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  1. #1
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    Travoltas Turn to Scientology, Hometown in Trying Times

    Quote Originally Posted by ABC
    As John Travolta and his wife, Kelly Preston, prepare to say goodbye to their 16-year-old son Jett Travolta, it's likely they'll draw on support from Scientology, the religion that has seen them through tragedies in the past, as well as residents in their current hometown of Ocala, Fla.
    May Zenu bless you and your family.

  2. #2

    Its Xenu, you blasphemous infidel. Now send your check of support in immediately!

  3. #3
    St. Fiat
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    What the hell is the afterlife in Scientology anyway?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alleya View Post
    What the hell is the afterlife in Scientology anyway?
    You will be teleported to a planet far far away or 77 virgin aliens?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alleya View Post
    What the hell is the afterlife in Scientology anyway?
    Not sure, but I think you have to pay someone $200 dollars to find out.

  6. #6
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    They seem to believe in some sort of reincarnation, since we are the embodiment of the soul of what seem to be victim of galactic ethnic cleansing of some sort according to them.

    Well, must suck if they believe in cycle of reincarnation, since the odds are it'd be a shittier next life than a family member of celebrities, even if you have some sort of disease.

  7. #7
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    Afterlife is kind of like a bad hentai. Poor Jett is probably being sodomized by tentacles as we speak.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by Alleya View Post
    What the hell is the afterlife in Scientology anyway?
    Timeshare.

  9. #9
    The God Damn Kuno
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    It's reincarnation, where if you believe in Scientology or are a higher level member, you get to be reborn as a member of the church again in the future.

  10. #10
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    Is the Wikipedia entry on Xenu a huge troll or is that serious? I've never looked in on Scientology before. I took it for granted, from other people's reactions, that these guys were crazy but holy fuck I didn't know it was this insane.

  11. #11
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    I heard you get buttsexed by Tom Cruise or something.

  12. #12
    The God Damn Kuno
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurp View Post
    Is the Wikipedia entry on Xenu a huge troll or is that serious? I've never looked in on Scientology before. I took it for granted, from other people's reactions, that these guys were crazy but holy fuck I didn't know it was this insane.
    It's all 100% true, it's OT3. Wall of fire, dying by pneumonia if you hear it too early, etc.

  13. #13
    The Mizzle Fizzle of Nikkei's Haremizzle

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elvis View Post
    Timeshare.

    ^ Brilliant.

  14. #14
    Sleep Deprived Galka BLM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not Kuno View Post
    It's all 100% true, it's OT3. Wall of fire, dying by pneumonia if you hear it too early, etc.
    I just tried reading the article on Xenu, and I swear you need a flow chart to figure that shit out. I don't understand how that makes sense to anybody, ever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Komm Suesser Tod View Post
    I just tried reading the article on Xenu, and I swear you need a flow chart to figure that shit out. I don't understand how that makes sense to anybody, ever.
    Well that's the whole trick to scientology. They don't tell you about Xenu first because it would run people off. They start with the dianetics and all the psychological crap first. That is the real hook.

    The goal seems to be that you get hooked with that kind of stuff as a low level member and it makes you feel better about yourself. Then you start to think "hey scientology really has something here." The more and more you dive into and start believing it and moving up, then you find out about Xenu and crap. By then though you are already buying/believing so much into their bullshit you are fine with it.

    At least I'm pretty sure how this whole mess progresses. If I'm wrong, correct me.

  16. #16
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    I am baffled as to why people are actually believing this BS. Do they believe in scientology instead of the regular ones for sake of being nonconformist? The main religions are at least backed by pedigree and traditions. How does Scientology retain celebrity members when they are already married and filthy rich?

  17. #17

    Quote Originally Posted by 0ni0n View Post
    I am baffled as to why people are actually believing this BS. Do they believe in scientology instead of the regular ones for sake of being nonconformist? The main religions are at least backed by pedigree and traditions. How does Scientology retain celebrity members when they are already married and filthy rich?
    Catering to their egos.

  18. #18
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    My question is this: Why not come up with something less insane for an origin story? I mean, when making this religion, Hubbard actually could have tried to be plausible.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxxthepenguin View Post
    My question is this: Why not come up with something less insane for an origin story? I mean, when making this religion, Hubbard actually could have tried to be plausible.
    And the Garden of Eden and the talking snake are?

  20. #20
    The Mizzle Fizzle of Nikkei's Haremizzle

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    Quote Originally Posted by Komm Suesser Tod View Post
    I just tried reading the article on Xenu, and I swear you need a flow chart to figure that shit out. I don't understand how that makes sense to anybody, ever.

    Basically, he is an imaginary person that give you a set of laws and rule to abide by. Only those who choose to follow and live by his rules and his rules ONLY will be allowed to live in eternal bliss and happiness in a self contained paradise of reincarnation.


    Fucking bat shit crazy huh? Tell me about it.

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