I suppose my argument is null thanks to schrodinger's cat.

[Kiro]

I blame penises and vaginas.

[Lordwafik]

I do believe it's a society thing. Not necessarily "Glorified", but sex becoming something that is as common as saying hello, things will happen!

I'm sure in the Amish community for example, where sex isn't something they do when they hang out for the lulz or have fuck buddies, this isn't as much of a problem.

[Howard Roark]

the only time it's the parents fault is when one of the parents helped make the baby

in my country we call it incest

[Kiarax]

But you live in a made up land, that's not a country.

[Howard Roark]

hey now, hew now, whoa there, easy girl

4th option: blame canada

[Doombard]

Whats the difference between some teenager getting pregnant or some dumb whore who's 20ish getting pregnant? I can see if you are talking about someone who's 14-16 and got preggo because they will most likely (not always) become a burden on their family if they decide to keep the baby. But I see people who are in their early 20's getting knocked up and nobody really says a word about it, whereas if someone was 17-19 it would be the end of the world. Maybe I'm a little biased because my daughter was born when I was 20 and GF was 18 and it wasn't the end of the world. We don't leech off our family, we were responsible and saved up money while she was preggo and moved out on our own and there hasn't been a problem since. It just really pisses me off when I see shit on TV about some teen being pregnant and its like "omg ur dumb ur life is ruined" and portrays young people as being horrible parents. Maybe I'm just the minority of young people who are actually good parents and most are bad.

[Woozie]

Because at the younger ages they're still in high school? A high school student usually can't take care of themselves yet (legally, I mean) and will still be dependent on parents. It has nothing to do with thinking younger parents are worse and more to do with the fact that life is going to be much harder on them and that statistically they're less likely to make it to college and/or to a good career.

[layoneil]

Whats the difference between some teenager getting pregnant or some dumb whore who's 20ish getting pregnant? I can see if you are talking about someone who's 14-16 and got preggo because they will most likely (not always) become a burden on their family if they decide to keep the baby.

we are talking about 17 or under.

and i'm not even sure why it has to be explained why unplanned parenthood gets worse and worse as the parties involved gets younger and younger.

[kuronosan]

I voted for Parents because I didn't know that you could choose more than one... but more than anything I'd say society is to blame. People are so focused these days on exploring pleasure and pleasurable things without responsibility (credit cards, cash, jobs, conveniences, whatever) that they have no understanding of what responsibility is. The parents are the first people you can blame, because over time parenting has turned from strict policy and teaching your kids the difference from right and wrong into "OMG THE GOVMENT WILL TAK AR KIDS AWAY" parenting.

Since society has pretty much forced parents into a corner they can't get out of, they can't properly discipline or even level with their children. It's caused children to believe that sex is as natural as breathing (which it is, to some extent) and that their parents are there to handle it like everything else. So the teenagers are indirectly at fault, because they stupidly believe (as teenagers do) that getting their way and what they want is more important than taking responsibility for their actions.

It's no coincidence that ever since the government started getting involved with how children are raised there has been a huge increase in disobedient (and obese) children.

Whats the difference between some teenager getting pregnant or some dumb whore who's 20ish getting pregnant? I can see if you are talking about someone who's 14-16 and got preggo because they will most likely (not always) become a burden on their family if they decide to keep the baby. But I see people who are in their early 20's getting knocked up and nobody really says a word about it, whereas if someone was 17-19 it would be the end of the world. Maybe I'm a little biased because my daughter was born when I was 20 and GF was 18 and it wasn't the end of the world. We don't leech off our family, we were responsible and saved up money while she was preggo and moved out on our own and there hasn't been a problem since. It just really pisses me off when I see shit on TV about some teen being pregnant and its like "omg ur dumb ur life is ruined" and portrays young people as being horrible parents. Maybe I'm just the minority of young people who are actually good parents and most are bad.

The difference, to put it short, is that people still making mistakes well into adulthood (or post-college age) have probably already fucked up their chances at a good life early on. Teenagers, however, have not. That's why it's so essential that parents be allowed to take necessary action to prevent their kids from making stupid mistakes. Teenagers and people in general will always make what they believe to be the best choice for them at the time no matter what, but parents should be allowed to at least let them understand the difference between a good choice and what they think is a good choice.

Kudos to you for being an exception to the rule, but neither exceptions nor generalizations have ever been a majority.

[Talus]

If you're having sex it's a possibility. Abstinence is 100% effective. It's just a risk you take, consciously or subconsciously, when you have sex. I think it's been proven that sex-ed programs that teach abstinence only have failed miserably. If you're having sex though, you should be prepared for one of the consequences, which can end up being an unwanted pregnancy, in most teens' cases. I realize some teens may want to be parents, but most that are having sex probably don't. They just want to have sex because a) it feels good and b) it's cheaper than a movie, as long as you're not paying a hooker for it.

There's no easy solution but I agree with everyone that thinks we need to cut down unwanted pregnancies. I had a situation in my own life - a kid I used to coach is 18, his girlfriend is 17, he told me she was pregnant, and he's about to go to college. I can't remember what she does but I think she's a hostess at a restaurant. He told me he was going to "man up" and be with her, and take care of his kid. I told him they should really consider the other options - adoption, abortion. It's clearly an unwanted pregnancy, they have been together for three months, and now he's talking about marrying her. Why do people do that to themselves?