[NSFW]Sexual help!

[Ramor]

Dutch rudder, it's totally not gay.

totally not, here try it.

[Bearsan]

I'd laugh and say something mean, but I'm a virgin. Good luck!

[Churchill]

Mental problem.

I usually just imagine this girl I used to date and that does it for me.

[archibaldcrane]

Yeah, for some reason I'm often if not usually thinking of other girls I've fucked when I'm trying to get off with whoever I'm with at the moment.

But hey, whatever works, just don't tell them.

[Drex]

If they're a terrible lay, say the wrong name on purpose and they'll never bug you again

[AkashiXI]

I'd laugh and say something mean, but I'm a virgin. Good luck!

Doesn't really make a difference for BG

[thestalkmore]

Doesn't really make a difference for BG

Should

[Jer]

Stop strangling your cock when you're jacking off.

Think of your purple-helmet'd warrior as a little soldier. Every time you masturbate you are sending him to Vietnam. When you then bring him home and it's peace time, he just can't function!

:D

[Akiyama]

LOL

[ZarakiKujata]

omfg lol
welcome to /b/g.....

Its Urologist not eurologist btw.. and like others have said its ok to be gay.

[Septimus]

It does mean a lot and it is a real problem. I have also gotten the suggestion to go to a eurologist for sex therapy with this partner. Is this viable and how much will this run me if I do go with this option?

Here's hoping that I'm not being Punk'd here but I will pretend that it is not a fake...

This condition exists, and is called "Delayed Ejaculation". The most typical cause would be considered "performance anxiety", although antidepressants in the SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors such as Prozac, Paxil, and Zolfot) category can cause this condition. If it is not caused by a SSRI, I would guess that it has become a vicious cycle- the harder you work to have a satisfactory ejaculation with this partner, the harder it becomes to have a satisfactory ejaculation. So basically, stop trying so hard and relax. Not measuring your performance off of someone else's expectations will go a long way to fixing the problem.

Paying attention to Psychology classes is fun.

P.S. This is for sex advice.

[Talus]

I would second what Septimus said - are you on an SSRI med? Are you depressed? Maybe you just aren't that into your partner, it's not that you can't ejaculate, you just can't with her. Is she a fat beast or something? Or maybe you're a chubby chaser at heart and she's skinny? It could be a lot of things, but since you said you can ejaculate when you jack off, it's more mental/psychological than anything else.

Most guys have the opposite problem from you, which is not lasting. You take it to the other extreme of not being able to finish.

[Kurp]

IP match please

[Day]

God I wish I had this problem. I have the exact opposite issue, sexual encounters are over faster than you can say premature.

[ferigor]

I don't know if this would relate to your problem, but its a heart warming story from my youth!

When I lost my virginity, I didn't cum. The girl and I had sex for 4.5~5 hours and nothing was going on. We tried everything (except anal, bitch.) and I was very into this girl, so those definitely weren't my problems. Eventually in the morning, she had to leave to go to work and as soon as she did I rubbed one out to make sure my shit wasn't broken.

Anyways, things between the chick and I got kind of weird and we didn't bone again. So a couple of months go by and I'm reading a Playboy, in particular the playboy adviser. Low and behold, someone asks a question which was pretty much identical to what had happened to me.

What happened, was a condition known as "Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome", or TMS. Basically, what happens is you masturbate "incorrectly" and it desensitizes parts of your penis. This happens when you masturbate "correctly" too, but if you masturbate incorrectly it can desensitize parts of your penis that are normally the parts that get the most action during sex. Generally, most people who have TMS can only orgasm in the missionary position, if at all. Something like 10% of men suffer from it, but most guys that it happens to don't think anything of it. I suggest googling it, I was able to find plenty of information, and this was like 8 years ago.

If your curious, there's a pretty easy solution to correct TMS too. Pretty much you just have to stop masturbating or having sex for a couple of weeks. After you abstain for awhile, start masturbating correctly until you can regularly reach orgasm through "standard methods". It can also be caused by "blunt trauma" to the penis, and in that case I'm not sure this method would work (if thats the case, I'd suggest going to the doctor). Doesn't really sound like your problem, but I thought I'd throw it out there just in case.

[The Stig]

There's that saying that goes:

"How do you get a gay man to fuck a girl? Shit in her cunt."

[Uzor]

Its possible to masturbate the wrong way?

I mean, yeah, naturally you're not supposed to slap it with a knife or put sharp objects in it and strangle the poor fella until he's blue, but how exactly does one masturbate the "wrong way"?

[The Stig]

Its possible to masturbate the wrong way?

I mean, yeah, naturally you're not supposed to slap it with a knife or put sharp objects in it and strangle the poor fella until he's blue, but how exactly does one masturbate the "wrong way"?

I was just thinking that too.

Also, this thread seems to suggest if you masturbate too much when the time comes and you actually fuck a girl it won't work ... ? I need more explaination here haha, I don't want to have potential fucked up kids...

[Muffins]

I was just thinking that too.

Also, this thread seems to suggest if you masturbate too much when the time comes and you actually fuck a girl it won't work ... ? I need more explaination here haha, I don't want to have potential fucked up kids...

I'm no expert on this, but I remember someone telling me something about this, too. Basically, from what I know and remember, the "head" of the penis (much like the clitoris) is densely packed with nerves and is super sensitive. Frequent masturbation and excessive friction on the head while masturbating can lead to the nerves becoming damaged, leading to loss of sensation. As it was suggested, abstinence is the only recourse because it allows the damaged nerves to heal and repair themselves. (Damaged in the sense that they're worn out, dulled may be a better word) Of course, if the problem is gaining in severity enough (can't feel anything, can't have an erection, unable to orgasm), it's time to see a doctor.

Additionally, there're all kinds of psychological and cognitive factors that could be involved in the OP's case. Without having complete info, it's hard to pin it down on what might be the cause(s).

What ferigor mentions, though, is masturbating in a prone position. Which has its own set of problems leading to TMS. But TMS, as far as I've read now, is not a recognized syndrome and might require more study. (hooray for the google)

[Vigilia]

What Ferigor said, I had a boyfriend in college who was suffering from something similar to TMS when we got together (he was a virgin, second serious boyfriend to me). We would have sex for hours and he could not come because it didn't feel "right" to what he was used to from years of jerking off. Simple solution was to completely abstain for a month or so and things improved significantly. We broke up after a year because he got so happy about himself he wanted to start sleeping around.
You say you've been able to come with other girls before, but was there a long gap between previous girl and this one when it was just you and your hand? That, paired up with the anxieties Septimus listed might be a possible cause?

I don't think there's anything wrong with masturbation per se but if it's all you've ever been accustomed to and if you've mentally "trained" yourself to come when you think/do certain things, it can be harder with a real partner who doesn't necessarily do the same things or sound/feel the same as your imaginary wanking partners. It's perfectly normal to think of other things during sex btw, no matter how much you love your partner or are into them, most people's minds drift naturally and do what you need to do to get into the mindset you need to be in to orgasm.