NFL Divisional Round Playoffs - Often Imitated, Never Duplicated!

[Dimmauk]

Matt Mosley's Jerry Jones and John Garrett voices are hysterical, and Galloway is good too, on 103.3 ESPN.

The Ticket blows though, not one credible person on that station.

I liked ESPN radio. We have the Ticket here, so I still get Rome and Patrick.

[MrW]

I like The Herd and the Scott Van Pelt Show. Mike Tirico makes me want to jerk off with sandpaper though. I think he's fucking retarded.

[Dimmauk]

It could be worse, Stephen A. Smith could be on the radio.

[Mizango]

Could be worse, you could have um...the...um.....um.....Hoshon...um.... Moreno....um....morning show.



Couldn't resist

[Dimmauk]

Pacman is going to stay in Dallas to pursue his dream of being on the Radio.

[Mizango]

Calling it now, he will land in Oakland or in Washington. I still cant rule out Cincinnati 100% though based on their track record.

[Dimmauk]

Calling it now, he will land in Oakland or in Washington. I still cant rule out Cincinnati 100% though based on their track record.

Which one has better Skript Clubz?

[Mizango]

lol basically.

[Weltall]

I love Rome, JT the Brick, Cowherd, etc

I can't stand Dan's show

[Deejay]

Best Radio host evar.

You haven't heard good/funny sports radio until you've sat through one of Dan Le Batard's shows. You can listen online at 790theticket.com

[RakEx]

Love when the sports guy back up my previously stated argument.

[qoute]GIANTS (-4) over Eagles
The most perplexing line of the playoffs. Because Philly shocked New York in a must-win Week 15 game that meant nothing to the Giants -- when they were dealing with the single biggest distraction of the season (Cheddar Plaxgate), no less -- that means Week 19 will be tight? Really? Doesn't matter that the Giants have been the best team all season, or that they thrive in those "We aren't getting enough respect" situations? You really think the Eagles will be moving the ball in Giants Stadium when they could barely move it in the Metrodome against a Vikings defense that was missing Pat Williams and Darren Sharper? Here was Philly's drive chart in that game:


Philadelphia Drive Summaries
START QTR POSS. YARD PLAYS YARDS RESULT
15:00 1 02:34 PHI 11 6 22 Punt
08:22 1 01:38 MIN 27 4 1 Field Goal
02:36 1 02:36 PHI 25 6 42 Field Goal
11:05 2 03:36 PHI 28 9 59 Field Goal
01:51 2 00:41 PHI 25 4 22 Intercepted Pass
00:18 2 00:18 PHI 44 3 12 End of Half
10:08 3 06:21 PHI 5 12 52 Punt
01:31 3 00:39 MIN 40 1 2 Fumble
14:38 4 05:20 PHI 20 8 42 Punt
06:53 4 00:16 PHI 29 1 71 71-Yard TD Pass
06:07 4 02:15 PHI 26 3 8 Punt
02:49 4 00:54 MIN 47 6 20 Field Goal



Just for the hell of it, here's their drive chart for their must-win game in Washington (Week 16):

Philadelphia Drive Summaries
START QTR POSS. YARD PLAYS YARDS RESULT
12:03 1 03:31 PHI 35 6 10 Punt
06:19 1 03:16 PHI 4 6 14 Punt
14:05 2 02:10 PHI 47 4 17 Punt
03:24 2 01:25 PHI 20 3 9 Punt
00:13 2 00:13 PHI 20 2 11 End of Half
15:00 3 03:33 PHI 17 7 13 Fumble
08:43 3 04:25 PHI 20 9 76 Field Goal
15:00 4 00:54 PHI 9 3 6 Punt
11:18 4 01:28 PHI 3 3 8 Punt
08:15 4 00:31 PHI 10 3 0 Punt
06:09 4 01:19 PHI 20 3 6 Punt
03:48 4 03:48 PHI 9 16 90 End of Game


Really, that's going to cut it in Giants Stadium? I don't see how the Eagles score more than 14 points unless Eli helps them. So, Eli, if you're reading, please know that, when Peyton's season died, my dream to go 11-0 in the playoffs died, too. But now, you're the one. You're the one who's gonna keep his spirit alive. You're the one who has to make sure the death of his season meant something. You're the one who has to make sure Archie remains in our lives for a few more weeks so I have someone to make fun of. You're the one who can still make the Manning Face but hopefully won't. You're the one who can guarantee us a rematch of that Week 16 Panthers-Giants classic. You're going to have to go through hell, and a bunch of disguised blitzes and cornerbacks jumping your out patterns, but in the end, I know you'll be the one standing. You know what you have to do. Do it. DO IT.[/qoute]

[RakEx]

Love when the sports guy back up my previously stated argument.

GIANTS (-4) over Eagles
The most perplexing line of the playoffs. Because Philly shocked New York in a must-win Week 15 game that meant nothing to the Giants -- when they were dealing with the single biggest distraction of the season (Cheddar Plaxgate), no less -- that means Week 19 will be tight? Really? Doesn't matter that the Giants have been the best team all season, or that they thrive in those "We aren't getting enough respect" situations? You really think the Eagles will be moving the ball in Giants Stadium when they could barely move it in the Metrodome against a Vikings defense that was missing Pat Williams and Darren Sharper? Here was Philly's drive chart in that game:


Philadelphia Drive Summaries
START QTR POSS. YARD PLAYS YARDS RESULT
15:00 1 02:34 PHI 11 6 22 Punt
08:22 1 01:38 MIN 27 4 1 Field Goal
02:36 1 02:36 PHI 25 6 42 Field Goal
11:05 2 03:36 PHI 28 9 59 Field Goal
01:51 2 00:41 PHI 25 4 22 Intercepted Pass
00:18 2 00:18 PHI 44 3 12 End of Half
10:08 3 06:21 PHI 5 12 52 Punt
01:31 3 00:39 MIN 40 1 2 Fumble
14:38 4 05:20 PHI 20 8 42 Punt
06:53 4 00:16 PHI 29 1 71 71-Yard TD Pass
06:07 4 02:15 PHI 26 3 8 Punt
02:49 4 00:54 MIN 47 6 20 Field Goal



Just for the hell of it, here's their drive chart for their must-win game in Washington (Week 16):

Philadelphia Drive Summaries
START QTR POSS. YARD PLAYS YARDS RESULT
12:03 1 03:31 PHI 35 6 10 Punt
06:19 1 03:16 PHI 4 6 14 Punt
14:05 2 02:10 PHI 47 4 17 Punt
03:24 2 01:25 PHI 20 3 9 Punt
00:13 2 00:13 PHI 20 2 11 End of Half
15:00 3 03:33 PHI 17 7 13 Fumble
08:43 3 04:25 PHI 20 9 76 Field Goal
15:00 4 00:54 PHI 9 3 6 Punt
11:18 4 01:28 PHI 3 3 8 Punt
08:15 4 00:31 PHI 10 3 0 Punt
06:09 4 01:19 PHI 20 3 6 Punt
03:48 4 03:48 PHI 9 16 90 End of Game


Really, that's going to cut it in Giants Stadium? I don't see how the Eagles score more than 14 points unless Eli helps them. So, Eli, if you're reading, please know that, when Peyton's season died, my dream to go 11-0 in the playoffs died, too. But now, you're the one. You're the one who's gonna keep his spirit alive. You're the one who has to make sure the death of his season meant something. You're the one who has to make sure Archie remains in our lives for a few more weeks so I have someone to make fun of. You're the one who can still make the Manning Face but hopefully won't. You're the one who can guarantee us a rematch of that Week 16 Panthers-Giants classic. You're going to have to go through hell, and a bunch of disguised blitzes and cornerbacks jumping your out patterns, but in the end, I know you'll be the one standing. You know what you have to do. Do it. DO IT

[MrW]

I can't stand Dan Le Retard. I stopped getting the Herald because I disliked his columns

[Deejay]

Holy god, I want to have the Sport's guy's babies.... I wouldn't have it any other way

[Deejay]

I can't stand Dan Le Retard. I stopped getting the Herald because I disliked his columns

I can't stand his columns/guest appearances on ESPN either, but his talk show is radio gold imo.

[Stiker]

The podcast of the fake Pacman Jones is up! Much better than me trying to write the jokes from memory:

1) Go to SportsRadio 1310 The Ticket
2) For NoScript: Allow theticket.com and thespringbox.com
3) Under the Banner "Dunham and Miller" look for the podcast labeled "Musers-Fake" and click the play button
4) ???
5) Profit

[Mizango]

The podcast of the fake Pacman Jones is up! Much better than me trying to write the jokes from memory:

1) Go to SportsRadio 1310 The Ticket
2) For NoScript: Allow theticket.com and thespringbox.com
3) Under the Banner "Dunham and Miller" look for the podcast labeled "Musers-Fake" and click the play button
4) ???
5) Profit

Awesome!

I love me some me.

[Dimmauk]

Is Owner Jones wising up? No, that’s asking too much
By RANDY GALLOWAY
[email protected]


PacRat Jones was told on Wednesday by the Cowboys to hit the door, and on a rare positive note, I’m briefly thinking Jerry Jones finally wised up and decided to stop being a tool for this fool.

Or even better, in admittedly a lengthy imagination stretch, could it have been the first personality transformation, as promised by Wade Phillips, who has pledged to become Chuck Norris instead of Barney Fife?

Think of that daily double. Jerry finds football religion and Wade gets tough, all in a single day. I don’t know of any church that could save that many sinners in one dunking.

Of course, if you wanted to get outrageous, and go with a 100-to-1 long shot, suddenly punting on PacRat also could have been a sound and professional football decision by Jones and Phillips. The guy is KP. Kan’t Play. So for no other reason than talent evaluation, the rodent was eliminated.

All of the above sounds good. But, of course, all of the above is also mere fantasy.

There was nothing noble, or nothing sensible, in the release of Pacman. The Cowboys did it because they were forced to do so.

ESPN had informed the NFL and Jerry Jones an hour earlier on Wednesday that a Sunday report would present never-before-released information of Packie’s involvement in another 2007 nightclub dispute that led to a shooting.

Las Vegas, you remember. But this incident had occurred in Atlanta while the player was serving a season-long suspension for his role in the fight and shooting in Vegas.

According to ESPN, there is security-camera video and allegations that the luvable PacRat directed a gang member to carry out the shooting.

And get this:

Jerry is now whining, according to ESPN, that NFL security never informed him of this second incident before the Cowboys acquired PacRat from the Titans in a trade last April.

Still being a tool for the fool, Jerry has no gripe coming, since he’s the same guy who ordered Pacman to be reinstated to the roster in December after he had already flunked the first probationary period after a fight with his bodyguard at a Dallas hotel. Six weeks of league suspension, and despite ample knowledge that Pacman had been mocking both him and commissioner Roger Goodell with his off-the-field visitation of banned establishments, and Jerry still allowed the guy to return.

The original acquisition of Pacman was questionable (do note I agreed with it in print at the time), but there was no reason to bring him back in December, other than the Cowboys have an owner who won’t admit a blunder and a head coach who is silly putty in that owner’s hands.

Even if we can thank ESPN for forcing Jerry to make a needed move, the fact he was forced does nothing to suggest the owner or the head coach are prepared to address the single most pressing team issue during the off-season.

The locker room is a toxic chemistry disaster, with no leadership, no accountability and no direction from Jerry, Wade or any player. It was a given that in attempting to solve this situation, the first three players who needed to go were Pacman, Tank Johnson, and, most of all, Eldorado Owens. Jerry talks of salary-cap ramifications if he releases Owens, but there are none that amount to anything remotely serious.

Plus, there are a collection of Eldorado parrots in that locker room — I mean you, Patrick Crayton, among others — and they also should be eliminated.

The Cowboys are going nowhere with this current cast of misfits, but without changing the atmosphere and chemistry of the locker room, and with Wade still being allowed to hang around, making his lame excuses, then there will be no T-E-A-M, and no chance to reverse an ongoing slide.

But just briefly on Wednesday, I admit to thinking Jerry had stumbled on to the right path, as in confessing his PacRat mistake, and dumping him for the good of the team. Tank would definitely be gone in free agency, and then maybe, just maybe, Eldo Owens would depart. OK, I was stupid.

But please, I was only joking with the comment about maybe this was a revelation on Wade, that he had toughen up. No way that’s a serious consideration.

Another joke was believing Jerry and Wade had teamed up to make a solid talent evaluation in releasing PacRat. I do believe in miracles, but let’s not get carried away.

If nothing else, getting rid of a bad guy and a bad player turned out to be a bad day for the Cowboys. Jerry did it for all the wrong reasons.

The season is over, but the Valley Ranch stupidity is forever.

[Akiyama]

That was great. Mexican Turnover, rofl.

[Mizango]

I love that article. 10/10.