BG tell me: How do I avoid getting picked on a jury?

[Aerides]

I have to start calling in tonight for potential county jury selection all week. Can't delay it, this is my 2nd reschedule. Aside from the normal reasons of not wanting to do it, I am employed, manage others, and quite honestly don't want to give the impression that they can do without me for a few weeks in this economy.

Also, it's 8am every day 30 miles north of my house so that's not happening (I'd have to go to bed earlier and leave LS events early!)

The general tips I've been given go along the lines of:

- Say you naturally assume if they arrested someone there's a damn good reason
- Say I'm friends with several police officers (ok but I'm not and if pressed this won't work)
- Fail at paying attention and generally act stupid and incapable of intelligent decision making

There have to be some more tried and true methods.

[Headspace]

Act racist.

[Blubbartron]

Displaying any racist or prejudiced tendencies should work, but by no means have I tested this myself. Obviously don't go too over the top with "dem dar naggers shouldn'ta bin stealin arr stuffs," or anything of the like, lest you get yourself thrown in jail.

[Meian]

I think my father avoided it once because it was a death penalty case and he said he was against it so he wasn't put in. Can't say that this is helpful for you though.

[MrW]

"I can tell if someone is guilty *snaps fingers* just like that."

That worked for me once. All the other times I was a full time college student so I was excused from jury duty.

[Dimmauk]

Call the appropriate court’s jury clerk and request to be relieved of jury service. You should also reply by mail to confirm receipt.

Complete the jury service exemption form, if provided. Most courts will relieve you of jury service for the following reasons; hardship, school conflict (only defers service), physical or mental impairment, vacation or other plans that conflict with service (only defers jury service), over 70 years old, not a U.S. citizen, convictions or current subject for a felony offense, not proficient in English, already served on jury within the past two years, member of the armed services, government employee whose job is in the emergency services field (such as firefighters, paramedics and policeman) or whose service would present a hardship to a government agency, and if you are under the age 18.

In many states, it is possible to demonstrate that you are unable to serve on a jury for financial reasons. Proof of employment and/or wages, in addition to comprehensive financial statements and the previous years taxes should all be brought to court with you on the first day you report to jury duty. If you can persuade the judge that it is unfeasible for you to miss work, you will have lost only one day of your time.

I've gotten out of every single jury duty summons.

[Maxxthepenguin]

Let your accent loose so they know you're not really American

[Seraph]

I have to start calling in tonight for potential county jury selection all week. Can't delay it, this is my 2nd reschedule. Aside from the normal reasons of not wanting to do it, I am employed, manage others, and quite honestly don't want to give the impression that they can do without me for a few weeks in this economy.

Also, it's 8am every day 30 miles north of my house so that's not happening (I'd have to go to bed earlier and leave LS events early!)

The general tips I've been given go along the lines of:

- Say you naturally assume if they arrested someone there's a damn good reason
- Say I'm friends with several police officers (ok but I'm not and if pressed this won't work)
- Fail at paying attention and generally act stupid and incapable of intelligent decision making

There have to be some more tried and true methods.

Your company cannot legally take any disciplinary action against you for serving jury duty. The worst thing that can happen is that you lose out on some potential money because what you are given for jury duty is probably less than what you normally make in a day.

Generally speaking, you do not want to lie while on jury duty. If you claim that you are not capable of performing jury duty, but are holding down _any_ sort of job (especially since you are a manager), it will be obvious that you are lying, and if you get a dick judge, they might keep you just out of spite. Just act disinterested, bring a book to read, and hope for the best.

[The Blackrose]

Try to spout off some shit you saw on CSI, like creating a GUI in Visual Basic to trace an IP, and hope you sound "smart" enough that they'll blow an exemption on you.

Well, assuming it is that kind of trial.

[Azalee]

As said earlier, just act like you are racist.

[Kaslo]

Tell them you have been in law school for a semester.

[Maxxthepenguin]

But one thing is for sure: You do not want to do jury duty

Evidence:
Jury Duty => Anal Fissure pt 1

Jury Duty => Anal Fissure pt 2

(btw these are fucking hilarious must read AAA)

[Quixon]

When I went I just said that the defense lawyer had represented a family member of mine, conflict of interest ftw. It's really easy to get out of, but your going to have to miss at least 1 day of work I would assume.

If you call up the Juror # and they call you. You show up to the court house and sit through a bunch of bullshit talking. Then the lawyers take a certain # of those people to another room and start polling them to see if they want them on the case.

[kuronosan]

Just serve your time like everyone else. They have to screen you anyway, and most of the time they won't pick people with biased knowledge on the subject. Christ sakes. Serve your country.

[Rowe]

A few years ago I had jury duty and there was a good looking assistant DA lady. I so wanted to get picked but being a white guy the defense attorney excluded me first. I was very disappointed because that lovely Assistant DA couldn't keep her eyes off me.

[Mizango]

"I don't see what god has to do with this, not like he real anything, amirite or amirite?"


Should be in and out in 4 mins flat.

[Seraph]

Refried beans the night before. Lots of them. Impress them with your gas.

[Dimmauk]

I had a Co-worker go to Jury Duty. I told him to try to get out, but he was just said "it will probably be some traffic violation" Six months later he comes back to work after a long Murder trial. He was sequestered the whole time.

[Aerides]

Maxx fix the Bob links they are dupes to the same page.

Oh and fix title pls to "how do" instead of "how to".

And yeah, I know my company can't fire be "because" of jury duty, but I'm in the financial sector so it's real iffy right now. Be happy to serve if I lose my job, not so much before.

[test123]

Act racist.

only works on 99% of the cases tho