You've got to be joking......

[Saga]

How many members of a given ethnic group does it take to perform a menial task?

Spoiler: show

A finite positive integer! One to perform the menial task, and the others to behave stereotypically of said ethnic group.

[Zanz L. Barre The 3rd]

How many members of a given ethnic group does it take to perform a menial task?

Spoiler: show

A finite positive integer! One to perform the menial task, and the others to behave stereotypically of said ethnic group.

can we please fucking stop with this racist bullshit, getting really old

[Deftscythe]

How many members of a given ethnic group does it take to perform a menial task?

Spoiler: show

A finite positive integer! One to perform the menial task, and the others to behave stereotypically of said ethnic group.

This is a favorite of mine, though it's difficult to deliver in person. I seem to recall someone having it as their sig for a while.

[Melena]

A Russian, a Mexican, and a Redneck are all on a plane together. The plane starts having engine problems and the captain tells them they have to lighten the load. The Russian gets up first, opens up his suitcase and pulls out a large bottle of vodka. He takes a huge swig of it, then says there's plenty of this in mother russia and tosses the vodka and suitcase out of the plane. The Mexican then stands up and grabs his suitcase and pulls out a huge bottle of tequila. He takes a huge swig and proclaims there is plenty more in the Cantina's back home and tosses the bottle and suitcase out of the plane. The redneck then stands up, grabs the mexican and throws him out of the plane, then looks at the Russian and tells him there plenty of those where he comes from.

[Plow]

I like how if your jokes are retarded it must be because people are offended by racism in humor.


No possible way the jokes are just retarded once you're out of 4th grade or anything.

[Jedimasta]

I know a few girls who gag at this one when I tell them.

How can a girl tell if a man has a high sperm count?

Spoiler: show

She has to chew before she swallows.

[Kohan]

I like how if your jokes are retarded it must be because people are offended by racism in humor.

No possible way the jokes are just retarded once you're out of 4th grade or anything.

Yeah, because all the successful comedians in the industry -- including some of the most intellectual -- only use jokes they'd pulled off of popsicle sticks. Now that's the epitome of humor. Being able to laugh about the ridiculous stereotypes man plasters to its groups according to color, gender, and social status? Only immature kiddies do that stuff.

An essential part of the greatest jokes are how quickly their punchlines can be delivered. The majority of entertaining comedians out there have acts that are truthfully a multitude of jokes strung through one over-arcing, funny story, which provide plenty of laughs along the way, and -- ideally -- more at the end. If all those little parts weren't funny, the act would bore, and you'd stop listening.

Compact jokes are an art. If they don't amuse you, very well. If they make someone else laugh, that isn't a testament to their immaturity (unless they actually believe in the stereotypes and/or situations which these jokes mock). It means that the joke was successful.

[TheShadyMan]

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

Spoiler: show

I can't jelly my cock down your throat

[untouchable]

what do you call a school bus full of white kids?

Spoiler: show

a twinkie

[Tricen]

Oh, so you guys wanna hear a joke?

Spoiler: show

Women's Rights LOLOLOLOL

[The_OG_Nelta]

lol....

[Nekonaruto]

I know it's a written joke thread, but this is the only way to tell the baby joke Wafik was talking about.

Spoiler: show

http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p...4438135189.jpg

Anyways, my time:

A man is walking on the beach, after a while he spots an armless, legless woman who's crying, lying on the beach. He walks up to her and asks her what's wrong, she replies, still sobbing: "I've never been kissed in my whole life".

The man shrugs, kneels down and kisses her, then walks away. After a while he comes across the same spot and she's still lying there, crying louder than before. He walks up to her again and asks her again what the matter was. She goes: "I've never been fucked in my whole life"; so the man

Spoiler: show

picks her up, throws her into the ocean and screams: "YOU'RE FUCKED NOW!"

[Ruiner]

Gonna pull out an oldie but goodie...

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

Spoiler: show

Because she was a woman.

[kuronosan]

Gonna pull out an oldie but goodie...

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

Spoiler: show

Because she was a woman.

dear fucking God I laughed louder than I should have...

Here's a dumb racist one:

What do you call a Mexican marathon runner?

Spoiler: show

Depends on how fast your train is going.

[Zilong]

Gonna pull out an oldie but goodie...

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

Spoiler: show

Because she was a woman.

How did hellen keller broke her arm?

Spoiler: show

She was trying to read the street sign

[TheShadyMan]

What do you call a black man flying an airplane?

Spoiler: show

A pilot, you racist bastard.

[Day]

Whats a cue ball and a mexican have in common?

Spoiler: show

The harder you hit them, the more english you get out of them

[Velgadess]

With a sheep under his arm, a man walks into his bedroom and stands in front of his wife.

"This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache," he says.

The wife looks at him and replies, "That's a sheep under your arm."

He says, "I wasn't talking to you."

[Raide]

Trying something different here:

Where does the one legged waitress work?

Spoiler: show

IHOP

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

Spoiler: show

Dam!!

How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?

Spoiler: show

Give her a shovel

How did they know Kurt Cobain had dandruff?

Spoiler: show

They found his head and shoulders on the floor.

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?

Spoiler: show

He's all right now.

[Izzy]

How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?

Spoiler: show

Give her a shovel

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA