Actually quite scared... Need advice.

[Kaelia]

Crazy bitches make me lol at first, and then lose a little bit of faith in my own gender. She won't get shit.

[Penthesilea]

Pretty sure voice recordings are thrown out if all parties are not aware they're being recorded. This could be a state to state thing though.

[Drex]

If she keeps around a ring fro,m an old boyfriend in the first place, and it means so much to her, why did you date her at all? Crazy bitch is crazy.

[Sol-Blackguy]

Girl was crazy when she decided to give you a ring that a previous boyfriend gave her. I would've had my doubts then.

^
This

I've had my run with a few crazy bitches and now I'm more aware of the red flags. Toss some money at her ass (maybe ~$150) because she's going to lie about how much it's worth, get the restraining order, and have a moment of personal reflection.

[pohibaba]

Sounds to me like you're an asshole who threw away property that wasn't yours. I hope she finds these boards as your first pos would be enough to make you cough up the money for the ring.

[Mizango]

C'mon dog stop throw salt in his game.

[Jotaru]

Sure, if he lies in court and says there was no agreement. But that's not the case, and lying in court is about as retarded as you can get.

Were it to go anywhere, it'd be small claims court, and what I'd say would simply be, it was a gift, I threw it out, forgot about it / didn't care / she never said, whatever. Small claims won't take your ass for perjury when there's no proof of anything involved- even if there is, I don't think they can, but I've never been to court!

[Jaybar]

I thought that gifts are, in a legal sense, the new owners property. If she agrees that she gave you the ring as a gift of ... I don't know let's say trust, then you shouldn't have any obligation to give it back.

Of course, if she doesn't agree that it's a gift, then she is lying.

[Norellicus]

Pretty sure voice recordings are thrown out if all parties are not aware they're being recorded. This could be a state to state thing though.

At least as far as a federal court is concerned, it depends on locale and reasonable belief of privacy. If you're anywhere public and aren't aware of the recording taking place, it can still be used in court as theoretically anyone could have heard the conversation and testified to it, it just happened to be a tape recorder doing the 'hearing'. Do it while at home with the crazy bitch though, and it's not permitted as evidence because you have reasonable belief of privacy while in your residence.

[kuronosan]

Uh a guy that broke up with a girl and wanted to get rid of the shit she gave him?

So then just fucking should have given it back. What was so difficult about that?

The hell were you thinking taking a ring she gave to a guy before you? I'd have been pissed too if I gave you something of value to me and you threw it out.

Court rules aside when it comes to possession of gifts, you're still an asshole for knowingly throwing out something you shouldn't have. You're asking this board for a way out of a situation you got yourself willingly into.

Be a fucking man.

[Kurt Cobain]

do you see her on a daily basis? if not, then screen your calls and sever all communique between you and her, i.e. facebook/myspace/aim/msn/unused conversation medium, and never talk to her again. if she wants it bad enough and gets the police or whatever on you just lie, say I DUNNO THIS CRAZY BITCH, it worked for colin farrell in phone booth, it can work for you

[Katlan]

The hell were you thinking taking a ring she gave to a guy before you? I'd have been pissed too if I gave you something of value to me and you threw it out.

Seriously... rule #1 - dont accept shit that was traded in past relationships... and how the fuck old are you to toss shit out just cause of a failed relationship? So yeah... I'd be pretty dumb if I threw out all my crap I got in past relationships just cause of some lame reason...

Taking bets on OP being a highschooler & this being his first relationship

Spoiler: show

and lol at you actually being worried she can do something to you over a ring.. common knowledge of the legal system would make you less a noob irl

[Woozie]

I don't know why you would throw away the ring instead of giving it back. It makes absolutely no sense. You agreed to give it back if you broke up, you should have done so. You should have known throwing it out instead would only cause problems. The only thing I can think of is that you were purposely trying to be a douche and now that's coming back on you.

Find out how much the ring was worth and pay her back. Even if she did take you to court, the most she'd possibly be able to do is make you pay her back the value of the ring, so if you just go ahead and do so now, the situation should be resolved. I feel like you owe it to her to do at least that anyways.

[Jaybar]

Omg Jason Segal wasn't a highschooler and he threw out all of Sarah Marshall's stuff she gave him or reminded him of!

And yes, I do agree with most of the recent posters, you got yourself into this mess. But the only advice I, or anyone can give, is how to get you out of it. It seems quite clear that she will not settle on a money settlement (crazy bitches want their rings).

[Tristam]

Don't be scared at all, and if she's (lol)threatening to bring the cops (who, I'm sure, have better things to do) offer to financially reimburse her. If she continues to be stupid about this then let her go to small claims court, it'll cost you whatever the judgement is + around 50 bucks for her filing fee, and you don't need an attorney or anything fancy. They also won't give a crap about sentimental value or whatever.

And seriously, this is the girl's fault for giving something of sentimental value that she would only "get back" if/when the shit hit the fan, lesson learned for her. Don't give away shit you're not prepared to lose forever, special relevance to relationships.

[Silviya]

Who throws out perfictly good things? Do they not have pawn shops where you live?

[Tristam]

I don't know why you would throw away the ring instead of giving it back. It makes absolutely no sense. You agreed to give it back if you broke up, you should have done so. You should have known throwing it out instead would only cause problems. The only thing I can think of is that you were purposely trying to be a douche and now that's coming back on you.

Find out how much the ring was worth and pay her back. Even if she did take you to court, the most she'd possibly be able to do is make you pay her back the value of the ring, so if you just go ahead and do so now, the situation should be resolved. I feel like you owe it to her to do at least that anyways.

breakups make people do crazy shit, one buddy of mine broke up with a girl and she went nuts, snuk into his house, and smashed bottles of wine (not cheap either) all over the kitchen floor. We were talking about it after and his reaction was basically along the lines of "well, it could've been worse."

A girl I knew cheated on her bf in college and he raged and tore up notebooks/journals she had been keeping since middle school. I'm not saying any of this is right, just that I've seen worse shit happen to better people. In the grand scheme of things I bet she's just pissed off at the OP for reasons unrelated to the ring itself and is just taking it out on him.

[Penthesilea]

Timeframe also helps here. Did you throw the ring out immediately? Did she leave her shit at your place and didn't bother getting it for months?

I haven't watched enough daytime court TV to know the rules, but these things seem pretty common sense.

[Teffy]

Wow, so much wrong in this thread, the best advice is not to get legal advice on BG. With that said, here is my legal advice.

The ring was a gift, ownership passed to you, she has no right to it. She'd have to show you that 1. it was somehow not a gift, 2. you expressly agreed that she was only giving you the ring if you gave it back after. She can't really do 1., 2 is also a bitch.

The cops won't do anything unless she lies to them about how you got the ring from her, which she sounds pretty crazy and might do. You can get a lawyer to send her letters to stop the harassment and warn against a court trial and paying your fees if she does.

The stuff that jmcgarrel said is good and right, depending on how far you want to take this situation. Lawyers are expensive so try the free shit first, and inform her of them.

As a last note, please never listen to Tomk on anything concerning legal matters, and lol at a girl giving a guy a ring from a former boyfriend, that's worth posting in this alone.

oh and here's a link to the "whether you can record conversations" list as it varies by state whether the other person has to know. It says telephone conversations, but it extends to in person too.

COVERTLY RECORDING TELEPHONE CONVERSATIONS

[Ksandra]

Here is my advice from watching mad Judge Judy (iono why I love it, I just do):

Verbal agreements CAN hold up in court. if the judge is good and can tell if you're lying or not. Now, one thing I think may be able to help you is, there are certain states that require if an engagement is broken, then the man gets the ring back. Other states don't have that law.

Find out if yours does. If it doesn't you can hold that against her and say, even engagement rings aren't required to be returned.

Otherwise you might need to reimburse her money-wise.