So I farted, big deal.

**Conrad** · 2008-12-16 07:39

Sort of related:

A few years ago before my grandfather died, he had undergone surgery to remove his colon, resulting in him needing a colostomy bag. One night when we visited, my dad was standing on the porch smoking a cigarette, and my grandfather came out to talk to him...

All of a sudden, my dad comes into the house screaming. His father, my grandfather, had opened the bag next to him as a joke. Apparently the smell was so bad, even outside, that my father couldn't stand anywhere near him. He still says that it's the worst thing he's ever smelled in his life.

I miss my grandpa.

**Olo401** · 2008-12-16 08:50

Originally Posted by Kohan

Despite its being old, I had never watched Cakefarts before. And now that I have, all that I can say is it's fucking hilarious.

It's a good thing my boss is away today and my coworkers haven't shown up yet, because I'm laughing my balls off at the meatloaf one.

**ChooChooTrain** · 2008-12-16 16:43

Originally Posted by Skirkle

Sort of related:

A few years ago before my grandfather died, he had undergone surgery to remove his colon, resulting in him needing a colostomy bag. One night when we visited, my dad was standing on the porch smoking a cigarette, and my grandfather came out to talk to him...

All of a sudden, my dad comes into the house screaming. His father, my grandfather, had opened the bag next to him as a joke. Apparently the smell was so bad, even outside, that my father couldn't stand anywhere near him. He still says that it's the worst thing he's ever smelled in his life.

I miss my grandpa.

I just laughed so hard because of this. Haha.

**Nystul** · 2008-12-17 19:34

Originally Posted by Lordwafik

In regards to ones own brand : The only time I really can't stand my own ones are the ones in the shower, the steam amplifies how terrible they really are, maybe colder showers would be more fart friendly!

My theory is that shower farts are the worst because there is frame of reference. THere you are surrounded by water and clean, fresh smelling soaps. The fart has an anchor to rate how bad it smells. I mean, the same fart when in a pig farm wouldn't rate so bad because whats around it is already bad. IT's like cologne on someone who smokes. It doesn't cover up the cigarette smell, it just gives you something good to compare the bad smell making it even worse.

Incidentally, this is key to my argument that bathroom air freshener is a waste of money.

**Vanostek** · 2008-12-19 19:24

My ex-GF wouldn't let me go in the bathroom for at least 1/2 an hour if she went #2. I think if we smell it all the romance is gone lol.

**MisterBob** · 2008-12-19 19:32

Originally Posted by Nystul

My theory is that shower farts are the worst because there is frame of reference. THere you are surrounded by water and clean, fresh smelling soaps. The fart has an anchor to rate how bad it smells. I mean, the same fart when in a pig farm wouldn't rate so bad because whats around it is already bad. IT's like cologne on someone who smokes. It doesn't cover up the cigarette smell, it just gives you something good to compare the bad smell making it even worse.

Incidentally, this is key to my argument that bathroom air freshener is a waste of money.

They're actually the worst due to all of the moisture in the air.

**Rakiel** · 2008-12-19 19:38

I was sitting in my 7th grade homeroom, taking one of those standardized tests. The desks in my middle school were those old metal ones with wood seats/backs. In the middle of the math part of the test, while the classroom was dead silent, I let one rip that sounded like a tree falling for about 5-6 seconds and stank like you wouldn't believe.

My teacher (once done laughing) made me take the rest of the exam by the window

. I'm still kinda proud of that one.

**Lbelle** · 2008-12-19 22:55

somewhat related: Has anyone ever laughed so hard that they peed their pants?

**Maguspk** · 2008-12-19 22:57

Originally Posted by Lbelle

somewhat related: Has anyone ever laughed so hard that they peed their pants?

No, but I've sneezed so hard I've farted. Slightly more on-topic.

**chillin** · 2008-12-20 01:46

Originally Posted by Lbelle

somewhat related: Has anyone ever laughed so hard that they peed their pants?

just a little

**Hofofosho** · 2008-12-20 08:22

break wind: its called that b/c your wind is breaking through the wall of your anus.

sad to say, my fiancee and i tend to have a constant contest for our farts. he's usually the one losing.

or whats better, are those farts you get when your running. best sound ever. i honestly wonder what a fart would sound like through a tuba...

**Jotaru** · 2008-12-20 08:48

Please tell me I'm not the only one who can't totally rip ass

Like, I never have to fart.

Sometimes, maybe once a day, usually tiny ones. I make big world breakers like, once every other week, if that

/cry

**Kohan** · 2008-12-20 08:52

Originally Posted by Jotaru

Please tell me I'm not the only one who can't totally rip ass

Like, I never have to fart.

Sometimes, maybe once a day, usually tiny ones. I make big world breakers like, once every other week, if that

/cry

You fart in your sleep. That is why you're denied the wonder otherwise.

**Hofofosho** · 2008-12-20 08:53

/comfort

maybe you need to practice.

i grew up with uncles being able to clear the whole kitchen/dining area with the sliding door open with one nasty fart. had to learn how to get them back somehow. >.> (oh yea, and we couldnt open the refrigerator door without repercussions too, according to my mom)

**Jotaru** · 2008-12-20 08:55

They farted at you if you opened the fridge?...

Nice!

**Hofofosho** · 2008-12-20 08:59

not farted at, per say. but someone usually had to rip ass when the fridge door was opened. all of us kids had to endure being sat on and farted upon. srsly, those were the days...

(i think thats why we all played outside most of the time. got away from the stinky adults and getting yelled at to get out of their tv view line)

**Kohan** · 2008-12-20 09:01

Originally Posted by Hofofosho

not farted at, per say. but someone usually had to rip ass when the fridge door was opened. all of us kids had to endure being sat on and farted upon. srsly, those were the days...

I approve of this. All of it.

**Hofofosho** · 2008-12-20 09:53

want more stories?
like the one time i had my dad trapped in the car during a storm and let one loose. . .

**Serif** · 2008-12-20 16:30

When you were in Elementary School at lunch did you have adults in there making sure you didn't throw food and all that shit?

My friends Mom was one of those and if you misbehaved you basically got written up, demerits or whatever you call them.

Well to make a long story short, I picked the worse time in the world to let one rip when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. Apparently there was a memo passed around for all students to be quiet at this exact moment because I ripped one of the largest farts in my life. My friends Mom proceeded to look who did the deed and wrote me a demerit for farting too loudly in the cafeteria.

Bitch

**Maguspk** · 2008-12-20 19:21

Originally Posted by Serif

When you were in Elementary School at lunch did you have adults in there making sure you didn't throw food and all that shit?

My friends Mom was one of those and if you misbehaved you basically got written up, demerits or whatever you call them.

Well to make a long story short, I picked the worse time in the world to let one rip when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. Apparently there was a memo passed around for all students to be quiet at this exact moment because I ripped one of the largest farts in my life. My friends Mom proceeded to look who did the deed and wrote me a demerit for farting too loudly in the cafeteria.

Bitch

the fuck!? I would've slapped a bitch.

Thread: So I farted, big deal.

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