Notalwaysright.com

[eunhye]

Ever visit? I work in retail and I find stuff like this hillarious. Here's one:


http://notalwaysright.com/grannies-gotta-love-em/1168

Grannies: Gotta Love ‘Em
Grocery Store | West Texas, USA

(A new employee informs me that she spotted a little boy sneaking some candy in his pants. I confront the boy and an older woman about it.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Hey, kiddo, what’s in your pocket?”

Boy: “Nothing!”

Granny: “Oh, h***, again?! Boy, if you don’t put that d***ed candy back, that lady gonna call the po-po on you! And I ain’t gonna stop her none.”

(The boy, crying, hands me 2 candy bars and a handful of suckers. I thank the lady, and get back to work. A few minutes later, the boy’s mother comes up to me.)

Mama: “Is that the b****?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Mama: “Aint’ talking to you.”

Boy: “Yes, mama.”

Mama: “Girl, you being rude to my son?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Mama: “So why you take away his candy?”

Me: “Because it wasn’t paid for.”

Mama: “Says who? I got him that candy!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s at least 100 degrees outside, and your boy had unmelted chocolate in his pocket. He didn’t bring that in with him. Besides, he was seen taking the candy off the shelf.”

Mama: “What? Who said that?” *turns to the other cashiers* “Which one of you a**holes told on my boy?”

Me: “Excuse me, but that’s not important.”

Mama: “What’s your point, then?!”

Me: “The point is, your boy was caught stealing.”

Mama: “Forget about the d***ed candy, you nosy b****! Ain’t none of your business!”

Me: “Ma’am, your son was spotted shoplifting, which is a crime. You’re lucky I don’t report him.”

Mama: “You stupid b****! I don’t give a flying f*** about the candy!”

(She raises her hands as if to hit me.)

Me, to a coworker: “Call the manager, he should be in by now.”

(Just then, Granny appears out of nowhere and smacks her daughter with her handbag.)

Granny: “WHAT THE H*** YOU DOING, GIRL?” *continues to smack and berate her daughter* “Upsetting people like that! No common sense! S***! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!”

Mama: “But, Ma–”

Granny: “SHUT YOUR MOUTH GIRL! GET IN THE D***ED CAR!” *turns to me* “I’m so sorry about that. She crazy, I swear to God. She’ll never come back in here, I promise.”

Me: “…”

Granny, to daughter: “CAN’T TAKE YOUR CRAZY A** NOWHERE! S***!”

(She walks out like nothing happened, and true to her word, I’ve not seen that lady since.)

[Keria]

http://community.livejournal.com/customers_suck/

[Lbelle]

hah this site is pretty funny

The Logic Is Weak In This One
Retail | Victoria, BC, Canada

(A man comes out of the fitting room with a pair of pants and talks to my coworker.)

Customer: “So… it says here on the hanger, that it’s size 34. The tag says 34, and this other tag says 34. But there’s no freaking way I can fit into these! So what does that mean?

Coworker: “Well, I guess that means you’re not a size 34…”

Customer: “Oh. Thanks.”

[Ramor]

Kids, This Is What We Call “Scapegoating”
Retail | Orange, CA, USA

Kid: “Mommy, I want this candy!”

Mom: “No, you can’t have the candy. Put it back.”

Kid: “I WANT THIS CANDY!”

Mom: “You can’t have it!”

Kid: “I WANT THIS CANDY!”

(At this point, the mom takes the candy from the kid and hands it to me.)

Mom: *points at me* “The bad man took the candy! You can’t have it because the bad man took it!”

Kid: *in tears* “Why did you take the candy?!”

Me: *speechless*


awesome.

[Headspace]

Pretty much everything that's wrong with America on one site.

[Ramor]

Ah, Fathers, Part 2
Retail | Commack, NY, USA

(I’m working in an electronics retail store, and see a man in his late 40’s with a kid no older then 10.)

Me: “Welcome sir, did you get…”

(I look in his cart and see that it’s mostly filled with identical Spongebob DVDs.)

Me: “… everything?”

Man: “I guess so.”

Boy: “MORE SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!”

Man: “Alright, let’s go get some more.”

(About 5 minutes later he comes back, with more Spongebob DVDs… the same ones, to be exact.)

Man: “Alright, I think this is enough.”

(I ring him up, and the total comes to about $550.00 USD.)

Me: *whispering* “Uhh, sir… these are mostly the same thing.”

Man: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I hate my life anyway.”

HA OH MY GOD, that's so awesome and yet so sad

[Kiarax]

Me: “Hi, this is ***, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey, it says that I missed a security question and that I need to call this number to continue.”

Me: “Okay, what question did you miss?”

Caller: “I missed what is my favorite animal.”

(I get his personal information and look up his answer.)

Me: “Sir, the answer we have here says ‘Pussy’. You are aware that this is also the same answer you have for… your favorite food?”

Caller: *click*


Oh wow.

[KuaiEQ]

Me: “Hi, this is ***, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey, it says that I missed a security question and that I need to call this number to continue.”

Me: “Okay, what question did you miss?”

Caller: “I missed what is my favorite animal.”

(I get his personal information and look up his answer.)

Me: “Sir, the answer we have here says ‘Pussy’. You are aware that this is also the same answer you have for… your favorite food?”

Caller: *click*


Oh wow.

maybe he was korean?

[Lyrai]

Well Played, Indeed
Fast Food | North Dakota, USA

(This is a friend’s experience while working at a popular fast food place on the overnight shift.)

Employee: “Thanks for calling, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I came through drive-thru earlier tonight, and there’s something wrong with my food.”

Employee: “Um, okay…what’s wrong exactly?”

Customer: “Well, I ordered ***, and there was a used condom on the sandwich.”

Employee, holding in a laugh: “Sir, that’s impossible. We don’t practice safe sex here.”

Customer: “Well played.” *hangs up*


rofl

[Ramor]

wow, that one's pretty amazing

[Tokitoki]

I have a couple stories like this from working as a cashier in Stop and Shop. You get at least one good story every week or two, some better than others. My friend's mom also works in customer service, for Verizon. One day she told me a guy she was dealing with. I dont remember word for word what she said, but I remember the majority of the story.

Her: <something to the effect of Verizon Customer Service, how can I help you>

Man: Hi, I'd like to switch over to your telephone service and was wondering if I could get an estimate on installation and other fees.

Her: Sure, no problem. I just need to know where you live.

Man: <gives address>

Her: That is an apartment building correct?

Man: Yes it is.

Her: Can you give me your apartment number and floor please.

Man: I'm apartment C.

Her: Ok, what floor?

Man: I'm not sure.

Her: Ok well, how many flights of stairs do you walk up to get to your apartment?

Man: I don't know, Ive never used the stairs.

Her: Ok, well do you have an elevator in your apartment building then? What button do you press to get to your floor.

Man: I can't remember.

Her: Ok. Well do you have anything that says your floor number on it?

Man: No, I just moved in recently and don't have much here.
(Shes fed up at this point.)

Her: SIR! IF YOU JUMPED OUT THAT WINDOW RIGHT NOW HOW MANY WINDOWS WOULD YOU PASS ON THE WAY DOWN?!

Man: Oh, 4 windows not including my own, why?

Her: ...

[Not Kuno]

(At an ice cream shop)

Me: “Would you like any mix-ins with that?”

Older woman: “Yes, I would like almonds. But not too many, because I’m allergic, and if I have too many I will die.”

Me: …

[Lbelle]

that one with the spongebob is pretty good lol

[Tokitoki]

Me: “Good afternoon! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I’ll have a Grande Mocha Frappucino, please.”

Me: “Alrighty, that’s gonna run you $3.42.”

Customer: “Alright.” *begins to dig around in her purse*

Me: “I’m going to go ahead and get this started for you.”

(As I start to make the drink, I turn to look at the woman and notice that she is slowly making her way behind the counter.)

Me: “Uh, ma’am…”

(The woman proceeds to walk behind the counter, walk to a sink, wash her hands, wipe her hands, throw the paper towel away, and then walk right back around the counter and straight out the door. As my coworkers and I attempt to figure out what just happened, we watch her walk by the drive-thru window, around the building, around the building NEXT to our store, and then back into the store. The woman then approaches the counter.)

Customer: “So, what do I owe you?”

Me: “Uh, $3.42, please.”

Customer: “Sure.”

(An incredibly awkward silence follows.)

Customer: “So, what just happened?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “What just happened?”

Me: “I’m really not sure, ma’am!”

[Siegtaru]

^

I'm not sure either O.o

[Tokitoki]

(A mom and little girl are waiting in line. I watch from a different line.)

Little Girl: “Can I have this candy?”

Mom: “No, put it back.”

Little Girl: “But that’s not fair! That’s not fair!”

Mom: “Cut that out!”

Little Girl: *takes a deep breath and calms down, then turns to her mom* “I’m killing you. I’m going to kill you.”

Mom: “…”




What the fuck... seriously.

[Palin]

Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I help you?”

Guest: “Hi, yes, I’m calling because your hotel charged our credit card twice?”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, if I can have your name, I’ll look you up in the computer and we can get this straightened out.”

Guest: *morphs into an uber-witch in 3 seconds flat* “Straightened out? D**n right you’re going to get this straightened out! You charged enough for that crappy little room, I’ll be d**ned if we’re paying for it twice! My husband works too hard for his money to be charged double for something like this! There wasn’t even a BAR there!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if I can just have your name and the date you stayed–”

Guest: “That’s just IT! I was charged on two separate DATES. My name is _______ and my husband and I stayed there on June 9th. There’s another charge on there for the 17th, I want this fixed!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I understand, ma’am. I’m looking now, ma’am… okay, I see the problem. You did stay here on the 9th of June. I’m showing that someone by the name of [husband] stayed on the 17th.”

(There’s dead silence for a moment, and then whispering.)

Guest: “What?”

(At this point my stomach falls into my shoes, because I can hear her mind ticking away, and I know something she doesn’t: another name is listed on the screen with her husband’s for the June 17th stay, and it’s NOT HERS.)

Me: “Um… ma’am?”

Guest: “I see. You’ve been very helpful.”

Me: “Thank you ma’am. Can I help you with anything else today–”

(At this moment the woman drops the phone but does not hang up, and I hear her begin to scream at someone, swearing in combos I never would have thought up. I hang up quickly and try to go about my business, making a note of it to tell my boss. Then I get another phone call…)

Me: “Thank you for calling, how–”

Guest’s husband: “I want to talk to your manager, you stupid little b**ch! You dumb little c**t, you probably just cost me my marriage and I am going to sue your s**thole hotel for every penny it’s worth! Do you hear me? Do you?!”

Me: *click*

[Headspace]

Awesome.

[NotGreyheim]

(A teacher calls me to her classroom. She is trying to project an image on a screen behind a student for a TV camera shot with the projector at eye level in front of the student.)

Teacher: “There is a shadow behind the student now. How can I get rid of that?”

Me: “You can’t. He is blocking the light from the projector from getting to the screen. You could put the projector behind the student, but the image would be smaller on the screen.”

Teacher: “Then what can we do?”

(I get the idea of holding a piece of paper over part of the lens of the projector to create a square area where the student stands where no light would shine. This gives the shadow a bit neater of a shape rather than a human shape.)

Me: “Here, hold this paper over the left side of the lens where the student is standing.”

(The teacher puts a piece of paper RIGHT IN FRONT of the students face.)

Me: “No, right by the lens so a square unlit area will be where the student is standing.”

(The teacher moves the piece of paper and puts it directly BEHIND the students head.)

Me: “No, here…”

(I put the piece of paper in front of the projector lens, leaving a nice square dark area on the screen where the student would stand.)

Teacher: “Well now there is a square there! There is no image directly behind the student, just around the student!”

Me: “Yeah, I know. There is nothing you can do about that, though. It’s the physics of light.”

Teacher: “What if I ask your boss? Think he could do it?”

Me: “No, he cannot bend light around objects.”

Teacher: “Why not?”

Me: “Because he’s not a black hole.”

[Tricen]

Oh wow. lol...