Step-parenting 101

[0ni0n]

No.

edit: Yes, Shue, I'm so selfish I let my father max out my credit cards and fuck up my credit because it was more important to him to impress his girlfriend before he married her than it was to be responsible.

Piss off if you have no constructive criticism to offer. I don't need trolls.

Either way, it sounds like saving up, getting a steady job and moving out would be THE option. It depends on where and how you live, a combined income of $1500 should be enough for you and your gf if you are in your early 20s, barring student, car loans and mortgages that you may have.

[Shuemue]

So you helped him get together with her and now you don't like the consequences. Suck it up. He's your father, she's his wife, it's their house. You know where the door is.

[Pirian]

Sounds like your problem goes a little deeper than your stepmother, buddy.

[Tyche]

So why don't you move in with your mom?

[Shuemue]

Oh man don't even get him started on his stepdad...

[Seraph]

I was in an extremely similar situation, except my step mother had the issue specifically with me, and not my girlfriend, which made it a little easier to manipulate only having one woman in the equation.

My rule of thumb was this: If the step mother didn't cause shit or obviously disrespect me, I would let pretty much everything slide. If she asked for me to do something stupid, I would do it. As long as she was not actively riding my ass, I wouldn't be confrontational. When she did start shit, I would just be extremely difficult without being disrespectful. It let me get to her without getting the old man involved.

Just remember, she sexes your Dad up, you don't. Chances are he will side with her on pretty much anything realistic.

[kuronosan]

So why don't you move in with your mom?

She lives in Europe, which is where I was raised. I came to the states for, you know, opportunity. My father lives here. Girlfriend is also from Europe, that's why we get along so well (our upbringings were so similar).

Why get started on my stepdad? My mother re-married and she's happy. She doesn't try to force me to get along with him. She also doesn't lay guilt trips on me. Comparisons aside, notwithstanding that she hasn't met my girlfriend at all (but has chatted with her), the point here is that I want to be on my own; for one, and for two, that my father is trying to make it seem like I'm separating the family when he hasn't been a model parent himself.

So instead of siding with his son, and telling her she needs to respect others before she'll be respected, he tells me I'm the problem and so is my stepmother.

Yes, this is the same father who I've bailed out countless times because he doesn't know how to save. I spent my entire savings moving the two of us to where we are now (Kansas) and let him max out my cards because he made me feel guilty (You have fun by playing that online final fantasy game thing, so I should be allowed to take out this girl and spend money too) and continues to do it.

Also, they criticize what we choose to do... we were talking about possible baby names when we get married and she comes in and tells us we shouldn't be talking about marriage or babies yet and why we're picking the names we're picking and then my father will hear it and do the same thing.

Yet her daughter had a baby out of wedlock with a man who doesn't love her and her son married his first girlfriend. I'm a grown man and if I want to get married and name my babies something (no, it's not a stupid name, it's a real, traditional Russian name) in the future when I have kids, it's my business.

My father even criticized her for wanting to keep her last name and hyphenate it. He even told me not to get serious with her because he wanted me to meet and marry a Puerto Rican girl (we're Puerto Rican).

It's complicated to explain every facet of this situation. I assure you, however, that I am far from selfish.

[Shuemue]

You need to man the fuck up and move out.

It's simple, it's your old man's house. What he and his bitch say is the law.

If he's genuinely using you for cash like you suggest, you'd be doing everyone a favour.

Oh and is your girlfriend living there too?

[Melchiah]

read: her house

This is what you don't seem to have a grasp on.

I'll be 27 on the 20th of this month. I still live with my parents because they are gracious enough to allow me to do so and not charge me any rent while I'm finishing up my engineering degree.

As such, I generally comply with whatever they ask me to do, and follow their rules and don't give them any shit.

Your parent's responsibility towards you ends at such point as they have prepared you to be a functioning citizen. They don't owe you a GD thing, they are being gracious.

[Seraph]

"There is no cure for crazy bitch."

[Pirian]

Oh and is your girlfriend living there too?

You didn't read the thread. Move along, move along.


Anyways, your stepmother sounds a lot like mine, but I don't live with her. My sister lived with them for 4 years before moving back in with my mother for her last 2 years of highschool. My step mother has completely ruined the relationship between my sister and father. They, my father and sister, tried to patch things up a few years ago but that was quickly put down by my stepmother. Now they haven't talked quite a long time, he didn't even know my sister had a 2nd child until I mentioned it to him offhandedly. Oh, and my stepmother is VERY christian and has "forced" that upon my father, and they pray every night that my Jewish ass will find Jesus some day. My father didn't even attend my bar mitzvah, lol. Talk about rejecting your 13 y/o son =p

Anyways though, I would just say move out as soon as you can and if he wants to try and patch things up with you then let him, but otherwise let him live his life and you live yours. It sucks but trust me, been there done that.

[Tyche]

Actually it's his stepmom's house. I missed that the first time. Certainly brings in a whole new parameter. The stories also are so one-sided. You make your dad out to be a lazy self-indulgent bum and your stepmom to be a fucking nutcase. If everything you say is true with no other context that you're omitting, then your a damned idiot for catering to that behavior by letting your dad use you and I have no sympathy for you.

[Shuemue]

You didn't read the thread. Move along, move along.


Anyways, your stepmother sounds a lot like mine, but I don't live with her. My sister lived with them for 4 years before moving back in with my mother for her last 2 years of highschool. My step mother has completely ruined the relationship between my sister and father. They, my father and sister, tried to patch things up a few years ago but that was quickly put down by my stepmother. Now they haven't talked quite a long time, he didn't even know my sister had a 2nd child until I mentioned it to him offhandedly. Oh, and my stepmother is VERY christian and has "forced" that upon my father, and they pray every night that my Jewish ass will find Jesus some day. My father didn't even attend my bar mitzvah, lol. Talk about rejecting your 13 y/o son =p

Anyways though, I would just say move out as soon as you can and if he wants to try and patch things up with you then let him, but otherwise let him live his life and you live yours. It sucks but trust me, been there done that.

You're pretty rejectable tbh

[Pirian]

Trolling is fun fun fun

[kuronosan]

Actually it's his stepmom's house. I missed that the first time. Certainly brings in a whole new parameter. The stories also are so one-sided. You make your dad out to be a lazy self-indulgent bum and your stepmom to be a fucking nutcase. If everything you say is true with no other context that you're omitting, then your a damned idiot for catering to that behavior by letting your dad use you and I have no sympathy for you.

I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm asking for advice.

I'm not perfect myself, but honestly my father is a lazy self-indulgent bum and my stepmother is a nutcase (she has bipolar amongst other things).

I'm not trying to paint a rosy picture of myself, but I honestly try a lot harder than you'd think.

I've actually had to start seeing a psychologist because of this entire situation and how it's changed me.

[Shuemue]

Wow.

Dude, grow a pair, move out, live your own fucking life.

[#686578]

[01:24:46] Shue: has anyone read the step-parenting thread?
[01:24:48] Shue: it's a gem
[01:25:10] Shue: OP has serious issues
[01:25:33] Numbers: lmao
[01:25:40] Numbers: I dont think I even want to
[01:25:45] Numbers: ...okay maybe I do
[01:26:41] Shue: you'll troll him, I'm fairly sure
[01:27:07] Numbers: idk
[01:27:09] Numbers: Actually
[01:27:12] Numbers: I agree with him
[01:27:38] Numbers: I know way too many people with step parents that are only there because their real parent doesnt want to die alone
[01:27:40] Numbers: and is quite frankly
[01:27:46] Numbers: Either a complete cunt or a complete jack ass
[01:27:49] Numbers: and if they dont get their way
[01:27:52] Numbers: They throw a tantrum
[01:28:37] Shue: no
[01:28:49] Shue: they're in the stepmom's house
[01:29:02] Shue: they're living in her shit, trying to tell her how to behave

[01:29:09] Shue: that's not how charity works
[01:29:27] Shue: plus he's such a pussy
[01:29:34] Shue: OH I NEED THERAPY OVER IT
[01:29:38] Shue: wahh wahhh
[01:29:55] Numbers: That's also not how family is really supposed to work. The whole "My house my rules" thing is supposed to work on the principle of authority and respect for your parents for putting up with you
[01:29:59] Numbers: Not charity
[01:30:08] Numbers: But yeah
[01:30:11] Numbers: You're right because he's 18
[01:30:19] Numbers: And she doesnt need to let him live there anymore
[01:30:24] Vistani: i read that one
[01:30:26] Numbers: If he was under 18 it'd be different
[01:30:29] Shue: he's moved out and moved back in to save money
[01:30:30] Vistani: it sounds like his parents are terrible and so is he
[01:30:31] Shue: fuck him
[01:30:34] Numbers: Yeah
[01:30:35] Numbers: Basically

[#686578]

I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm asking for advice.

Wow.

Dude, grow a pair, move out, live your own fucking life.

This is actually the real only advice there is. Move out. I know way too many (underaged, or recently turned over aged [or financially able to move out]) people that were stuck in similar situations and this is the only way to handle it successfully in the end.

[Abandon]

Get out. That bitch is crazy; let her destroy her own life, and not drag yours to hell with it.

And while you're at it.... eat all the food, THEN move out. fucking bitch, suck on that~

[Neosutra]

1. Move out if you want a say. Those who dont pay the bills get 0 input and need to appreciate free room and board.

2. Seduce and Fuck your step mother, its hot and everyone is doing it. You know she has thought about it.